We open to Strong Woman residence where PC Principal and Strong Woman were sleeping together.
PC Principal wakes up and gets out of bed.
He walks downstairs and decides to pour himself a glass of water.
What he didn't notice was a man sitting on the couch in the living room.
The man started to slowly walk up behind PC Principal.
PC Principal was on his phone.
PC Principal (Whispering): What the fuck did he say about Parasite? He didn't even see the movie, yet The President has a problem with it.
The man was about to use piano wire to choke him to death.
But quickly PC Principal turned around to face the man.
PC Principal: Can I help you?
The man just stares at PC Principal.
PC Principal: Is there something wrong?
Suddenly the man grabs PC Principal and throws him against the wall.
PC Principal: What the?
The man was about to punch PC Principal, but PC Principal quickly dodged the punch and the man's fist went through the wall.
PC Principal punches the man and the man punched back.
PC Principal throws a few punches at the man, but the man just kept blocking them.
The man grabs PC Principal and throws him into the living room.
The man grabs a knife and slowly approached PC Principal.
The man was about to stab PC Principal, but all of a sudden the light turned on.
Strong Woman (Whispering): Could you two take this outside? The babies are asleep.
PC Principal (Whispering): Sorry.
Strong Woman goes back upstairs.
The Man (whispering): Alright, lets take this outside.
PC Principal and the man exit through the front door.
Man: Shall we con-
PC Principal punches the man.
PC Principal: Yeah. Let's continue.
The man was holding onto his nose; he removed his hand to reveal his bloody nose.
But the man's blood was blue.
Man: Good.
PC Principal was shocked at the discovery.
The man spins the knife.
The man approaches PC Principal in an attempt to stab him.
But quickly PC Principal grabs the man's wrist.
The man and PC Principal start wrestling for the knife.
PC Principal head-butts the man causing him to let go of the knife.
PC Principal picks up the knife.
The man tackles PC Principal to the ground.
But quickly, PC Principal uses the knife to slice the man's neck open.
Blue blood flew out of the man's open neck causing it to hit PC Principal's face.
PC Principal knocked the dead body off of him.
But the blue blood kept flying out of the man's open neck so it looked like some kind of water fountain.
PC Principal stood up and did some heavy breathing.
PC Principal walked into Strong Woman's house.
Strong Woman was waiting for him.
Strong Woman: What happened? What is that blue stuff?
PC Principal took a seat on the couch.
PC Principal: Some old enemies of mine have returned.
Dramatic music played as PC Principal looked outside to see that the blue blood fountain was still going on.
The next day.
South Park elementary.
4th Grade Class.
Mrs Nelson: Now class, we are gonna discuss if Parasite deserved the best picture win. After hearing some "compliments" from our President I thought it would be interesting to discuss the win. I saw Parasite the other day and I thought it was amazing and it deserved best picture. Who would like to share their opinions?
Cartman: I saw it last week and it was awful.
Mrs Nelson: Why is that Eric?
Cartman: There was no word of English spoken.
Mrs Nelson: That's it?
Cartman: Yes! I can't stand movies that don't speak a word of English.
Mrs Nelson: Right. What about you Jimmy?
Jimmy: Well I per-per-personally didn't like it. I th-th-th-th-thought-
Voice on PA system: Jimmy Valmer, please report to the principal's office.
Jimmy: Wh-wh-what?!
Cartman: Uh oh. PC Principal doesn't like your opinion.
Jimmy: I haven't even s-s-said it.
The principal's office.
Jimmy enters the office.
Jimmy: Al-al-alright PC P-P-P-
PC Principal gets off his seat and quickly closes the curtains.
Jimmy: P-P-P-P-
PC Principal quickly locks the door.
Jimmy: P-P-Principal.
PC Principal: Did anyone follow you?
Jimmy: No.
Suddenly there was a knock at the door.
PC Principal quickly grabs his gun and starts shooting at the door.
Mr Mackey (Off-Screen): What the fuck?!
PC Principal: Sorry Mackey.
Mr Mackey (Off-Screen): You're lucky no bullets hit me, mmkay.
PC Principal: Again I'm sorry.
PC Principal returned to his seat.
Jimmy: What the f-f-fuck was that all about?
