Thank You, Heavenly
Theme Song: "Let It Roll" by Divide the Day
SEASON 8
EPISODE 15
Airdate: March 22, 2020
"My Interview with the CimFam"
Special Guest Stars: Cimorelli (Christina, Katherine, Lisa, Amy, and Lauren Cimorelli) as Themselves, Dani Cimorelli as Herself
#TYH816
SCENE 1
Buster is listening to the radio while driving when he hears the sound of a cowbell. The acoustic version of "I Like It" by Cimorelli begins playing in the background.
RADIO DJ (V.O.): And it's about that time for another radio giveaway here at KFLEX. Two front-row seats to an upcoming Cimorelli concert here in Seattle. If you don't know, Cimorelli is country, pop, and Christianity all rolled into one. And it was their idea for a lucky listener to get an opportunity to see them live!
BUSTER: I can't believe this. I have to win those tickets!
Buster pulls over and parks so he can listen more closely to the radio broadcast.
RADIO DJ (V.O.): Getting these tickets is real easy. All you have to do is be the twentieth caller right now and you'll get to see these soulful sisters up close and personal!
Buster gets his phone out and begins calling.
RADIO DJ (V.O.): Hmmm, don't seem to be getting any calls. I mean, these giveaways usually come in hot, but, uh...seriously, nothing? I mean, hello?
BUSTER: I'M BUSTER NEWMAN! Wait a minute, I'm not the twentieth caller!
RADIO DJ (V.O.): You know what? I don't see anybody else calling in. The tickets are yours, kid.
BUSTER: YES! I won by default!
RADIO DJ (V.O.): Yup, you did. Congratulations, Buster Newman! You and the guest of your choosing get to see Cimorelli live!
BUSTER: I'd like to thank everyone for making this happen. I want to say what's up to my buddies Sparky, RK, Wade, and Jaylynn. Um, my cat LPC who's probably listening at home. And I want to thank my second grade gym teacher Mr. Fitzgerald for never giving up on me. He told me to keep playing dodgeball even though my knees were killing me and I did that today. You hear me, Mr. Fitzgerald?! I played with bum knees!
SCENE 2
The MacDougal Household
Interior Living Room
Seattle, Washington
Later that day, Buster walks in with a smug look on his face.
SPARKY: Hey Buster, what's going on?
BUSTER: Oh, nothing much. Just the same old grind as usual.
SPARKY: Okay. You came to watch some TV?
BUSTER: Of course. But before you turn the TV on, I want you to take a look at what I drop on this here coffee table.
Buster puts an envelope on the table.
SPARKY: You wrote me a letter?
BUSTER: Oh no. But I did give you something that you're going to remember for the rest of your life.
Buster takes the Cimorelli tickets out of the envelope.
SPARKY: What are these, WrestleMania tickets?
BUSTER: Ewww. God, no. No, these are Cimorelli tickets. They're coming to Seattle for the first time ever! Front row seats, plus a chance to meet with them and chop it up about nonsense.
SPARKY: Oh, really? I don't know, I think you should take someone else.
BUSTER: Why? Are you afraid you'll get so nervous around them, you'll start stuttering and talking about random subjects? The same thing happened to me once.
Cut to a flashback sequence of Buster meeting the mayor of Seattle in his office, with the rest of the guys surrounding him.
MAYOR: Buster, I was impressed by your essay. You really captured the spirit of the average person living in Seattle.
BUSTER: Yes, that's what I'm about, spirit. I've...I've always been, uh...real spiritual. I got so much spirit, they should have made me a cheerleader. *laughs with a pig-sounding snort* You know, in ancient China, there's this theory that spirit is directly related to man. And then, these days, you know, these days, in our...modern times, rappers have told us that they want your spirit and that ass, if that's what gets you going.
SPARKY: Buster, the mayor left five minutes ago.
Buster looks around and sees that the mayor is gone.
BUSTER: Oh no, he took the cheesecake too?!
Cut back to the present day.
SPARKY: Definitely not that. I just don't like Cimorelli anymore.
Beat.
BUSTER: Are you in trouble?
SPARKY: What?
BUSTER: Look, if you're with a pedophile right now, blink three times, then two times fast. I'll create a diversion so you can escape and get the car started.
SPARKY: There's no pedophile here. I'm not a fan of Cimorelli.
BUSTER: Oh, okay. I see what's going on here. You're not really Sparky. You're an exact replica of Sparky created by the government to test my intelligence. Well, it won't work, you losers, I know who my best friend is!
SPARKY: BUSTER! There's nothing going on here. I don't care about Cimorelli anymore. I'm over them.
BUSTER: I can't believe this. But you loved Cimorelli more than anyone. You had all those weird, explicitly detailed dreams about them and everything.
SPARKY: Well, they weren't bad dreams, but things change. They just don't do it for me anymore.
Beat.
BUSTER: So, just to be clear, you don't need any help with a predator?
Sparky gives Buster an annoyed look.
SCENE 3
The Newman Condominium
Interior Living Room
Seattle, Washington
That night, Buster is talking to RK, Wade, and Jaylynn.
JAYLYNN: Are you serious?
