Note: Doctor Who is done by BBC and was created by Sydney Newman, C. E. Webber, and Donald Wilson.
It was early in the morning and the 10th Doctor and Rose Tyler needed some energy, so they started heading towards the city's new coffee shop. The Doctor and Rose had gotten closer, as time went on, so Rose decided to hold the Doctor's hand, while walking with him. The Doctor looked down and noticed Rose was holding his hand. He looked confused, while asking, "Why are you holding my hand?"
Rose smiled, while saying, "Because I want to."
The Doctor replied, "I don't understand humans. They run away, when I need them to carry my power tools and other heavy objects. However, when it comes to stuff I don't need help holding, like my hand, people keep offering to lend me a hand."
Rose responded, "Holding hands is considered a sign of affection."
The Doctor replied, "I wish that carrying my stuff was considered affectionate. Do you know how hard it is, to get somebody to carry my stuff? When I stayed at a nearby hotel, the bellboy didn't offer to carry my bags. Despite that, he still begged for a tip."
Rose noticed the Doctor was a bit upset and cranky. She figured the Doctor was acting this way, because he hadn't had his morning drink. She said, "I think you'll be in a more cheerful mood, after you've had your coffee."
The Doctor replied, "This new coffee shop better have coffee, that tastes like pure eloquence. If not, I'll throw the coffee in their faces."
Rose nudged the Doctor and responded, "You need to have some manners, Doctor."
The Doctor said, "Maybe, but I don't tolerate cruddy drinks. That's why I threw the water, that you got for me, out the window. The water tasted icky, but it was funny when the water landed on your mailman. His precious jacket was soaked." The Doctor giggled, while Rose looked unamused.
A few minutes later, Rose and the Doctor stepped into the coffee shop. They looked around and saw several customers, who were waiting in line. The Doctor started growling, because he was mad he had to wait. Rose put her hand on his shoulder and said, "It's going to be okay."
The Doctor replied, "Frankly, I'm not sure things are going to be okay. This line is so long, that it'll probably take hours."
Rose responded, "That's a pretty big exaggeration, Doctor."
The Doctor angrily tapped his feet, while waiting for the line to hurry up. He wanted to know what time it was, so he nudged a male customer, who had a watch and asked, "Can you tell me the time?"
The customer replied, "I'm trying to write a text, so don't interrupt me."
The Doctor angrily said, "I've had enough of millennials and their silly texts." The Doctor took the watch off the customer's hand and threw it into the garbage can.
The customer replied, "Dude, why did you do that?"
The Doctor responded, "Because you didn't earn that watch, you snooty brat."
The customer was going to punch the Doctor's daylights out, but Rose said, "Please don't hurt my boyfriend. He acts a bit rude, before he's had his morning drink."
The customer replied, "He better work on his attitude or he's going to get his daily punch."
Several minutes later, Rose and the Doctor were at the front of the line. A female barista faced them, while saying, "What can I get you?"
Rose said, "I'll have a regular cup of coffee, with lots of sugar put into it."
The barista replied, "Okay then. What's your name?"
Rose answered, "Rose Tyler."
The barista said, "That's also the name of a flower."
The Doctor was beyond impatient, so he replied, "Duh."
The barista looked at the Doctor, while asking, "What can I get you?"
The Doctor replied, "I'll have a coffee, that's flavored with cinnamon, cookies, and peanut oil."
The barista looked surprised, while responding, "Whatever floats your boat. What's your name?"
The Doctor put his hands on his hips, while proudly saying, "I'm the Doctor."
The barista rolled her eyes and asked, "What's your real name?"
The Doctor said, "The Doctor is the name I was born with. It's the only name I've got, but considering how awesome it is, I'm not sending my family hate mail."
The barista replied, "Come on. You've got to have a last name."
The Doctor responded, "No I don't. It's just the Doctor. You know, having one name is pretty common. One of my favorite singers is just named Billie."
Rose replied, "She does have a last name. It's Piper, but she didn't use her last name, when she was a singer."
The Doctor started feeling nostalgic, while saying, "I miss hearing her lovely voice." He paused and looked back at the barista, while saying, "Anyways, my name is just the Doctor, so that's the name you can put on my cup."
The barista replied, "I don't think so. You see, being called a doctor is a pretty common thing. What if we get another customer, who happens to be a doctor? That would turn things into a confusing mess. Unless you get a real name, this isn't going to work out."