PC Principal: Valmer this is really important.
Jimmy: Is it a-about my negative thoughts on P-P-P-Parasite.
PC Principal: No, but we will discuss that at some point. You're here because I don't think we killed the Ads.
Jimmy: What do y-y-you mean?
PC Principal: I got attacked last night by a person. That person tried to kill me, than I sliced his neck and blue blood flew into my face.
Jimmy: Did you think y-y-y-you were imagining it?
PC Principal gets out of his seat.
PC Principal: Does this look an imagination?!
PC Principal shows a napkin with a bit of blue on it.
Jimmy: Looks l-l-l-like paint.
PC Principal inspects the napkin further.
PC Principal: Sorry, Emory made this for me. It's meant to be a bird.
But the painting didn't look like a bird.
Jimmy: Yeah, l-l-looks pretty bird like.
PC Principal pulls another napkin out.
But the blue that was on the napkin was glowing quite a bit.
Jimmy was shocked.
Jimmy: No, it c-can't be.
PC Principal: It is.
Jimmy: B-but that's Impossible I-I-I-I thought we wiped them o-out.
PC Principal: Apparently not. Do you still have your glasses Jimmy?
Jimmy: Glasses?
PC Principal: The ones that tell you who's an Ad and who's not.
Jimmy: Oh those gla-gla-gla-glasses.
PC Principal: Yes.
Jimmy: I h-have them at home.
PC Principal: Come.
PC Principal gets out of his seat.
Jimmy: B-but I have c-c-class.
PC Principal: Class can wait Valmer, the world needs saving.
PC Principal opens the door and Mrs Nelson was standing there.
Mrs Nelson: PC Principal, Jimmy Valmer needs to-
PC Principal and Jimmy run past Mrs Nelson.
Mrs Nelson: Where are you going?
Jimmy: N-none of your concern M-M-Mrs Nelson. Me and P-PC Principal are gonna save the w-w-w-world.
The two left the area leaving Mrs Nelson confused.
Later.
PC Principal and Jimmy make it to the Valmer residence.
PC Principal knocks on the door.
Sarah (Jimmy's Mom) answered.
Ryan: Hi PC Principal what can I-
PC Principal pushes Sarah out of his way and runs into the house.
Jimmy walks past his Mom.
Jimmy: H-h-h-h-hi-hello Mom.
PC Principal was in Jimmy's room looking through his drawers.
PC Principal: Where are they?
Jimmy: T-t-they should be in my c-c-c-c-closet.
Jimmy opens his closet and rummages through it.
Jimmy: S-s-s-shit.
PC Principal: What?
Jimmy: They aren't th-th-there.
PC Principal: What?! What did you do to them?!
Jimmy: I left the-the-them in the closet for m-m-m-moments like these.
Sarah (Off-Screen): Jimmy could you please come downstairs for a minute?
PC Principal: You go to your Mom, I'll look for the glasses.
Jimmy goes downstairs.
There, he sees a man at the front porch.
Sarah: Jimmy, did you know anything about this man?
Man: Oh he's here already?
Jimmy: Who-who-who is this guy?
Sarah: He's meant to be a tutor sent by PC Principal to help you with your studies.
Tutor: That's right. I'm aware you're struggling with your history.
Jimmy: Why-why are you here now?
Tutor: I wanted to chat your Mom about the whole tutor thing and-
PC Principal makes it downstairs.
PC Principal: I can't find the glasses Valmer.
Tutor: Oh shit he's here.
Sarah: PC Principal I'm so glad you hired a tutor for Jimmy. I'm so glad you're doing something about h-
PC Principal: I'm sorry, I don't remember hiring a tutor for Valmer.
Sarah, Jimmy and the tutor stared at each other in confusion.
PC Principal: Unless, he's an Ad!
PC Principal aims his gun at the tutor.
The tutor screamed and ran away.
PC Principal went after the tutor and shot him in the shoulder.
PC Principal approached the tutor.
The tutor was panicking and holding onto his bloody shoulder.
Tutor: Please don't kill me! I was only hired to teach Valmer.
PC Principal aims his gun at the man and realised his blood was red.
PC Principal was shocked at the discovery.
PC Principal: Oh shit! I am so sorry!
