A/N: Just a little continuation after the elevator scene in "Must be Held Accountable", so spoilers for 21x09, 21x10. I might have messed with the time of day a little- but I wanted them to be alone-so having the kids sleeping seemed like the best option. Sonny/Amanda friendship.
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Sonny watched as Amanda fumbled with the keys and attempted to unlock the door to her apartment. The door opened partway and the nanny, Sienna, peeked her head out. She looked relieved when she saw the detectives and she opened the door all the way to let them in.
"Thank you," Amanda said softly, moving past the girl, "Are they-" she gestured to the bedroom.
"Yes, they're both asleep," she nodded. Amanda smiled and disappeared into Jesse's bedroom.
"Hey, uh, thanks for staying," Sonny paused awkwardly. He didn't know the nanny well, but he knew Amanda trusted her and was appreciative- and that the girls adored her.
"No problem," Sienna grabbed her coat and backpack, "Is she okay?" concern filled her dark eyes.
"Yeah," Sonny smiled, "She's okay. A little shaky, but not hurt."
"Good. I, uh, let her know if she needs anything to call me?"
"Of course. Thanks again," Sienna left quickly and Sonny locked the door behind her.
He walked the doorway of Jesse's room and peeked in. The princess night-light in the corner of the girl's room gave off just enough light he was able to see Jesse, sleeping, hugging a stuffed animal of some sort. Amanda was on her knees next the bed, her head down, one hand gently holding her daughter's. He heard a soft sniffle and took a step back, feeling bad for intruding on the reunion. He took off his coat and carefully hung it on the back of a chair. He removed his tie and vest, also hanging them up.
He went back to the kitchen and opened the fridge, not surprised to find it almost empty. He knew she wouldn't be in the mood to eat, but he didn't know if Bucci had fed them-and he wanted to prepare something. He was Italian; food was comfort, and food was caring, two things Amanda desperately needed at the moment. He found some noodles and a jar of sauce in the cabinet, and started some water to boil. He turned and leaned against the sink, carefully rolling up his shirt sleeves.
He watched as Amanda crossed from one room to the other, without acknowledging him, and shut the door behind her. Truthfully, she knew he was still there and she was grateful for it. She wasn't ready to be alone just yet. But she needed to see her babies first.
Amanda emerged from the bedroom thirty minutes later in shorts and a tank top, her hair damp and wavy around her face. "Hey—you're still here…" she said softly, looking at her watch, "you have an arraignment tomorrow. Go get some rest," she offered aloud, her eyes pleading with him to stay.
Sonny shook his head, "You and I both know I'll get more sleep on your couch than I would in my own bed. I'll be fine. Are you hungry?" he asked. She noticed the pan on the stove, and shook her head.
"No, thanks, you didn't have to do that," Amanda said softly. Sonny smiled and handed her a small glass, which she did accept. She took a little sip of the amber colored liquid and made a face, "That's the last time I buy the cheap stuff…" she tipped her head back and downed the shot. She knew it wasn't the wisest decision, but she wanted to relax-even just a little.
"Are you sure you don't want to try a little food? When was the last time you ate?" the concern in his eyes was obvious, and Amanda felt bad for worrying him. She knew how scared she would have been if the roles were reversed, if something had happened to him.
"No, I'm okay. Thank you for being here."
"Are you tired? Do you want to go to bed?"
She shook her head again, now that she was home safe and the adrenaline rush was gone, she was exhausted. "I'm so tired but I don't think I can fall asleep yet. My mind is still racing."
Sonny smiled, Amanda always did have a habit of over thinking things, "The whisky should help that. Come sit." He grabbed his glass and led her over to the couch. He sat on one end, settling into his usual spot. She sat down slowly and then turned, so she was laying down with her head next to his thigh and her bare feet resting on the opposite arm.
She closed her eyes and put her hand up to her forehead, the other arm draped over her midsection. Sonny studied her carefully, searching for any signs of mistreatment at the hands of Bucci. Amanda caught his gaze and sighed, "I'm fine, Sonny, really," she assured him, "Look, not even a bruise."
"Okay, okay. So then, what did happen?"
Amanda shrugged, "We talked."
"Bucci talked?" Sonny didn't believe that for a minute.
"Okay, I talked and he listened."
Sonny raised an eyebrow, "Bucci listened? To you?"
"More or less… mostly less," Amanda sighed, "Turns out I talk better with a gun to my head than when I'm paying $100 an hour, so… I guess I learned that about myself."
Sonny took a small drink and nodded silently. The silence between them felt awkward and Amanda struggled to find something to fill the silence. "I'm sorry," she said finally.
Sonny's brow furrowed with concern, "For what? Amanda, this wasn't your fault. The guy is clearly-"
"No, I know that," she rolled her eyes, "I just…" she gave a little shrug, "I've just never actually lied to you before. Maybe if I hadn't, you guys would have found us sooner or something…" After a pause, Amanda said, "Dr. Hanover? She was still okay when you found her?"
"Yes," Sonny nodded, "I called her and I let her know that you're alright. And she said that if you need to talk, to give her a call and she'll rearrange her schedule," Sonny swirled the liquid in his glass, "I'm not mad…About Dr. Hanover…" he shrugged, "You need to take care of yourself, Rollins, for yourself and for those girls in there," he gestured in the direction of the bedroom. "If that means talking to someone…I understand," he gave her a playful grin, "And besides, I don't always tell you everything either."
Amanda laughed, "Yeah, you do."
"I do…" he repeated softly, taking another drink. They fell into silence again, and Amanda anxiously fiddled with the hem of her shirt. She knew Sonny well enough to know he wasn't going to like what she was about to say.
"Hey, Carisi… I, uh… Do me a favor?"
"Anything," Sonny promised, "What do you need?" Amanda sat up quickly and faced Sonny, tucking her feet under her.
"Make him a deal, Carisi, please."
Sonny shook his head and let out a distressed sigh, "Amanda, I can't- I won't."
"Please."
"He could have killed you," Sonny's voice raised and Amanda reached out to shush him before he could wake the girls.
"But he didn't. Sonny, he did it for his girls. You can't understand… When your kids are hurting or in danger…nothing else matters. You don't know what you would do for them until-"
"Bullshit!" Sonny shook his head, certain she was losing her mind, "And you're right. I don't understand… I'm not their dad, but I would take a bullet for your girls before I would let them get hurt- you know that. But to take a cop hostage- especially one who had only been trying to help him… I don't get it," Sonny looked up and saw her blue eyes filled with tears. He hated it when she cried. He took a deep breath and sighed, "Damn it, Amanda..." he muttered, "Yes, okay. I will make Bucci a deal. I won't make you testify against him," he relented.
"Thank you, Sonny," Amanda leaned over and wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tightly. He reached up and rubbed small, gentle circles on her back. She sniffled, her head buried in his shoulder, and her body shook with the effort of trying not to cry. He whispered into her hair, trying to comfort the blonde. Sonny held her close, until eventually her breathing became slow and regular, and she fell asleep in his arms.
