Summary: Hartley's plans to ask Cisco on a date are torpedoed when it turns out Cisco already has a date for that evening. So the last thing Hartley's expecting is for Cisco to turn up at his apartment anyway, freaking out over a very awful series of vibes about all the ways that night could have gone very, very wrong and in the midst of an epiphany about who it is Cisco really can't bear to lose.
Notes: For Hartmon Bingo prompt I2 - Season 5 or 6 Related
In which Cisco had other reasons for self-sabotaging his date with Kamilla.
Late Night Epiphanies
"Sorry, I can't tonight," Cisco replied, grinning a wide, happy smile that Hartley's been trying for months now to put on the other man's face. "I've got a date."
Hartley's stomach drops. Cisco's got a date and Hartley's... not the one Cisco's smiling that gorgeous smile for. "Some other time then," Hartley responds mechanically, he chest tight and the playful attitude he'd been displaying moments earlier draining right out of him.
Cisco had a date. With someone not him. Not that Hartley should have expected Cisco to look at him that way, but it still... hurt. Ached.
How Cisco could be so oblivious and observant all at once, Hartley couldn't begin to comprehend. But he was, and he was frowning now, regarding Hartley with a worried stare. "Hartley? What's wrong?"
What's wrong was he'd been planning on asking Cisco out tonight. What's wrong is he'd gotten his hopes up and let himself fall in love with someone who was never going to feel the same. Again.
What's wrong is that Hartley's trying not to cry in the middle of an overpriced coffee shop.
"It's nothing. Just not looking forward to going back to work this afternoon. It's been a long week and I'm exhausted." Hartley wondered how convincing he'd been. Judging by the lingering concern on Cisco's face... not very.
He didn't know what he was going to have for dinner anymore. The thought of the food he'd bought to prepare for that night suddenly made him feel queasy. Something cheap and fast and greasy that he wouldn't feel bad not tasting because he was too busy crying.
"Hartley, are you..." Cisco trailed off uncertainly, almost guiltily.
"Speaking of work," Hartley interrupted, "I've got a meeting I can't be late for. I should probably head out. Sorry to run off early on you like this, but... next week you'll have to tell me all about your date, okay?"
"Uh... yeah. Sure." Cisco blinked in confusion as Hartley gathered his things and tried very much not to seem like he was fleeing out the door.
Which he was, fleeing that is.
He managed, with some degree of difficulty, to put himself back together in time for a meeting he did have that afternoon. Much later that afternoon, thank god, but Dr. McGee seemed to realize something was off with him, because she sent him home earlier than normal with the friendly order to get some good sleep. She probably thought his insomnia was messing him up again.
If only. Sleep deprivation was far preferable to heartbreak.
Hartley's half asleep on his couch with only a dull headache keeping him awake when the knocking starts. Even his spinning thoughts have calmed down to a sluggish circling that's on the verge of unconsciousness. But the knocking is loud and persistent and Hartley struggles to sit up and stretch before zombie walking to his front door.
He tells himself, as he flips the lock, that he should be grateful to whichever neighbor startled him awake at this hour. If he'd really fallen asleep on the couch, he'd have woken in the morning with a crick in his neck for sure. So no grumpy pouting, especially if it's Maeve needing something fixed in her apartment. She always had cookies and stories about being queer in nineteen-sixties Central City, both of which were ample payment for changing light bulbs, repairing her laptop, or the other odd little jobs she'd ask of him now and again.
It's not one of Hartley's neighbors, though. It's Cisco.
"I thought you weren't dropping by tonight," Hartley said, opening the door wider and checking his watch. It's five 'til ten. "Also it's really late. Is everything okay?"
"It's fine now," Cisco answered, voice shaking in a way that said Cisco was actually very much not alright. "I'm sorry. You... you were asleep weren't you? I should... I should go."
Hartley reached out and snagged Cisco lightly by the wrist and tugged the engineer through the door, shutting it behind him.
"I was on the couch and about to really hurt my neck on those pillows. Honestly, you did me a favor. What's wrong? Date go that badly?" Hartley does not expect the armful of Cisco he gets, but he automatically rubs at the other man's back soothingly.
