There wasn't much that got by L, the world's leading detective on the Kira case. He tended to notice small changes in people before anyone else did, a hazard of his work. So when Light Yagami seemed to come into work with a more relaxed demeanor than usual, he certainly took notice. His number one suspect seemed a great deal happier these days. It wasn't as though he walked around with a huge smile on his face- No, that wasn't it at all. But the general aura coming from him seemed lighter somehow, less troubled. So naturally, he was interested in what might have caused such a change.
It was an operation he prepared well for. Clearly it was going to be something he did alone. Much as he trusted the other members of the Kira Task Force, he did not want to involve them in something that required such precision. Rather, he felt this a job for Watari. Having him deliver a gadget would allow him to discreetly bug the apartment, and from there he could tell when the best time to put in video cameras would be. When everyone left the building for the night, L gave Watari his instructions, and Watari followed them to the letter.
A few nights later, Light and Misa received a visitor. Opening the front door, they saw Watari standing there.
"Watari?" Asked Light.
"Good evening. My apologies for intruding so late, but I had something to give you that couldn't wait."
"What is it, Watari?" Misa asked, curious.
Watari opened the briefcase he carried in his hand, revealing a small USB flash drive. "On this flash drive is the strongest encryption code made as of yet. Ryuzaki has asked that you put it on your laptop for extra protection, in case of Kira attempting to hack into your computer system in order to try and get to ours."
Light picked up the small flash drive and inspected it. "They fit the program on this?"
Watari took his chance while they were distracted and discreetly placed a small, nearly microscopic bug on the doorframe. "Yes, sir."
"I would have thought that took more data than something like this could hold. Interesting. Alright. I'll put it on my laptop." Light said casually.
"Very good, sir. My apologies for troubling you at this late hour."
"It's no problem, Watari." Misa smiled. "Have a great night!"
"You as well, Miss." He said, before bowing out.
Light put a finger to his lips and took her into his bedroom, leaving the flash drive in the kitchen. When the door closed, he went into the closet with Misa. "I'm worried L bugged us."
"Like, to listen to us?"
"It's just the kind of thing he would do."
"It's rude." She muttered.
"We can't talk about… You know. Okay?"
"Okay." She said.
With that, he got his laptop and erased his internet history as far back as he could, before he plugged in the flash drive. He suspected L may have bugged the software on the drive to tell L of all his internet history, and it wasn't without reason considering his room had been bugged and video cameras had been set up there before. For now, he would just have to be extra careful.
L was pleased with Watari's infiltration. Now all they had to do was wait for a pattern of leaving to emerge and then pick out when the best time to infiltrate the apartment would be. For the moment, L kept recording all the movements he could hear from the doorway, but none of it was exciting. Just discussions about their day, and occasionally propositions for romance by Misa. However, the day came when he heard them both exit the apartment, and he sent Watari in to set up cameras. Small, nearly microscopic cameras and microphones of his own creation were placed in every room of the apartment, with Watari being mindful of any traps. He even caught onto Light's door handle strategy. Not a hair was out of place, and he stealthily made his exit.
L was greatly pleased with Watari's success. Now, he just had to wait for something useful.
It took a long time for something to come. Nearly three months of nothing had happened. Then, one day, his break came. Light had come home, hung up his coat, and gone to his bedroom in order to pull a Teddy Bear out of a drawer and bury his face in it's fur. He was crying. At least, that was what L thought judging by how he was shaking. It was fascinating to watch. The usually composed man L knew breaking down was a sight to behold. He stared, not even noticing when Misa came through the apartment door. He did not notice until She entered his bedroom.
"Light?" She asked softly.
She gained a soft whimper in response, and knew that this was not Light, this was baby. She moved toward the bed and sat down on it, pulling him close to her and hushing him. He clung to her and his bear, crying softly into her shoulder as she rubbed his back to try and calm him down.