BUSTER: One hundred percent. It was so devastating, I felt like crying. But I didn't want him to think I was a pussy.
RK: Man, you were right to tell me to hurry up in the shower. This is huge.
WADE: Is it? I don't get what the big deal is. So, he doesn't like Cimorelli anymore, it's not a crime.
BUSTER: Wade, don't you get it? Sparky being a Cimorelli fan is one of his things. If he's not, then all of a sudden, the laws of the universe change. Then you're no longer a scientist, Jaylynn thinks Demi Lovato is a loser, RK's trying to get TV banned in America, and me? I don't know, maybe I become a professor at Harvard or something.
WADE: You're spiraling, man.
BUSTER: You're right. I should be a professor at Stanford, it's closer to home.
WADE: I mean, we're all going to be okay. Sparky's just growing up, it's not something we have to be concerned about.
JAYLYNN: I don't know, bro, he's only ten. You don't go from loving a band to hating them unless there's a reason for it.
RK: Of course, the reason. Do we have a reason?
BUSTER: No. He never gave a reason.
RK: Oh, then we're getting a reason. Because if we don't, I'll be on Capitol Hill in a monkey suit shitting on TV. I have too much pride for that.
SCENE 4
The MacDougal Household
Interior Living Room
Seattle, Washington
The kids walk into Sparky's house while he watches TV.
SPARKY: Hey guys, how's it hanging?
BUSTER: How come you didn't accept those Cimorelli tickets?
SPARKY: Shit, not this again.
BUSTER: Yup, this again.
JAYLYNN: Sparky, we're just a little concerned. You've been crazy about Cimorelli for years and now, you just don't like them anymore?
SPARKY: I don't see what the problem is. I'm getting older, my tastes are going to change.
JAYLYNN: You're ten.
SPARKY: Yeah, but I'm getting older mentally. That's what's really important.
RK: I just want to know how it happened. Did you wake up one day and see them for how mediocre they really were, or was it more of a gradual thing that took months to develop?
SPARKY: How about I just took a look at my life and realized there are many things I have to leave in the past?
BUSTER: Oh no. Are you going to break up with Halley too?!
SPARKY: No! Look, guys, I just don't like Cimorelli anymore. End of story.
WADE: That's enough of an explanation for me. Can we go now?
JAYLYNN: No. Sparky, since you don't like Cimorelli anymore, then I guess you cleaned up your room, right?
SPARKY: Why would I clean up my room?
JAYLYNN: Well, you probably have a lot of junk up there. Junk related to six white girls who happen to sing?
SPARKY: Jaylynn, you're way off base here. There's no junk in my room.
SCENE 5
The MacDougal Household
Interior Bedroom
Seattle, Washington
The kids are in Sparky's room looking at all of his Cimorelli memorabilia.
BUSTER: I knew it. I knew you didn't really mean everything you said.
SPARKY: Just because I still have this merchandise, doesn't mean I'm not moving on from Cimorelli.
RK: You sure? Because this feels like the opposite.
WADE: What's this? You have something called Summer with Cimorelli on DVD?
SPARKY: Please don't watch that. I'm telling you that for your own sake, not mine. And don't watch it on YouTube either because that violates what I just said.
RK: What the hell? You have all of their CDs here?
SPARKY: Why would I not? I like collecting things.
RK: I didn't even know some of this stuff existed. Like this EP here. Why are they holding up umbrellas? Who's that supposed to impress?
SPARKY: You're overanalyzing it.
JAYLYNN: Sparky, are you sure you don't like Cimorelli anymore? This room is almost like a shrine to them.
SPARKY: Look, guys, I liked the band so I became a serious collector. Now that I've outgrown them, I have a lot of things to get rid of.
RK: How come you have one of their albums on vinyl? Who made this?!
SPARKY: If you know a guy, you know them. It's not that complicated.
SCENE 6
iCarly Elementary School
Interior Hallway
Seattle, Washington
Buster, RK, Wade, and Jaylynn are talking near their lockers the next day.
JAYLYNN: You're stupid. Magilla Gorilla would kill Yogi Bear's ass.
RK: Okay, maybe. But does that help Magilla Gorilla get the pic-a-nic basket? I don't think so, Boo Boo.
JAYLYNN: Why are you doing a Gilcania impression?
RK: But you just...what?
BUSTER: You guys can talk about Scooby Doo later, we have bigger problems. What are we going to do about Sparky?
RK: Call him a basic teenage white girl who still thinks it's 2011 and keep it moving?
WADE: I don't know, I think Buster's on to something. It felt like Sparky was defending himself when we were looking at his merchandise. He's probably hiding the truth.
JAYLYNN: Yeah, but what's the truth? This whole thing is so weird and we still don't have a reason yet.
BUSTER: What we need to do is prove that Sparky still loves Cimorelli. Then he can tell us what's really going on.
RK: This is what it's come to, huh? This is our adventure right now?
JAYLYNN: Dude, why are you so negative all the time?
RK: Oh, Anna's out of town. I'm just trying to cope with it by being bitter about everything.
SCENE 7
The MacDougal Household
Interior Living Room
Seattle, Washington
Sparky is watching TV when Buster walks in.
