Max and I are still here - working on ideas, but I decided to rework and go with a particularly dumb (even for me) plot bunny, that's been in the back of my head forever. "What happens to Corypheus after the end?" Now with added Max, so maybe? spoilers for my current plans for Max-verse Inquisition. It's already an April Fools' Day fic, may as well abandon any logic.
Pain.
So quick and overwhelming, Corypheus was unsure if there had been time to scream before it ebbed. Not that the thought helped. There had been so many deaths, before the Grey Wardens had given up trying to destroy him. He had been hanged, dismembered, set ablaze, turned into ice and shattered, hurled into lava... even fed to a wyvern that had been smuggled to the hidden fortress from somewhere. Still, having his body explode from the inside as he was squashed into nothing had been infinitely worse than all of those. The attempt had regardless failed, like all of the others. As always, he had endured.
Corypheus gave the strange green sky another glance. This time was different, however. He had finally breached the Veil again, except without the Orb or even an escape follow-up plan. "... Now what?" he muttered. Many days passed, or so Corypheus figured. The closest thing to a measure of time in the Fade seemed to be when a certain spinning rock in the sky passed him. Wearily, he rose and began walking. His magic still had not returned, and waiting became beyond tedious. Perhaps he could find a gullible Spirit that might entertain him for a time.
Eventually, he stumbled upon someone. A figure far too solid to be a native of the Fade. "You're... not a Spirit, are you?" Corypheus cautiously voiced.
The brown-haired figure turned around, without a hint of fear. "Oh, hello! You must be that Magister we heard about?"
Squinting as he realised the shape was definitely a human, Corypheus gave a wary nod. "I would hope so. Unless there's more of us."
"Not that I've seen, and we get plenty of oddities at card night" the man shrugged. "I'm Niall, by the way. Corypheus, isn't it?" he asked, offering out a hand.
Corypheus gave it a disapproving glare. "Card night?"
Niall smiled. "There's not a lot to do here, so we meet up and play Diamondback." He pointed up at an indistinguishable blob in the distant sky. Corypheus merely continued to glare. "See? When that shattered castle is near the storm cloud that looks like a nug, it's usually time." Niall stopped talking, and rubbed his hair. "... I'd invite you, but it might get awkward. The Divine – well, we think she's the Divine. She's not even sure, though – will probably be there. Plus that angry guy. The others shouldn't care, though."
'Whatever stops you talking' the Magister internally groaned. "Fine, whatever. Lead on."
"So then, the Hero says Mother would have been proud of me. World was probably coming to an end, and she still bothered reassuring me. Even though I was already dead, you know?" Niall asked, not waiting for an answer. "Them two Wardens, you'll meet them soon, said she should have died killing the Archdemon. But she lived. Probably that Cousland breeding, I guess?"
"Wardens? Here?" Corypheus stopped, grabbing Niall's shoulder.
"Oh, don't worry. They've been here for decades, nobody you killed" Niall nodded. "Well, not them at least."
"Niall! I sense you, so hurry up!" a strange voice called from over the ridge.
"... What was that?" Corypheus demanded.
"That's just Sloth. He usually doesn't play, he just stays as a bear and watches. I think he only really comes for the company" Niall answered. "So that probably means Mouse came, too."
As they reached the edge of the playing crater, Corypheus looked down to notice a bear-shaped demon curled up near a large table. "A bear, indeed." Turning back to the table, he frowned. "So what kind of demon is that dog?" Corypheus enquired, pointing at the head of the table.
"Max? He's not a demon. He just... shows up. Main character powers, he calls it."
The Mabari sat up, leaning across the table. "Don't call me a demon, you fucking talking walnut!"
"... Walnut?" Corypheus hissed, instinctively trying to summon a fireball. 'My magic still hasn't returned? ... Was my last body even a natural Mage, come to think of it? Perhaps I'm powerless now...' With a sense of defeat, Corypheus lowered his hand.
"Yeah, that's what I thought" the Mabari gloated. "It's been too long since I kicked a Darkspawn's butt, and my Fade body is still young. I'll mess you up even worse than that other Lord Maxwell ever did. Just try me, arsehole."
Sloth had stood up, only to drop back when nothing happened. "So much for a fight. Tonight will be boring, again."
