Author's Note
I've cancelled "Life After Thirty" on the grounds that it has degenerated into a cheesy "King Of The Hill" ripoff. Therefore, it is retconned out of my Dariaverse. Basically, think of canon "Daria" as "Dragon Ball", "Quinn" as "Dragon Ball Z", "Life After Thirty" as "Dragon Ball GT" and this new series as "Dragon Ball Super". Basically, this is a sequel to replace my first attempt at a sequel to "Quinn". "Life After Thirty" is to be burned and forgotten. Anywhoooo...
Opening Montage
Music: "You're Standing On My Neck"
First, we see Quinn and her husband, Jim, driving a moving van toward New York City. This is followed by a shot of the Carbones and Ruttheimers having a joyous reunion in front of a new house on Long Island. Next, we see Quinn and Daria walking in Central Park. Quinn throws some popcorn to some happy, hungry squirrels. Daria does the same thing, but the squirrels run from her as if she were a monster. Next, we see Jim and Chuck talking with some neighbors. Afterwards, we see Quinn and Stacy mingle at a party while Daria and Jane stand off to the side and make snarky comments. Next, we see Daria and Quinn on the beach at Coney island. A bunch of studly guys start chatting up Quinn. When a fight breaks out both Quinn and Daria look dismayed. This is followed by a shot of Quinn and Daria walking down the street. As someone is mugged in front of them Quinn is about to interfere until Daria dissuades her. Next, we see Quinn and Jim on a double date with Daria and a guy. The guy pays more attention to Quinn than Daria. This makes Jim visibly jealous. When a fight breaks out, both Daria and Quinn smirk that famous Mona Lisa smile. After this, we see a pink background with both Quinn and Daria's heads in a circle. Below them is the following caption...
"Daria And Quinn"
in
"Time For A Change"
written by
WildDogJJ
Quinn and Jim's house in Lawndale, day...
Quinn was in the kitchen taking some marangue's out of the oven. A tripod mounted camera was recording the whole action. After shutting off the oven, Quinn turned her attention to the camera.
"...and that's how you make the perfect lemon marangue's AND use the leftover batter as an exfoliant. Don't forget to like and subscribe. Next time, we'll learn how to make a fruit pie and use the rinds to eliminate eye bags on "S'mores 'n' Pores", cooking good and looking good. Bye!"
With that, Quinn shut off the camera. No sooner had she done that when the phone rang. Quinn answered.
"Hello?"
She smiled when she heard who it was.
"Oh, Hi, Stacy!"
Quinn was happy to hear from her old BFF. She and Stacy had remained close over the years. After Quinn and Jim got married Stacy's journalism career seemed to grow, along with her family. It went so well that a few years ago Stacy was offered a job at the flagship station in New York. As a result of taking the job Stacy moved with her husband and kids and now lived in a big two-story house on Long Island. Quinn was happy for her, and also a little jealous. While Stacy was living out her dream Quinn was stuck in Lawndale. Indeed, Quinn was growing lonely. True, she was happily married with kids and had a successful YouTube channel. It didn't change the fact that all her old friends and the rest of her family were gone. Her sister was in New York, her BFF was in New York, her parents were in Ft. Lauderdale (when they weren't traveling around the world) and her other friends had gradually lost touch and scattered to parts unknown. Sometimes, the only thing keeping Quinn together was the fact that her husband and kids were stuck in the same boat.
"How are you, Quinn?" Stacy asked from the other end of the line.
"Could be better," Quinn dryly replied. "My kids hate school, my husband hates our neighbors even more than I do and I miss everyone."
Stacy rolled her eyes. It was hardly the first time she'd had this conversation with Quinn.
"Why don't you move up here, Quinn?" Stacy suggested. "If you guys are so miserable in Lawndale then why not leave."
Quinn immediately fed Stacy the same tired old excuse.
"I can't. I have a life here. I'd have to transfer the kids to another school, Jim would have to pack up and leave. I can't uproot everyone else's life just because I'm sick of Lawndale."
"Quinn," said Stacy, "I happen to know that Jim and the boys have grown to dislike Lawndale just as much as you. I really don't think they'd have a problem leaving that place in the rearview mirror.".
Quinn countered "We'd have to find a new house and sell this one!".
"Just do what I did," said Stacy, "Put the house on the market and just leave. Let the realtor handle everything else. You could easily negotiate over the phone.".
"What about finding a new house?"
