"This is not what it looks like, Boss, Well... I suppose it is what it looks like, but not fully. It's not fully what it looks like. I'd estimate that it's about seventy percent of what it looks like. But that's an over estimation - it's more like sixty five-"

"DiNozzo!"

"Shutting up, Boss."

The conference room fell quiet. Gibbs crossed his arms and stared his Second-in-Command down with a steely gaze for just long enough for the predictable fidgeting to begin. Not that Tony would ever know it, but he had to bite his lip to stop the grin he felt threatening when the kid furtively tried to clean remnants of tomato ketchup from his upper lip.

The annual prank war between he and McGee was nothing new and usually, he saw no harm in it. But when this seasons prank war escalated in McGee walking into the squad room to find his partner writhing on the ground with what appeared to be blood pouring from his mouth, enough was enough. Particularly in circumstances where a shrieking Leon Vance saw the whole thing from the squad room balcony and witnessed first hand a shocked McGee calling for an ambulance whilst vitally urgent suspect results were being ignored on the plasma. Leon, quite rightly, had read Gibbs the riot act and ordered him to get his house in order or else. He also ordered him to reimburse the NCIS canteen for the ridiculous amount of tomato ketchup that Tony had pilfered for his prank.

"DiNozzo," he said quietly. "What color is my hair?"

Tony stared in alarm at the question. There could be no correct answer, of that he was sure.

"Boss?"

"You heard me. You really don't want to irritate me any further right now so answer me,"

Tony swallowed. Hard.

"Uhh... well, it's a bright shade of white I suppose. A very dignified shade of white if you don't mind my saying. Really in this year. Totally vogue, as the kids say. Not... not white as in old man white, more like white as in Snow White. Not that you're a woman, Boss! I'm not... I mean... there's nothing wrong with having feminine features. Not that you have feminine features! But... uhh..."

Gibbs rolled his eyes.

"The point is, it's white. It's white and it doesn't need to be getting any whiter. You two are putting years on me. I can do without this. I can do without having my ass handed to my by the Director because my two senior agents are part time investigators and part time idiots! Damnit... the last time this thing got out of hand I tore the two of you up and you promised me you'd never let it get out of hand again... yet here we are. I don't mind you two having fun when it's not impacting the job or your partnership. Your stunt did both of those things and you know it. The question is, what do you have to say about it?"

Tony dropped his head and stared at the ground.

"That's my bad, Boss. Won't happen again."

"Uh huh," said Gibbs dryly. "I've heard that one before. Now, McGee is just as much to blame for this as you are and I will be dealing with him, so don't even think about whining that you're catching all the heat."

Tony looked up, suddenly aggrieved.

"I wasn't even going to say-"

Gibbs raised a knowing brow.

"That's my bad again, Boss,"

Gibbs rolled his eyes. The paddle in his right hand was well worn but still highly effective. Gripping the handle, he looked questioningly at the younger man in front of him and steadfastly ignored the pleading look in his eyes,

"Drop the puppy dog eyes, kid. You know better."

Tony sighed. He did know better.

"Now... I'm giving you a choice. You can either bend your butt over that table for twelve richly deserved pops of the paddle or you can ride your desk for a week. You have ten seconds to think about it and choose,,, starting now,"

Tony's eyes widened. He never got a choice. As he thought about it, using three of his ten seconds, the decision was made. The thoughts of staying behind when everyone else was told to gear up was just too unbearable. Besides, the last time he'd gotten desk duty... which was so long ago he could barely remember, he ended up getting his butt worn out for being so annoying while serving his time.

He wasn't going to risk double jeopardy again.

"Twelve pops, Boss."

Gibbs nodded approvingly. The last thing he wanted was to be down his SiC in the field.

"You're very familiar with the position. Move your butt,"

Tony groaned and moved slowly towards the edge of the shiny mahogany table. He had kissed this table's surface far more times than he cared to recall. As he bent over and placed his torso flat on the table, gripping the sides with his hands, he thanked God he'd remembered to make a tray of ice last night. They wouldn't be there for his mojito tonight, but there'd be there for his roasted butt.

Gibbs' sharp sigh of exasperation cut through his thoughts.

"DiNozzo... I'll give you five seconds to get up and do what you know full well you're supposed to, before I treat you exactly like how you're acting and put you over my damned knee!"

Tony squawked and scrambled up. His fingers flew to his belt and he made short work of unbuckling it and pulling down his trousers. With marked reluctance, he also yanked down his shorts and bent back over the table trying to ignore the cool breeze on his now bared ass. He should have known Gibbs would call him out on trying to retain some padding and some dignity.

The firm hand landed on the small of his back and the paddle rested against his butt.

"Why are you getting this paddling?"

Tony groaned into the table.

"For being an idiot, Boss... I am a senior federal Agent, not an idiot."

Gibbs grinned and reaching over, tousled the dark mop of unruly hair.

"Nicely put, DiNozzo. Now, let's get this over with..."

The paddle cut through the air as only a well worn paddle can and landed with marine precision on the tender curve of Tony's sit spots. The corresponding squeak of pain was to be expected and was soon replicated as the paddle rose and fell again and again. By the time the eighth and ninth swats were delivered, Tony began to squirm under Gibbs' hand... and squirm vigorously."

"DiNozzo... what is one the most important parts of a punishment?"

Tony's voice was strained and muffled, but his answer was immediate.

"Accepting it, Boss..."

Gibbs nodded and tried to ignore the fire engine red color of his SiC's behind.

"Exactly. So stop squirming and stay in position or I'll add extra."

Tony gulped.

"Squirming over, Boss."

The remaining three swats were delivered in quick succession and true to his word, Tony stayed in position and compensated for his stillness with additional hissing. Setting down the paddle, Gibbs rubbed his hand over the young man's back for a moment before moving away and looking out the window so that the kid could comport and redress himself. When he turned around again, Tony was upright, dressed and rubbing his scalded behind with a rueful grin.

"That hurt, Boss."

Gibbs chuckled and walked forwards to ruffle a hand quickly through the kid's hair.

"I know, DiNozzo, but guess what?"

Tony looked at his mentor curiously.

"What?"

Gibbs put on a pained expression and placed a hand over his heart.

"It hurt me a lot more than it hurt you."

Tony scowled.

"You are not a funny man, Boss."

Gibbs' answering retort was cut off when the conference room door was suddenly thrown open and a haggard looking McGee spilled into the room. Gibbs and DiNozzo raised identical brows and the youngest of the three looked at them aghast.

"Boss, please don't punish Tony for this. I started it this time, I really did and..."

His words cut off when he spotted the paddle on the table and the tell tale delicacy of Tony's stance.

"Yeah, you're too late to rescue me McTardy... but thank you nonetheless."

Gibbs interjected before Tim could respond.

"He sure is, but he's right on time to bend his butt over that table for his own medicine. Tony, you're done here. Off you go and head home. McGee..."

He crooked his finger at the paling MIT grad.

"C'mere Elf Lord. You got some explaining to do."

...

My NCIS people! Hello, hello, hello... it's been an outrageously long time. However, the current situation with COVID-19 has resulted in some down time for me and I was inspired to start watching NCIS again from scratch. Currently reveling in the golden era of Tony, Tim & Ziva and the early days relationship between Gibbs & Co. This story is the result of that and I hope that there will be some more off the cuff one shots to follow.

Hope you all enjoyed and more importantly, hope you all are safe.

Inks x