"Your face does look like a walnut, though" another odd voice echoed.
"Oh hey, Mouse!" the Mabari greeted thin air, already ignoring Corypheus.
"Where..." the Magister sighed, turning to where the voice seemed to be.
"Down here" a shimmering rodent called, before it blurred into a massive bulk.
"... a Pride Demon, that hides as a mouse?"
"It started as a joke. I think. I don't remember why anymore" Mouse answered, sitting down at the other end of the table. "We playing tonight?"
The Mabari barked in confirmation. "Once the others get here. If they're coming. Jules and Nicky will be here, at least."
"Who?"
Niall pointed Corypheus to one of the chairs. "That's the two Wardens I mentioned. Nicolas and Julien."
"They're married or something. If that still counts in the Fade" the Mabari answered. "You're another ancient Darkspawn thing, like that Architect freak, right? Do you even know the rules for Diamondback, Walnut?"
'Architect? That seems familiar...' Abandoning his musing, Corypheus sat down. "Explain it while we wait. And my name is Corypheus. I didn't survive this long to suffer puerile nicknames from southlanders. I was alive when your worthless nations were all part of the Imperium."
"Riffy, got it" the Mabari answered. "Since we're talking lineage or whatever you just said, you may call me Lord Maxwell of Highever and Amaranthine. And sometimes the Fade, if I'm having a real good snooze and end up here. Or some idiot Orlesian woman sends a bunch of us to her ghost village..."
Niall glanced over "An abandoned town?"
"Nah, the town was already abandoned. She sent us to the creepier version. Had chickens running around little Fade coops and everything. You believe that, man? Fade Chickens?!"
"You're still not over the chickens, huh?" Mouse snorted, while Niall conjured up a scroll of Diamondback rules.
"These are our usual house rules" he noted, handing it to Corypheus.
A faint grumble sounded, as Sloth lifted its head. "Do you mean the town was full of ghosts, or the town itself was a ghost?"
Max rolled his eyes in annoyance. "I said a ghost village, not a village ghost!"
"What's the difference?" Mouse prodded, enjoying Max's frustration.
"A town that somehow comes back as a ghost? Village ghost. A ghost village is a town of ghosts! It's pretty simple."
"But it manifested in the Fade, so isn't it also a village ghost?" Niall enquired, while pointing out a relevant rule section to the sighing Magister.
"If they're in the Fade, they're only spirits! Ghosts is when they're in Thedas. Duh" Max declared.
"But we can enter this Thedas place" Sloth gave as a rebuttal. "Well, not me. Sounds far too bothersome. They even still call us Spirits. Or Demons."
"Shut your gob, you lazy git! That's an exception to the facts!" Max barked.
"That snooty Elf would probably have like 10 problems with what you just said" a new arrival called out, as two men appeared from the swirling mists.
"He can especially shut up..." Max muttered in response. "Nicky, Jules."
They both waved. "Hey, everyone... is that the Magister?"
Corypheus glanced up, noticing their Grey Warden armour. "Oh? Are the mortals going to fight this time?" Sloth drawled.
"I'm no mortal" Corypheus warned.
"Nothing is, in here" Niall shrugged. "You might have been impossible to kill, but now we all are."
"Yup. So sit down, shut up and let's play cards" Max announced. "Guys, this is Riffy. Riffy, meet Nicky and Jules." He stopped, and nodded his snout towards one of the newcomers. "The beardier one there, is Jules. Nicky is the blonde one."
"It's Corypheus, dog" he glared in response.
"Really?" Max asked, with a feigned look of surprise. "I thought you were a Corypheus human?"
The two Wardens gave an exasperated chuckle, and took their seats. "Bad jokes aside, where's Mac Tir?"
"Who?" Corypheus asked, as he returned to the scroll.
"Old Man Nail? Helped shove the Empire out of Fereldan... not your empire, the Orlesian one. You're old, so you might not have heard about it?" Max offered. "Anyway, he became a Warden to help kill the Archdemon; not your fake one, the proper one." Corypheus only gave an unamused stare.
"Anyway, he helped break up your little demon party at Fort Adamant, and then fell into a hole to this place. He fought off your giant Bogle demon and got stuck here."
"My... what demon?"