Stacy said "Quinn, Jane took us in while we went house hunting. Also, you're more than welcome to stay with us while you look for a place up here.".
"I don't wanna be a pain," said Quinn. "I'd rather ask that of family. Problem is, Daria's place is too small, Jim's mother is in Arizona, his father's an asshole and I don't want the kids near his uncle because Vito's the walking personification of a dirty old man."
Stacy sighed.
Meanwhile, at Deuce Hardware...
Quinn's husband, Jim, was at the checkout line with a new power drill. The clerk, a teenager who looked just like Kevin did at that age, recognized Jim.
"Hey, Mr. Carbone."
Jim sighed. Ultra Thompson was just as much of a moron as his father.
"Hey, Ultra." Jim placed the power drill on the counter.
Ultra's eyes lit up as he said "Whoa! A nail gun! Cool!".
Trying not to let his frustration show, Jim said "No, it's a power drill".
Ultra opened the box and took the power drill out. Leaving a mess on the counter Ultra next took the battery pack and attached it.
"You know," said Jim, "I don't think you're supposed to unpack an unsold item.".
Ultra said "Like, I'm a QB. I can do whatever I want."
Jim began to grit his teeth on reflex. Kevin was bad enough, but his son could drive even the most stable person to complete maddness.
Ultra pulled the trigger and watched the drill wheeze.
"Cool! How do you load it!?"
Rolling his eyes, Jim said "The drillheads are in the box. Now, before you hurt yourself or anyone else could you please put it back and ring me up.".
Ignoring Jim, Ultra reached into the box and got out the drill heads.
Visibly annoyed, Jim said "You aren't hearing a word I say right now, are you?".
Ultra confirmed this suspicion by attaching a drill head to the power drill. He then pulled the trigger again.
"Cool!"
Ultra pretended it was a gun.
"Like, stick 'em up!"
Running the power drill Ultra brought it up to the cash register and aimed.
"Gimmie all your money!" he said with a laugh.
"You finished?" asked Jim, who was rapidly losing his patience.
Ultra looked up. "You say something, Mr. C?"
Not paying attention, Ultra accidentally drilled into the monitor screen and recieved an electric shock.
"AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
He threw the power drill up into the air and when it came back down, narrowly missing Jim, it hit the floor so hard that it shattered into several pieces.
Once over the shock, Ultra flashed a goofy grin. "Sorry!"
Grinding his teeth in frustration, Jim could only think of one thing.
I HATE THIS TOWN!
Times Square, evening...
Amidst the light's and bustle was a small pub at the corner of 46th Street and Seventh Ave. Seated at a table inside the pub were Daria, Jane and Stacy. They were talking.
"...so when I ran into Stacy in the elevator I decided we could use a few drinks," said Daria.
Jane said "So that's why you called. Well, that and you knew I was probably bored.".
The trio would seem an unlikely group of friends at first glance. A staff writer who lives in Hells Kitchen, an artist who lives in SoHo and a TV news reporter who lives out on Long Island. After Stacy moved to New York with her family she discovered that she and Quinn's sister worked at the same TV station. While Stacy was an investigative journalist in the local newsroom Daria was a staff writer for SNL. Daria had also written a short lived animated sitcom about a misanthropic teenager for MTV. The two bonded over the fact that they both grew up in Lawndale, NJ and this soon resulted in Daria and Stacy being friends. Stacy wound up being Jane's friend by proxy. It amused her somewhat that the tow people she thought were creepy weirdos in high school were now among her closest friends.
"You know, Daria," said Stacy, "I spoke to your sister today.".
Daria asked "How is Quinn, by the way?".
Stacy said "Still complaining about being stuck in Lawndale".
Daria was not the least bit surprised. "Her kids don't like it either. In fact, last time they came up for a visit Teddy asked me to adopt him."
Both Jane and Stacy laughed.
Jane said "If you won't take him I will. I always welcome the opportunity to corrupt a fresh young mind.".
Stifling a giggle, Stacy said "You know, hearing you say that would've creeped me out ten years ago".
Jane said "You've come a long way, young padawan. Still, I don't get why Quinn stays in Lawndale if she's grown to hate it so much.".
Stacy said "I actually asked her that. She said she didn't wanna uproot Jim and the boys.".
Daria dryly remarked "Despite the fact that her kids don't like it either".
Without missing a beat, Jane said "And her husband hates it so much that he's in danger of becoming the next DeMartino.".
Daria looked thoughtful for a moment.
