Own Worst Enemy

Chapter 1

…..

"I'm sorry to disturb you… but you're Avatar Aang, aren't you?"

Aang looked up from the steaming cup of tea he was just bringing to his lips to see her standing by his table. Immediately, he froze, his teacup stopped mid-air, his throat feeling thick as he found it difficult to swallow. His gazed locked onto her beautiful blue eyes - eyes he had spent years exploring, swimming in their depths - to now see only naïve interest looking back at him. Of course he knew her. He knew her almost better than he knew himself. But she looked back at him with nothing more than bright curiosity.

Never mind that they had known each other since they were kids. Never mind that they had traveled the world together; that she had saved his life. Never mind that they had once been married…

Aang shook himself, trying to find his voice. Respond to her!

"Uhhh," he swallowed again hard, "yeah. That's me." He tried to force a smile.

"I thought so! I don't know what it is about you, but I knew you looked familiar!"

Aang began to panic as she pulled the chair opposite him out and sat down at his small table in Iroh's teashop. "I've heard that you know Iroh. I've just never seen you here before." She continued, throwing her long braid over her shoulder. "Every time I come to Ba Sing Se I try to spend as much time here as I can. And now that I've moved to the city… well, lets just say that I hope I can find some friends who aren't all middle-aged tea-making gurus (no offense to Iroh; he really is the best!)."

Aang felt his eyes begin to itch. Blink, you idiot! He blinked, trying to get some moisture back into his eyes after staring so long at this woman who he hadn't seen in years, but who nonetheless occupied his thoughts ceaselessly. He tried in vain to think what he should do next. Well for starters don't sit there frozen like a North Pole ice sculpture! He berated himself. He set his tea down and eloquently said, "Umm…"

"Oh! What am I thinking? I haven't even introduced myself! I'm Katara." She said with a bow.

Aang thought painfully, Yeah. Yeah, I know. Bowing in return and forcing himself to act as casual as he could manage he replied, "It's nice to meet you, Katara." Her name on his tongue felt simultaneously like honey and acid.

"You probably get strangers approaching you all the time. I guess you are pretty recognizable." She pointed to her own forehead indicating his arrow tattoo. "But oddly enough, it wasn't that that I thought I recognized. Something about your eyes… " She seemed to drift off for a moment.

Returning to herself, her words began to stumble over themselves, "And I'm sorry if I'm interrupting your tea! I have just heard so much about you, and we know so many of the same people… I guess I'm just surprised we haven't met until now. I guess I was just sort of drawn to you, like maybe we were meant to meet… or something…"

She looked away with a blush. A look Aang recognized with painful nostalgia. Inwardly he sighed as countless memories of her blushes ran through his mind.

He blushed himself as he steered his train of thought in another direction, clearing his throat and trying to calm his speeding heartbeat, "Yes, of course. Katara, was it? Yes, I know of you as well. One of the best waterbenders in the world, hero of the Hundred Year War! And sister to my… friend… Sokka…" He drifted off - so many things had become so complicated in recent years. And he wasn't sure how much she knew, where the holes in her memory were.

"Yeah, I'm always asking Sokka to tell me more about you! And with how much Sokka loves to talk, I'm always amazed at how little he's willing to expound when it comes to you. It's like he gets half-way through a good story and just stops, like he can't remember how it goes or is afraid to tell it or something. He's really an idiot sometimes. But like I said, I can't believe we haven't met before now – with all the ways our histories overlap."

"Yeah… crazy, right?" Aang couldn't think what else to say.

Katara smiled. "Well, it's about time we got to know each other too, I say!" Then turning around in her seat she waved to a server for another cup of tea. But as she turned her head around, Aang caught a glimpse of the long ugly scar that spidered up from somewhere deep in her hair at the back of her head to the front of her left ear, marring her otherwise perfect coco-colored skin.

His stomach lurched, he could taste guilt in his mouth. He swallowed again, hard. He couldn't think of anyway to respond.

Suddenly he found himself looking for the exit, wanting almost more than anything to get away from this woman because what he really wanted more than anything was to sweep her up in his arms and kiss her silly.

He stood abruptly, knocking the table and spilling his tea as he did so. "Yeah, well… I just remembered!," pointing at the door, "I really ought to go. I have my… flying bison… waiting for me. And he really hates it when I'm late… for our… uhhh… appointment, or something…"

"Oh" Katara said sadly as she rose as well, "I see… well I wouldn't want to keep you from Appa." A look of confusion suddenly furrowing her brow as she said the name again as if testing it on her tongue, "Appa. Appa… I mean, your flying bison… Is his name Appa? I guess I don't know how I know that. Must have heard it from someone… somewhere…" The confusion in Katara's expression made Aang's heart break. Yeah, I guess I'm running into some of those holes in her memory.

He had to turn away from her confused expression. So much about this interaction was painful; painful in a way he simply could not fully digest right now. But he knew the pain would come into more focus later. He could bet on it. More sorrow to spend his lonely nights with.

"Well it was nice to meet you… Katara…" The lie in the words tasted like betrayal and mercy at the same time. Better to leave her in ignorance. Better to leave her be.

They were both damaged. Me much more than her. He thought bitterly. He honestly envied her unknowing bliss. How he resented his perfectly intact memory!

Katara reached for his arm as he turned to leave. "Wait!"

Aang almost melted in the soft touch of her warm hand on his forearm. He reluctantly turned to face her again.

"Well, as I said, I've just moved here to Ba Sing Se and I don't know many people in the city. I hope that we will maybe see each other again?" He could see that she was nervous, that she was just asking for a friend.

But he also knew he was bad for her.

"Um," Aang looked down at the ground, not daring to look at her, not knowing how to answer without hurting her. Finally he looked up and smiled as he lied through his teeth, "Yeah. I hope I'll see you around."

Then he turned quickly and nearly ran from the shop.

But if I can help it, I'll never see you again… for your sake…

…..

Sokka had found him that day. He's not even sure how. He barely knew where he was himself.

"You have to go and find her. Bring her back!"

What? I thought she was with you… his silent look seemed to say.

"No, not that. We know where she is. It's her mind, her soul, or whatever. It's gone, Aang!" Sokka began to pace back and forth, "There is nothing more the healers can do. Because there is nothing wrong with her body – it's healed. But still," Sokka's eyes filled with water, but his teeth clenched in anger, "she just won't wake up!"

It was hard for Aang to register what he was saying. Sokka was the first person he had talked to in a while. He had been… where? He didn't know… ever since. He just now noticed that he was sitting in the dirt. And he was damp. It vaguely occurred to him that he hadn't eaten in a while…

"What," his voice was hoarse with disuse. He started again, "What can I do?" The words came out as almost a plea.

"You need to go to… wherever her spirit is, and bring her back! You owe her at least that much!"

I know. I owe her so much more than that.

…..

A/N: I hope you are ready for this – it's gonna be complicated and not-a-little angsty. I've got it all planned out. Let me know in the comments if you are interested to see more!