L watched the events with intrigue. He was very aware that Light was good at keeping secrets and that he had many. L had thought one of them might be that he was Kira, and that could very well still be true, but this scene was perhaps an even greater secret than that (were it possible), and one he could use to gain more information from Light. As he watched Misa put Light to bed, he turned to Watari.
"Watari?"
"Sir?"
"I have a mission for you."
"Of course, sir."
He pointed at the screen, where Light was sleeping and holding the bear. "Bring me that bear."
Though L's request was unusual, Watari followed it to the letter. The next time Light and Misa were both away from the apartment, he got the bear from where Light had put it in his nightstand, before returning it to L. L hid it in a drawer in his desk, mindful of the others who were there, and decided on what his next step would be. He needed to confront Light with this quickly to catch him off guard. So, he had to take care of a few things first.
He sent the rest of the task force members away for the day, telling them to search for different ways Kira might be getting his information. It was liable to be an all-day affair, so L would be safe. The only one who did not get the message that day was Light, who headed into work as per usual.
When he got to Task Force Headquarters, L and Watari were the only ones there. A red flag raised itself in his mind at that.
"Ryuzaki?" He asked.
L turned around in his chair. "Hello, Light."
"Where is everyone?"
"I sent them out for the day. I wanted there to be time for the two of us to talk."
Light raised a brow. "About?"
L took a sip of the tea at his desk before he opened the drawer and pulled the bear out. "I want to talk about this." He said, turning in his chair so that Light could see it.
"Bobo?" He asked, heart beginning to hammer in his chest. The little boy in him was about ready to throw a tantrum of immense proportions when he saw L touching his best friend.
"So that's his name. It's a nice one."
"Ryuzaki, what are you doing with that?" He had to stop himself from saying "him" as he wanted to for fear of his attachment showing and making the bear even more desirable.
"It's quite simple, Light. I want information from you, so I got leverage. I would think you would be smart enough to pick up on that."
"Leverage? What leverage?"
"I figured it out, Light."
"Figured out what?" He asked, feeling his heart go into overdrive with panic.
"You keep many secrets, but this bear is part of your biggest one, isn't it? I've been watching you for some time now, and I noticed that you seemed to be happier. It got me wondering what could make you so happy, and so I did a bit of spying. I saw you with your bear. I saw Misa trying to comfort you while you cried, as if you were a small child. It clicked for me, when I saw that. You enjoy acting like a child for your own comfort."
The words sent a chill down Light's spine, but somehow he maintained his composure.
"It's quite understandable, actually. With all the pressure you're under, investigating yourself while simultaneously killing thousands. Anyone would want to escape that for a while. Some might choose to do it with drugs or alcohol, but you chose to do it this way. I commend you for keeping your mind sharp. But the charade ends here. If you want this back, you will tell me what I want to know. Nobody else needs to know about this. It's why I sent your father and the others away. This is just between you and I."
Light felt as though his insides were being ripped apart. He felt more sick than he ever had, but he could not give up the justice he had come so far in creating. He could not give up his ideals so easily, even if it meant not seeing Bobo again.
"Are you still going on about that?" He said, exasperated. "For god's sakes, I'm not Kira! How many times do I have to tell you? You said you've been watching me, so haven't you seen enough proof?"
"I've only been watching your apartment. I have no idea what you might do outside of it."
Light put his hand to his face. "And you think that I'm just going around out in the open killing people without anybody noticing anything? Seriously?"
"I think you're capable of killing anywhere, anytime you want. How it occurs is irrelevant to the fact that you've been doing it."
"So I guess you breaking into my apartment, illegally bugging it, and stealing my stuff is irrelevant to the fact that you did it too then, isn't it?" He shot back.
"I did what was necessary to gain information from you. Nothing more, nothing less."
"What information?! I don't have any information for you! You did all of this for nothing!" He yelled, frustrated.
"Well then, I guess you won't be seeing Bobo again." L said quietly. The little boy inside of Light was more than ready to pitch a fit in his panic.