"I think the real reason Quinn stays in Lawndale is that she's afraid of change. She's worried that if she leaves she'll just encounter the same crap in a different place."
Stacy said "Maybe, but at least here she'd have people on her level who can help her deal. All she, Jim and the boys have in Lawndale are the Wangs and the Thompsons. The Thompsons are so dumb that it's wearing on everyones patients and the Wangs are stuck up jerks.".
"Now that you mention it," said Jane, "Chan is basically Lawndale's version of Kahn Soupanousahnphone.".
They all had a laugh over that one.
Meanwhile, back in Lawndale...
Quinn, Jim and their triplet sons Tommy, Timmy and Teddy, were at the kitchen table eating dinner and talking about their day.
Tommy, Timmy and Teddy were all in second grade. All three boys had the same reddish hair as their mother. While Tommy looked like he did in the 2017 EW article, Timmy was overweight and Teddy had thick-rimmed glasses similar to the ones Daria used to wear. Despite being triplets they all had individual personalities. Tommy was an active, outgoing boy who had inherited all of his mother's charisma. He had no trouble making friends with other boys and all the girls in their class had a crush on him. He was very intelligent but typically dumbed himself down in order to better fit in, just as his mother had at that age.
Timmy was a sensitive, curious boy. He loved to eat, hence his round build. He had some social graces, though nowhere near the people skills that both Tommy and his mother had. Timmy typically followed Tommy's lead and ran with the same social group.
Teddy, on the other hand, had neither the skills nor desire to make friends. Unlike his brothers Teddy didn't dumb himself down just to fit in. He was so much like his aunt, Daria, that Quinn sometimes caught herself wondering if she was actually Teddy's mother. Teddy's unwillingness to interact with others his age meant he typically spent recess reading on a bench and the weekends reading in his room. This resulted in Quinn and Jim frequently being called in by the school. Despite Quinn's frequent protests to the contrary the school was convinced that Teddy was a future mass shooter. Quinn knew this was not the case at all, but the school seemed to have deleuded themselves to thinking that this was just another case of a parent in denial.
"So," Quinn aksed, "How was everyone's day?".
Tommy said "The teacher called on me in class today".
"And...?" asked a genuinely interested Jim.
Quinn asked "Did you know the answer?".
"Yes," said Tommy, "But I gave a wrong one anyway.".
Quinn sighed as she recalled how she'd done the exact same thing all the way through her sophmore year of high school.
"Tommy," she said, "This is coming from years of experience. You really shouldn't pretend to be a moron just so the other kids will like you.".
Tommy responded to this the same way Quinn had when similarly lectured by Helen.
"But, Mom," he whined, "I don't want the other kids to hate me. I don't wanna be a weirdo loser like Teddy.".
"Tommy!" Jim scolded in an ominous tone.
Quinn said "Your brother's NOT a weirdo! He's an individual!" And I wish I'd understood that when I was your age.
Not wanting the conversation to turn into an argument, Jim asked "How was your day, Timmy?".
Timmy said "I got a titty twister from Shane Sloan after he laughed at my weight.".
"I hope you told a teacher," said Quinn.
Timmy gasped "No way! Are you crazy, Mom!?".
Tommy said "It's bad enough I have to deal with Teddy being a brain. I'd never live down Timmy being a rat!".
Teddy said "Since I keep coming up, I had the usual day. I gave a right answer everytime the teacher called on me, all the other kids made fun of me for it and I spent recess alone reading on a bench. Except when other kids wanted to remind what a freak I am, that is."
Quinn sighed. "How was your day, Jim?"
Jim said "Well, first I dealt with the idiots at the hardware store. Then, I dealt with the idiots at the gas station. Then, I tried to make an unboxing video for my YouTube channel but Chan showed up to brag about his high powered job at Grace, Sloan and Paige and talk down to me as if I were some worthless peasant. So, the usual.".
Quinn sighed.
"I got a call from Stacy today."
Jim's face brightened. "I wonder how my old buddy Chuck's doing. I really miss having the Ruttheimer's around."
Quinn let out a sad sigh. After this, she appeared to be deep in thought as a quote from Stacy played over and over in her head.
If you guys are so miserable in Lawndale then why not leave
The master bedroom, later...
Quinn and Jim were in bed getting ready to call it a night.
"Jim?" said Quinn.
"Yes, babe?" replied Jim.
Quinn asked "How would you feel if we just packed up and left this all behind? You know, start over fresh?".
