He can't believe he's actually showed up to this stupid fucking bar, to see people he hardly wants to see, to talk about shit he doesn't care about. He can't even go outside to smoke because there's no patio and it's been raining harder than it has in weeks. His leg is jiggling under the table, the fingers of his left hand are curled into a fist on his thigh, and his right hand is clutching at a glass of seltzer water and lime.

Adam is fucking tense.

The longer he sits on this uncomfortable stool, listening to Hannah go on and on about how much motherhood actually sucks, Marnie smiling wide and fake as she tries to assure everyone that raising a baby is actually beautiful, the closer Adam comes to bashing his fucking skull against the hard grain of the table. All around him is noise. Useless fucking noise. No one has anything substantial to talk about, everyone is just complaining about the same shit. It's been over six months since he's seen most of these people, with the exception of Ray, and almost nothing has changed.

At least Jessa isn't here. He can count that as a win.

No one knows why she hasn't shown, Adam can take a guess, but no one seems too concerned. Jessa's pissed a lot of people off and her absence is a welcome reprieve. All they want to know is how Adam's relationship with her ended, and they hound him with questions until he literally growls at them. They've only been apart for a month and he doesn't feel like talking about it.

Nosey little shits.

He's not sure why he's even agreed to come here. When Ray called him and told him they were all meeting since Hannah and Marnie were in town, Adam actually laughed until he realized that Ray was serious when he extended that invitation to him. He outright refused at first, ultimately deciding to come because it's safer to be around these people than alone right now. That, and because he honestly doesn't mind Shoshanna. She's strange and unusual, and he finds her to be far more tolerable than the other girls in his life.

In fact, he wishes that Shosh was the one telling stories of her grand adventures in Japan, or maybe sharing some of her naughty stories from her recent honeymoon in Thailand. Adam isn't picky, he literally prefers anything over Hannah continuing to drone on about some problem with her nipples and, what? Latching? What the fuck is latching?

Adam groans and bites the inside of his lip to keep the noise distilled, a laugh ringing sweetly near the bar drawing his attention as he sits forward, resting his chin against his clasped hands. He locks onto the culprit of the laugh immediately, his breath catching in his throat and forcing a hard swallow. She's stunning, the most beautiful creature Adam has ever seen. Dark hair hangs in loose waves, resting just above her slender shoulders and framing her perfect oval face. She's laughing, full pink lips pulled tight over pearly teeth and the most adorable dimples he's ever seen.

It feels magnetic, his draw to her is almost painful it's so immediate. When she turns her head to him and their eyes lock, Adam thinks his heart just might beat out of his chest. Her grey eyes piercing straight through him send an electric jolt straight to his core. Her long eyelashes frame the stormy orbs, accentuated by a smokey eyeshadow. She holds his gaze, blinking a few times before bringing her drink to her mouth. She bites the tip of the straw, effectively drawing Adam's gaze to her pout.

Was it possible to fall in love with someone without even knowing their name?

"Adam!" He startles a bit, tearing his eyes away from the beauty at the bar and glancing around the table. "Are you okay? I said your name like three times." It's Hannah, of course, her mousey face screwed up with concern. Maybe it's an annoyance. Knowing the girl, he's leaning toward the latter.

He clears his throat, throwing a glance back toward the bar before, "yeah. Yes. I'm fine. What do you want?"

"I'm sensing some hostility; did I say something wrong?"

He stares at her for a second too long, confused. "What?" He squints, vexed.

He glances back toward the bar; the raven-haired girl is standing now, hugging her friend, and he starts to panic. No, no! She can't leave, not before he talks to her. She has to feel it too, right? This can't be a one-sided zing of an emotional draw. There's no way she didn't feel it when their eyes met. He needs to know; they shared a real connection, crazy as it may seem, and now she's about to disappear from his life forever.