BUSTER: How's it going, Sparky?
SPARKY: If you're here to talk about Cimorelli, forget it. I'm over them.
BUSTER: I know you are, bud. I just wanted to know how your day was.
SPARKY: But you spent at least half of it with me. Wouldn't you know?
BUSTER: Probably, but what about the other half? The non-Buster half that's too juicy to talk about?
SPARKY: Well, I think I failed my science test. It's my fault, though, I didn't study enough.
BUSTER: Hey, these things happen. But just remember that a wise man once said, "You're more than labels, more than pain. Baby, you're more than your mistakes."
SPARKY: What's happening? What are you doing here?
BUSTER: Nothing. I just felt like you needed to hear that. Hey, the Skyrizi commercial's back!
SPARKY: You like that ad too?
BUSTER: Of course. The song's catchy as hell.
SPARKY: I know, right? It sounds really familiar.
BUSTER: It does?
SPARKY: Yeah, like I've heard it before from some artist. I just can't figure out who.
BUSTER: Hmmm, well, maybe...it sounds like Cimorelli...you'll figure it out a lot sooner than you think.
SPARKY: Are you kidding me?
BUSTER: Beg pardon?
SPARKY: You didn't think I heard that? If you're going to do subliminal messages, you have to make sure I can't hear them.
BUSTER: I'm sorry, man? Is there any way my subliminals will ever be good enough?
SPARKY: Alright, for the last time, Buster, I don't want to talk about Cimorelli anymore. They were a phase, I outgrew them.
BUSTER: You know you still like them. You just have to look me in the eyes and admit it.
SPARKY: Fine. I'll admit that you need to leave.
BUSTER: You're really kicking out your best friend?
SPARKY: Wouldn't be the first time. Now, hit the bricks.
BUSTER: I don't have to take this. I'm gonna hit the bricks.
Buster leaves the house and slams the door. Bitch Clock walks in from the kitchen.
BITCH CLOCK: You know he's not going to give up, right?
SPARKY: Do you eavesdrop on all my conversations when you're in there?
BITCH CLOCK: Only the ones that get saucy. And I don't know what your problem is, just tell your friends why you really don't f*** with Cimorelli anymore.
SPARKY: I can't, it's too complicated. They'll think I'm being irrational.
BITCH CLOCK: Sparky, standing up to your friends is a part of life. Just last week, I had to sit my buddies down and let them know that I couldn't lie to them anymore. I like wine coolers, and if that makes me gay, then I might as well march with the LGBT.
SPARKY: So, what did they do?
BITCH CLOCK: They tried making fun of me but I threatened to beat the shit out of them. I bet you they'll never fix their mouth to call me a homosexual.
SPARKY: I'm not gonna bother unpacking any of that.
SCENE 8
iCarly Elementary School
Interior Hallway
Seattle, Washington
Sparky is at his locker the next day when Halley walks up to him.
HALLEY: Hey Sparky.
SPARKY: No, you don't sound like Lisa! You don't!
HALLEY: What kind of girls have you been messing around with?
SPARKY: Nobody, I was remembering some weird dream I had last night. I'm just tired of the guys grilling me about Cimorelli.
HALLEY: Oh yeah, I heard about that. Why do they care so much? It's not like it's hurting anybody.
SPARKY: That's exactly what I'm thinking. See, I'm glad you get it and you're not trying to do something ridiculous to get an explanation out of me.
Halley gives Sparky a worried look.
SPARKY: What?
HALLEY: I'm sorry, I can't do this. Guys, he's on to me, it's over!
At that point, Buster, RK, Wade, and Jaylynn emerge from four empty lockers.
JAYLYNN: It's not over. We're paying you for this.
HALLEY: I'm pretty sure he was gonna figure it out!
SPARKY: What's going on here?
BUSTER: Well, Halley's chickening out of the plan.
HALLEY: Oh, so that's how it is now, Buster?
SPARKY: What plan?!
WADE: Halley was going to read from a script that, in RK's words, would "evoke positive memories of Cimorelli and restore your undying love for them."
SPARKY: So RK wrote the whole thing, huh? Was this supposed to be another one of your lame-ass signature moments?
RK: It was a team effort, how dare you?
HALLEY: I think you guys have a lot to discuss. I'll see you later, Sparky.
Halley kisses Sparky on the cheek and walks away.
SPARKY: Do you guys have anything to say?
JAYLYNN: In our defense, Halley wasn't supposed to tell you we paid her.
SPARKY: You were the one who admitted that!
JAYLYNN: Right. Skip me, I need another defense.
SPARKY: I can't believe this. You guys are supposed to be my friends, the ones who I trust more than anybody, but all you've been doing lately is harass and manipulate me. And now, you're using my girlfriend against me?!
BUSTER: Look, we're sorry if we've been a little over the top, but we're just worried about you. Ever since you told me you don't like Cimorelli anymore, you've been acting different.
SPARKY: There's nothing different about me, but there's everything different about you.
WADE: Sparky, just let us in so we can finish this. Why don't you like Cimorelli anymore? What are you trying so desperately to hide?
Sparky sighs.
SPARKY: Okay, you want the honest truth? I realized that their music is trash. I can't listen to it anymore, it hits my ears in a weird way now.