Curious, Jim asked "What brought this on?".
Quinn said "Jim, all of our friends have left Lawndale for someplace more interesting. The ones who are still here are people we can't stand. I'm miserable and I can tell that you and the boys are miserable too. What if we just left it all behind and start over in a place where we have friends and family?".
Jim thought about this for a second.
"Well, my brother and Lindy left for California after they got married. Last I heard they're doing pretty well out there. My mother loves Arizona and your parents like it in Florida. We have your sister, Jane and the Ruttheimers in New York. Granted, my father and Uncle Vito are there too, but we can avoid them without much trouble. Also, we're self employed internet personalities so we wouldn't have to worry about employment, just take our jobs with us. I don't think the kids will miss this town. Tommy can make friends anywhere and Timmy and Teddy wouldn't miss anyone. "
Jim thought for another second before smiling.
"Let's do it, Quinn!"
Quinn smiled like a kid on Christmas morning.
"Thanks, Jim. I feel really good about this!"
She kissed her husband on the cheek. Afterward, she picked her I-Phone up from the nightstand. She dialed a number.
"Hey, Daria...Listen, I know it's late but I was wondering if I could come up this weekend...House hunting...Yes, Jim and I talked it over and we've decided we don't wanna live in Lawndale anymore...Looking forward to it."
Quinn then hung up.
"Jim, we're moving to New York!"
Jim loved the sound of that.
Act II
Daria's apartment, day...
Daria lives on the second floor of a five story brick building on 48th Street between 9th and 10th Avenue. The apartment was a one bedroom with a small bathroon and combined kitchen and living room, coming out to a total of three rooms. It was all she needed since her only live in companion was a black and white cat named Godzilla. Daria and Quinn were seated on the couch watching TV. Godzilla was laying on Quinn's lap purring affectionately as Quinn stroked his back. On the TV was a man beating the shit out of Satan against a fire and brimstone background.
TV Announcer: "He died and came back...AFTER KICKING THE DEVIL'S ASS! I Escaped From Hell, next on Sick, Sad World!"
As the TV cut to a commercial, Daria said "Strangely appropriate given the reason for this sisterly visit.".
Quinn replied "So, as I was saying over the phone, Jim and I are done in Lawndale and wanna start over. I mean, yeah, I came back after college. Thing was, I did that because Dad needed someone to run his business while he recovered from his heart attack and stayed because I met Jim and Stacy came back as well. I also still had friends and family in Lawndale. Problem is I don't have that anymore. All of my friends have left, our parents have left and Jim's grown to hate that town even more than we do. I figured it's high time for a change.".
"I get it, Quinn," said Daria, "In fact, I seem to recall us moving to Lawndale because Mom and Dad felt the same way about Highland.".
Quinn said "So, ready to go, sis?".
Daria said "I take it you've already gotten in touch with a realtor".
Rolling her eyes, Quinn said "Duh, Daria. You think I'm gonna do something this big without planning it out before hand?".
"Just checking," Daria said. "Let's go. This episode of Sick, Sad World's a re-run anyway.".
With that, Quinn lifted Godzilla off her lap and placed him on the cushin next to her. She and Daria then made their way to the door. Daria looked at her cat.
"You know the rules, Godzilla. No wild parties while I'm gone."
Quinn stifled a giggle.
A large office building in Lower Manhattan, later...
Quinn and Daria were at a place called "Empire Realty". They were meeting with a realtor named Cathy Stefano. Cathy was a slim, attractive and cheery brunette in her late twenties with her hair poofed out in a manner that can only be achieved with a highly flammable combination of mousse and aqua net. This caused Quinn to have the following thought.
1985 called. They want their hairstyle back.
Cathy said "It's nice to finally meet you in person, Mrs. Carbone." She then turned her attention to Daria. In a less than friendly tone she asked "And you are...?".
Rolling her eyes, Daria said "Daria Morgendorffer".
"Her assistant?"
Visibly offended, Daria said "Her sister. Although, you could just say I'm a distant cousin. That's how Quinn dealt with the embarrassment when we were kids.".
Quinn winced slightly. She still felt guilty about the whole cousin thing.
Turning her attention back to Quinn, Cathy said "Well, I've compiled a list of condos in the city. Unfortunately, only one of them is in your price range.".
A run down building in a VERY bad part of town, later...
Cathy was showing the place to Daria and Quinn. It was falling apart, the walls had bullet holes and there were rats and bugs everywhere.
