Drug

Summary: Because you can try to tell me whatever you want, Alcohol is a drug and should be treated as so. People alcoholised should be given the same treatment that people with drugs are. I don't drink, I never did and I never will. Alcohol is something I totally and utterly despise. Fic written after what happened last Monday. Several of you asked if my father was violent. I hope this answers it

Spoilers: all the HP books and movies. If you don't know the books or movies, go read and watch them!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies, they belong to J. K. Rowling. I also do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Beta: none

Pairing: HP/LV

Warnings: Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Don't copy to another site, Writer isn't a Native English Speaker, Age Difference, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Male Slash, Suicidal Thoughts, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Dependency, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Emotional Manipulation

Ner words in this chapter: 790

Time change/Date of time

Change of POV

Vicious Cycle

Summer 1993

HJP's POV

When he showed up it was a miracle. A dream came true. It was all he had wanted. To suddenly have someone there for him. Someone who wants him.

At 13-year-old Harry hadn't even thought twice. He just hopped onto the motorbike's side-car and left his Muggle relatives behind. He didn't care he'd spend the rest of his life living on the road. He had a family now. Someone who wanted him for himself and nothing more.

But years in prison had taken it's stroll on his godfather.

–VC–

1997/98

Four years later they were all around the world while Harry did his self-studying home courses that Hermione kept sending him with the classes notes when they first hit. His godfather's mental problems. He didn't become violent. He just stormed at Harry for no apparent reason. Out of nowhere.

Not long after he was on his knees crying and holding Harry for dear life and asking for forgiveness.

Used to the Dursleys Harry didn't even think twice about it.

–VC–

2000/2001

Years passed and the problems started growing worse. With it come the alcohol. And with it? It wasn't just the mood swings. It was the magic decontrol. Harry didn't have a tutor. All he knew of magic was what he learnt in first and second-year. Everything else had been self-taught with Hermione's notes and school books. There was so much that he could do.

There was so much that a 20-year-old boy could do!

–VC–

Early 2005

At 24-year-old he arrived home from going to a local store to buy some food to find his godfather blacked out to the world after drinking his weight on Fire Whiskey.

Shit!

He picked his two-way-mirror and called Hermione, not caring anymore. He needed help. They needed help. Sirius needed help. Harry needed it.

Hermione managed to find him a clinic specialist who accepted hush money and wouldn't deliver Sirius to the Aurors and in a year he was as good as new.

–VC–

Early 2010

The problem with alcohol is… it is a drug and is always tempting you fulltime.

Not even four years of being sober he was back to it. And that's when his decontrol become obvious. He lost it to the point that 29-year-old Harry couldn't handle it anymore and had to literally overpower his godfather with his magic to stop the other's decontrol.

After that Harry had to run away for a couple hours. He couldn't handle it anymore. He just couldn't. Last time his godfather had brought Harry to the point of suicide. Harry had done his first planned tattoo instead of cutting himself. Instead of cutting himself he had paid someone to cut him. To cut his wrists and put ink into them.

Eventually by morning he calmed down and returned back. Sirius was back to normal as if nothing was amiss.

It was then that Harry knew. He had to leave. He had to get out.

One day the drink would be too much. One day Harry wouldn't be there to hold him. One day Harry would fall under the weight. There wouldn't be any ink this time. There would only be death.

Problem was, Sirius had made him live so much around him that Harry didn't have a life. He had no completed studies. He had no friends except miles away. He had no lover. He didn't even know what it meant to be loved.

A 29-year-old male almost 30 and yet… he had never lived. He had no idea what that word even meant.

Sirius was in a drug life and Harry was stuck with him. He was suffocated with him.

They were stuck in this horrible vicious cycle. Round and round. Over and over.

One that Harry knew he would never get rid of.

He loved his godfather way too much to leave him.

Leaving him would mean his death.

Staying would mean their death.

Well… 29 almost 30 was a good age as any other to die.

Yet… he wondered what having a lover there for him meant. What being loved meant. What having a child meant. He wanted to live.

Harry looked at his godfather smiling back in his dog-like way as he returned with a shopping bag with Harry's favourite food.

There was no way that Harry would ever leave him.

–VC–

LV's POV

Halfway across the world red eyes opened after his mind being overwhelmed with memories not his own.

(TBC)

This was written in answer to many worried reviewers on both FF and AO3 who questioned how I was last Monday during my 60 Years in a Summer's weekly post.

I've written several fics about my father's alcoholism, one being Breaking Point another being Pride. And the most known is Between Aurors and Dark Wizards

But this one is the one where I make my father's most believable. He isn't abusive. He just loses control of his body functions. He literally falls down and can't walk.

He was a P.E. teacher all his life and seeing my Superhero fall down like that made me fall down to the point of suicide (my fic where Harry gets fascinated with blood and Voldemort has to literally stop him being the example here)

The last case, on the 17 of February, made me realize that I really need to leave not just my parent's house, but my country. Because so long as I live close-by I will always be the one he turns to and asks to go with to do everything.

I don't have a life of my own. Where I go he follows. It was almost a war last Wednesday 19 February when I went to work and refused to let him come with me. He almost started to do his fake crying to make me feel like I am in the wrong.

I have 4 older siblings. (3 from father's first marriage, still siblings) All of them have children of their own. Yet is the youngest who stays with the father full-time.

I don't have a Voldemort on the other side of the world. I have an Aneue with who I am looking jobs and how hard it is to move from my country to hers while still being inside Europe. I cannot stay in here forever.

If I do I fear that he really will hit rock bottom again and this time there won't be Ink that saves me.

Next one-shot: Voldemort shows up? Who knows?

~Isys

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