RK: I knew it.
WADE: Okay, this is constructive. Now, we can...
SPARKY: I mean, you know how you have deja vu because this day feels a lot like the day you just had? That's how I feel listening to Cimorelli. You have your love songs, you have your breakup songs, you have your self-empowerment songs, and then you have your breakup songs that are secretly love songs, but they're just confused about which category they should be in.
RK: Damn.
JAYLYNN: I think that's enough for me.
SPARKY: No, I've been holding this in too long. Now, I'm not saying they can't sing because they can, but who is their music really for? What can they do that other artists can't? They don't have hits like Ariana Grande, they're not interesting like Billie Eilish, they don't have that superstar quality like Taylor Swift. You play them next to Jojo Siwa and the Disney Channel actors that just so happen to make music. Never in your life will you hear the words, "Put on that new Cimorelli track." Nobody is playing Cimorelli in the streets.
BUSTER: I'm gonna be honest, I'm not, either.
SPARKY: You know what? Thank you for making me do this, guys. I really had to let that off my chest.
Sparky smiles as he leaves the guys.
JAYLYNN: I'm not the only one who was shocked by that, right?
RK: This is the happiest I've been in a long time.
SCENE 9
The Newman Condominium
Interior Living Room
Seattle, Washington
The guys, minus Sparky, are watching TV after school.
BUSTER: I still can't believe Sparky disowned Cimorelli like that.
RK: He made some good points, though. You're never going to hear them played in the streets.
WADE: How would you know? You don't have your ear to the streets.
RK: That's your answer. Even I know they don't have any credibility out in these parts.
JAYLYNN: I guess we just have to let it go. Sparky's moving on and we need to accept that.
BUSTER: I'm just wondering when he's planning to throw away his merchandise. That's a lot to get rid of.
WADE: Wait, what? Buster, what did you just say?
BUSTER: That's a lot to get rid of?
WADE: No, before that.
BUSTER: About his merchandise that he hasn't thrown away? Yeah, Halley told me it's all still in his room. We both thought it was weird, but it's best to forget about it and look the other way.
JAYLYNN: Holy shit! Do you know what this means?
RK: Sparky's a hoarder?
WADE: I think it means that Sparky lied to us today. He said he would throw away his Cimorelli merchandise weeks ago. If he hates them so much now, why keep all their stuff?
BUSTER: For the memories, obviously. You guys have to try and...oh, no, he played us!
JAYLYNN: Or he tried to play us. The truth is still out there, and I think I know exactly how to get it.
RK: Alright, it looks like Sparky still loves Cimorelli. But can we please agree that they get no love in the streets?
BUSTER: I already said that they don't.
JAYLYNN: Is that even a question?
WADE: You care too much about this, but yeah.
RK: Thank you. I just wanted to clear that up.
SCENE 10
The MacDougal Household
Interior Living Room
Seattle, Washington
Sparky walks in one day and sees the guys going through his box of Cimorelli merchandise.
SPARKY: What the hell are you guys doing here?!
The guys look at Sparky with confusion.
SPARKY: I mean, what an unexpected surprise.
RK: Don't worry, Sparko, Bitch Clock let us in. We were just looking at all your Cimorelli paraphernalia.
SPARKY: Any reason why?
JAYLYNN: Well, you inspired us, bro. After everything you said about the band, we decided to help you move on from them.
BUSTER: Yeah, you don't really need this stuff anymore, do you?
SPARKY: I guess I don't.
WADE: Hey Sparky, any significance with this royal blue shirt?
SPARKY: Yeah, I wore that shirt the day Cimorelli was on Good Morning America. I was so proud of them.
RK: They were on Good Morning America?
SPARKY: It was a different time back then.
WADE: Well, we can just discard this old thing.
Wade cuts up the shirt with scissors. Sparky's eyes begin twitching.
SPARKY: That's fine. Old memories need to die so you can create new ones, it's what I always say.
BUSTER: You know something, Sparky? Since this merchandise isn't really going to sell anywhere, we should burn it.
SPARKY: You probably shouldn't.
BUSTER: Don't worry, it'll be real easy. Alright, guys, dump everything as fast as you can into the fireplace. If you slow down, you're not doing it right.
SPARKY: You guys need to get away from the box.
JAYLYNN: Sparky, it's just part of the healing process. Let's start with the CDs.
SPARKY: Jaylynn, you're going to regret every decision you've ever made if you don't step back.
RK: First, we should burn the one with the umbrellas on the cover. It's freaking me out.
JAYLYNN: Hey, why not?
Sparky screams as he tackles the guys and wrestles the box away from them.
SPARKY: All of you are disgusting! This is my life you're throwing away!
RK: Why do you care? You hate Cimorelli now.
SPARKY: No, I don't! Okay, I do, but it's not what you think!
WADE: You want to make an educated guess on what we think?
SPARKY: Alright, alright, it's time to tell you the real honest truth. I don't like Cimorelli because they changed. They're the problem, not me.
RK: They finally decided to sing about something else?
SPARKY: No. Look, a couple months ago, I found out that Dani was leaving the band.
BUSTER: Wait, what?!