"EWWW!" exclaimed Quinn.
Daria said "Why hasn't this place been condemned?".
Cathy just shrugged. At this point the sisters noticed something that only added to the discomfort. That something was chalk outlines on the floor. The floor itself was covered in dry blood stains.
"Um...Cathy..." asked a very nervous Quinn, "How exactly did this place wind up on the market?".
Cathy said "The previous owners were knifed to death by an intruder. That happens a lot in this neighborhood.".
Quinn looked at the wall behind the chalk outlines. What she saw made her gasp in horror. Whomever had killed the previous residents left the following message written in the victim's blood...
I'LL BE BACK!
Daria said "Let's try someplace else".
Cathy said "Sorry, but this is the only place within the price range I was given".
Finding her voice, Quinn said "I guess I can go higher".
A luxury high rise building on the Upper West Side, later...
Cathy was showing Daria and Quinn a beautiful condo with five bedrooms, three bathrooms, a large living room and kitchen with a breathtaking view of Central Park.
Impressed, Quinn said "Now this is what I'm talking about".
Smiling, Cathy said "Glad you like it, Mrs. Carbone". She eagerly thought about the fat comission she'd get for selling this one. Summer in Europe, here I come!
Quinn asked "And it has a parking garage? I ask because my husband's YouTube channel is a car channel.".
Cathy said "Of course. Not only that, but there's a full auto body shop just a block up the road. The guy who runs it would love to let your husband film there. He needs the free advertising.".
Quinn was totally in love with the place. "How about the schools?".
Cathy said "Public or private? I recommend the latter unless you want your boys falling in with a gang.".
"Minor detail," said a totally smitten Quinn, "I'm sold!".
"I'm not," said Daria. "What's this place cost?"
Cathy sighed as she realized she might not be getting that expensive vacation after all.
"Asking price is ten million." Desperate, she amended her statement with "But I'm sure we can haggle them down to eight million".
Quinn instantly soured on the place.
"Maybe a rental would be better."
The Upper East Side, later...
Cathy was showing Quinn and Daria another place. This place wasn't as nice as the one they were shown before but still good enough.
"Well," said Quinn, "I guess this means the boys will have to share a room".
Remembering the days of her and Quinn sharing a room as kids, Daria said "Say goodbye to a peaceful homelife, Quinn.".
Quinn turned to Cathy and asked "How much?".
Cathy said "Rent's five-thousand a month, plus another thousand for utilities. Also, you're looking at a ten-thousand dollar security deposit.".
Quinn's eyes went wide and her jaw dropped.
"Are you freaking kidding me!? The Sloan's mortgage is less than that and they live in a palatial mansion."
Frustrated, Cathy said "Quinn, what do you want from me?".
Quinn said "A decent place I don't have to be super rich to afford".
Pointing west, Cathy said "New Jersey's right over there".
Both Daria and Quinn frowned.
Little Italy, a short time later...
Daria and a very frustrated Quinn were eating pizza at an Italian eatery on Mulberry Street called "D'Angelo's".
Quinn asked "How is it that we can't find reasonably priced housing in one of the largest cities on the planet?".
Daria said "I ask myself that question every day".
Quinn said "You found a place".
Daria said "Quinn, I'm paid a quarter million a year to write jokes and all I can afford is a one-bedroom in Hell's Kitchen".
"What about Jane?" asked Quinn. "She has a spacious place in SoHo."
Daria remarked "She's also married to a tenured archaeologist who only makes as much as he does because he travels all the time".
Quinn said "How do people afford this town?".
"They don't," said Daria. "The overwhelming majority of New Yorkers don't live in the city. They commute from either New Jersey or Long Island."
Quinn got an idea.
"Let's talk to Stacy. Since moving to the actual city's out maybe she can give me a sense of what living close by is like."
Liberty Island, later...
While walking around the Statue of Liberty Daria, Quinn and Stacy were talking.
"I had to find out the hard way too." said Stacy.
Quinn asked "How long does it usually take you to get to the city?".
Stacy said "It's usually half an hour by car, except during rush hour. Then it takes about as long as driving back to Lawndale. Also, finding parking in Manhattan's a nightmare. That's why I usually take the train to and from work.".
Quinn said "So, unless it's rush hour about the same as going from Lawndale to Philly?"
Stacy nodded. "And the beach is a lot closer. Remember how long it took us to get from Lawndale to the shore?".
Quinn said "Usually an hour".
