Absolute parody. I think this might be the first fanfic I ever wrote, too. Anyway, enjoy! More notes at the bottom!
Glorfindel, formerly Lord of the House of the Golden Flower, currently of Imladris, was bored. It was two in the morning. He had just finished polishing all of his alarming sharp, shiny weapons, and now he could see his face in them, except for his blond eyebrows. Eyebrows… Glorfindel decided to prank Elrond.
Glorfindel took one of his sharp, shiny knives and headed to Elronds room. He began to carefully cut off one of Elrond's eyebrows. "Ah ha! I've caught you Glorfindel!"
This exclamation scared Glorfindel, and the knife went flying across the room. It didn't hurt Elrond because he is a wise and powerful Elf Lord. Oh yeah, and bearer of the ring Vilya, but shhh! No one is supposed to know about that.
Anyway, Glorfindel didn't finish his prank, and so Elrond, owner of the patented Eyebrows of Doom was now the owner of the Eyebrow of Doom.
Elrond looked lopsided. Elrond felt lopsided. Just then, a messenger ran in with news that Sauron was back as a Great Eye…and Eyebrow.
Elrond was smart. He figured out how to use Vilya to steal Sauron's eyebrow and stick it to his own head until his real eyebrow grew back…which it did, and then all of Rivendell gathered to watch Elrond extinguish the Eyebrow of Sauron. How he wore it without getting burned, nobody knows.
And that is why Sauron has no eyebrows.
Hey. So, if any of you are reading the Citizen Soldier 'verse, I am so sorry. I meant to have the next story of that up weeks ago, but my documents are in the wrong format, and I have no way to get them back in shape. Just be patient, please, and I'll get that uploaded, I promise.