Tutor: Sorry? Sorry? I thought you were PC! And you shot an innocent, Jewish man!
PC Principal: I only shot you in the shoulder to be sure.
Tutor: To be sure I was Jewish?!
PC Principal: No, an Ad.
Tutor: An Ad? You're against them as well?
PC Principal: Yeah.
Tutor: Well you gotta take precautions I suppose.
PC Principal: Wait, are you actually a tutor?
Tutor: We'll discuss things inside.
PC Principal: Do you have a name?
Tutor: Since, I'm in disguise you might as well call me Tutor. Shall we discuss things inside now without any distractions?
PC Principal: Don't you want that shoulder-
Tutor: I'll be fine. All I need is some whisky, some tweezers and a wet napkin.
Later.
PC Principal and Jimmy were sitting on the couch listening to Tutor.
Jimmy: So are you actually a-a-a-a-a-a tutor?
Tutor: No, I'm a reporter. For channel 9 news. Denver's most reliable source when it comes to news.
Whilst talking Tutor was preparing the medical equipment for his bullet wound.
Tutor: I have been sent to South (Places napkin drenched in whisky on wound) PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRKKKKKKKKK! (Removes napkin from wound) by a few reporters to get your help Valmer.
Jimmy: Be-be-because the Ads have re-returned. I know.
PC Principal: I was attacked by one last night. Again, I deeply apologise for shooting you.
Tutor: It's ok, I've been shot in the shoulder many ti- (Places napkin drenched in whisky on shoulder) Fuck! Oh Fucking, fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! How do most people get used to this?! Fuck! (Removes napkin from wound). Anyway Jimmy, the Ads have returned and we're wondering, can you help us?
Jimmy: I can't with-with-with-without my glasses.
Tutor: You mean the ones from Keith David?
Jimmy: Y-y-yes.
Tutor: Than that can only mean one thing, the Ads must've found the glasses in your home. Pass me those tweezers.
PC Principal passes Tutor the tweezers.
Jimmy: So w-what's my mission?
Tutor: Rumour has it that the mayor of (Starts to remove bullet from wound) NOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTHHHHHHH! FUCK ME! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! (Removes bullet from wound) Park. Rumour has it that the mayor of North Park is an Ad in disguise.
PC Principal: What makes you think think Jim Doyle is an ad?
Tutor: It's a rumour. We don't really have any clear evidence to the claim. This is what I want you to do, I need you to take some pictures of the mayor. Follow him and-
Suddenly Tutor gets shot in the back of the shoulder and collapses.
Jimmy and PC Principal gasp.
Tutor gets up off the floor.
Tutor: I'm fi-
Tutor gets shot in the back of the arm and collapses.
Tutor gets up.
Tutor: Run!
Tutor gets shot in the back of the head.
PC Principal and Jimmy get off the couch and start running.
Tutor: Hide!
Tutor gets shot in the back of the head and the bullet exits his mouth.
PC Principal and Jimmy stand there waiting.
Tutor gets up again.
Tutor: Go!
Tutor gets shot with a hail of bullets.
Jimmy: T-t-tutor.
But Tutor didn't get up.
PC Principal: There's no time.
PC Principal and Jimmy run to the car.
PC Principal was in the drivers seat whilst Jimmy was in the passengers seat.
PC Principal starts driving.
PC Principal: Seatbelts?
Jimmy: D-drive!
PC Principal starts the car up and starts speeding.
Suddenly the sound of an uzi going off was heard and the two were attacked by a hail of bullets.
PC Principal continues driving as fast as he could.
Jimmy looks through the rear view mirror and notices a tough looking man holding an uzi. The man was in a car and following them in a car.
PC Principal continued to drive fast.
They drove past a cop car.
Yates: All units. All units we have a speeding-
The tough looking guy's car drove past as well.
Yates: All units cancel that order, it's just a car chase.
Back at the car chase.
The tough guy's car.
The tough looking guy continues firing his gun at the two.
In PC Principal's car.
Jimmy and PC Principal still continue to dodge the bullets.
Jimmy: Do you h-h-have a spare gun?
PC Principal: Yes.
Jimmy starts searching the glove compartment.
Jimmy: W-where is it?
PC Principal: I left it at my house.