Stacy said "From Glenville to the ocean is only twenty minutes. Same amount to the sound. Trust me, it's a lot better to just live close enough to the city that you can easily commute. And, unlike back in Lawndale, you don't have to put a ton of planning into going someplace more interesting.".
Quinn said "So, I can still spend a lot of time with Daria and Jane even if I don't live in the city?".
Smiling, Stacy said "Of course. Chuck and I do it all the time. It's a bit late now, but how about tomorrow you come over to Glenville and I show you around.".
Hugging Stacy, Quinn said "You're a life saver!"
Act III
The next morning...
Music: "Trying To Get Out Of The City" by Ivy
Quinn's white Cadillac CTS Sedan was parked on 48th Street in front of the building that Daria lives in. Quinn and Daria emerged from the building and got in the car. As Quinn drove Daria gave directions from the passenger seat. They took 48th to 7th Ave. After turning right on 7th they actually passed through Times Square. That was slow going as even in the morning hours Times Square was full of pedestrian traffic. While Quinn was impressed Daria was her usual impassive self, mostly due to living only a few blocks away.
After Times Square they continued on until they reached 34th Street. Quinn was again impressed as this intersection was right by one of the most famous sport and concert venues in the world, Madison Square Garden. They turned left on 34th. After the first block they passed through Herald Square, aka Koreatown. A block later they were right by the entrance to the world famous Empire State Building. Another four blocks later was the entrance to the Queens-Midtown Tunnel. Quinn turned and entered the tunnel.
They emerged on the other side in Queens and were immediately at the toll booth that marks the beginning of the Long Island Expressway. As it was a Sunday ther ride through Queens was a smooth, fast one. As they continued east through the borough the scenery changed from urban to suburban. Soom, they passed by a sign that said "Leaving: Queens, Enter: Nassau County".
Over the next ten minutes the scenery grew increasingly suburban. Ten minutes after leaving Queens Quinn and Daria passed by a sign that read "Glenville, Next Exit". Quinn took the exit and turned right. Almost immediately after turning they passed a sign that read "Village of Glenville, Eichler Bay Township". After this they drove passed a sprawling shopping center called "Main Street Mall".
Soon, Quinn and Daria were passing through a residential neighborhood. Most of the houses were two story buildings that alternated between Tudor, Colonial and New England styles of archetecture. Finally, the car approached a white Cape Cod style two story house.
Pointing to the house, Daria said "This is it. 706 Kling Street.".
Quinn pulled into the driveway. Neither sister noticed the "for sale" sign in front of the red brick colonial right next door (hint hint).
The living room, a short time later...
Daria and Quinn were having tea with Stacy and her husband, Chuck.
For those who aren't familiar with the series "Quinn", Chuck is the man formerly known as Upchuck. After she helped him with his magic act in the Daria episode "Life In The Past Lane" Stacy and Chuck secretly became friends. A year later feelings of friendship had evolved into something more. Quinn first learned of this when she aciddentally walked in on them making out. It had been a spur of the moment thing. At the time, however, Chuck and Stacy decided they were better off just being friends and wrote the whole thing off as a one time lapse in judgment. Then came spring break. In college Chuck had found his footing and become quite the ladies man. Stacy ran into him in a hot tub with a group of beautiful women, all of whom were naked (along with Chuck). Once over her initial shock Stacy ditched her bikini and joined them. The combination of alcohol (and repressed desire for each other) led not only to another make out session but Stacy kissing a girl for the first time (and not the last). Things might have gone further had the other girls not distracted Chuck to the point where he forgot Stacy was there, prompting her to storm off in a jealous huff (she'd had a similar reaction when she found out that he'd lost his virginity to Andrea, but couldn't bring herself to admit that she was jealous).
Things came to a head on prom night. Stacy, not knowing that Chuck was back in town for the summer, had taken another guy to the dance. Thing's were fine until after the dance when the guy got fresh with her in the limo he'd rented. Stacy fought him off and made a run for it. While walking home Chuck miraculously drove by and saw her. They wound up spending the night at his house as his parents were out of town. Things between them escalated and they wound up out of their clothes and inside each other. After the first round of sex they decided to stop fighting it and accept the fact that they'd fallen in love with each other. After that, they spent the rest of the night alternating between deep conversation and passionate sex.