"You can't do that!" He cried, indignant. "It's mine."
"I wouldn't have to do this if you would only confess to your crimes."
"There's nothing to confess! I told you!" He said.
L moved the bear to one hand and was reaching behind himself to give it to Watari when it slipped through his fingers. Rolling his chair backward to grab it, he accidentally rolled over it. When he tried to roll forward again to get his chair out from under it, a ripping sound was heard, and Light froze, stiffer than a board. Ryuzaki grabbed the bear by the ear with his thumb and index finger, holding it up to show a rip going from the top of one arm through the chest toward the left leg, that was currently pouring stuffing out of it.
"How unfortunate." L murmured, before he looked over to Light, surprised at what he saw.
In his moment of frozen terror, the little boy inside of him had shoved the adult in him out of the way. Seeing Bobo, his beloved best friend, ripped up that way was more than he could bear. Tears welled up in eyes that belonged to a broken hearted child, as he began to whimper like a kicked puppy as he reached for his companion. Small sobs escaped from him as huge tears rolled down his cheeks. When it became apparent L would not let the bear go, even it's current condition, his face crumpled, and he lost what little control he had over his emotions.
He let out a screeching wail, falling down to the ground on legs that refused to support him any longer, pulling his knees to his chest and rocking on the ground, back and forth over and over again as he sobbed. From day one, Bobo had been the best listener. He'd kept all of Light's secrets, been with him on tons of adventures, and was always there with a comforting hug whenever Light had been sad or scared. Now all of that was gone, and all that was left was a grief that was pulling him down more quickly than he could imagine.
L watched the breaking down of his enemy, filled with a strange mix of pity and compassion. It was hard to believe that the cries he was hearing belonged to somebody who was fully grown. But perhaps that was the point. He wasn't completely fully grown. Somewhere inside of him, a small child still came out to play, and that small child was the one currently sobbing his eyes out on the floor. It made him almost want to treat him differently than his older counterpart, but he could not. There was still a very real possibility of him snapping back to his adult self at any moment, and he had to be prepared.
Watari, watching behind him, was far more emotionally distressed than his boss. He was used to being kind to children. He'd made Wammy's House in order to help children, regardless. The man before him now reduced to a ball on the floor was, for all intents and purposes, a child. He'd seen many children come to Wammy's House with special blankets or toys of their own, had seen the fits they'd pitched were they out of their sight and reach. This was no different. His compassion urged him to do something for the beleaguered young man before him, but reason stopped him, told him that unless he was otherwise instructed, to not move.
It was in that moment that Misa came in, holding a small bag. "Light, you forgot your-"
It was then that she heard the sobs and saw him rocking on the floor. She dropped the bag immediately, and ran over to him.
"Light? Light, what's wrong? What's the matter?" She asked, sitting next to him. He didn't seem to hear her, nor even notice she was there, so she looked around for what triggered that reaction, and saw the bear. She gasped lightly, before anger marred her beautiful features. She skulked over to Ryuzaki, fuming with righteous anger.
"What did you do?!" She demanded.
"I won." Came the simple response.
She held her hand out. "Give me the bear right now." Her tone left no room for argument. Ryuzaki considered what might happen if he did not do as she asked, and because of that handed her the bear. Angry women scared him more than Kira ever could.
Bobo firmly in hand, she did something unexpected. She looked L right in the eyes and spoke to him in both seriousness and fury. "You think you won something today? You didn't win anything. All you did today was blackmail somebody for information. What you did was take the world of safety and childhood I spent two years creating for him and smashed it in two seconds. You took a little boy's trust and belief that the world could be a good place and you crushed it. You took the one thing that brought him comfort and security, and you destroyed it for your own gain. I hope you're proud of yourself. I hope you're both proud of yourselves for what you did here today. Fuck. you."
With that, she slapped him smartly across the face, and stared at him for a moment before she went to Light.
