Hey guys. Morpher here. It's my first ever fanfiction! I hope you guys like it! Just to be clear: This is set between books 4 and 5, except Keefe never joined the Neverseen. Yay! Enjoy!
Keefe hated his home.
He hated the way his father talked to him, like he was less than the great Lord Cassius. He hated the way Candleshade rose into the air, seeming to say "You don't belong here". He hated how his father wasn't even going to mentionMom ever. Like she had never existed. What would happen if he disappointed him? Would he vanish from existence too?
That's why he'd never told anyone about how he felt. He knew it was bad, knew that there would be consequences. He didn't want to be like Herine.
They had been one of Dad's coworkers, a kind young lady until they weren't a lady. They had told the council, who told everyone. Everyone scorned them. Herine's husband left them, they had to leave their house and no one would come even near them. Keefe had seen them, in Atlantis one day, curled up into a ball in an alley, with people mocking her as they walked by. Elves have unlimited money, yes. But that means nothing if no one would sell you anything.
Keefe didn't want to be rejected. He didn't want to be alone.
Keefe first knew he was different the moment he met the Vackers. He was like… six or seven maybe? He remembered his mom pushing him towards two kids on an Atlantis playground. Go ahead, she'd said, her voice uncharacteristically kind. You'll make friends. At the time, it'd seemed normal. The girl had smiled at him, and invited him to play with them. He'd agreed, and they'd played Bramble until he arrived. Sorry I'm late, a dark-haired boy, probably a teenager, called. He smiled at an older dark haired couple sitting on a bench, and Keefe felt... something.
He felt nervous and excited and excited all at once. He wanted to run to the boy. He wanted to run away screaming. He wanted the boy to notice him. Hey there, kid, the boy smiled, walking over to Keefe. My name's Alvar. What's yours? Keefe knew then, that everything was not alright.
He didn't try putting a name to the feeling until he was eleven or so, and heard Fitz talking about some girl he had a crush on. Crush? He'd read some of his father's books, and discovered that he did know exactly what a crush was. It was how he felt when he looked at Alvar.
He didn't put a name to what he was until a year later. His mother needed something from Lumenaria, and so dragged her son along. While waiting outside the store, Keefe had seen two men, walking down the sidewalk holding hands. A group of teenagers were grouped behind them, laughing and yelling GO HOME GAYS! Keefe didn't get to see anything else before Mom pulled him away silently. Back at Candleshade, Keefe had heard Mom and Dad talking about it. He'd been able to figure out that a gay was a boy who liked other boys. He stared at himself in the bathroom mirror. Gay? Was that what he was?
Keefe knew he couldn't tell anyone. They'd hate him, just like they hated Herine and the two men. He hid it for years, writing it down only in his journal. Learning to fake emotions in order to fool his father. Hiding himself from the world. Until he met Sophie Foster.
She was new, exotic. She'd been raised by humans so that she'd be different from elves. Or at least that's what the wrinkly dude said. Maybe… she'd understand how it felt to be different? Should he tell her? But what if it was in elven DNA to hate gays like him? He couldn't risk it. So he gave her the same smiley, happy act he gave everyone else.
And then he decided to flirt with her. It wouldn't be that hard, he thought. Just flirt with her. Maybe then you'll be normal. She's not an empath. She'll never know. So he made the world think he wanted Team Foster-Keefe.
And then Keefe's mother joined the Neverseen. He'd thought she was the good one, the kinder one. But she wasn't. She had done far worse than his father ever had. Keefe couldn't take it. Couldn't take going home and faking it for his father. So when Sophie asked if he wanted to join the Black Swan, he said yes. What choice did he have?
Being with the Black Swan was the best time of Keefe's life. The scariest, most stressful and most tiring, but still the best. He was surrounded by people who cared about him, and would help him. When Fitz or Dex pushed him to eat and not just dot down memories or when he and Sophie had window sleepovers, he felt… needed. Loved. Of course, he had to wonder: Would they still care if they knew he was gay?
And then Keefe entered Exillium. Even that couldn't end the sense of joy Keefe felt at not having to go home to Dear Old Dad every day after school. Even if he wasn't allowed to talk to anyone and it was the most physically challenging thing he'd ever done, it still felt peaceful. Nice. Until he met Tam.