JAYLYNN: For real?
SPARKY: Yes. You know how devastated I was? For years, no matter what changed or how many things we went through, Cimorelli was the one thing that was always the same. I can't listen to them without Dani. It doesn't make any sense.
WADE: Sparky, bands change all the time. Guys leave, get replaced, come back, leave again. It's part of the natural cycle of life.
JAYLYNN: Yeah, I mean, Paramore's switched out band members a lot. It doesn't change the way I listen to them.
SPARKY: But this is a family band we're talking about. Would you want to listen to the Jonas Brothers if it was just two of them?
JAYLYNN: Depends. Is it up to me who gets kicked out?
RK: So, you really don't think their music is formulaic and repetitive?
SPARKY: Not the way you think it is, no. Look, after Dani left, things just felt different. Their music didn't sound right. I didn't want anything to do with them, so I tried acting like they were a phase.
BUSTER: You were never going to throw away your merchandise, were you?
SPARKY: Nope. I couldn't do it. But now, I think I should.
RK: Come on, man, it doesn't have to be like that. You can still like Cimorelli and have all those extended dreams about them.
SPARKY: I don't think so. The band that I loved is dead. It's time for me to move on for real. Thanks for making me realize that, guys.
The instrumental to "Let It Roll" plays in the background as the guys look at each other with concern and Sparky goes upstairs.
SCENE 11
The Newman Condominium
Interior Living Room
Seattle, Washington
The guys are watching TV without Sparky.
BUSTER: Do you guys think Sparky really wants to give up Cimorelli?
JAYLYNN: No. He just said that because he's hurt. Whether Dani's in the group or not, that shouldn't change anything.
RK: Wait, which one was Dani again? The cute little one?
BUSTER: No, that's Amy. Dani was the tall one with the raspy voice.
RK: Right, the girl that needed to clear her throat. Yeah, that's a big loss.
WADE: The way I see it, if Sparky gives up Cimorelli forever, he's putting himself down a dangerous path of bitterness and resentment. He'll never be happy with a decision like that.
BUSTER: So, what do we do? It's like I can't even help my best friend.
RK: I bet if we get Sparky to meet Cimorelli, he'll forget all about hating them.
BUSTER: I know what you mean. We dress up like Cimorelli, give Sparky a weird elixir that Wade makes, and we convince him to keep listening to the band.
RK: You were more off the mark than a cross-eyed penguin with hot sauce in its retinas. I mean, we arrange it so Sparky finally meets Cimorelli for real. No more dreams, no more bullshit, he sees them in the living flesh.
JAYLYNN: I don't know why, but I'm getting excited.
BUSTER: RK, how are we supposed to make that happen? Cimorelli is a band with YouTube money, we're just a bunch of snot-nosed kids.
RK: You still have the tickets for their concert, right?
BUSTER: Good Lord, Sparky already said he didn't wanna go to the concert. Would you please keep up, man?!
WADE: RK, try breaking it down for him.
RK: Okay, I'll just say everything at once to save time. All four of us go to the Cimorelli concert and sneak backstage to meet the band. We tell them Sparky wants to see them, they agree to see him, Sparky sees them, they get seen, happy ending for everyone, see?
JAYLYNN: Cool idea. But how do we get Cimorelli to see Sparky? They're probably on the road every night.
RK: We improvise. After all, nobody thinks better under pressure than us.
BUSTER: True. We are the best at it. Okay, I'm in. But since I have two tickets, only one of you can be my guest. I don't wanna just come out and say Jaylynn, but it's Jaylynn.
WADE: You literally just came out and said it was Jaylynn.
BUSTER: Well, you guys don't listen to that kind of music. Next time, make my decision harder.
SCENE 12
KeyArena
Seattle, Washington
Buster pulls up with his car on the night of the Cimorelli concert. Jaylynn is in the passenger's seat, and RK and Wade are in the back.
BUSTER: This is it. Our last chance to get the old Sparky back.
WADE: I just wanted to know how we're getting backstage. Security's got to be pretty tight at these arenas.
RK: Don't worry, old buddy. Leave that up to me. I've devoted my life to outsmarting security. Follow my lead and we'll be good to go.
JAYLYNN: I brought my emergency pepper spray just in case your plan sucks.
RK: Damn, man, at least give me a chance.
JAYLYNN: I am. The pepper spray is just insurance, so don't give me a reason to use it.
Cut to the backstage area, where Cimorelli is rehearsing by performing their song "Believe in You."
CHRISTINA: Wait a minute, stop, stop. I'm not getting what I want out of this whole thing.
LISA: Christina, what are you talking about?
CHRISTINA: I'm talking about effort, man. You guys are trying to give 50%. That's not Cimorelli.
KATHERINE: Do you have to repeat the same point before every show?
CHRISTINA: Do you always have to talk about your blog to strangers?
KATHERINE: I'm a self-promoter! If people don't know about it, how are they supposed to find it?
LAUREN: Um, guys?
CHRISTINA: What, Lauren?
KATHERINE: Yeah, what is it, man?
LAUREN: I just hate the negativity before every show, you know? Because that's not what we stand for. We're about love and happiness and having fun. Isn't that what's important?