Light hadn't changed position. He was still rocking back and forth. Misa had to quickly decide how to approach this. She set Bobo down and got on the floor, wrapping her arms around him and hushing him softly. Light instinctively struggled against her, but stopped when he heard someone talking to him.
"It's alright, sweetie. Mommy's here. It's going to be okay."
Upon hearing those words, he dared to look up to see if it was true. When he caught sight of Misa, he immediately threw his arms around her with a fresh round of sobs exploding from him.
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" The whimpers came out.
Misa was bewildered, both by the sudden weight against her and by his stream of apologies. Still, she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him into her lap.
"What are you sorry for, baby?" She asked.
"I promised to keep Bobo safe and now he's not gonna believe me! And I know you're mad at me 'cause I didn't take care of him like I'm 'apposed to. I'm sorry, Mama! I won't do it again!" He sobbed.
She felt her heart break into tiny pieces at the admission, and held him tightly, fighting her own tears. "I'm not mad at you, sweetie. Not even a little. This isn't your fault at all. There was nothing you could have done. I'm not angry with you, sweet boy."
The words seemed to soothe something inside of him, and he relaxed fractionally. She was glad to see him calming down slightly. However, there was still a small piece of bad news she had to deliver.
"Sweetie?" She asked. He looked up at her, breathing choppily and sniffing. "I'm afraid Bobo's going to have to have a little surgery when we get home."
"Sturgery?" He asked.
She nodded. "That's right."
"But I don't want him to have sturgery!" He managed to get out between his choppy breaths.
"I know, baby. But when he has surgery then he'll be all better and he can play with you again." She said, trying to put a positive spin on it.
"He'll prob'ly be mad at me for getting him hurt." Light muttered sadly.
"I don't think he'll be mad. I think he'll be happy you were here to help him feel better." She said.
"R-Really?"
"Oh yes. I think he'd be very excited if you made him a get well soon card. Do you think he'd like that?"
"Yeah." He sniffled.
"Then let's get you and Bobo home so you can make that card, hmm?"
He nodded slightly. "'Kay Mama."
"That's my good boy." She said, giving him a kiss. "Come on, let's go home."
They both got up from the floor, and Misa handed Light the very torn up version of his stuffed companion. Light clutched Bobo as tightly to his chest as he could, making sure there was no way he could let any stuffing escape. He trembled, shaking all over, and Misa put an arm around him to steady him, simultaneously shooting a death glare at Ryuzaki and Watari. She didn't say anything because she didn't want to upset Light again, but that look said it all: They were going to pay for this.
She walked him out of the room, toward the building's exit, in time for Aizawa, Matsuda, Mogi, and Ide to come in. Misa took notice of them, all of whom were looking at Light, who had his head down and was still trembling. Nobody said a word, but their questioning gazes said more than enough to Misa, who was more than ready to go home. She shook her head minutely, silently telling them not to ask, and they seemed to accept the answer because they went straight inside, and Misa and Light were able to go home with no problems.
When the five of them went inside, it was Matsuda who spoke up. "Ryuzaki?"
"Yes? What is it, Matsuda?"
"What happened while we were gone?"
"Nothing you need to concern yourselves with." He said succinctly. They all knew that was the end of the discussion.
When Misa got Light home it was a relief. The privacy of their own walls was so inviting, and incredibly soothing. Light relaxed more at the familiar surroundings, and immediately handed Bobo to Misa so that he could get his pacifier. It had been far too long since he'd last used it, and he'd missed it terribly. Now that Ryuzaki knew, there was no use in trying to hide it anymore. He shoved it into his mouth and began to suckle frantically in hopes of calming down. It worked wonders, and when he felt a little better, he went to see what Mommy was up to.
