Hi, everyone! Finally finished this oneshot. It's been sitting on my computer since before I started Beside, and was meant to be my first Ninjago work, but- alas and alack- I have no attention span and tend to jump from project to project. So this is dealing with kind of the same situation as Beside (Loyd being older), but with more humorous element, cause I figure we could all use a bit to laugh about. I hope you enjoy!
~Lou :)
The Pimple Project
When Lloyd had first been affected by the Tomorrow's Tea, his uncle had warned him there would be an… adjustment period. That much, even from the beginning, had been painfully obvious to Lloyd.
The thing was, when a person found themself growing two feet in two minutes, their entire sense of spatial awareness went out the window. Lloyd had been like a wobbly fawn on new legs. Misjudging distances and bumping into things, hitting his head on door frames and tripping over his own two feet; just generally being a terrible klutz.
It was annoying in the best of times and painful for all the rest of it (table corners hurt), but the worst part had been that he'd just learned Spinjitzu and had to start again from scratch. Zane had explained how the difference in his height, weight, and center of gravity played critical factors, but at the time Lloyd had been too busy moodily stuffing his face with appeasement chocolate to listen.
Still, in time he'd adapted to being a gangly teenager with a squeaky voice crack. In fact, he'd begun to think he'd gotten the hang of the whole thing, right up until the first zit showed up on his face.
Figures.
At first, Lloyd did what any ten-turned-fourteen year-old would do. He ignored it. For a time, his brothers and Nya went around suggesting all these different creams and sprays and whatever to help his skin clear faster, but Lloyd was a ninja, one with less than spectacular Spinjitzu skills at the moment but a ninja nonetheless. He could handle acne on his own. Besides, he had brilliant hygiene. His skin would clear in a day or two.
Well, as it turned out, a day or two became a week, then two weeks, then three. It was only when Lloyd discovered pimples popping up on the back of his neck a month later that he finally admitted he needed some sibling intervention. But of course there was still the small matter of "I told you so's" to deal with… Lloyd would have to be discreet in how he went about getting his intel.
He decided on Zane, after all nindroids knew everything, which hopefully included how to instantly cure acne. Plus Zane was least likely to draw him into some hour long lecture about skin care if Lloyd was found out, which was always a bonus. Some of the guys got serious about this stuff.
Lloyd wandered over to the bathroom, timing it just right. Zane would be just finishing up, and Kai had yet to figure out the ice ninja didn't use up all of his allotted time in the bathroom schedule, meaning Lloyd had a good five minutes before Kai came in and took over with his hundred jars of hair product. Just enough time to carefully extract the needed information.
The door was cracked, and Lloyd pushed it open and stuck his head in. "Hey, Zane, you got a minute?"
And maybe Lloyd should have knocked first, but the next thing he knew Zane had startled, knocking over bottles of shampoo and shaving cream, along with the toothbrush holder, and a cascade of color-coded toothbrushes.
Lloyd cringed. Those were the guys' toothbrushes. All over the bathroom floor. Crap.
Sheepishly, Lloyd crouched down to help Zane retrieve the fallen items. "Sorry, Zane. I didn't mean to scare you."
"It is alright." Zane said, gathering all the toothbrushes and running them under hot water before washing them with disinfectant. He turned to Lloyd with a secret smile. "Perhaps it is best if we refrain from mentioning this to the others?"
Lloyd grinned. Zane was racking up all the brother points this morning. "Agreed. No reason at all for them to know..." Hot water killed most germs anyway.
Zane reached for a towel to dry his hands. "You wished to speak with me about something?"
"Oh, yeah." Lloyd reached a hand to the back of his neck, tugging on the ends of his hair. "It's just a question I had that's, y'know, been on my mind for a bit. I was thinking- you know how I think about stuff sometimes- and I was wondering-" Zane's amused expression was enough for Lloyd to catch his rambling.
Yes, Lloyd. Real smooth there, total nonchalance. He quickly shoved the rest of his words out in a rush. "What do you wash your face with?"
Zane blinked, bewilderment registering on his face for a moment. "Um, soap and water."
Lloyd frowned. "That's it?"
"Yes. That is it."
"And it's not like a special soap or anything?"
Zane handed Lloyd a perfectly ordinary bar of store-bought soap. "If it is, I was unaware."
Lloyd sighed. "No, Zane, it's not-"
"Hey, Zane, did I leave my- Oh, hey, Lloyd." Jay's head peeked around the open door.
Lloyd raised a hand in greeting, the easy smile on his face belying the Abort Mission! alarms on a loop in his head. Lloyd would never hear the end of it if Jay learned he'd caved.
"Good morning, Jay." Zane said. "What are you looking for?"
"Yeah, did I leave my brush in here earlier?"
Lloyd stiffened. He didn't know, did he? "Brush? What brush? I don't see any-"
"Your toothbrush, Jay?" Zane cut in over Lloyd, direct as always. "You always leave it here."
"No... my hairbrush." Jay said, eyeing them with a suspicious look that clearly said weirdo. "If I leave it here Kai'll use it and it'll get all gooped up with his hair gel."