"I canceled the date," Cisco muttered. "I couldn't... not after what I saw."
"Cisco..." Hartley started leading him over to the couch so they can sit down together. "You vibed something tonight?"
"Yeah. I... I saw you die, Hart. I saw me die... everyone. I saw pretty much everyone die tonight." Cisco made a choked sound. "Cicada kept killing us and Nora kept resetting the evening and you... you died in my arms, Hartley. I couldn't..." he was crying now and, honestly, so was Hartley.
Not that Hartley needed to cry again today, but he couldn't help it. The sudden adrenaline rush of hearing he was going to die had been followed all too quickly by the relief that it was some other timeline Cisco'd witnessed. Even before that he'd been far too stressed by his earlier crying jag to be able to resist being pulled along with Cisco's desperate tears.
"I couldn't save you," Cisco finished brokenly.
"Hey," Hartley murmured, holding Cisco tightly as they, finally, settled onto the couch. "I'm right here, okay? You've got me. We're both gonna be okay."
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Cisco was moving into sobbing territory now. "I couldn't save you. Hart..."
"Shh... I'm right here," Hartley repeated, murmuring soothing, reassuring things until, finally, Cisco was breathing slowly with him. Stroking Cisco's hair softly, he asked, "you back with me now?"
"Y-yeah," is the shaky response. "Sorry for crying all over you."
"It sounds like you had a very rough night," Hartley murmured.
"Yeah." Cisco sighed and nuzzled against Hartley's shoulder.
Hartley... tried not to read into it. Instead he asked, "so you canceled your date? Or asked for a rain check?"
"Canceled. I mean..." Cisco pulled away. "Technically I went on the date. In some of the time loops. And Kamilla was really nice. But I kept self-sabotaging. It never... felt right. I kept thinking about..." he trailed off with a sleepy yawn. "I guess I know why now, though."
"Kept thinking about what?" Hartley asked.
"You got upset when we met for lunch," Cisco replied. "When I brought up my date." It was pretty clear what Cisco had inferred from that.
"Cisco..." Hartley didn't know what to say.
"I've seen myself die in vibes before. I don't like it and I'm glad it's rare, but it doesn't... and I've been kind of resigned to the idea I might lose pretty much anyone because what we do is dangerous... but you." Cisco paused and reached out, sliding his palm along Hartley's cheek and...
Hartley can't help but lean into the touch, butterflies fluttering in places they really don't belong.
"I was completely unprepared to see that. You dying like that. I can't..." Cisco's voice choked off for a moment. "I almost lost you, Hart. I can't loose you."
Impulsively, Hartley brushed a kiss against Cisco's lips only to find the other man dragging him back in. And, damn, could Cisco kiss. The sort of kissing that'd blow the rating system from The Princess Bride right out of the water, were Hartley coherent enough by the time their lips parted to think of such things.
Hartley hated to pull back, but they needed space and to probably sleep - just sleep - before talking about this properly in the morning. A sentiment he then, haltingly, relayed aloud to Cisco.
"Can I sleep here?" Cisco asked, blushing. "I'll be fine on the couch. I just..." he swallowed hard.
After his visions of all the ways that night could've gone wrong, there was no doubt Cisco was in a rough night for nightmares.
"You can stay. And it doesn't have to be on the couch," Hartley told him. "I'd rather hold you tonight anyway."
Cisco's relieved smile was absolutely lovely. "Thank you."
In the morning, Hartley wakes up to Cisco in his bed. And he hopes that in the light of day, Cisco's feelings will be as strong as they were last night. That this won't be the only time he gets to have this precious gift.
And then Cisco shifts and wakes and his eyes blink open in confusion... and light up when he see's Hartley's face. An absolutely glowing smile takes over Cisco's sleepy face and... Hartley's presence put it there.
Hartley smiles too. He's keeping this. Holding on with both hands.
"Well now you're stuck with me," Hartley tells Cisco between languid morning kisses, unhurried as they stretch out together beneath the covers.
"Good. I'm never letting you go."