A/N - Hello all! I really have been wanting to write a Steven Universe fanfic for a while that I can actually write with pure motivation, and this idea has lingered in my mind for some time. One thing I want to say is, I'm not an expert on therapy or PTSD, but I have done research as I wish not to offend anyone, but I do accept constructive criticism as I really want this to be something accurate in representation! So please, if I get something wrong that might come off as offensive, please inform me, as it is not my intention. I do hope you all enjoy the story!

Anywho I might as well let you read now

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Steven felt a breeze flow into the car as he rolled down the window of the dondai, the view of the beach fading away, which also included the place he'd known his whole life, Beach City. After having lived there for 16 years, he'd decided to find out where he truly longed to be. Being half gem was part of the reason he was leaving, having to deal with all sorts of gem stuff you most of the time had nothing to do with had finally caught up to Steven and caused him to...

He quickly threw the thoughts away so he wouldn't think about it. He knew he needed to but... It was hard. His whole life he'd thought he'd never truly known who he was known who he was but even now, he almost had it right but he still knew something was missing. He wasn't sure, but this journey across the United States was going to help. At least he thought so. It would be nice to have a new scenery that wasn't just from the beach just outside his former home.

He wouldn't be back anytime soon, the missions he had would take a long time. His first being that he was going to travel to every state in the country, to find himself, but his other issue he still needed to overcome was going to be a major role in the first.

His PTSD.

Of course, he hadn't shown any remote systems until after Little Homeworld was built, but he knew deep down that he'd always had it. Could he blame anyone though?

...

Okay maybe he could but that was beside the point. The point being, was that this was Steven's personal conflict, no one could blame him for his problems, these problems were caused by all the gem stuff he'd gone through. He honestly had lost track of how many times he or someone he loved almost died because of something related to the Crystal Gems or Homeworld. In the end, after consulting with Dr. Maheswaren, he'd been heavily advised to see a therapist. Steven remembered his confusion, as he'd never even considered therapy.

After it'd been explained to him it made much more sense to him. When he'd told the Crystal Gems about it, they were really happy to see Steven trying human ways to feel better since it seemed gem ways weren't helping what-so-ever. The thing Steven was not prepared for was his therapist as a whole. He turned the music down on his radio as he recalled the events of his therapy consultation.

Steven had walked into the office where the card of the therapist he had been recommended was located. He'd already called in a week before so he could come in and get some consultation with the therapist and have therapy sessions set up for him. He already knew that Connie's mom had talked with them personally beforehand, probably so they'd have a heads up on all the gem stuff. Walking up to the front desk there was a receptionist. Steven had already gone through what he was supposed to do, say the therapist's name and wait. There was no one really present in the office, but it made sense. It was for therapy in a smaller area, so Steven wouldn't assume it'd be extremely crowded, plus there were only 3 therapists there from what he remembered. The receptionist looked up at Steven, who'd been standing there deep in thought for a while. Steven snapped out of his thoughts and cleared his throat.

"Sorry, I've never been here before, how do I sign in exactly?" Steven asked. The receptionist let out a light chuckle before pointing to a tablet that was on a stand placed in front of Steven on the counter, "Oh..! Thank you!" He looked at it and his confusion still stood. The tablet only said sign in and it took Steven a moment to figure out he was supposed to tap it. When he tapped it, the screen changed to three options, which included the names of three doctors, or what Steven assumed were the three therapists located at this location. He found the name of his possible new therapist.

Dr. Reners.

The name was the same as the one printed on the card. He selected the option and the screen moved forward, to which it was the rest of the information to have him checked in. After completing the sign-in, he nodded to the receptionist again and was about to sit down before she tapped the desk.

"Dr. Reners wanted you to fill this out for them," she said, holding out a clipboard to hand to Steven. He took the clipboard and gave a polite nod. Steven hadn't grown up around a lot of people outside of Beach City, but that didn't mean he didn't know how to be polite to people. He stepped over and found an empty seat to sit down in.

Steven took a look at the piece of paper clipped onto the board in his hands, it appeared to be an information form. He peaked more at the questions about his information being asked of but some he honestly didn't know the answer to. For example, insurance was listed along with a few sub-questions that Steven also didn't understand, he'd heard the word before but he had never known what it was. In the end, he managed to fill out about perhaps a third of the information sheet. He flipped the paper up and noticed the one below it was a completely different set of questions. The questions seem to not be about his medical information but perhaps a questionnaire? He'd remembered doing one at the hospital when he'd been to the doctor for literally the first time in his entire life. The questions ranged to how often he remembered anything bad happening in the past too if he how he felt about people close to him and how he controlled his emotions. It wasn't that great to fill out as he tried to forget what'd happened last month. After what seemed like an eternity he finished the sheet and flipped the original page over the questions.

He stood up and walked back to the front desk and proceeded to hand back the clipboard to the lady, to which she took a quick look at it and handed it back to Steven.

"You didn't complete the first page all the way," she said. Steven felt a slight rise of panic before he looked at the page again.

"I don't exactly know how to answer some of these questions," he admitted, "I might as well confess I've never done that much medical stuff like this."

