The stuff tasted awful, I got sick, had a headache, and when Darry found out, he grounded me for two weeks.
It's not a day I like to really think of. As Johnny and I walked home after school. We took many detours, mostly because Johnny and I liked to walk. We generally were quiet, stopping at stores and rummaging through magazines. Sometimes we stopped to get an ice cream or a Pepsi. As we walked near the numbered streets we ran into Curly. I had not seen him in months since he'd been picked up by the fuzz and sent to the reformatory. He looked taller than I remember, and his hair had been shaved to his scalp but his tough, yet friendly demeanor had not changed one bit.
"I don't think that's such a good idea Pony" Johnny had said when Curly asked us to tag along to Buck's. "You know Darry and he wants you to come straight home from school and he ain't too crazy about you being at Bucks anyway". Johnny was telling the truth; Darry had warned me about gallivanting around town without first talking to him. I swear that on weekdays he barely lets me out of the house, I don't know why, I do real good in school. "Well, Darry won't know if you don't tell him" I retorted. "We can be home before him anyway, come on Johnnycakes be a pal, come with me". Johnny sighed "fine, but only for a minute Pony. I don't want Darry hacked off at me". I smiled at Johnny; we were going to have a blast.
To tell you the truth, I had never been to Bucks before this time. Before mom and dad died, Soda and I weren't really allowed on this side of town. By the time I came around my parents had enough experience that they didn't sweat most things, but they still had some rules and not crossing into the numbered streets was one of them. Then after they died Darry didn't allow me to go anywhere but the movies, library, or school by myself. Even then, I had to ask Darry before I went and one of the gang usually came with me.
For some reason even if everyone else was going, Darry would not let me go to Buck's. One-time Dally had invited the gang over to celebrate his win on the ponies, Darry looked at me and Soda said "don't you two dare set foot at Bucks, ya hear". I had unsuccessfully tried to argue but Darry had threatened that if he found out I had been within one mile of Buck's, he'd skin my hide. I wasn't sure if he meant it, but he seemed serious, so I stayed home, and Soda went out with Sandy instead.
Even from the outside, I could see why Darry felt so strongly about me being here. Bucks was a ratty, run-down two-story bar on the seediest part of town. I saw some of the rougher greasers from the other outfits. I knew I'd be ok since these weren't exactly friends. They didn't know who I was so word wouldn't get to my brothers. The music was blaring, and it was twangy county music but I was too excited to complain. I really wanted to see what I'd been missing.
When I walked in, it was dark, and my eyes needed a while to adjust. The air was thick and smoky. A girl walked out of a dark room near the entrance, completely topless taking money from her hand and placing it in the waistband of her underwear. As she walked by, she gently touched my face. I could feel my face redden. I was still not much into girls and had not yet kissed one much less seen one without her clothes. I couldn't help but stare as she walked through the place unbothered by her lack of clothes. I looked at Johnny and he looked like I could have knocked him over with a feather. I guess this was new to Johnny too.
Curly called Johnny and me over to some bar stools where the guy behind the counter had placed three tiny cups with an amber colored liquid. Curly passed one of the cups to Johnny then handed one to me. I know a lot of kids in our neighborhood get blitzed every weekend, but the truth is I had never been offered any booze before. I was sure it was mainly because the gang knew Darry would kill them. I took the drink. I was curious so I smelled it. Not too bad I thought but when I tried drinking, it was awful. Curly saw the look on my face and laughed. "You don't sip " he said, between snickers "you chug it, like this". And he proceeded to swallow the entire contents in one shot. I did the same. It burned my throat something awful and Curly laughed at the face I made. He then promptly asked for more drinks. Johnny softly put his hand on my back and very quietly said "Pony, we should go". He placed the untouched glass on the counter when I promised him, we'd leave soon. The truth is, I don't know how long I'd been there, but the empty glasses were quickly piling up in front of us. Drinking didn't burn anymore. Actually, my face felt numb.
As I joked with Curly I felt a hard slap across the back of my head. With the way I was feeling, it knocked me clear off the stool. I confusedly looked up and saw it was Dally who didn't look too happy to see me. "Dally" I slurred in a voice that didn't seem my own. My brain felt muted and I couldn't think of anything else to say. I was having a real hard time getting off the floor. When I tried to pick myself up, the bar stool which was permanently fixed to the floor seemed to move.
Johnny helped me off the ground, but I was honestly wishing he hadn't. For the first time I realized just how much the world was spinning around me. As I held onto the bar for dear life Dally put his face within inches of mine and spat "do your brothers know you are here?" I couldn't say anything. I felt like I was teetering and had it not been for Johnny I would have fallen flat on my face. Dally took my silence as his answer and continuously cussed me as he pushed me by the back of my neck towards the door. I felt real unsteady on my feet, dizzy, like when you spin or when you get off a carnival ride. The only difference was that it didn't go away after a few minutes. As I reached the doors, I felt cold but also hot. I felt wobbly. I had goosebumps. I felt an unmistakable feeling so as my eyes met the sunset, I vomited outside the doors to Buck Meryl's while Johnny and Dally held me up.