"Ahh, yes. I did see it." Zane looked around for a moment, before retrieving it from the floor, where it had somehow managed to hide itself behind the shower curtain.
Jay's eyebrows pulled together. "Why was it on the floor?"
"Lloyd startled me, I knocked it over by accident."
Lloyd plastered on a smile as Jay's eyes fell on him and expertly maneuvered the conversation away from topics that would have him spending all of his candy money… er… allowance on toothbrushes.
"So, Jay, do you know what's for breakfast this morning?"
Jay grimaced a little. "Cole's trying out something with bacon and artichokes. It's a, um… interesting scent. So what're you doing in here?"
"Lloyd was wondering what I use to wash my face." Zane spoke up before Lloyd's mind could land on an excuse.
Jay turned to Lloyd, his face brightening. "Was he now?"
Lloyd almost groaned out loud. Darn it he'd been this close-
"Indeed." Zane confirmed helpfully, only serving to widen the grin on Jay's face.
Lloyd mumbled, gesturing vaguely to his face. "Well, y'know it's not going away."
"Mhm-mhm," Jay agreed far too enthusiastically, nodding his head vigorously. "So that means I was right."
"Well, not you specifically, the others also said-"
Jay waved a hand. "Now, now, let's not get all caught up in the details. What'd you tell him, Zane?"
"Soap and water."
Jay's face fell. "Soap and water?" He spotted the bar of soap in Lloyd's hand, taking it from him with a look of utter terror. "This soap?"
Zane looked a bit put out by Jay's blatant abhorrence of his choice in toiletries, saying in a rather stiff tone, "It is 98.65% effective in terminating harmful bacteria."
Jay reeled in his excitement, patting Zane in the shoulder in a woebegotten manner. "I'm sure, buddy. But it's also 100% effective in clogging up your pores." He turned to his little brother with a stern look and pointed finger. "I'm serious, Lloyd. Do not use- Agh!"
The door suddenly slammed open, the door knob jutting out and catching Jay in the hip, inducing a certain type of agony that had Lloyd cringing in sympathy; door knobs had also become the bane of his existence these last few weeks.
"Oooh, sorry." Cole said, wincing at the damage he'd done, his hands hovering around Jay doubled over at the waist.
"Don't you ever knock?" Jay wheezed out, straightening up.
Cole smiled sheepishly. "The door was half open, besides I didn't expect half the team to be congregated in the bathroom." He glanced around at Zane and Lloyd, his expression becoming mildly concerned."What's, uh- what's up with that anyway?"
"Nothing!" Lloyd said before Zane or Jay could speak up and sell him out. The last thing he needed was another brother on his case. Instead Lloyd masterfully deflected, turning the tables on Cole. "What are you doing here?"
Unfortunately, Cole too was a master of deflection, and, in an act of tremendous wisdom, ignored Lloyd. Just ignored him and looked over at Zane, a wordless question in his raised eyebrow.
To which Zane responded, "Lloyd has been wondering about the specifics of my skincare routine."
Lloyd wilted as Cole's eyes immediately brightened. He'd thought Zane at least could be trusted…
"So that means we win right?" Cole asked Jay.
Hold up, what?
Jay nodded, and Cole let out a "yes!", reaching forward for a fist bump while Jay went in for a high-five. Within moments, the whole interaction had degraded into an awkward almost-handshake that involved too much slapping, not enough explosions, and was almost (but not quite) ridiculous enough to distract Lloyd from the part about winning.
"Did you guys bet on me?"
Jay and Cole paused mid-high-five/fist-bump, sudden enough that some omnipotent force could've pressed pause on their remote.
"Uhhh…"
"You did!" Lloyd's voice did that annoying shrieky voice crack thing, which kind of diminished the imposing vibe he was going for, not to mention he had to take a second to clear his throat.
Jay laughed, a bit sheepish but mostly amused (as if he hadn't been doing the voice crack thing just last month-). "It was only a small bet…"
Lloyd sputtered. As if that made it better-
"It was for a good cause?" Cole suggested more than stated, rubbing at the back of his neck. He'd always been a terrible liar.
"And what cause was that?" Lloyd asked, refraining from rolling his eyes.
"The winners are exempt from bathroom duty for the following month." Lloyd was surprised to find this came from neither Jay nor Cole, but from Zane, who, up until now, Lloyd had thought was an innocent party.
He reeled at him, mouth gaping. "You too?"
He would expect his from the others, but Zane?
Well, actually, come to think of it, he should've known. Lloyd had heard all about the tournament the guys- including Zane- had held for the title of the Green Ninja (he'd also heard all about how they'd almost burned down the monastery, so they really shouldn't have been allowed to be so touchy about it when Lloyd did it for real... ), not to mention the infamous Unmask the Samurai bet. Come to think of it, the guys might have a bit of a gambling problem…
Still though. Lloyd had expected better of his nindroid friend. This one hurt. Right in the heart.