Beat.
CHRISTINA: That doesn't help improve the rehearsal, though.
RK: Excuse me, ladies?
The girls turn to the side and see Buster, RK, Wade, and Jaylynn.
LISA: Oh my God, kids! Can I bite your legs? Let me get those yummy legs!
JAYLYNN: Aaah, she's gonna kill us!
Jaylynn hides behind Buster.
BUSTER: Okay? My name is Buster, and these are my friends Jaylynn, RK, and Wade.
CHRISTINA: How did you guys get backstage?
WADE: Beats me. I just think the security is kinda lax here.
AMY: Let me guess. You guys told the security that they were selling peanuts outside the arena?
JAYLYNN: No.
AMY: Oh, really? They fall for that every time, it's so stupid.
BUSTER: Look, I'll cut to the chase. My best friend Sparky is a huge fan of you guys. No, scratch that, he's a Godzilla-sized fan. It would mean a lot to him if he could meet all of you.
KATHERINE: That sounds awesome, where is he?
LAUREN: Yeah, we love hardcore fans.
BUSTER: Oh, you thought he was here? Because he's not, I shoulda cleared that up.
LAUREN: Why would you get our hopes up and disappoint us like that?
LISA: I know, right? It's like you want to see me cry.
CHRISTINA: Lisa, nobody wants to see you cry. And kids, unless this is going somewhere, we need to finish rehearsing.
RK: Alright, Cimorelli girls, let's put it all on the table here. Sparky is dying, okay? He has pneumonia. The really aggressive pneumonia that killed Harriet Tubman.
AMY: No way!
RK: Way. Now, Sparky's always been the kind of guy that took what was coming to him. He's already accepted Jesus as his Lord and Savior, and his dying wish is to meet you guys at his house.
LISA: He's Christian too?!
RK: One hundred percent. I know Christians when I see them.
CHRISTINA: Wow, that sounds awful. I mean, we would love to see your friend, but I don't know how much time we have.
BUSTER: Okay. I get that. But listen to this. Sparky's loved you guys for years. He's been a fan ever since you had that crusty white wall in California. He knows all your stories, he always buys things from your website, and he owns all your albums. When your first album came out, he camped out all night just so he could be the first person to buy it at the record store.
KATHERINE: That's supreme dedication.
BUSTER: It is. That's the kind of guy Sparky is. He's loyal, he's devoted, and I just wanted to see him happy again.
LISA: Could we cancel the show and see this kid now, please?
LAUREN: Yeah, this is too emotional for me.
AMY: Guys, don't start crying or I'll start crying.
CHRISTINA: No, no crying until you get on stage! You know what, kids? We'll do it. We're going to make sure we pay Sparky a visit before we leave Seattle this week.
JAYLYNN: Hallelujah!
BUSTER: That's amazing, thanks. But there's one more thing he wanted.
CHRISTINA: What's that?
BUSTER: He wants to see Dani too.
LISA: But Dani's in Nashville right now.
RK: Sparky loves Dani just as much as he loves the rest of you. It wouldn't be the same if she wasn't there.
LISA: But I'm trying to tell you, she's not here. She's at home in Nashville.
WADE: You can't just tell her to fly here and come with you guys to see Sparky?
LISA: You might have changed the whole game right there.
CHRISTINA: Girls, there's a dying kid at stake. We need to do whatever it takes to put a smile on his face. We'll get Dani.
RK: You guys are doing God's work.
LAUREN: Always.
BUSTER: Here's my phone number, my email, and my Twitter. Use any of them, I don't care. But I want to know everything.
CHRISTINA: Don't worry, we'll be in touch the whole time. Enjoy the show, guys.
The kids all stick their thumbs up as they leave the backstage area. Christina takes out her phone.
KATHERINE: You're calling Dani?
CHRISTINA: Have to. But I hope she doesn't try to weasel her way out of this. I didn't spend ten years of my life making music with a weasel.
The phone begins ringing.
LISA: It's ringing, Amy.
AMY: You know that I can hear the same things you hear, right?
CHRISTINA: Hey Dani, what's up? It's Big Chris. Listen, we need you to be on the first plane to Seattle, no questions asked. Beat. I just said "no questions asked," but if you need to know, it's about a little boy who wants to meet you. Beat. Dani, I understand. I know graphic design is really cool and junk. I did it for a couple months too, but this is about being there for the greatest fans in the world. This kid's dying of pneumonia.
Cut to a shot of Dani's phone on the table in Nashville. Cue the reveal that Dani is frantically packing her belongings in a suitcase.
CHRISTINA (V.O.): Hello? Dani? Dani, are you there? Dani, if you don't give me an answer, I'm putting you over my knee when we come back. Is that what you want?
Dani looks up directly at the camera.
DANI: I know I could say I'm coming, but I love hearing Christina ramble.
CHRISTINA (V.O.): I'm going to be a mother soon, this is ridiculous, Dani.
SCENE 13
The MacDougal Household
Interior Living Room
Seattle, Washington
Later that week, Sparky is watching TV when the guys walk in.
RK: Hey Sparko.
SPARKY: What's going on, children?
