Author's notes: This fanfic is a point of view story. If you don't like point of view fanfictions then by all means don't read. I have many stories. Also, if there is a specific story you want, do send me a prompt in a personal message or an email. Thank you. I hope you enjoy it. Also, this is the first in the series of Star Wars point of view picks I will be doing. This one is Ben Solo's point of view.
As the dark ends and the lights fade. Everything goes black. The last thing I saw was her. The joy, pain and sorrow in her glossy doe brown eyes. The pain of an open bond. The death of a soulmate. The forever more of wanting and not having. The biggest sacrifice of all. The blue becoming a blarr in my foggy head.
That is what it felt like the first month. I may be gone but I can still feel the pain from my other half. She is being the scavenger that I knew and loved again. it's not loved, I still love her and I am still in love with her. she was always my light in the galaxy. I guess I can only express this now that I am gone. To blinded by anger to see she was my path. my destiny was in her. She was what I needed but I know what I had to do.This was my path to redemption. I finished what my grandfather started. I was able to walk aways without killing the women I love.
I would be lying if I said that I am not angry or disappointed in what has happened. It enrages me that I was ripped aways from her so suddenly. I wish I could have been me and not Kylo for all this time. I wish that I was able to be Ben not just in the moment of my death but in the future. My future the one that has Rey in it. The one where the rebels would have forgiven me after a few years in exile. The funny thing is I hate myself more than they ever will. The monster that killed my father was me wearing my own face but with the forced influence from the real monsters of the universe.
I just want to be able to hold my scavenger. Breath in her intoxicating smell. Her sweet sad smile, she wears so proud. The strong women I had come to know. Stubborn and hard head. With her caring and passionate other side. The side I only got to see in my last few minutes of my life. I would do anything to see her smile one last time. My heart did beat so fast when I saw her. The way her lips felt on mine. Warm and supple. Plump but not so much it was overwhelming. The sensation was fantastic. The warm colorful burst of light when the focus bond found the over half. I could feel the love and compassion. The need and the want. Her small hand on my face. She was petite but strong and feisty.
I hope the force treats her well and lets the bond remain but close so it does not continue to be a wound. I hope one day I can see her as a force ghost.
Until then may the force always be with you Rey.
Author's notes: Sorry about the feels guys. I was sad that was how it ended but I am not sure my Fix It Fic would have done it any good. I am a sad emotional romantic. I have always been a Star Wars fan, since the first nine. I will be uploading Rey's point of view soon. If you have ideas for this feel free to let me know.
Have a great day or night,
Winter-dumpling-castaway.
P.S. Don't forget to stay safe and healthy.