Adam hears Hannah on his right complaining, hears Marnie telling him that he's being rude and has been for most of the night. He hears Ray and Shosh stick up for him, and Hannah bitching about something else. He knows they're talking to him and about him, but right now all he can focus on is this dark angel before she's gone. He doesn't know her name, or where she's from, or how she tastes; all things that Adam needs to know. He feels feral, instinct taking over as she slides the denim over her shoulders.

His heart tells him to follow her, not let this one go. He's never felt so primal; connected to someone so immediately and he'll be damned if he doesn't at least find out this woman's name. He's always one to follow his heart first, brain second; unless his dick is involved then he usually follows that first.

Adam thinks maybe this time is a combination of all three.

"Are you even listening?"

He isn't sure who's asked, but he mumbles a quick "no" before he jumps up from his seat, his eyes never leaving her as she ducks out of the door to the bar. He grabs his jacket and rounds the high-top. He hears them call for him, cuss at him before once again Ray offers an apology on his behalf. Adam really wishes he hadn't done that because he isn't sorry, but whatever. He supposes they'll still invite him next time, regardless. He's done a lot worse and they still keep him around.

It's still raining when Adam leaves, looking both ways but not catching any sight of his girl. Shit, she must've already caught a cab. His heart sinks, the water beating down on him and soaking his hair. He hardly feels it. He's lost his chance, a hole opening up that he hadn't even known was there. He was so close to whatever that was, the potential dying with every second he doesn't see her.

"Fuck," Adam mumbles, teeth gritting. "Fuck!" He screams a second time.

He starts walking toward the subway, absolutely fuming that he has to take one at all. Marnie had all but insisted they meet in Manhattan, for whatever reason, and now he has to ride a shitty underground train for 45 minutes soaking fucking wet and heartbroken. He can turn around and head back inside, but that is absolutely the last thing he wants to do.

So off he goes, into the great abyss that is a New York City Saturday night.

He's angry. He let her slip right through his fingers. He supposes he can go back to the bar every night until he runs into her again, but that doesn't seem healthy…but…no, no. He can't do that. Adam tells himself he has to accept that she's gone and he's missed his shot. This is exactly the kind of shit that always happens to-

"-shit!"

Adam gasps, his thoughts cut short when someone grabs his arm and yanks him under the awning to a closed convenience store. He spins, prepared to throw his fist against whoever it is he's positive is about to mug him. He's been mugged only once before when he had first moved to New York ten years ago and he's learned since then to defend first. It probably isn't the smartest approach, but it's what he has.

Then he sees her.

She doesn't even flinch, holding her hands up in surrender as Adam stops himself just in time. He fights to calm the shake that's taken over, adrenaline strumming through his veins as he watches her face glow orange when she brings a cigarette to her mouth. The grey in her eyes catches the hue and glows like the ember on the end of her stick. She smiles at him then, blowing out a solid stream of grey smoke as she holds her pack out to him.

"I almost punched you in the face," he tells her, taking one of the cigarettes from her pack and digging out his lighter. There's only a little tremble to his voice left, betraying his tough demeanor.

"Mm, but you didn't," she replies. Her voice is smooth and slides over Adam like silk, settling in his groin. He reprimands himself inside his head for immediately wanting to seduce her.

"No." He holds her stare as he lights his own cigarette, and he almost grins when her eyes flit to his mouth and back up to his dark eyes.

"Are you following me?" She asks boldly, nibbling at a bit of skin on her lip to keep herself from grinning.

He could lie, and tell her he was leaving before she had decided to go but that seems stupid. He doesn't want to start this with a lie. In fact, Adam has this strong sense that he never wants to lie to her. So instead he nods his head, taking a drag off his smoke to keep his mouth busy.

"Why?" She challenges him.

"Why'd you grab me?" He shoots back, smirking when she breaks their eye contact first.

"Same reason you're following me, I bet."

"Because you're a fucking creep?"

She laughs, the same melodic sound that had drawn his attention in the first place. He smiles at her, genuine and warm, the feeling spreading through his limbs and chasing away the cold from the rain seeping into his bones. He's glad she laughed. It means her humor is like his.