The Doctor shook his fist at the barista, while saying, "You've gotta be kidding me. I waited in this stupid line, for a bloody cup of coffee and because of a stupid name nitpick, you're not letting me have coffee? This place sucks!"
Rose tried to keep the Doctor from making a scene, by saying, "You can have my coffee."
The Doctor calmed down and replied, "Okay then."
A while later, the Doctor and Mickey Smith were in the Tardis, while working on time experiments. Mickey was doing most of the work, while the Doctor was doing most of the whining. After hearing lots of growls and rants, Mickey said, "Doctor, what's going on? I thought you were supposed to be a bundle of joy, after you've had your morning drink."
The Doctor replied, "The drink helped, but I'm still upset. You don't know what it's like, to lack a last name. I don't even have a middle name. The Doctor is my only name and it's more a title, than a name."
Mickey responded, "To be honest, I never really understood your name. You're called the Doctor, but it's not like you work at a hospital and cure patients."
The Doctor replied, "If anybody needs to be cured, it's me. I was cursed to not have a real name. I need to get one. Mickey, I noticed that when people get married, their last name changes. What's up with that?"
Mickey responded, "Married couples share the same last name as a sign of affection."
The Doctor asked, "Affection? Whenever I hear that word, I think of Rose." Suddenly, an idea popped into the Doctor's mind. His angry expression disappeared, while saying, "I know a way, to get a last name."
Mickey looked a bit nervous, while asking, "What's your plan?"
The Doctor grinned, while saying, "I'm going to marry Rose Tyler."
Mickey could hardly believe what he was hearing. He said, "Hold on there, Doctor. Are you planning on getting married, just so you can have a last name?"
The Doctor answered, "You could say that."
Mickey said, "Doctor, this is one of your worst ideas. People get married, because they fall in love and want to spend their lives with their soulmate."
The Doctor replied, "Well, I have more creative motivations, than regular people."
A short time later, the Doctor knocked on Rose's house door, while carrying a bouquet of roses. Rose opened the door, while looking glad to see the Doctor. She said, "Doctor, it's so good to see you. I wasn't expecting you to come by, today."
The Doctor replied, "Well, I like surprising the world's most beautiful rose. Speaking of roses, I got you some flowers." He handed her the flowers.
Rose said, "They're lovely."
The Doctor and Rose lovingly embraced each other, before the Doctor said, "Rose, I came here, because I wanted to ask you a very important question."
Rose asked, "You just wanted to ask a question? You usually just text me, when you have a random question."
The Doctor replied, "Yes, but this is a very important question. This could be the most important question, that anybody ever asks you." He got down on one knee and pulled out a wedding ring. He said, "Rose Tyler, will you marry me?"
Rose was deeply surprised, by what the Doctor was asking her. She thought the Doctor would delay talk of marriage, for years. Rose felt like she was in a dream. She gleefully said, "Yes!" Rose grabbed the Doctor and gave him a big kiss.
The Doctor replied, "I love anytime, that I can get a kiss from a rose. It's better than being kissed by a bat." Rose raised an eyebrow.
Rose asked, "When will we get married?"
The Doctor said, "Um, this Saturday. You might want to buy a wedding dress and invite some guests. We'll get married next to the lake, that's a block away from the Tardis."
The Doctor went back to the Tardis and told Mickey he got married. Mickey gave the Doctor a disapproving look. The Doctor was confused, so he asked, "Why are you upset?"
Mickey replied, "You should only get married, if you're in love. You're tricking Rose and that's unfair to her."
The Doctor calmly responded, "Calm down. I do love Rose, but it's not like I want to get married. Plus, I think Rose only agreed to marry me, because she got caught up in the moment. I'm pretty sure she'll realize her mistake, during the wedding. However, she won't want to hurt my feelings, so she'll let me keep her last name, as a wedding gift."
Mickey angrily folded his arms and replied, "That's emotionally manipulative."
The Doctor said, "I'm doing Rose a favor. I'm giving her the lovey-dovey stuff, that she's probably always wanted."
Mickey replied, "You've gone too far, Doctor. I'm going to tell Rose your true intentions."
The Doctor didn't want Mickey to ruin his plans, so he used knock-out gas on him. After Mickey fell to the ground and passed out, the Doctor tied him up and put him in the Tardis' broom closet. He said, "I'll wake Mickey up, after I get Rose's last name."