Tam was beautiful. Keefe hated it. He hated Tam's silver eyed and bangs and the way he hadn't let his father control him. Keefe wished he was like that. The same nervous-excited-elated combination he'd felt when meeting Alvar returned when he met Tam. Naturally, Keefe hated him and resolved to make Tam hate him too. That was one of the reasons he didn't agree to have his shadowvapor read. That, and he was afraid to know what would be found. Maybe it'd make Tam hate him faster, but no. Still can't risk it. At least Alvar refused too. That was something, right?
It wasn't. Alvar was working with the Neverseen. He had helped kidnap Sophie and Dex. He had helped torture Sophie and Dex. Keefe had seen them afterwards, had seen how broken they were. And Alvar had been a part of that. The part of Keefe who was still an innocent boy with a childish crush died right then. He wished the rest of him had too.
Afterwards he returned to Candleshade. He wasn't sure if he really had a choice. He wasn't ready to leave the worlds of love and window sleepovers. But he had to return home, to his father trying to make him something he wasn't and to people whispering did you hear his mom helped make the gnome plague? Really? He was out of practice hiding who he was, and his father may have started to notice. But Keefe never thought he'd actually figure it out.
It had been a normal day at Foxfire- detention (it wasn't his fault Stina Heks was an bitch!), boring classes, Fitz and Sophie awkwardly flirting- the usual stuff. Keefe was dreading going home, but that was usual. He knew his father would be a little stressed because some gnomes were coming over to look through Mom's stuff, but he was used to that. He was expecting to be ignored or at the very most just nodded at. What Keefe wasn't expecting was for Lord Cassius to be standing beside the Leapmaster. Holding Keefe's diary.
"Dad-" Keefe whispered. His father shook his head. "Why?" Something about that question made Keefe so angry, but he pushed it down. Just like he always did. "Why what?" "Why did you choose to feel this way?" "I didn't-" "Why did you choose to be wrong?" That was it. Keefe couldn't push it down anymore. "I didn't choose anything!" he exploded. "I didn't want to! Did you think I want the world to hate me?"
Lord Cassius wasn't listening. He was staring off somewhere, at something no one could see. "So this is my curse?" he whispered, almost like he was talking to himself. "A traitorous wife and a defective son?" The anger was pushed down again. Keefe was right. He was a disappointment. "Dad-" Lord Cassius turned on him, eyes flaring. "You are not my son!" He threw Keefe's diary at him. "Go! Get out! Never come back! I have no son and I never did!"
Keefe picked up his diary, eyes burning. He would not let his father see him cry. Never. Some part of him was begging him to stop, to try to reason with Lord Cassius. You are his son. Shouldn't he love you? The other part knew more. It knew that parents would disappoint you and hurt you. It knew Keefe was broken and a failure, and that no one cared. Keefe silently walked towards the Leapmaster, and let it take him wherever it liked. The last thing he saw was his father's glare.
Keefe reemerged in a forest he barely recognized. It was- wasn't it the place where he'd met Tam for the first time? Figures. This was where the Song twins had come after being banished from their house. That was honestly hilarious. It was a really nice place, especially with the gnomes running around, working with the trees. Keefe ducked into a small area imbetween two bushes, where hopefully he could think in peace.
What could he do now? He had nowhere else to go, nowhere to run. His father would tell everyone and then everyone would hate him. He could never go back to Foxfire… maybe he could go to Exillium again? Or maybe he could go find a leaping crystal and just… fade. Sophie said it didn't hurt, and he'd finally be free. Free to be with the light and not have to remember the way his father had looked at him… Keefe buried his face in his hands and began to sob. And this time their was no one there to comfort him.
"Um...you ok?" a frighteningly familiar voice said. Keefe looked up nervously to see.. Yup, Bangs Boy himself. Tam looked as annoyingly gorgeous as always, but Keefe just couldn't deal with him today. "Why are you here?" Keefe asked. He was so tired of everyone. Another person to hate him and know he's broken. Tam raised an eyebrow. "I used to live here and needed to come get Linh's bracelet that she left here. Why are you crying in a bush?"