As Light had gotten his pacifier, Misa had taken Bobo to the kitchen table and laid him down carefully. Thankfully it seemed none of his stuffing had gotten lost on the way home, so that was good. She went to her room and produced a small sewing kit from one of the drawers of her vanity. It always came in handy if she needed to fix a button or resew a hem on one of her dresses. Now it was about to meet it's biggest challenge yet. She got her pair of sewing glasses from the drawer to help her see the needle and thread better, and headed off to perform her first teddy bear surgery.
She sat down at the table and got the thread through the eye of the needle when Light came in, pacifier set firmly in his mouth.
"Mama?" The word in itself held the question of "What are you doing?", and Misa was glad she could tell that much.
"Hi sweetie. Mommy's getting ready to give Bobo his surgery, okay?"
"It hurt him?"
"No, it won't hurt him." She grabbed a small paper cup from the table. "See this?"
He nodded.
"This is going to go over his nose and mouth to make sure he stays asleep so he won't feel a thing." She promised.
Light nodded, though he still looked wary.
"Why don't you go work on making Bobo a get well soon card while Mommy works on making him all better?" She suggested.
"Can use crayons?" He asked, perking up a bit.
"Go get them from your toy box. There's a stack of paper in Mommy's room you can use." She smiled.
Light finally gave her a smile that reached his eyes, and ran off.
Putting the small cup over Bobo's nose as she'd told light she would do, She tied her thread, and got to work.
Meanwhile, Light was rummaging around in his toy box for his crayons. When he at last found them, he held them up in triumph for a moment, before running across the hall to Misa's room and getting some papers from her desk. That done, he raced back to his room and put everything on his desk to make the best get well card he could.
It was a long process of deciding what to write. Drawing the picture on the front for Bobo was no problem at all. He already knew what he wanted to draw. He drew himself holding Bobo's paw, with Bobo having two bandaids in the shape of an "X" on his middle. The top held the line "Get better soon, Bobo!" In a rainbow of crayon colors. But writing on the inside was always the hardest part. What could he write to Bobo to make him feel better?
Eventually, he decided.
He picked up a red crayon (Bobo's favorite color), and began to write.
Dear Bobo,
I'm sorry. It's my fault you got hurted and I'm really sorry. I hope you can forgive me. I wanna play with you again! I know you'll prolly be really scared when you come out of your sturgery, but I'll be here to try and make you feel all better, like you make me feel all better. Love,
Light
With that part done, there was the question of what he could draw on the inside of the card. Eventually, he decided on a smiley face, because he knew Bobo liked seeing lots of smiles. He colored it yellow, gave it arms to wave hi with, before he decided his card was done and perfect.
Misa, meanwhile, was hyper focused on her own task. Trying to stitch up a bear with a rip through it's middle was a task easier said than done. She was incredibly conscious of the fact that she would have to be very precise with her stitches in order to make them as invisible as she could so that Light wouldn't have to look at the bad reminder of this day so much. It was an incredibly intricate process. She tried to do small stitches that were close together to make it look more like a seam. She was also painfully aware that this would have been so much easier with a sewing machine, but the fact was that A- she didn't have one, and B- even if she did, she knew it probably would have frightened Light to see his bear under that machine, and God only knew he didn't need more of that today.
Still, despite the slower progress of her work, it was producing some results. She was nearly halfway done with him. She put the needle down for a moment, stretched out her hand, before she grabbed a nearby napkin to wipe the sweat from her forehead. The lights over the dining room table always made her warm, but spending this long under them was just making her hot. She only paused long enough to take a short drink of water, before she went back to it.
As Misa worked, Light was having an internal debate with himself. Did he really want to go out now before Mommy came to get him? He really wanted to give Bobo his card, but he wasn't sure if he could see Bobo having his sturgery without crying again. He knew Mommy would tell him as soon as he was all fixed, but he wasn't sure he could wait that long. He flopped down on the bed, opened the drawer of his nightstand, and pulled out a powder blue baby blanket that also took residence in there. Mommy had given him this too, but he hadn't liked it as much as Bobo. Nothing was as good as Bobo. Still, sometimes when he had a bad dream Mommy would spray Blankie with her perfume and it would make him feel better. He needed that now. He put the blanket to his nose and took a long, deep sniff. It still smelled like Mommy's favorite perfume- Oscar De La Renta. Rubbing the soft fabric against his cheek and smelling the familiar scent, he began to calm down at last.
