What you have just read is the dialogue of a normal, sensible human being. Lexi, however, was not a sensitive human being, for the only thing going through her head was: well I guess I won't have any school.
It did not bother Lexi the slightest that she was the only being that appeared to be on Earth. It did quite the opposite, actually. Lexi was thrilled to be the only person alive. Think of all the possibilities! This is exactly what Lexi was thinking. She could read forever, steal without being arrested, and miss out on school. A perfect life.
Lexi stood up from her hanging chair, walked downstairs to the fridge and pulled out and In N Out strawberry milkshake. As she sat down at the empty dinner table, she pulled out a notebook and started writing.
Lexi started out simple the title labeling: Things To Do If You're The Only Person On Earth. You see, Lexi was not planning on being bored on her time here at Earth. She was going to treat this like a Perfect Weekend Plan. Lexi was really overqualified for this work. Keeping busy (a.k.a. procrastinating) was her best talent.
As Lexi wrote down her thoughts she came across a very clear and problematic roadblock, she didn't know how to drive. Sure she was 19...and you are supposed to pass the test at 16...So what if she never got her drivers license?
In all reality, a 12 year old was probably better off when it came to transportation (and public transportation for the likes of it.) Lexi had never passed her drivers test and after trying up to the age of 17, she gave up on it. Maybe it was her chaotic tendencies or the inability to drive in a straight line. Normally Lexi could handle stressful or annoying situations but when it came to the road, every emotion and sense was tripled by ten.
But in a world with no public safety in question, would it even matter? Probably not, Lexi concluded. With the driving issue out of the way, she still had to wonder about traveling over seas. Driving a boat can't be that hard, could it?
Lexi pushed the notebook away from her in exasperation. This whole 'thinking thing' was giving her a headache. She took a sip of her strawberry milkshake and sighed. I'll probably die of some zombie apocalypse before I get this all sorted out.
Thinking that, Lexi stood up straighter. That actually probably was the reason she was the only one on the Earth. There had been a zombie virus break out and everyone had gotten to secret bunker, only the call to get to the bunker was really early so Lexi had slept in and missed it.
Sad, nobody told me.
Lexi laughed at that remark and picked up the notebook, her spirits revived.
...
A WEEK LATER.
A week had gone by, still no sign of any visible life, and Lexi loved it. She had spent the entire week robbing the library, writing enough one-shots she could make a one-shot book, and eating nothing but Pop Tarts.
It was heaven in its finest form.
However, Lexi had gotten a little lonely at one point. It was easily bypassed by the discovery of her neighbors' pet bunny, Waddles.
She was entirely startled when a white ball of kinetic energy dashed through her yard. It took awhile, but Lexi was finally able to catch the little creature and trap it in her humble home. Incredibly, it's diet consisted of Pop Tarts also. They were a perfect match.
It came as a surprise when Lexi found out that animals shared this people-less world with her. A surprise, but nonetheless a welcomed one.
Lexi was sitting- more accurately described as 'laying as if dead' -on a regal looking cushioned couch. Waddles was currently trying the run up a wall which, sufficient to say, was not working too well.
Draped over the couch, Lexi was bawling her eyes out binge-watching her favorite series: DuckTales. Her friends had always thought of her as a deranged, crazy person when she fangirled over it during lunch. They don't know how good it is, she had insisted to herself.
It didn't matter now, though. They aren't here anymore, Lexi painfully recalled. She quickly brushed the thought off and turned her attention back to the fading screen.
But before Lexi could answer Netflix's concerned 'are you still watching this?', there was a knock at the door. Lexi's lazyness kicked in instantly and she ignored it. Until she froze with realization.
She was supposedly the only human on the Earth.
Animals can't knock on doors.
Here comes the zombies.
Lexi bounced off of the couch with incredible efficiency for someone who hadn't moved from the couch for a week, and slammed into the door, dragging it open with no grace at all.
Lexi opened the door to a old shriveled up man in a black cloak.
He looks like a elf. A elf that would give me a quest, Lexi thought.
The old elf man dropped into an exageratted bow in front of Lexi. "My Lady, I am-"
"Are you an elf?" Lexi interrupted.
The elf man looked up, startled. "Uh, well no..I-"
"Are you going to give me a quest?" Lexi asked suspiciously.
This was the perfect set up for some life-changing adventure. She could smell it in the air. The smell of danger.
"Listen little elf dude-" Lexi stated.
"Um...well actually I'm a-" The old elf man bardged in.
"Don't want to hear it." The elf shrank back.
"Anyway, Listen little elf dude, I am perfectly fine with this loner life I have going on here and no I do not want to help you go slay some dragons or fight evil war lords."
The shocked old elf man opened his mouth in protest.
"I-"
"Oh and I don't want any girl scout cookies. Or old elf man cookies whatever they call them these days."
The elf man fell silent. Suspiciously silent. Lexi was starting to think he was dead. That was until he brought out a cursed-looking object out of his cloak and thrust it at her.
Everything seemed to go in slow motion as Lexi predicted the item was somehow cursed and tried to escape the cube hurrdleing through the air.
Then the cube touched Lexi's skin and it was all over. Both Lexi and the cube disappeared. The last thing Lexi saw from this world is the creepy elf's smile and Waddles eating a Pop Tart. Then she was gone from Earth, disappeared with nothing but her last words still hanging in the air.
" NO WAIT I DONT WANT TO BE A PROTAGONIST-"