"That Fear demon which sided with you" Mouse interjected. "It looks like a rodent-creature, to Maxwell."
"Look, man, Nugs are fucking terrifying" Max shuddered. "But yeah, apparently it looks different to everyone else. Your worst fear or something. Because Fear demons really gotta stick to their one shtick and never break character, I guess?"
"Where is Loghain, anyway?" Niall wondered.
"Probably off shagging Ghost Dotty somewhere" Max suggested. "They're not great at hiding it."
"Makes sense... that's why we were late" Julien gloated.
"Is this an actual game of cards, or some kind of orgy?" Corypheus muttered.
"Nah, they just all paired up. I'm pretty sure Niall and Mouse are going at it, so you'll have to settle for the fatarse bear, I guess" Max said.
"Not interested" Sloth called back.
"Ouch, bro. Good luck finding some willing Spirit thing" was Max's disinterested response, as he began to shuffle a deck with his paws.
"... How are you even doing that?" Corypheus asked, eager to let the previous topic pass.
"I met some other dogs in Kirkwall once. They showed me how to play Diamondback, and I learnt other games from there."
"No, how are you shuffling?" he pushed.
"Dunno, now I think about it. It's the Fade, why bother questioning it?" Max absently answered, returning his attention to the deck. "Now ssh. Gotta make sure nobody slipped extra cards in here again."
"If we're going to cheat, can't we just imagine up cards?" Corypheus realised.
"Yeah, but we're playing against a Pride Demon. He knows if wins aren't being earned, through magic" Max pointed out.
"It's true. So try to cheat, and I'll hurl you over the edge of this rock."
"He will" Julien warned. "That's why your Fear creature never came back to play again."
Pausing, Corypheus glanced over and finally paid attention to the Wardens. "Wait. Are you..."
"He's Jules" Max cut in, before Nicolas could. "We don't question him or Dotty. Ghost people are still people. Got it?"
A faint cracking sound echoed, which only Corypheus paid any heed. "... Now what?"
"Tonight is a game, now he's here" Niall pondered to himself.
"Feyn!" Max bellowed, as another new arrival reached the table. "Haven't seen you for a while."
"Things have been busy" Feynriel answered, sliding into a chair. "Who's-"
"Riffy, that Magister who was trying to fuck up the world. Made the sky tears" Max said. "Riffy, meet Feyn. He has magic dreams. Like better than normal Mages."
"A somniari?" Corypheus gawked. "... Interesting."
"Sure, that word" Max coughed. "He's a lot better than the other one, too."
"Other one? You... have more?"
"He's a real smug prick, but don't worry. He never stays long. He mostly just lectures Feyn for not doing Elfness right" Max added. "Anyway, shall we start? Just a friendly round, first. Let Riffy get the hang of it."
Everyone voiced their agreement, as Max began to deal.
As Niall pointed out the best approach for the cards in Corypheus' hand, another crack sounded.
"Oh shit, not him again" Sloth groaned.
"... Hey, Creepy" Max sighed. "We're full up for players. Sorry, I guess. You can piss off now."
"Always with the charming greetings" Solas hissed through clenched teeth. "I'm just here to check on Feynriel's progress."
"You guys keep playing" Feynriel shrugged. "Alright, Solas, let's talk over there."
Spinning around at the name, Corypheus leapt up in rage. "You!"
Finally bothering to look at the seated players, Solas found himself grabbed by the throat. Trying to force out words, his head was slammed down onto the table.
"Your minions convinced me it was a good idea! I might have been happy, to stay hidden!" Corypheus snarled.
Grimacing, Solas willed himself to vanish back to the other side of the Veil.
"Huh... now we know for sure, Sleep mages can't pull people out with them. Or you're definitely dead" Max pondered. "Sorry about that."
"Thank you!" Mouse grinned. "Even for my liking, that guy's way too self-preening."
"Yeah, he really is the worst" Niall opined, as he finished picking up the cards Corypheus had scattered during his attack.
Everyone grunted their unison about Solas, while Corypheus slunk back down.
"Well, the good news is he probably won't be back for a while" Max smiled. "Now, let's play."
Told you it was dumb. Some actual Max stuff is coming soonish, though. If Janie ever reads this, I kinda-not really apologise for the Solas bashing.