By the time Misa looked at a clock again, it was close to noon. She'd begun her "surgery" on Bobo at Ten AM precisely. When the clock struck twelve, she was at last able to tie off the needle, cut the thread, and say she had done it. She had fixed Bobo. The fur around his middle was in an odd line, and there were a few visible stitches up by his arm, but other than that he looked like the same old bear he had been. Finally, she allowed herself to exhale and relax. It had been a long and arduous process, but at least it was finally over and done with. Now, hopefully, she would get to experience the fruits of that labor.
She took the paper cup off of the bear's nose, and held him gently in her arms behind her back. Excited for the first time all day, she scurried toward Light's room, to find his door open and him rubbing his blanket against his face.
"Li-ight?" She sang softly.
Instantly, he shot up in his bed and looked at her expectantly.
"I have somebody who wants to see you." She cooed, and pulled the bear out from behind her. "Good as new!"
The way his eyes lit up was reward enough on it's own, but to hear the happy cry of "Bobo!" And see him race toward her to get his beloved bear, hugging it tight to his chest, and hearing him say, "Oh Bobo, I'm so glad you're back! Mommy fixed you!" Was just about the best thing there was. She thought it couldn't get any better, but suddenly Light's arms were around her, hugging her tightly.
"Thank you, Mama." He said softly.
She smiled, and her heart melted like butter. "You're welcome, baby."
"Mama, can I give Bobo his card?"
"Of course you can. Just make sure to be gentle with him. He needs his rest after his surgery." She said, reminding him gently.
He nodded, a look of seriousness overtaking his somehow still childish face. He gently laid his bear on his bed, before clambering up beside him, pulling out the card.
"Bobo, I maked you a feel better card!" He said, excitedly. As Light chattered to his bear, Misa sat down on the bed and took a rare moment to let herself breathe. Days like these were always a marathon, but not usually an emotional rollercoaster, so when they were, she needed to take a moment to herself just to get right with her. She was grateful that the day had gone onto a better note, but she still couldn't help but wonder what she was going to do about Ryuzaki and Watari. Just thinking about them right now made her blood boil, so she boxed that thought away for later. For now, she would focus on Light's glowingly happy face.
Light turned away from Bobo a minute, remembering something from earlier. "Mama?"
"What, sweetie?" She asked, reaching out an arm to stroke his hair.
"I'm sorry I hitted you earlier when you was trying to hug me when I was sad. It wasn't nice." He said, eyes cast down to the floor.
"Come here." She said, patting the space beside her. He, knowing the drill, climbed into her lap and she wrapped her arms around him.
"Anger is a big feeling. So is sadness. Sometimes we don't know what to do with those big feelings so we try to give them to other people by hurting them. Sometimes anger and sadness can be good. They can make us better people if we let them, or they can hurt us even more. What we do with them is what makes us who we are. You were angry, but not at me. When you realized it was me, you stopped. You got sad, and you shared it with me instead of hurting me too. That's what's important. You said you were sorry, and that's the right thing to do. There's a better way to show those big feelings, and we'll work on it together, okay?"
"'Kay, Mama." He nodded.
She gave him a big kiss and her most gentle hug, loving the feel of him in her arms. When she let go, he looked up at her.
"Milks?" He asked.
She smiled. "Of course."
She removed her shirt and bra, and let him nurse from her, using his blanket to partly cover herself. She was very much aware that L and Watari could still be watching, but she didn't much care at that moment. All she cared about was that her baby was happy again. As Light began to "nurse" from her, she smiled. Tomorrow she would worry about L and Watari, but for now, she could only bring herself to care about the little boy in her lap.