"Oh," the receptionist said, "I'll help explain it if you need to."

"Thank you," Steven said as he took the pen off the clipboard once more and into his hand. The older lady proceeded to explain each question to Steven, and even after that some of the most important questions still remained.

"You don't have insurance?" She said, her expression puzzled.

"I never really went to the doctor, at least before last month ago," Steven said, which his eyes witnessed the color drain from her face, "I'm healthy! At least I think I am?"

"No no! Just you're 16 almost 17 from what I'm seeing on the information given, it's surprising, I'm sorry," The lady apologized, "Does your mom, dad, or guardian have insurance? Or are you going to need to call to ask?"

"Well, my dad I doubt has it," he said, "And the Gems probably don't know what it is either."

"The Gems?" The receptionist said, "Are they your guardians?"

"Sort of yes, I grew up around them, my dad sort of lives in his own van. So when I was about 7 the 4 of them got a house built in front of basically their home and I lived there with them," Steven explained.

"..."

"I know, it's weird, it's a really long story," He added.

"You're probably lucky to be healthy aside from the reason you're here."

"Guess I did get lucky, it's kind of weird when your body is able to heal itself so quickly, guess it's from my mom."

"That's interesting." Came a third voice, Steven turned and saw someone he'd never seen either, they were probably a few inches taller than Steven and had short black hair that made their gender almost unidentifiable, also on their head was a pair of glasses, which went well with the grey sweater they had one, "Oh, I'm Dr. Charlie Reners, I assume you must be Steven Universe?" That already answered why they didn't have an obvious gender appearance, Steven remembered being told they were non-binary.

"Yeah... That's me..." Steven said, "I really don't know how I'm supposed to fill this out."

"It's fine, you can worry about that later," Dr. Reners said, "You can go ahead and come on back if you'd like."

"Alright," He said, following them back to a separate room. Steven had brought the clipboard with him, and as soon as he sat down the clipboard was taken by Dr. Reners.

"I'll look at this later, see if Priyanka can help figure your medical information out," They said, placing the first sheet of the clipboard and placing it on the coffee table located in the center of the room, "Well, I might as well formally introduce myself, I'm Charlie Reners, not that big on formalities so you don't have to call me Dr. Reners if you're not comfortable with it."

"Thank you, I'm assuming Dr. Maheswaran told you who I am," Steven said, he could already feel the awkwardness of the conversation creep up his back.

"Well not really, she just told me that you're definitely going to be hard to believe what you're saying is true and to trust that you're speaking the truth. I've heard and seen it all by this point so I'm pretty sure I'll be able to give the help you need," Charlie said, taking a look at the sheet on the clipboard and tallying something on the bottom, once they were done they placed it on the coffee table beside the other sheet, "That we can talk about later, right now I want to find out kind of who you are. Most of the time therapists like to jump right into the issues is what I'm told, but I'd like to make it less awkward since my job is to help people get through mental health issues and cope with it properly."

"Well I'm Steven Universe as you already know, I'm 16 and I guess I can admit I've seen a few things..." Steven gulped, he hadn't really interacted with anyone he didn't know that wasn't a gem in a long time, "Sorry... Just not used to talking to people. You see I'm half gem, it's a long story."

"Gem? I've only ever heard of gems on that one blog someone told me about once... I think the blog was called 'Keep Beach City Weird'?" Steven remembered the infamous blog by Ronaldo. He'd wondered if it was still up, but that wasn't a priority at the moment.

"Oh yeah, that was run by someone who knows me," Steven confirmed, "To sum it up, my mom was a gem and gave up her physical form to create me."

"Fascinating," They said, before clearing their throat, "Well I'll do a few fast facts so at least you get a basic idea of who I am. I'm Charlie, 31, got my degree about 3 years ago."

"Oh, alright..." Steven said, his eyes avoiding contact with them. He'd felt great about going to get help to truly be better, but it was still awkward. He just hoped the gem stuff wouldn't confuse them.

But that was beside the point, Steven was there because he wanted to be better, not just feel better. They ended up sitting there informing each other about themselves and honestly after about 45 minutes, Steven felt the tension disappear. There was a catch of course, which was when Charlie got the clipboard back up and looked at it a little more closely.

"Well, Steven I can say Priyanka was right, from this sheet of just your answers it does seem like you are suffering from likely severe PTSD." They paused for a second when they flipped the page around, "Well that's weird..."

"What?" Steven asked, worried he'd done something wrong.

"Well you said that you still talk to the people involved in the incidents," they looked up at Steven, with a confused glare, "Are you on good terms or is something still wrong?"

"It's..." Steven sighed, taking a pen and clicking it a couple of times, "A really long story."

"Well, we still have about an hour left. I'll listen," Charlie said, by this point, Steven wasn't sure whether it was weird or nice that Charlie was letting him refer to them by their first name or not, but he didn't really have much knowledge on therapy beforehand so it might've been normal.

"Alright well... What do you want me to tell?" Steven asked, "The shorter one or the long one?"

"I suppose the longer one," Charlie said, "I need to know how exactly I'm going to have to help you, but if part of it makes you uncomfortable let me know, but you'll still need to say it."