A few days later, it was Saturday. Rose arranged a small, but sweet wedding reception. A stage, that used to be used as a music stage, was being used for the wedding. Several of the Doctor's friends attended the wedding, including Sarah Jane Smith, Jack Harkness, Martha Jones, Donna Noble, River Song, and Amy Pond. K-9 was the best man.
The Doctor stood onstage. He tapped his feet, while waiting for Rose to come. Instead of wearing a tuxedo, he wore his regular suit. Rose had put so much effort into getting the wedding ready, but she struggled to find somebody to host the wedding. Because of that, she asked the Doctor to find somebody. The Doctor was too lazy and uncaring, to find a proper wedding host, so he programmed a wedding-themed Dalek.
The Dalek moved around, while saying, "Must exterminate the bride's ex-boyfriends. Exterminate!"
The Doctor put his hand in front of the Dalek, while replying, "Hold on, Dalek. Mickey's not here, so you don't have to exterminate anybody."
The Dalek stared at the drink table and noticed there some cheapo drinks were being served, so it said, "Exterminate crappy drinks!" The Dalek made the drink table explode. The guests panicked, while the Doctor smirked.
The Doctor looked at K-9, while asking, "Do you have the rings?" K-9 nodded his head. The Doctor said, "Thank you, old chum. I have the receipt in my jacket pocket. I plan on returning the rings, after the wedding falls apart."
A few minutes later, Rose started walking around, while wearing a fancy, white dress. The cake baker, named Tom, walked Rose down the aisle. Rose stood by the Doctor, with an excited look on her face. The Doctor looked at her. It had been a long time, since Rose had looked so happy.
The Dalek said, "Guests that I'm sadly not allowed to exterminate, we are gathered here, to unite this time lord and this metaphorical flower, in the bond of marriage. If anybody objects to this wedding, let them speak now and I will exterminate them." Several of the guests questioned the wedding, but none of them wanted to get exterminated, so they remained silent.
The Dalek looked at the Doctor, while saying, "10th Doctor, do you take the one and only Rose Tyler, to be your wife?"
The Doctor replied, "I think I will."
The Dalek looked at Rose, while saying, "Rose Tyler, do you take the 10th Doctor, to be your husband?"
Rose grinned, while replying, "Of course."
The Dalek said, "By the power invested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may exterminate the bride."
Rose angrily raised an eyebrow, while saying, "Excuse me?"
The Dalek replied, "I'm sorry. I couldn't resist throwing in some dark humor."
The Doctor and Rose kissed each other. Rose said, "I can't believe we're married. This is the best day of my life."
The Doctor replied, "That's a pretty hyperbolic thing to say, but I'm thrilled to become Mr. Tyler. Now, I actually have a last name. I can go around and get coffee, without any problems."
Rose said, "That's nice and all, but I think we should start planning our honeymoon."
The Doctor asked, "Honeymoon? My honeymoon's going to be at the new coffee shop."
Rose pulled the Doctor back to her and said, "Hold on, Mr. Tyler. Did you just get married to me, because you wanted to have my last name?"
The Doctor answered, "More or less."
Rose threw her wedding ring at the Doctor and said, "Our marriage has been exterminated." She angrily stormed out and helped Mickey get out of the Tardis' broom closet, before she headed home.
The Dalek looked at the Doctor, while saying, "Your ex-wife's pretty awesome."
The next day, the Doctor was moping around the Tardis, while Mickey was working on the time experiments, that the Doctor was too lay to do. Mickey said, "Your marriage plan was a terrible idea, which is why it didn't work out."
The Doctor replied, "I went to Rose's house and begged her, to let me have your last name."
Mickey asked, "What happened?"
The Doctor said, "Rose had a new last name picked out for me."
Mickey asked, "Did you get a good name?"
The Doctor had a fussy look on his face, while saying, "I wanted a really cool last name, like Hartnell, Crushing, or Pertwee. Instead, my last name is Tennant. I can't believe that's my name. It makes me feel like an apartment building's permanent resident or something."
Mickey replied, "Calm down, Scrooge McDuck."
The Doctor put his hand on his chin, while saying, "Scrooge McDuck? That's quite the special name. You know what? I'm going to go propose to a duck." The Doctor started running to the nearest lake, while Mickey facepalmed.