Chapter 1

Reality

There was a storm brewing outside, slowly blanketing the sky over the darkened windows of Hogwarts and threatening to pour down on the rooftops and pavements of the castle. In the distance, thunder rumbled lowly and with it struck flashes of hot, white lightning that carried the promise of rain. It was strangely calm and peaceful. No sound echoed through the halls except for the growl of thunder and no light cast shadows except for the bright streaks of lightning. All was at peace.

The people waiting in the hall stared at each other with frightened gazes as they stared out the windows of the castle, knowing that somewhere in the Forbidden Fores,t a young boy and a monster were battling.

None of them expected Harry to ask that monster to have a battle with him somewhere else. None of them knew that Harry thought of this battle as something…personal. And strangely enough, Voldemort seemed to feel the same as he invited the boy to go with him somewhere in the Forbidden forest, no death eaters, no wizards.

Just them and nature, if you ignored the creatures lurking in the dark of that forest.

Harry was standing in a small clearing, leaning on a tree and covered in scratches and bruises. Across of him, was the corpse of Voldemort, his red eyes staring at him in surprise and fear. He sank down on the ground just as the first drops of rain brushed against the top of the trees.

"It really came down to this…did it not, Voldemort?" Harry asked loudly to the body, moving his legs toward himself as his back connects with the tree behind him. Harry questioned himself about why he didn't feel happy about his enemy's death, rather, feeling a pang of grief and then emptiness.

He knocked his head back toward the wood, one of his hands moving to cover his eyes as a laugh erupted out his throat, gradually turning into hiccups and finally, tears started accumulating, oozing out his eyes and wetting his hand.

Nobody but Harry himself would know about this…that Harry was crying for a man that murdered his family and many other's loved ones. Minutes seemed to be hours for him as he emptied this pain, soon coming to an end as he just felt emptiness.

"Did you know that I would feel like this?" he said as he withdrew his hand from his face, glancing down to the body of Voldemort, comprehending that he would never receive an answer, even though he knew already the answer "Obviously you didn't know…you are not him."

Minutes passed, and soon the rain soaked all his surroundings, the tree barely covering his body. Harry didn't really care, he likes the rain after all, but he still ached for something warm, holding himself with his arms.

Sometimes…Harry questions himself if all of this is real.

That pephards, he wasn't really here but, in a dream, napping inside his dark, small cupboard. Resting to forget the hunger that eats him alive, unaware of the world surrounding him outside of the walls of the Dursley's house, where nobody but his own family can hurt him.

And then he realises that this is real and there is no sense in fooling himself that all of this is a nightmare because it will not get the threat away from him and, the pain, even less.

Harry pretends to beam as people start cheering around him, rubbing his shoulder and thanking him for saving all of them. Hermione gazed at him with a hand over her mouth, tears slipping down her face as she leaps at him and hugs him.

"Oh god…" she hiccupped on his shoulder, "I thought you were dead, Harry!"

Harry just smiled, stroking her back as he consoled her, telling her that he is alive.

But are you? A snarky voice requested somewhere inside his mind, which Harry decides to disregard.

It didn't take long before Ron rejoined them, holding both of them as he too started sobbing, not out of joy but of sorrow…they lost so much that night…

Hermione smiled lightly at him, even if it appeared dark and troubled :

"Maybe…we should go talk somewhere in peace?" she informed him, holding his hand and marching away to somewhere more peaceful, Ron following them slowly.

Harry relaxed down on the sofa, his smile vanishing from his face as he covers his face with his hands, not saying anything to the girl opposite him, who didn't take a seat.

"Oh, Harry…" Hermione mumbled, her hand drifting to his shoulder " I know it wasn't easy to kill him…but we all made sacrifices this night. You killed a monster and saved a lot of lives."

Her hand flew from his shoulder as she sat next to him, not perceiving that he was furrowing his eyebrows, covered by his hands.

"You saved all of us, Harry" she smiled then pushed his hands away from his face, urging him to look at her. She didn't foresee the face he was doing though…it was a face full of rage.

"Why?" he questioned her.