"Makes two of us, huh?" She quirks a brow, confirming Adam's previous thought about her humor, puffing away the last of her ciggy before snubbing it out with the tow of her combat boot.

He lets out a quick guffaw, agreeing with her.

"What's your name, creep?" She asks, wrapping her coat tighter around her. For spring, it's a rather cool night and the rain doesn't help at all. He's used to it though; New York isn't known for its beautiful weather.

"Adam," he tells her. "What's your name, double creep?"

She bites her lip again, face splitting into a grin before she answers, "Nina."

"Nina," Adam lets her name roll around on his tongue, tasting it like a fine whiskey. He loves it more than he's ever loved anything before. He can't explain it to anyone, but when she repeats his name back to him, he almost collapses from the weight of it. "Where you headed?" He asks her, finishing his own cigarette and flicking it out into the rain-slicked street. It doesn't even spark.

"Sunnyside, near Calvary."

"Queens?" He can't believe his luck! He'd thought she was from Manhattan, which would've made it significantly more difficult to date her. Which, if he's being honest, is exactly what he's trying to do. Rebound be damned. "I'm near Greenpoint, right across the Newton."

"Oh, Brooklyn boy huh?" She teases.

"Impressed?"

"Absolutely not."

He can't help the laugh that escapes, a common thing that seems to be happening in the few minutes he's spent with Nina. He hasn't felt so good in a long time. His cheeks are actually starting to hurt. "That's fair."

"So, Adam," Nina tilts her head. "I would love some company on the train if you're headed that way."

"I, uh, yeah. I'm heading home," he glances out from under the awning. "It's still raining pretty hard though."

"You afraid of getting wet?" She takes a step toward him, and for the first time, he's able to get a real idea of her height. She's taller than both Jessa and Hannah, but he can still fit his chin comfortably against the crown of her head if he wants…and boy does he want to, the provocation in her question fueling the fire burning in his belly.

"Are you?" Adam doesn't miss a beat, earning him a quirk of her brow and a small gasp.

"Come on then," she reaches for his hand, her voice low as the heat between their palms is almost hot enough to catch fire. "Run!"

"Huh?"

She yanks him out into the rain, breaking into a sprint as the cold drops patter against them. She keeps her grip on him, feet pounding against the wet pavement below. They run together, smiling against the weather as they weave through the ever-present crowds of New York City, weather be damned. Adam is sold, the world slowing down around him as his focus becomes centered on Nina and the way her megawatt smile lights up everything they pass.

"What's your biggest fear, Adam?" Nina asks him almost 40 minutes later, her damp head of hair is resting against his shoulder as the train rambles on.

They've been chatting for a while about most things, settling against the seat of the old beaten subway car. Her head found his shoulder almost immediately and he's tucked her arm into his in an attempt to be even closer. That didn't work so well because she becomes animated, talking with her hands when she's passionate about this or that.

He adores her.

Talk comes easy, either one of them offering their opinion on such and such or what have you. He's been aroused since her first question wasn't the usual "where are you from?", "what's your favorite color?", or "do you have any siblings?" small talk that he hates and is horrible at. Instead, she fires off with "do you believe in God?" almost immediately, and his interest piques immensely.

Adam has to bite his tongue to keep himself from telling her he loves her.

"Used to be dying painfully," he tells her earnestly, shivering a little at the thought, "then my niece was born and losing her took priority."

"What's her name?" She snuggles closer.

"Jessa-Hannah," he winces, "but we all call her Sample because she's sample-sized."

"Jessa-Hannah," she repeats. "Interesting name-"

"-I fucking hate it," Adam snaps, his tone strains and his jaw clenches, a twitch giving him away. It still annoys him that Caroline named her daughter after his ex's, which is partly why they started calling her Sample in the first place. Nina turns her face up at him curiously. He doesn't want to have to explain all of that now, but her eyes draw it out of him. "They're my ex's names. I just, I can't…I'm sorry."

"For what?" She implores, shifting to face him even more.