When I was done, Dally threw me into the back seat of Bucks Firebird. "Stupid, what were you doing at Buck's anyhow" he asked. I could barely move much less speak as I was concentrating on not hurling again. I guess it was a rhetorical question anyway because when Johnny tried to explain Dally interrupted and just cussed at us the whole ride home.
Dally and Johnny had to help me up the stairs and into the house as I could not catch my bearings. Soda who had been sitting on the couch stood up looking worried but Dally said "man, he's just drunk". As they helped me lay on the couch, Soda quickly brought me a glass of water and a wet washcloth for my head. "Stupid here was over at Bucks taking shots with Curly" Dally said.
"Oh Pone, why'd you do all this " Soda asked gently while holding my head up so I could drink some water. "Imma take the kid here home" Dally said pointing at Johnny then added "I hope your big brother don't kill ya kid". Then they walked out slamming the screen door behind them. Oh God, Darry I thought.
I started to feel real spooked as I thought about Darry and how angry he would be. It's funny, I had known Darry would probably be real upset. I had known I'd get into trouble, but I hadn't really thought about it. I absently thought this must be why people drink. "Please don't tell Darry " I suddenly blurted out "he'll kill me for sure Soda". Soda kept gently rubbing my hair as he said, "I promise I won't tell him honey, but he's gonna be home real soon and I reckon he's going to notice". I felt awful, the room was spinning, and anytime I moved I felt like I would be sick again. I willed myself to sit up, determined to make it to my room before Darry got home. I'd just say I was sick. But as I finally sat up on the couch Darry walked in.
"Hey Dar" I tried saying but my words were still actively slurring. Anyone would have seen that I was sauced up. Darry instantly turned to face me with a look that went from startled to rage in an instant then said "please tell me you ain't drunk Ponyboy". Soda just looked at me sympathetically and put his arm around me. I felt hot tears welling up in my eyes. I really felt lousy.
I stayed silent as Sodapop tried to reason with Darry who was so furious he couldn't complete a sentence. "Darry, he feels awful already, can't this wait till tomorrow? Just let him sleep it off". I love Sodapop so much and he always sticks up for me with Darry. When Darry agreed I was thrilled because I hoped some time would soften the blow. "Let's get him to bed" he finally said to Sodapop. I didn't make it to my room, I detoured to the bathroom where I continued to be sick then spent most of the night dry heaving. If I thought it burned going down, it was worse coming up. I thought I would die.
I woke up on the bathroom floor with Soda leaned up against the wall beside me. "Soda" I whispered hoping not to alert Darry that I was up. "Hey Pone" he said drowsily "let's get you some aspirin for that headache you are probably sporting ". "No kidding " I said. He opened the medicine cabinet and as he turned to hand me the aspirins Darry walked in with a glass of water. My empty stomach flipped. "Thanks" I quietly said. "You two, get ready for school. There's breakfast on the table" he said. I wanted to protest because I felt awful. My head hurt, my throat hurt, my stomach hurt, and even after drinking water my mouth felt dryer than the Sahara Desert. But when Darry added "I will be here when you get home today and we are going to talk about last night" I knew I'd rather be at school.
Although I still felt sick, the end of the day came before I knew it. Johnny, Soda, Steve, and I began to walk home together. We had left Soda and Steve at the corner of Pickett and Main because they were going to work over at the DX. "Make sure you get straight home" Soda said "you don't want to make Darry any more mad than he is". I shrugged. I didn't think Darry could get any madder if I had robbed a liquor store.
Johnny and I walked quietly to the house. I was quiet as it was but when the only thoughts in my mind were about what Darry was going to say, it didn't leave much room for idle chatter. When I reached the front steps, my legs felt like lead. Oh boy, I thought I sure am in for it now. Darry must have been waiting for me because he suddenly opened the door said" hey Johnny, why don't you come over for dinner tonight. Right now, I need to have a chat with Pony here". Johnny nodded and gently patted me on the back as he walked away. "Get up here" Darry ordered and I quietly complied.
He was furious. If I had thought time would have cooled him off, I was wrong. That extra time let him simmer himself into a frenzy. "Start Pony. Please tell me why my 13-year-old brother came home drunk last night. I don't understand so start talking ". He was yelling so loud I was scared. Tears were rolling down my face and I impatiently wiped them. I knew if I opened my mouth I would bawl. "Now!" he yelled, and I jumped. Between sobs I said "I didn't mean to Darry. I'm sorry". I continued to cry as, I told Darry about meeting up with Curly and taking shots. How Dally had hit me then drove me home and how I had to hold on for dear life because I was so dizzy. I concluded with "I won't drink again. I promise. I swear Darry, I will never drink again". With an alarming calmness he asked, "where were you guys drinking?" Oh, how I wished he hadn't asked that. I thought about lying but knew Dally wouldn't lie to Darry for me, not about this at least. I squeaked "Buck's" so low that I did not think he could hear me.