"Okay, this'll be really confusing so..." Steven trailed off when he realized they'd grabbed a note pad, "Oh... So I lived with my dad till I was about 7, and after the Crystal Gems and my dad completed the house I moved in. I got used to one thing, the gems often were out on missions slaying gem monsters, so I was often home by myself. I'll be honest I never went to school either."

"When I was 12, that's when it started I guess, my favorite brand of ice cream, Cookie Cats, got discounted so that was pretty upsetting, a gem monster raided the house so that was pretty scary, but it got dealt with. Turns out I have the same powers as my mom, for example, my first one was summoning her shield." Steven quickly summoned his shield and showed it to Charlie but soon after let it fade away, Steven went on to summarize a pretty good amount of the past 4 years. By the time he got to the end it looked like Charlie was more surprised Steven was still staying as calm as he was, "And it got really bad, I feel like a fraud and at that time it was so overpowering I kind of... Got corrupted and turned into a giant worm? That's the last thing I really remembered from that, I'm going off what the others have told me, I only remember that one minute I was yelling... At the gems... And... The next I woke up in the middle of the ocean with almost my entire family over me and I realized... I messed up..." Steven felt his eyes well up with tears, which he quickly wiped away, "Sorry..."

"No, it's fine just... When she said it was a lot I didn't expect... I'm sorry..." Charlie said, they stood up and placed a hand on their forehead, "Didn't expect that much. I guess I shouldn't be surprised, but I can see an answer and it's that you really need help dealing with stress. I'd probably suggest emotional and cognitive therapy, of course since you are still a minor, I'd have to consult your father to get a second voice once explaining the situation of what I think you need to get better. But I suppose you probably need a breather. I assume that's the first time you've fully recapped to someone?"

"Mhm..."

"I could tell," They said, "It's fine, I just saw your eyes kind of change halfway through... They kind of looked diamond-shaped?"

"Oh..." Steven said, "It happens... I need to get help with that." He didn't like that trying to talk about his problems caused his eyes to come back, it was like a scar of his past actions.

"I see, if it's gem related it might be connected to your emotions. From what you've told me you turned that pink color whenever your emotions got stronger? Like resentment or helplessness? If my theory is correct, therapy might be a great idea for you, considering your powers were originally emotionally driven."

"Well..." Steven sighed, "When will it be able to get set up?"

"Soon, like I said I need to consult your father, because it seems like he knows what's going on pretty well, from a different view," Charlie said, going to the desk in the room and grabbing something and handing it to Steven, which he found out was another sheet of paper.

"What's this?" Steven asked, looking at the word filled page.

"Summary, while you were talking I filled in some dots and went ahead and gave you a few things you can try to see what works, and how you can improve. I'll get my second opinion and then I'll call your cell and get a better idea of what therapy you'll try."

"Thank you..?" He said, folding the paper and sliding it in his jacket pocket. Soon enough he was already out of the office and the consultation was over.

Steven's thoughts came back to the present. In all honesty, he didn't really like exposure therapy as much as cognitive therapy, but it definitely was helping. He looked out the side window again and realized Beach City was completely out of sight, he looked to the clock and realized about an hour and a half had passed since he'd left. He knew he wanted to go back, but deep down his heart told him this was the right thing. He needed to at least get his mental health in check.

Steven felt a growl grow from his stomach as he realized he forgot to eat breakfast. He looked at his phone which was propped up so it showed his GPS, looking to find a place he could park or pull over to find a place to stop and eat it. He noticed a park located just about a third of a mile ahead and went ahead and pulled into the parking lot. Taking his phone off its stand he looked up a few restaurants near him. He found a fast food place that served pancakes until 10, and since it was still only 8:45 he knew he'd be able to get something. It was about 5 miles away, making Steven immediately punch it into his GPS and set it to take him there. He put the phone back in its stand and hastily got back onto the main road.

The 5 miles passed pretty fluently and soon Steven found the place.

Wendy's Wings.

He'd never heard of it but he figured the pancakes would perhaps be good. He got out of his vehicle after parking it and proceeded inside. After getting his order he found a seat and waited. He looked out and took another few minutes to think about things, he might never return. He'd accepted it but he hoped the others accepted it too, and hopefully in the future, after he settled down, probably with Connie, they'd visit Beach City. The nostalgia he felt lingered as he continued to let his thoughts think about the town he loved.

Steven hadn't paid attention to how long it'd been when his order finally came to the table he was at. There were 2 pancakes stacked on each other, drizzled in blueberry syrup and topped off with a dollop of whip cream. It didn't take long for Steven to dig into the pancakes, and within a few more minutes the pancakes were gone. Satisfied with his meal, Steven went up to the counter and paid for the meal, and a few more minutes later, he was already back in his car. The GPS was now recalibrated to go to the first location Steven would be at by that night so he could rest. Pulling out of the parking lot he managed to start his way on down the road. The feeling of his journey really began to set in.

He had a long way to go until he'd be back anywhere near his childhood home.

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A/N - This is long

This a long chapter for me

I really hope you've enjoyed it! Expect more coming soon. I plan on posting a chapter at least once every week or two.

Anyways, stay safe everyone.