Lloyd could practically see Zane mentally backtrack as he realized he hadn't previously been affiliated with the offenders. "It was… all in good fun?"
Lloyd just skewered the three of them with a death glare- a rather impressive one in his opinion. Red eyes do have their advantages.
But of course Jay just looked at him like an angry kitten. "Aww, look, Zane now he's mad. You should've told him it was for charity or something."
Zane rolled his eyes. "He would not have believed that."
"Why not? I can be charitable."
"Yeah, when you're not on a Fist 2 Face spending binge." Cole cut in.
"It's not my fault Kai got me hooked!"
"You did initiate the challenge of a tournament."
"That was empty smack talk, everyone knows I don't back that crap up!"
"Everyone but Kai apparently-"
"You guys, I'm still here, you know!"
Zane, Cole, and Jay looked at Lloyd with mild surprise, almost as if they hadn't known he was still here. Lloyd crossed his arms, spearing them with another withering glare that was most definitely not a pout.
Ever the leader, Cole stepped forward to smooth over the situation. "Hey, look, Lloyd, if it really matters to you that much, we can get you out of bathroom chores too."
Lloyd considered this offer for a moment, before letting out a begrudging "Fine", determined to be grumpy. He couldn't help it when his mouth twitched upwards though, because, come on, they were five guys sharing one bathroom and, more importantly, one toilet; cleaning it was never a pleasant experience.
"Kai will be unhappy you changed the terms of the bet." Zane warned.
"Kai doesn't get a say, he lost." Jay said, crossing his arms with satisfaction.
"Ah he won't care that much, Zane." Cole said. "Now let's see if we can't figure something out for-"
"What are you guys doing, hosting a spa day?"
The four of them startled a bit at the sound of Kai's voice and turned to see him standing in the door, bottles of hair product in his arms, a look of utter bewilderment on his face. That's right, it was his turn for the bathroom like five minutes ago, wasn't it?
"You guys do know there's a living room where you can hang out, right?"
"Just give us like five more minutes, Kai. Lloyd's asked us for some skin care tips." Jay said with a bit of a smirk.
"Well, technically I asked Zane-" Lloyd said.
"Aww, man, already?" Kai asked, shoving his hair products onto the counter. "You couldn't have held out for another week, Lloyd?"
Lloyd rolled his eyes. "If I'd known you guys were betting on me I would've given up on the first day."
Kai frowned. "Spoilsport. I had more faith in you than anyone, you know. I thought you'd go the longest."
"Apart from Nya," Zane said. "She had great faith in your stubbornness, Lloyd."
"Is that really a compliment though?" Kai asked.
"Wait, she was in on it too?" Lloyd's voice did the shrieky thing again, and this time he didn't even care. He was the Green Ninja, you'd have thought the title would garner some respect, but noooo-
Cole, apparently sensing Lloyd's internal meltdown, slung an arm across his shoulders and wisely changed the subject. "But the point of this is you're finally taking some initiative, Green Bean! Now let's see if we can take care of your face."
"Fine." Lloyd grumbled, shrugging off Cole's arm. "What's first?"
And for the next thirty minutes Lloyd was taught "The Ancient Art of Facial Purification" as Jay had dubbed it, and the stress of the whole thing almost rivaled his ninjitsu training because his brothers all turned out to be secret beauty gurus.
"Now this is stuff you want to use after you wash your face." Kai said, plucking a jar from his pile.
"Pimple Popper?" Lloyd asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Pimple Popper XL," Kai corrected, unscrewing the lid to reveal a silver cream with a decidingly sparkly quality. "It tingles a little, but that's how you know it's working."
"Uhh huh…" Lloyd said uncertainly, taking a look at the label. What was in this stuff?
It was then when Nya stuck her head in through the door. "There you guys are! What happened to breakfast? And, uh, why're you all in the bathroom?"
Cole smacked himself in the forehead. "Aww man I forgot! That's the whole reason I came in here. The oven conked out, I was looking for Kai to light it up for me."
Cole grabbed Kai's wrist, dragging him out of the bathroom. "Come on. Maybe my cinnamon fish sticks are still salvageable."
"FSM, I hope not." Jay mumbled under his breath as all of them filed quickly out of the bathroom, following Cole and Kai.
Unluckily for everyone, Cole managed to revive his breakfast, and served up his cinnamon fish sticks with a wide grin and a glass of orange juice.
Each of them muttered their thanks with over-enthusiastic smiles, Sensei's words about gratitude and encouragement still fresh in their minds, and Sensei himself wishing he hadn't pressed quite so hard with those particular lessons.
When he got to Lloyd though something incredible- no, a downright miracle happened.
Cole's face grew hesitant and his spatula paused. "Hey, Lloyd, maybe you should have cereal instead, oily foods aren't good for your skin."
The eyes around the table widened in surprise, and Lloyd himself could hardly believe his good fortune. Maybe the fates of Ninjago didn't hate him after all.
He feigned a properly disappointed look.
"Well, if you say so, Cole."
PS- As it turns out, writing Zane is super hard, so let me know how you liked him? Stay safe everybody!