Chuck and Stacy were pretty much inseperable from that night on. They went to college together and after that returned to Lawndale. Stacy became a reporter with the local TV station while Chuck built up his home based computer business, Feisty IT. They got married. A few years after that Stacy gave birth to their first child, a boy that they named Charles Ruttheimer The Fourth and everyone called Chucky for short. Around the same time that Quinn and Jim had the triplets Chuck and Stacy had their second child, a girl who they named after Quinn and everyone called Q for short. At the same time, Stacy's journalism career went so well that she was offered a job at the flagship station in New York. The rest is history.
Now, they were in the living room talking.
"So," said Chuck, "You and Jim decided to move up here, huh?". After this, he went into his Upchuck voice. "Grrrrrr, gutsy!"
This elicited a friendly laugh from everyone else.
Quinn said "I spent all of yesterday looking for a place in the city. It was a nightmare.".
Daria added "The only affordable place was a death trap that seems to be a serial killers preferred target".
After taking a sip of his tea, Chuck said "That's the city for ya. Fun place to visit, impossible place to live".
Stifiling a giggle, Quinn said "That's exactly what Jim would say if he weren't back in Lawndale watching the boys".
"How is my old buddy, anyway?" Chuck asked.
"Looking forward to moving up here" said Quinn. With a sigh, she added "If I can find a place, that is".
Stacy reassured her friend.
"Don't worry, Quinn. I called a local realtor. She'll help us."
Both Quinn and Daria's eyes brightened at this prospect.
An office building in Glenville, a short time later...
Stacy, Quinn and Daria were seated in front of a desk. A smartly dressed and friendly blonde woman sat in front of them.
"Thanks for squeezing us in, Leslie," said Stacy.
Leslie replied "No trouble at all, Stacy". Leslie proceeded to look at her listings. "In fact, I have a place here that's perfect for you. Big house, five bedrooms, all for a total of $500,000.00."
That was the answer to Quinn's prayers as it was perfectly withing her price range.
"Let's see it" said a visibly excited Quinn.
Leslie stood up.
"Come on, it's a short drive from here."
Kling Street, a short time later...
Quinn's Cadillac, Stacy's Escalade and Leslie's car pulled up to the two-story red brick house next to Stacy's. All filed out of their cars. Stacy smiled while Daria and Quinn stared in amazement.
"How did we not notice this before?" asked Daria.
Leslie walked up to them.
"This is it. The house has been on the market for a while now. "
Stacy added "It's been vacant for almost a year".
Suddenly nervous, Quinn asked "Why?".
Stacy said "My old neighbor went down for a Ponzi Scheme. This house was one of the siezed assets. It's been sitting vacant ever since.".
Getting the house keys from her purse, Leslie said "Shall we".
Inside, a short time later...
Leslie was showing everyone around. After the front door was a hallway that ran down the center of the house and had stairs leading up to the secone floor on the left side.
Leslie said "The main hall".
She then led them to the first room on the right. This room had a large walkin closet and several power, phone, computer and cable outlets.
"The office" Leslie explained.
After taking a few seconds to take in the sight Leslie led them back across to the first room on the left. Once inside this large and empty room everyone looked at the chandelier hanging from the ceiling. Off to the right was a second dorrway that led directly into the kitchen.
"The dinning room" said Leslie.
Daria, Quinn and Stacy sontinued to look in amazement. Quinn was already imagining her formal dining table and other dinning room furnature in the place.
After this they followed Leslie into the kitchen. The kitchen was large with a walk in pantry, a electric stove and not one but two ovens. There was an electric oven under the stove and a gas/wood burning oven built into the wall on the right. On the left were the sink, dishwasher and space for the refridgerator. On the left wall was an open entrance leading to the main hallway. On the right wall was a closed door leading to the garage.
Leslie led them to the massive garage which, even filled with stuff, was big enough to park two cars, four if you put them front to back as well as side to side. Next to the kitchen door were hookups for a washer and dryer as well as a furnace for winter heating. The garage even had a back door leading to the back yard which had a patio but, unlike Quinn and Jim's place in Lawndale, no swimming pool or jacuzzi. Quinn, however, didn't see the need as they were only a short drive from the beach anyway.
"Don't be bummed," said Stacy, "You and Jim could come over and use our jacuzzi any time you want".
After this, Leslie led everyone back through the garage and into the kitchen. She led them to the last unexplored room, the living room. As they crossed the central hallway between the kitchen and living room Leslie pointed to a closed door by the back door.
"Downstairs bathroom."
They entered the living room. It was massive. Even fully furnished there was plenty of space to run around. At the rear was a massive fireplace. Quinn was falling more in love with the house by the second.