His eyes dart around her slender face, expecting her to yell at him for some reason and realizing that he's so used to the yelling, her being so calm at the mention of his ex is confusing. "I don't- I don't know."

She smiles at him sweetly, leaning toward him. He thinks she's going to kiss him and he stops breathing, but instead she brushes a wet piece of his hair from his forehead with a featherlight touch of her fingers. "I don't care about your ex's," she whispers, close enough that her fruity breath ghosts his skin. "We don't have to talk about them. I'd much rather keep talking about our fears, and life, and how we love and are loved..."

Adam stares at her, unable to form words. All around him are other people and noises. He's inside of a metal can, racing through tunnels of concrete with dozens of strangers coughing, talking, sneezing, singing. There's even an older gentleman snoring loudly a few seats behind them, but all he sees is her. All he hears is her, everything disappearing as their eyes hold and they sway lightly from the movement of their transportation.

Then the swaying stops, and the world crashes back into place and jolts him out of his daydream. Everything moves fast again, growing louder as this person and that person began shuffling around, crowds waiting on the curb just outside his window.

"This is me," she tells him, effectively drawing his attention to her as she flashes a smile and stands.

He panics as she rounds the seat, realizing he has no way to contact her after this.

"How do I see you again?" He blurts, watching as she digs through her bag, producing a purple pen and reaching for his hand. He promptly gives it to her when she reaches, not hesitating at all.

"Call me, of course," she tells him as she scribbles her phone number across his palm in a sparkly purple gel. Adam shivers when she blows on the ink to dry it quickly.

He looks away for a second, it can't be more than two or three, as he pulls his hand back and glances at the scrawl on his palm, thinking about how hard it's going to be for him to not let this wash away in the rain. Of all the days he's forgotten his phone at home, it has to be this day. That's his luck. It's also his luck when he looks back up, she's gone, replaced by faceless strangers as they file onto the train.

His heart beats wildly against his chest, looking around so he can at least wave goodbye to her. What if he fucks this up? What if he loses the number, or something happens and he never sees her again? Could this be a fake number? What if this is all pretend? Adam feels panicked and he hates it. This isn't him. He's terrified of never seeing Nina again and he hasn't even given her a proper goodbye…

Then she's was there, kneeling over the seat in front of him and grabbing the back of his neck.

Their lips meeting feels like waves crashing against rocks, pushing and pulling, wild and wet as the universe bursts open behind Adam's closed eyes. She tastes like cherries as her tongue sweeps over his, gently savoring the moment. All the air rushes from his lungs, out of his nose in a hot stream. He knows that as he kisses Nina, his mind is becoming melded and attached to the idea of them. Not just them in a casual sense, but the idea of them being more than friends, more than lovers. All of the emotional electricity that's cackled between them sparks into a flame of passion and sets them both ablaze right there on the subway.

She's breathless for a second when she pulls away, her chest moving up and down as she blinks against the harsh light overhead. "Wow," she finally whispers, staring into him. "Please," her voice is quiet, "don't forget to call me."

"I won't," he tells her, leaning forward to press against her once more before she disappears through the doors just before they slip shut.

Adam swallows hard; his lips stung by the kiss that lasted no more than a few seconds but had stopped time for what felt like hours. The world tips upside down but actually feels right-side-up for the first time in maybe ever. He's never felt like this and by the way she had looked at him, he's almost positive she feels the same. This isn't about wanting to fuck her, though he's opposed, rather he feels connected to someone in a way he's never known is possible. All the self-doubt he's felt just moments ago are all laid to rest as the train pulls forward.

All he wants to do is jump up, yank the doors open, run to Nina and never leave her side again. He's pushed people away before, he's come to terms with being left and also leaving. He's been lonely and content at times. In fact, he's sometimes preferred being alone. When he's alone, he can't be hurt. Being alone is safe. But he has the sudden realization that he doesn't want to be alone anymore, and he never wants to be alone again.

He wants to be with Nina, always.

Adam spends the rest of his train ride smiling at his palm and memorizing the number, just in case.