Dedicated to Maits18.
'Thanks for doing this, Uncle Padfoot. Really appreciate it,' Harry shook Sirius' hand when the older man entered the house.
'It's no problem at all, Prongs 2.0. Always happy to babysit Prongs the third,' Sirius grinned excitedly.
'More like HAVE A PLAY DATE with Prongs the third. Now remember, Dad's coming over soon. Please don't trash the place, you don't want your favourite godson to get into trouble with his wife now, do you? And please, please, please don't feed Jamie sugar. He's already too excited to spend the day with you guys,' Harry groaned, knowing it was impossible to stop his dad and godfather from doing what they wanted but still he needed to relay the message.
'Relax, Specky! Uncle Pads has got everything covered. Prongs and I have a foolproof plan. Everything's sorted out. You go 'spend some quality time' with that hot little wife of yours,' smirked Sirius, making air quotes around his words.
'We ARE going to spend some quality time together... Why are you making those air commas with your hands?' Harry was bewildered.
'They're called apostrophes, doofus,' Hermione laughed as she came over to the duo. She kissed Sirius' cheek in greeting and asked suspiciously, 'You didn't bring your broom with you, did you?' Sirius was a professional liar and knew how to handle such situations. He laughed and jokingly answered, 'Nope, I didn't bring my broom, although I did bring JJ's new Quidditch gear. He's gonna be the cutest player of his age, I promise you that!'
Hermione narrowed her eyes, trying to figure out if he was lying about the broom. A bit apprehensive, she decided to trust him when he pulled out a full Quidditch gear and started showing her the little pads and the cute little helmet that was going to look spectacular on Jamie.
Once the young couple had left, Sirius changed to his Animagus form and bounded upstairs. Pushing the door open with his head, he snuck over to Jamie who was lying in his crib nibbling his toes. Padfoot barked excitedly, causing Jamie to squeal with delight and quickly scramble to his feet. Sirius changed back and walked over to the crib. 'Look at you, JJ! You want to go play Quidditch with your Papa Pads? Or should we wait for your lazy Papa Prongs,' he cooed. Jamie clapped his hands as Sirius carried him out of the room.
The two played with Jamie's toys which Sirius charmed to speak in high-pitched voices. After that, Sirius chased Jamie around the house in his Animagus form. The two of them were out of breath when James flooed in. 'Oye, did you two start without me?' whined James as he dusted himself off.
'Look, Papa Prongsie's here!' Sirius cheered, 'Who'll go kiss Papa Prongs first?' Jamie and Sirius ran over to James, Sirius shifting into Padfoot right before he lunged at his best friend of over 30 years.
The three fell over in a heap, James stuck at the bottom. 'Hey, get off me, Pads! You weigh a ton! What have you been eating?' James grumbled good large dog barked and licked James' face. 'How many times do I have to tell you your breath stinks?' he joked as he shoved Sirius to the side. Sirius changed back and retorted, 'Like you smell any better, dipshit.' 'Don't curse in front of him,' James cried with fear, 'you know what happened the last time we cursed in front of a baby, right?' Sirius snickered, recalling the time Harry had said his first word. He then shivered with fear, also recalling the shoe to the head he'd received from Lily. Both men grimaced, not wanting to speak of that terrifying incident again.
The sunlight poured in through the windows of the Potter's kitchen, a light breeze rustled the leaves of the trees outside. The two men agreed it was a perfect day for a small Quidditch match. They got into an argument over who got to dress little Jamie and then also argued about flying with Jamie first. Remus and Peter had introduced them to Rock, Paper, Scissors back in their first year and the two grownups still used the method to settle their arguments, to everyone's amusement.
Sirius won both the chance to dress up Jamie and fly with him too. James scowled and pouted but got over it in a few moments.
The two men took a stuffed Quaffle outside and mounted their brooms. Sirius hadn't lied, technically. He'd sent his broom to James and JAMES had been the one to bring the brooms. Sirius had only brought the Quidditch gear.
Flying high up in the air, they circled each other and whooped loudly, making Jamie laugh with delight. They passed the Quaffle between them, performing semi dangerous stunts on their brooms for Jamie's amusement.
The wind blew James' messy hair into his eyes, blinding him for a second. It was at that exact moment in time that he swiped his hand to push his hair back, forgetting Jamie was seated in front. The younger boy let go of the broom to scratch his nose right when they were upside down in midair.
Jamie cried out, tumbling off the broom instantly. Sirius yelled, 'Jamie!', alerting James to the situation. James followed Sirius' broom, racing down alongside, his fear intensifying.
Delighted, Jamie screamed, 'Whee!' as he careened towards the ground. Panting with equal amounts of exertion and dread, Sirius caught Jamie by the back of his trousers, dangling him in the air as he landed carefully on the ground.
James shot down, his heart almost beating out of his chest, his hands trembling and his knees weak. Sirius immediately deposited Jamie onto the grass and swivelled around to face James.
His hands still trembling, Sirius swung his arm back and slammed his fist against James' jaw. 'Oh, fuck!' both yelled out in pain.