Hermione stared at him in puzzlement as he asked those words. Usually, the brunette was someone who got things fairly fast, but no matter how much she sought, she couldn't find any purpose to that question.

"Why…?" she reciprocated his question, making the raven-haired boy more turbulent.

"Why did it have to be me!?" he whispered grimly, making the girl next to him wince, the venomous timbre in his voice surprising her.

"Harry" she shifted imperceptibly away from him "You know you were prophesied to kill that mons-"

"Don't call him that!" he snarled, getting up from the sofa and gazing down at her with pursed lips "It's not his fault that the world made him like that… he was just an innocent boy dirtied by the world."

Hermione stared in shock up at the younger boy. Her hands quivered as she felt the magic coming out in streams from the boy, something shattering near them as the boy let out a shuddering gasp out his mouth.

For the first time in her life…Hermione was terrified of Harry. That magic…held something dark.

Harry sensed her fear, causing a bitter laugh to bubble out through his lips :

"Tell me, Hermione…" he leaned down and gazed into her eyes, his hands gliding toward her cheek, cradling it and imitating a gesture of tenderness that was fictitious on those icy hands "What do you think about this world?"

"Harry…" Hermione murmured as she tried not to recoil away from those freezing hands "I don't know how to answer you."

Harry squinted as all malice and hatred vanished from his face, revealing nothing but a hollow gaze. It followed by a sad face:

"You know…" he complained, plopping down next to her as if he hadn't been looking at her cruelly instants ago "In second year…I fell in love with him"

He giggled at the troubled face the brunette was making to him. His hand stretched up to the light on the ceiling, going as if to grab it :

"He made me sense something no other twelve years old would be capable of feeling" his hands flew to rub his lips, a small blush spreading on his cheeks "I wish someone else would be capable of doing that again…"

Hermione gawked at him in terror :

"Harry…what did he do to yo-" before she could say anything else, an arm swept down from behind to grasp Harry's shoulder, urging him to get up and turn to stare at an enraged Ron.

The raven-haired boy gawked in a stupor at the ginger-haired boy as he glanced back at him in rage. Harry didn't know since when Ron has been here, perhaps he followed them and has been there since the start.

It didn't matter, because, from that face, he knew the boy knew enough to reject him.

"HOW COULD YOU!?" the boy shrieked, spit settling on Harry's face as he was shoved onto the floor, the ginger-haired boy wandering around the sofa before standing next to Harry, watching down at him with sharp, blue eyes.

"How can you say and…feel such things for that monster?" he asked, snarling at him as he bent down to grasp Harry's arm and driving him up "He exterminated so many people…he killed members of my family…and he nearly killed Ginny in second year!"

Hermione got up from the couch with a panicked face, trying to hold Ron's arm back as he attempted to punch Harry on the front. Obviously, with Seeker's reflex, he avoided it.

"Ron…" he muttered as he once again avoided another punch " I can't-" he didn't get to finish his phrase as pain suddenly flared from his face, making him fall on the floor as blood runs down his nose, green eyes staring up in shock at him, Hermione sobbing on the background as she was too pushed to the floor.

"NO!" he yelled at Harry "You betrayed me by saying those things…by feeling those things!" he growled.

"Betrayal…?" that seemed to be the last word Harry wanted to hear from Ron, as he pushed himself up, his bloodied face staring up at Ron, who was a lot bigger than him.

Laughs went out from his mouth :

"YOU of all people dare to say that?" he giggled, finding this amusing. Then it came to a stop, hands pushing Ron away as he started yelling at him :

"WHO abandoned me in fourth year?"

Push

"WHO is always jealous of me, telling things to other people behind my back!?"

Push

"WHO abandoned us in the middle of the hunt!?"

Push

Harry knew that it wasn't all of Ron's fault, especially while they were hunting the Horcrux, but…he couldn't take it anymore. He had enough.

He…sometimes wishes he would be free of magic, going back to be a normal boy…or as usual as a freak could be.

Ron's face turned red, and he opened to say something more, but Harry didn't hear anything of it. Black spots started appearing on his eyes, slowly shutting down his mind.

He just heard twin screams before he lost conscience :

"HARRY!?"