A/N: This is my very first story for 911, but I started watching it not long ago and I am already in love with it and caught up. This is also the first time writing slash so go easy on me, but let me know what you think! There will be a part two of this!
You want to know what's hard? Loving your best friend and being able to hide it so well that no one notices, not even yourself sometimes. It started off as small stuff, you know, like all things do. It wasn't the small touches that lingered or the glances that stayed too long. No, it was the game nights with Christopher and Eddie on the good and bad days. The times Eddie made sure that I even got out of bed during the days where I was essentially healed, but still couldn't go to work. It was the moments where Eddie left Chris with me after the tsunami that I could tell that my best friend still trusted me with his son even though I still woke up with nightmares and have Eddie's number dialed to call before I realize that it's two in the morning.
Having Eddie and Chris be there for me constantly, even when I didn't want company. When I just wanted to wallow in pity and fear and doubt that things would never be the same for me. It was like they became my hope. Sure, I had everyone else, but even big strong Evan Buckley needs a hero at some points too. Edmundo and Christopher Diaz became that for me.
At first, I tried to ignore it. I mean come on, the man just recently lost his wife and being his best friend, I know he's as straight as a freaking arrow. It doesn't stop the small feelings I get that he feels something too. I ignore it and then overthink it once I am home so I can cause my self to panic. Even if he did like men as well, why would he want ex-playboy extraordinaire when he could have anyone else?
When I first suspected I was in love with my best friend I immediately laughed it off. Even if I did, I didn't want it to ruin anything. I didn't want to lose the closest thing I had besides Maddie. I really didn't want to lose Christopher if anything happened either. I loved that kid with everything I have, and I would do anything for him. The sly thing knows more than he lets on, but I'm not sure what he knows.
You know what sucks? Being in love with your best friend and doing absolutely nothing to really hide it and he is the only one who doesn't know. I don't go out of my way with big gestures, it's the little things that matter in these instances. Especially around Chris and the team. It's the panic I know that shows on my face when Buck runs into buildings without me. The fear that I won't be able to help him if he needs it. The lingering gazes during meals with the team. The closeness in the truck before and after tough calls. Trusting him with my son was also a big thing.
The knowing glances I get from Bobby and Hen and the smirks from Chim and even Maddie, the female Buckley. Even Athena gives these looks and the others on the 118, except my Buckley. The poor man is so oblivious to what is in front of him.
"So, Eddie, when are you going to put him out of his misery and tell him?" Chimney walked up beside me as we peered out the doorway watching Buck play with Chris, Harry, and Denny. Everyone had gotten together at Athena's and Bobby's as a surprise for Buck for being cleared fully, again, to come back for work.
"Tell who what?" I said as I took a drink of the beer in my hand. While I didn't hide it and I knew everyone knew, doesn't mean that I want it out in the open right now.
Chim side-eyed me and scoffed, "You know exactly what I mean Eddie. I swear I don't know if you have actually checked on Chris the amount of times you have said or if it's an excuse just to stare at Buck."
"Of course, I'm checking on Chris. If Buck just happens to be beside him then I'm not going to just not look." I said and I realized that I semi admitted it out loud to one of the worst gossips on the team. I stopped my face from showing my slight panic. Apparently, I didn't do too good of a job, because I can hear Maddie and Hen approaching with light chuckles.
"You don't have to worry Eddie. You would have to be blind to not see that my brother loves you and Chris. He just believes that you are straight and has no chance, you know?" Maddie said as she took a drink of her wine and we watched as her eyes got wide. "Oh no, don't tell him I said anything. Howie, you were supposed to make sure I didn't drink too much. I'm turning into a gossip like Evan."
"For one, I did try to stop you. Se-" Chim started to say, but Hen interrupted.
"Eddie, you'll regret it if you don't tell him. Look at him with Chris. He treats Chris as if he were his own. And before you say it, yes, he treats Harry, May, and Denny exceptionally well, he isn't as protective over them as he is with Chris. You two have pretty much been parenting that boy together without even realizing it. We aren't pressuring you. We just want you two to be happy and being around each other is what makes you happy." Hen said as she smiled at me and I couldn't stop the slight blush and the gigantic smile on my face even if I wanted to. All of us jumped a bit when we heard Buck right beside us.
"What's got so happy Eds?" If I didn't know Evan as well as I did, I wouldn't have been able to pick up on the slight hint of jealousy. I would neither confirm nor deny on what that made me feel. I looked up at him and smiled even more just from having him near me. God the things this man does to me just by being around.
"I'll tell you later, deal?" I asked and raised my eyebrow in question. I watched as he took a slight, sharp inhale and I felt my smile turn more into a smirk.
"Deal." He cleared his throat and looked towards the floor.
"Daddy!" I heard and turned to the back patio and out of the corner of my eye notice Buck do the same. I watched as Christopher made his way to us and I crouched down to swoop him up. "I'm tired dad. Can we and Bucky go home?"
"Well," I started and looked around. Not wanting to just ditch but wanting to take care of Christopher at the same time. They all nodded and hid smirks behind their hands about the Buck coming home as well. I rolled my eyes and turned back to Chris. "Yeah buddy. We can go home. But you'll have to ask Buck if he wants to come over." We both turned to look at him. Mine pleading for him to say yes so, I can spend more time with him, so I can selfishly have him for myself for a bit. Christopher, I know wants an accomplice to try and get many bedtime stories and cuddles before he finally crashed on the couch with Buck and I more than likely.
"Of course, I'll come over Chris. You would have to drag me away." Buck said as he laid a hand on the middle of Christopher's back.
"Yay!" Chris said as he reached for Buck and Buck gladly took him and adjusted him, so he was comfortable.
We said our goodbyes everyone hugging Buck telling him congratulations and giving me the looks behind his back and we finally headed out the door and home.