Jamie giggled, adrenaline rushing through his veins. 'Fuck!' cheered Jamie, waving his hands in the air. James and Sirius stiffened with unabated horror. 'No, please no, tell me I didn't hear him say that...' James whispered under his breath. 'Say 'dada' or 'mama', JJ!' begged Sirius, quickly getting on his knees in front of the kid. Jamie cackled and repeated, 'Fuck!'
James grabbed Sirius' arm and hissed, 'We didn't do this, okay? We have to have an alibi, yeah... Uhh, how about I was in the toilet and you were in the kitchen and that's when someone came home and taught him that word?!' James' voice was high with terror by the end of his ramblings.
Sirius' eyes widened, 'Let's obliviate him.' 'I don't think that's safe at his age,' James murmured, nibbling on his lower lip, his hand on his neck. 'Let's knock him out!' Sirius' suggestions were getting too frantic and crazy, even for him.
'How about we put him to sleep?,' suggested James. 'He's a kid, not a dog! We can't put him to sleep, Prongs! How cruel can you be? And to your own grandson?' Sirius was panicking and it showed in his tremors and befuddled sentences.
James yanked Sirius bybhis hair forward, slapped him once, twice for good measure, and thrice just because. He pressed his forehead against his best mate's and demanded, 'Calm. Down. Padfoot. Take a deep breath in and let it out slowly.' Sirius obeyed instantly.
Once they were both calm, James explained his idea to him and Sirius nodded. They rushed Jamie upstairs and tried their level best to tire him out quickly. It took a while but they succeeded in their mission at last. Tired of the whole ordeal, the two men fell asleep on the floor on Jamie's room.
Harry and Hermione arrived at the house a few hours later. They'd spent their day lazing around in a hotel room, making love to each other. After that, they had lunch delivered to their room. They'd even taken a short walk around the Muggle resort, hand in hand, enjoying their time together.
Hermione looked into Jamie's room and smiled affectionately at the scene. Jamie was fast asleep in his crib while James and Sirius were sprawled on the floor, resembling two gigantic starfishes.
She shut the door and went downstairs to her husband. Harry pulled her into his arms, kissing her sweetly, 'Are they asleep?' Hermione nodded, 'Remus will be here soon for you guys. We should wake them up.'
Harry asked, 'You don't mind staying home with Jamie while I go out with the boys?' Hermione rolled her eyes and pointed out, 'If you don't have a problem with me going out with the girls now and then, why should I? I trust you, Harry.' Harry's smile widened at her words.
'Besides, I won't be alone. Your mum's coming over, too,' she added. Harry chuckled, 'Of course, that's why you're letting me go.' Hermione laughed heartily.
'Go wake them up before Remus barges in and yells at them for being late as usual,' she instructed. 'Yes, ma'am!' Harry saluted her cheekily and ran upstairs laughing. Hermione shook her head, amused, and slipped into the kitchen.
Harry opened the door slowly, peeking inside. Sirius shifted in his sleep when he heard the door creaking. James popped one eye open lazily and muttered, 'Oh, you're home then.' 'Remus will be here soon,' Harry announced. 'Moony? My Moony?' cried Sirius as he snapped his eyes open and shot up straight. The Potter men laughed at his attention.
Jamie yawned, rubbing his eyes and rolling over. He directed a lazy, toothy smile at Harry and waved his arms wildly to catch his father's attention.
Picking his son up, Harry cooed, 'There's my little man! Did you have a great day with Papa Prongs and Papa Pads?' He settled him on his hip and carried him out of there, still talking in a high-pitched voice.
James and Sirius followed at a slower pace, still struggling to open their eyes. They stopped to wash up a bit before going down the stairs.
Unexpectedly, the most astonishing thing happened. They heard Harry bellow 'Fuck!' A crash immediately followed the roared expletive.
James and Sirius gasped and scrambled to get to the crime scene. They gaped at a fallen Harry who was clutching Jamie to his chest tightly with abandoned glee and terror, silently predicting the next few minutes with accurate precision.
And then... 'Fuck!' whooped Jamie so clearly there was no doubt as to what he'd just yelled out.
James and Sirius clutched onto each other for dear life and whimpered in fear as an infuriated Hermione stormed into the hallway. 'Did he just say what I think he said?' Her voice was deathly calm. Harry paled at her tone. 'Uhh, it was an accident, I swear!' he cried out, tightening his hold on Jamie, holding him in front of his chest as a makeshift shield.
'Harry. James. Potter. You are dead,' Hermione growled as she whipped out her wand. Harry shrieked with terror as he raced outside, Hermione right at his heels hexing him straight on. 'Get back here, Potter! I'm not done with you, you imbecile!' she roared, her curly hair flying behind her as she sent hexes after hexes at her poor husband.
'Marauder's honour, we never speak about what happened today, deal?' James whispered, holding his hand forward. Sirius immediately shook on it, his heart thudding painfully in his chest at the thought of anyone finding out the truth. 'Marauder's honour, mate,' he repeated solemnly, just as Harry screamed a scream so terrifying it curdled the blood in their veins.
Feel free to PM me any prompts you might have for a Harry Potter fic. Please review as it means a lot. :) Thanks for reading.