BUSTER: Well, you know how you always said that you wanted to meet Cimorelli for real?
SPARKY: Yeah, what about it?
Buster pinches Sparky's arm.
SPARKY: Ow! What the hell, man?!
BUSTER: You felt that?
SPARKY: Yes, I did!
BUSTER: That's just to show you that you're not dreaming this time.
SPARKY: What did you guys do?
JAYLYNN: Nothing. We just arranged for you to meet Cimorelli tonight. And they're bringing your girl Dani as a bonus.
SPARKY: Let me get this straight. You guys got Cimorelli to come to my house, and they're bringing Dani too? What's next, you were able to get Big Time Rush to reunite and come over here?
RK: Dude, it's true. They think you're dying of pneumonia and you've already accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior.
SPARKY: And you took advantage of the love they have for their fans? I gotta say, RK, that's not bad. It's the perfect blend of low down and well-intentioned.
WADE: Sparky, this isn't a joke. Cimorelli's going to be here any minute.
SPARKY: Listen, guys, I appreciate you trying to do me a favor. But if I'm really going to believe this cockamamie scheme, I need evidence.
BUSTER: These are texts I've had with Christina. It's the real deal, bud.
SPARKY: Yeah, right. Let me see that.
Sparky chuckles as he looks through the texts on Buster's phone. However, he quickly stops when he realizes their legitimacy, especially as he reads Christina's last text: "Be there in a flash." The camera cuts back and forth between Sparky and the text. Whenever the camera cuts to Sparky, an extreme closeup of his eyes are shown, widened and blinking. Cut to an exterior shot of the house.
SPARKY (V.O.): I'M DYING OF F***ING PNEUMONIA?!
SCENE 14
The MacDougal Household
Seattle, Washington
A black soccer mom van pulls up to Sparky's house that same night. Cut to inside the van, where all the members of Cimorelli are shown, along with Dani.
CHRISTINA: Alright, girls. You ready?
Christina looks to the side and sees Katherine sleeping.
CHRISTINA: Kath? Kath? KATHERINE!
KATHERINE: I'm up! Remember, you guys matter!
CHRISTINA: We're not performing. Look, guys, tonight, we get to make a difference in a young boy's life. We get to give him his dying wish.
DANI: I can't believe he wanted me to show up. I feel like I'm on some kind of spiritual journey.
LAUREN: Hey, it's not about individual pride. It's about the group effort, and the bond that we all share to bring joy to the world.
AMY: Lauren, I don't know if I'm a big fan of your positivity.
LAUREN: Why not? You don't believe I can be more than the quiet one? You don't think I have things to say?
AMY: Lisa, she's talking to you.
LISA: Lauren, I've believed in you your whole life. That's so disrespectful.
CHRISTINA: We have our work cut out for us.
Cut to Sparky looking out the window.
SPARKY: This is crazy. I can't believe you guys would lie about me dying just so this could happen!
RK: You serious? Because this is honestly the only way it could have happened.
SPARKY: I just...I can't do this, I'm not prepared for this. I'm not ready.
BUSTER: You are ready, Sparky. You've been training for this your whole life. You're ready for it.
SPARKY: No, I'm not. Guys, when I had those dreams, things were different. Cimorelli was just a bunch of kids. Now, they're all grown women. Christina's pregnant, Lisa's engaged, Dani's married.
JAYLYNN: Hey, you're not the same person you were when you had those dreams. You're grown too. It's time those girls had a chance to meet you and adore you.
RK: Wait, when the hell did Dani get married?!
SPARKY: It was a whole big thing, I still can't explain it.
The doorbell rings.
SPARKY: And now, I need to pretend I have pneumonia. Quick, Wade, what are the symptoms of pneumonia?!
WADE: Well, if you were dying from it...
SPARKY: Nevermind, I'll wing it.
Sparky jumps on the couch and lays down, then starts coughing.
SPARKY: Open the...door...
Buster opens the door and the girls walk in.
LISA: Oh no, he's a vegetable!
KATHERINE: Lisa, are you serious?
LISA: I'm not saying it like it's a good thing!
JAYLYNN: They really do act like they did in the dreams.
WADE: I guess Sparky's mind knew things we didn't.
SPARKY: Oh my God! Is that...Cimorelli?
CHRISTINA: Yes, it is. We're all here for you, Sparky, including Dani.
DANI: It's true. You're a real special person for what you're going through, Sparky.
SPARKY: This is amazing. I never knew this...day would come.
KATHERINE: Guys, if we're going to do this, we need to do it right. Since Sparky's been a fan of us forever, we should play a whole medley of songs.
LAUREN: We're not doing "Believe It," are we?
CHRISTINA: If this boy wants to hear "Believe It," then you oughta start believing in "Believe It," sis.
SPARKY: Alright, I can't do this. You guys are just as amazing as I thought you would be.
AMY: You constructed that sentence really fast. How?
SPARKY: Because I don't have pneumonia.
LISA: You...you cured yourself?
CHRISTINA: No. These kids lied to us and deceived us. We've been had.
LISA: Had? Christina, nobody ever had me. They tried to have me, but I told them I was too vulnerable for all that. Jason and Dean are both lying!