Jimmy: We're in a c-car chase being chased by an a-a-a-a-a-asshole with a gun and you don't have a spare gun in the car f-f-f-for emergencies?!
PC Principal: I didn't think I was gonna need it.
Jimmy does an annoyed sighed.
Jimmy starts grabbing some stuff from the glove compartment.
PC Principal: What are you doing?
Jimmy: Improvi-vi-vising.
Jimmy starts throwing piles of paper out of the window.
The paper hits the windshield of the tough guy's car; blocking his view.
PC Principal: Those better not be important documents.
Jimmy: I don't think they w-were.
Jimmy throws an apple at the tough guy's windshield causing his view to be blocked again.
The tough guy pokes his head out from the driver's side window.
Tough guy: Do you know what this is?! It's a hummer. Great for relax-
Suddenly another apple hits the tough guy in the head.
Jimmy: T-there's our proof he's an Ad.
Jimmy throws a matchbox out of the window.
But the matchbox had bullet cartridges.
Jimmy gives PC Principal an annoyed look.
PC Principal: What?
Jimmy: Y-you had bullets?
PC Principal: They might've been for another gun.
Jimmy: T-they looked like the bullets from y-y-your gun.
PC Principal: Than I must've forgotten I had those.
We cut to Randy and Towelie standing by a weed cart in the middle of the road.
Towelie: I don't know Randy, I don't think we should leave the weed cart in the middle of the road.
Randy: Why Towelie?
Towelie: Because we might be blocking somebody's route and we don't want another pissed off customer.
Randy: Relax Towelie, they can just drive around it.
Towelie: I don't know Randy, they can just crash through it.
Back to PC Principal and Jimmy.
Jimmy throws a magic eight ball out of the window.
Jimmy: I c-can't see the Ad. Do y-y-you see the Ad on your side?
PC Principal pokes his head out of the window to see if the tough guy is still tailing them.
Jimmy: W-w-w-weed cart!
PC Principal pulls his head back in and steps on the breaks.
Randy: And that's why nobody's gonna crash through it.
PC Principal's car drives around the weed cart.
Randy: See?
But the tough guy's cart crashes through the cart.
Towelie: See?
The car PC Principal was in crashes into a tree.
PC Principal and jImmy exit the car covered in bruises.
The tough guy's car parks up.
The tough guy exits the car and approaches two.
Tough guy: Really wasted my time.
The tough guy cocks his gun.
PC Principal: You wouldn't kill a handicapped child would you?
Tough guy: I ran over 12 of them back in 6 separate states. Sometimes on accident, sometimes because I didn't have anything better to do and sometimes because I'm frustrated.
The tough guy points his gun at Jimmy and points another one at PC Principal.
Tough guy: I know you were gonna try and stop me from killing Valmer. You must think all Ads are stupid. Well we are nowadays, but I'm one of the few clever ones.
Suddenly a jeep parked up behind the Ad.
Tough guy turns his back around.
Tough guy: I don't want any witnesses. Leave and your life will be spared!
The driver gets out of the car and the ad realised that this specific driver has a machine rifle.
The driver starts shooting the gun at the Ad until it was no more than a blue bloody mess.
PC Princpal and Jimmy were shocked.
Their saviour was none other than ex Principal Victoria.
Victoria: Missed me?
Jimmy and PC Principal continue to stare at her in disbelief.
Victoria: We have a lot to discuss.
Suddenly Randy showed up a few feet away from the jeep with a coke cart.
Randy: Principal Victoria. Hi!
Victoria turns around and notices Randy.
Victoria: Hello Randy.
Randy: You're probably gonna need a catch up. Cocaine's no longer a drug thanks to me (Victoria walks to her jeep). It started when I gave the town some weed for Christmas because Santa was a buzzkill. But the weed had (Victoria pulls a rocket launcher from her jeep) some white stuff on the top and it was cocaine. The mayor-
Victoria: Uh Huh. Can you move very far away from your cart please?
Randy: Of course.
Victoria: Very far.
Randy moves very far away.
Victoria uses the rocket launcher to blow up the cart.
Randy was shocked and angrily stares at Victoria.
Victoria: Cocaine killed Whitney Houston, dumb ass.