Later...
They were all upstairs now. At the top of the stairs they came out at the center of a hallway and could turn eithre left or right. Directly across from them was the upstairs bathroom. As they turned left they came to a storage closet at the end of the hall with a bedroom on each side. Going back to the other end of the hallway they found another bedroom after the bathroom as well as a fourth bedroom at the end that could serve as a guest room. The last door on the right led to the master bedroom.
Outside, after the tour...
They were all getting ready to leave.
"So, Mrs. Carbone," said Leslie, "What do you think?".
Quinn appeared to be mulling over the choice. This caused Stacy to worry.
"Come on, Quinn. It's a nice house, in a nice neighborhood. It's a short drive from both the city and the beach, it's got a top notch school district and it's right next door to Chuck and I. What's not to like?"
Smirking, Daria said "Don't worry. She just likes to do this for dramatic effect.".
Finally, Quinn made her decision.
"Sold!"
Lawndale, the next day...
Quinn, Jim and the boys were seated at the kitchen table. Quinn was showing them pictures of the house she'd just bought.
"So," she said, "What do you think?".
"Quinn, it's perfect" said Jim.
Teddy said "So, since it's the middle of the school year does this mean we'll have to either repeat second grade or endure summer school?".
Tommy and Timmy both froze in fear.
"Don't worry," Quinn reassured, "While I was up there I went ahead and enrolled all three of you in the local elementary school. We move up this weekend and you start on Monday.".
All three triplets breathed huge sighs of relief.
Jim could barely contain his excitement.
"No more Chan, no more Kevin, no more jerks who make me wanna take a toaster in the bath tub. Finally!"
Friday afternoon...
The Carbone's have just finished loading all of their possessions in a large moving van. Jim and Quinn had driven their cars up to the new house the prevoius day and rented the moving van while up there.
"There" said Jim as he closed the rear gate of the truck. "I can't wait to leave this place in the rearview mirror."
At this point, Chan Wang walked up to them.
"So sad, you go to New York."
He then smiled.
"Who I kidding!? This best day of my life. So long ginzo neighbor, white trash wife and stupid kid. HA HA HA!"
Jim and Quinn both shot him a dirty look. After this, a man in glasses and a business suit walked up to them.
"Mr. and Mrs. Carbone" the man said, "I'm Edward Ross, New Jersey Department of Corrections. I just wanted to thank you for the quick sale of this house.".
Walking up to Ross, Chan said "Chan Wang. I your new neighbor.".
Refusing to shake Chan's hand, Mr. Ross said "I'm not moving here".
Chan looked confused.
Smirking, Jim said "Didn't we tell you, Chan? We sold this place to the state.".
Grinning, Quinn said "They wanna convert it to a halfway house for recently paroled felons. Chan, your new neighbors are gonna be convicted murderers, rapists and thieves.".
Chan gulped with dread.
A short time later...
The moving van is driving up the road. The cab has both front and back seats, allowing the whole family to travel together. Quinn rode shotgun while Jim drove and the boys rode in the back.
"Take one last look, boys" said Quinn.
"Why?" asked Teddy.
"Yeah," Tommy added, "We're moving someplace a lot cooler.".
Timmy said "Yeah, New York's gonna be awesome. Maybe I can start working on my routing.".
"What routine?" asked Jim.
Quinn said "Timmy wants to be a stand up comedian when he grows up".
"I can be the next Chris Farley" said Timmy, "Except I'll be the first chubby comic to live past 35".
"Still," said Quinn, "We're gonna be leaving behind some fond memories. Yeah, Lawndale sucks but we still had fun when all of our loved ones lived here".
"Not really," said Teddy, "That's why everyone we give a crap about left".
Jim said "You know he's right, Quinn".
Quinn nodded in agreement.
At this point, they approached a sign that read "Leaving: Lawndale".
Exchanging grins, Quinn and Jim simultaneously rolled down their windows. As they passed the sign they both stuck out an arm and extended a finger. Quinn and Jim spoke at the exact same time as they gave Lawndale the one fingered salute...
"SEE YOU IN HELL, LAWNDALE!"
They continued on to New York.
I almost forgot. A few weeks later Chan said the wrong thing to the wrong guy and was savagely murdered as a result.
The End.
Next Time
Quinn and her family settle into their new life. We also get a detailed look at what Trent has been up to lately.
Author's note: This is the beginning of a whole new series.