RK: You probably shouldn't tell your fiancée that story.
SPARKY: Look, guys, my friends were worried about me because I didn't want anything to do with you anymore. They cooked up this whole scheme so I'd finally have a chance to meet you.
KATHERINE: Then you could have told us the truth. Why go through all this for something that wasn't worth it?
JAYLYNN: That's actually one of our specialties.
DANI: Wait a minute. What do you mean, you wanted nothing to do with us?
SPARKY: I mean, you left the band so I was done. Cimorelli will never be the same without you. I was just tired of having to adjust to everything changing, but if I had, maybe I wouldn't be here.
DANI: Sparky, nothing's going to happen to the band. I made the choice to leave because I wanted to pursue something I was really passionate about.
CHRISTINA: And just because Dani's gone, doesn't mean you should give up on us. Your friends told us all this stuff about you that I don't know is true, but if it is, we need fans like you to survive.
SPARKY: Really? What did they tell you?
LAUREN: You had all our albums, you bought our merch, that kind of thing. But since your friends might be liars, I bet you're really a Little Mix fan.
SPARKY: I don't listen to Little Mix.
LAUREN: Are you sure? Are you sure you don't like Little Mix?
SPARKY: Let me just get the box and you guys can see nobody's lying here.
Sparky runs upstairs to get the box.
DANI: Lauren, it's been five years. You have to let that Little Mix thing go.
LAUREN: It's not like I don't like them, I just hate people who think I'm one of them. Can't they do some research for five seconds?
AMY: See, I knew that whole positivity thing was an act.
LAUREN: What did you say to me, Amy?
AMY: I'm just repeating what Lisa said.
BUSTER: They fight way more than I thought they would.
JAYLYNN: Yeah, in person, they're almost lifelike.
Sparky comes back downstairs with the box.
SPARKY: See this? This is the first thing I ever owned from you guys. A pink wristband with your family name. I took a lot of beatings in school, but it was worth it. Signed long-sleeved shirt, buttons, "Made in America" on 12-inch vinyl.
DANI: What the heck is a 12-inch vinyl?
CHRISTINA: It's what people from the 1970s and Katherine listen to.
KATHERINE: I collect them!
SPARKY: The point is, I'm really a fan of you guys, and my friends would walk to the ends of the Earth for me so that's why they lied. And if you really need fans like me to survive, then...then maybe embracing change isn't a bad thing.
LISA: You're still going to support us?!
SPARKY: Damn right I am.
Beat. The girls give Sparky confused looks and he sighs.
SPARKY: Ding dang right I am.
The girls cheer and start dancing.
RK: Honestly, I'm glad we made this happen.
WADE: Yeah, these girls seem okay.
JAYLYNN (V.O.): Sparky? Sparky?
Cut to Sparky sleeping on the couch, and the guys trying to wake him up.
JAYLYNN: Sparks? Sparko?
RK: Only I can say that, Jaylynn.
BUSTER: Don't worry, I know what to do.
Buster takes out a McChicken from his pocket and unwraps it.
WADE: How long have you had that?
BUSTER: Only for a couple hours. I'm not a barbarian or something.
Buster holds up the McChicken to Sparky's nose, which causes him to start sniffing it and wake up.
SPARKY: MCCHICKEN DAY?! Oh, no, it's not that time of the month. What happened? Where's Cimorelli? I didn't actually meet them, did I? It was just another wildly exaggerated dream.
JAYLYNN: No, my friend, it was the real thing this time. They came here, you talked to them, you showed them your merchandise.
BITCH CLOCK: And I dared Christina to kiss Katherine on the lips. It was beautiful.
WADE: You know that never happened.
BITCH CLOCK: Oh, so I can't fantasize about girl-on-girl action?
RK: They're sisters, you sicko!
BITCH CLOCK: Wait, full-on sisters from the same parents? No step, no half?
All of the kids nod their heads angrily.
BITCH CLOCK: Damn, their mom must like it rough. Carry on then.
Bitch Clock goes into the basement.
SPARKY: If Cimorelli was here, why am I having trouble remembering it?
BUSTER: Because you fainted from the excitement after they hugged you.
RK: But just to make sure you had evidence, here's a picture we made Bitch Clock take on my phone.
Sparky sees the picture of the guys posing with Cimorelli near the couch while he is unconscious.
SPARKY: Wow. This is amazing. Thanks, guys, for making this happen. I spent such a long time hating Cimorelli, trying to act like I didn't need them anymore. But if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have realized how much I did need them, even if they're not the same.
BUSTER: Anything for you, buddy.
WADE: By the way, as a parting gift, Lisa wanted you to have this.
Wade gives Sparky a CD.
SPARKY: What's this?
WADE: It's an advance copy of her upcoming EP. She thought you should be the first person to hear the whole thing, straight from the studio.
SPARKY: You're kidding. A Lisa Cimorelli EP? Wait a minute. Does she cry a lot on this?
JAYLYNN: She said these are the most emotionally challenging songs she's ever written.
SPARKY: Alright, I'll play this whenever I get a chance.
Cut to black.
("BAD" by Cimorelli plays over the end credits)
©2020 ANDERSON PRODUCTIONS