Darry became enraged "did you say Buck's? I told you to never be caught near that place" he bellowed. I sobbed loudly as he reminded me what could happen if the state found out. How Soda and I would be placed in a boy's home. I was wishing Soda would come home but his shift was for another 4 hours. I really needed someone to get Darry to lay off. "Pony" he said "go to your room. If you won't heed my words, I am going to have to find another way to remind you who is in charge". I just wanted to get away from him and was crying too much to understand what he was saying.
In my room, I had laid in bed and cried myself out. I was finally calm when Darry came in an hour later. He started "you are grounded for two weeks for the drinking. School and your room, that's it. No movies, no television, no one from the gang is to come over. No phone. Homework, eat, then sleep, that's all you get." Two whole weeks I thought. what a drag. That meant I couldn't watch the new Paul Newman movie this weekend. "Ponyboy, do not let it happen again" he warned. I nodded in agreement.
After a moment of silence, he continued "I told you what I would do if you ever went to Buck's". He had a solemn look about him and I was really racking my brain because I couldn't remember what he had said about Buck's. He looked calm and resigned as he spoke. "There's all sorts of things going on there that ain't fit for a little kid like you. The fuzz keep an eye on places like that and had they picked you up..." he added as he went for his belt buckle. At that point it all became clear. No way, I thought. No one is whupping me. No siree.
I stood up quickly, aiming for the door. We both knew he couldn't catch me if I made it because I was the fastest runner in the house. Darry was prepared for me and grabbed me by the wrist. In one swift motion he was sitting with me draped over his knees.
I felt real panicky now. I tried to get up, but he had a tight grip around my waist. *slap* I felt his hand hit across my backside. "Stop" I pleaded as I felt another strike against me. "Please" I begged as an onslaught of blows landed on my rear. "We'll start when you calm down and stop moving" Darry said. Start, I thought I would have figured we were done by now. I obediently laid across his lap as he said "this is for deliberately disobeying me. Pony, that was dangerous" I was sobbing uncontrollably. I couldn't believe what was happening. "I specifically told you not to never set foot at Buck's and you did it anyway." he added. He picked up the belt and I started pleading with him "please Darry not the strap. Your hand hurts plenty. Honest". He shook his head and gruffly said "No pony, and if you don't cooperate, it will be worse for you". With that remark I heard the sound of the belt hitting against my jean clad bottom. "Please, I won't do it again" I begged over and over. He never wavered and the lashes came down hard and swift. If you don't think it hurt, you are crazy.
By the time he was done I ached. Darry helped me up on my feet and into bed. "I hope I never have to do this again" he said quietly as he rubbed my back. "Just know I will if I have to" he added his voice sounding awfully gentle. I just cried. Here I was, a 13-year-old greaser and I had just been spanked by my brother like a 6-year-old. I was so embarrassed. I just couldn't take it.
I must have fallen into a deep sleep because when I woke up, I could hear loud laughter and the guys knocking things over in the living room. I felt starved but didn't want the guys to tease me, so I stayed in bed reading a book. Soda walked in and closed the door behind him. "Hey Pony" he said softly "I've been checking on you, but you've been out cold for hours. How you feeling?". Tears started again. "Hey there" he said as he wiped my face "he didn't hurt you too bad did he" Soda asked. I guessed Darry must have told him and my face reddened. "Don't sweat it kid" he grinned. "Me and dads' belt were close buddies when I was your age". I couldn't help but grin at him. I don't know how he does it, but Soda understands everything. We just sat there silently for a while, my head on Sodas lap and he gently rubbing my hair. Darry eventually poked his head in the door "Soda the guys are going to the Dingo. You going?". Soda shook his head "not tonight " he said as he messed up my hair.
I heard the screen door shut and silence in the living room. "You hungry" Soda asked. "Starved" I said truthfully. I had felt so bad that I had not been able to eat breakfast and was so exhausted during lunch that I laid my head down until the next period. He grinned and jumped off the bed and ran out of the room and came back with purple spaghetti and blue mashed potatoes. I ate quietly while he told me about his day, Sandy, and how he had taken apart an engine with Steve. By the end of the night he had me laughing in spite of myself.
While I was smoking by the window, Darry came in later that night " it's time for bed Pony" he said. I nodded, not yet ready to talk to him. I put out my cigarette and I walked towards the bed crawling under the covers without making a sound. "I'm sorry kiddo" he said quietly adding "I am responsible for you now". I quietly faced the window as Darry turned off the light. Soda who had been sitting on the bed put his arm over me. "It's ok" he said drowsily then fell asleep quickly. I couldn't sleep. I kept thinking how during the car accident I lost my parents and although Darry was here, I also lost my big brother.