Keefe debated whether or not to tell him. Why the hell not? Wasn't like this couldd get any worse. "My dad kicked me out." "Oh," Tam whispered. He crawled into the space with Keefe. The two boys were very close together-maybe too close. Keefe could feel the warmth of Tam's skin and feel his arm move everytime he breathed. He tried to force his thoughts out of his head, tried to make it seem normal. "Any particular reason?" Keefe shrugged. "I…" "Did it have to do with your mom?" Lady Gisela. Would she ever hear about this? If she was still alive, what would she say? Keefe was sure that, in her own deranged way, she cared about him. Not in a normal way but...would she have fought his father?
"No. Mom has nothing to do with this." Tam nodded before climbing out of the bush. "OK. C'mon." "What-" Keefe tried to protest as Tam yanked him out. "You're going to Alluveterre. We'll go from there." Keefe felt like he should protest. Maybe he should stay here. Maybe he deserved to give up. But maybe… Keefe wasn't sure why, but he let Tam pull out his crystal and drag him into the light.
Linh seemed a little confused when Tam showed up with both her bracelet and Keefe, but she didn't ask questions as Keefe walked up to the room where he had stayed while with the Black Swan. He sat on the bed and looked around. This room was the only place he'd ever felt truly cared for. But would they care for him if they knew the truth?" Keefe didn't want to find out. By the time Tam had brought Mr. Forkle up to talk to him, Keefe was already asleep.
When he woke up the next morning, he at first thought that he had never gone home, and that Alvar's betrayal and getting kicked out had all been a huge dream. He kept this hope up until he got to the common room, where Tam, Linh, Sophie, Fitz, Biana and Dex were all sitting on a couch staring at him. He sighed, sitting down heavily on the chair closest to the exit. "I guess Tam told you, huh?"
"Yes he did," Sophie said softly. "Why didn't you tell us it was that bad?" "Yeah, you should've come stayed with us, dude," Fitz agreed. "My parents already love you." They wouldn't. Not if they knew he was gay. "Why'd you get kicked out? And why didn't you just come right over?" "Because I'm broken!" Keefe yelled. He felt the tears start to come again, but he wouldn't cry in front of his friends. "I'm defective and I'm a freak and I-" "Am the only elf who's ever been able to teleport?" Sophie jumped in. "Whatever you think is wrong with you definitely won't be as freaky as that." "Did you ever flood Atlantis?" "Make a thing that can hack the council by poking twigs in it?" "Get stabbed by a giant bug?" "Be friends with Maruca?" "You should know by now, Keefe." Sophie smiled at him. "We're all a little broken. None of us would ever hate you." Well… they'd know soon enough anyway. His father was probably telling everybody, and they'd send out scrolls telling everyone about it soon probably. Might as well get it over with. "Dad kicked me out because… I'm gay." "That's it?!"
Everyone turned to look at Dex, who blushed. "I just meant… why does he care that much? It's not that big a deal." "Yeah," Biana said. "My aunt's gay. It doesn't seem like that huge a thing to me." "Well, I think it was already established Keefe's dad is an asshole," Fitz muttered. Keefe could hardly believe this. "You guys don't think I'm broken?" "Of course not," Tam said, shrugging. "I am too. It's one of the many reasons Linh and I left." "Well, they didn't even know you were. But I'm lesbian, so…" Keefe blinked. Okay. Tam being gay… was a whole other thing he could work out later. Wait, did everyone but him already know about the twins?
"We could never hate you, Keefe," Sophie said, walking over to hug him. Soon they were joined by everyone else. The hug lasted a few seconds before Fitz looked up suddenly. "Hey, I bet my parents would love to have you!"
"Yeah!" Biana agreed. "We have all this empty space, and you already spend so much time over there, might as well make it permanent!" Fitz yanked out his imparter, and was bac within five minutes. "Dad says you can stay as long as you need to! I think Mom's already out buying you new clothes, so be careful. Sorry about that. But-" "You really think your parents would be OK with… me?" "Yeah. Did I mention my aunt? But you don't even need to tell them if you don't want to. It might make it easier, but it's your choice." Fitz gave him a thumbs up. "You guys wanna come over to help Keefe move in and to play Bramble?" Biana asked energetically.
As his friends planned the rest of their day, Keefe smiled. He couldn't remember why he'd been so nervous about telling them. Keefe didn't care what the rest of the world thought- as long as he had his friends, he knew he'd be OK.
Thanks for reading! Yes, I know how Leapmasters work, I just needed to move the story along. I might make a sequel where Keefe and Tam start dating. Later, Potaters!