Author's Note: Should I be working on any of my other WIP? Yes. But I heard Samuel Kim's Padmé song the other day and realized that Padmé is the other character of the SW saga that makes me very sad and I suddenly wanted Ben and Padmé to meet. I also had been wanting to write a fic inspired by Samuel Kim's Ben Solo theme. So if you haven't listened to either song before, I hgihly recommend you do! I wrote this while playing the Ben Solo theme on a loop.
This was the happiest Ben had ever been. He stared at Rey, at the smile on her face, seeing the love in her eyes and knowing that it was all worth it if she gets to live.
He felt the lifeforce begin to fade from him, the smile slipping off his face as he fell back.
His one wish, one regret was that he would be leaving Rey behind, that he would never miss getting to spend a life with her.
But it was worth it. Rey would live on without him, would save the galaxy from his mistakes.
He felt a hand on his shoulder and opened his eyes, gasping. He blinked rapidly, taking in his surroundings. There are stars all around, and a path leading to doorway after doorway.
Where was he?
He remembered the touch on his shoulder and twisted quickly, a frown wrinkling his brow as he stared down at the young woman before him. She was very beautiful, long curling hair, petite like his mother, with dark eyes.
There was something familiar about her.
"Who are you?" he asked, trying to process the many rapid emotions flooding his system. Is he dead? Is this this afterlife? The great oneness of the force?
"Ben—" Her voice broke off, thick with emotion as she stared at him. "I'm so happy to meet you." She started to reach towards him, but stopped herself and clasped her hands in front of her instead. "My name is Padmé."
Ben's lips parted as he inhaled sharply. "Padmé Amidala?"
She smiled, sadness in her eyes. "Yes."
Ben stared at her. This young woman was his grandmother. The wife of Anakin. His eyes landed on her stomach, startled to realize she was pregnant.
"What is this place?"
He looked around again, unsure what else to say, unsure how he felt about meeting his grandmother—pregnant with his own mother and uncle—unsure why he was meeting his grandmother.
Padmé looked around as well. "They call it the World Between Worlds."
He looked back at her, surprised. "So, we're not dead."
She her smile deepened, as did the sadness in her eyes. "No. We're not dead. This place exists outside of time. Or more accurately, all time happening at once." She gestured towards a doorway. "Each door is a moment in time."
Ben mulled over her words as he continued to stare all around. There were pathways and doors as far as he could see in any direction.
He felt a hand on his cheek and whipped his head back, startled.
"You remind me so much of him," Padmé said, her eyes roving over his face. "Before everything, before war, before the Jedi. You're like the boy I met on Tatooine."
Does she know who he is? What happened to Anakin? The destruction they both wrought upon the galaxy?
He shook his head. "You don't know what I've done."
She dropped her hand, closing her eyes as a wrinkle formed between her brows. "I've been here long enough to have seen what happens to Anakin, to our children," she opened her eyes, looking at him, "to you."
Ben felt an almost physical pain in his chest as the weight of what he had done pressed upon his mind.
Padmé's voice hardened, her spine straightening in a way that reminded him of his mother, making her appear much taller than she was. "I have watched a man I once trusted, one of my own people, torture my family through generations and I refused to let him win."
Ben shook his head. "Why not stop him from getting to Anakin? Or from forming the empire? Why wait? Why save me?"
Padmé took a deep breath. "Anakin made his choices. He was manipulated by Palpatine, yes, but he didn't have to be. He allowed his fear and grief to warp his mind." She reached out and clasped his hand, hers looking so tiny in his. "But Palpatine never gave you a chance. He has been manipulating you since you were young and you resisted."
Ben's throat tightened, tears stinging his eyes.
"You had his voice trying to guide you for your entire life and you resisted longer than Anakin. You never lost the pull to the light, never fully gave yourself up to the dark side." She squeezed his hand as a tear slipped down his cheek. "I watched you grow up. I saw the pain you endured, the neglect." The corner of her mouth curved up, but her voice was tinged with sadness. "Your mother and I are too much alike in some ways." She sighed and placed a hand on her stomach. "But despite all of that, you resisted until you had no one else to turn to."
Ben's breathing quickened as tears fell from his eyes, his heart squeezing in guilt. "I've done so many things, killed so many people."
Padmé dropped his hand, nodding. "And you'll have that pain with you for the rest of your life. But you can atone for it. You have a chance to heal the galaxy. You and Rey."
At the mention of Rey, Ben's breath stuck in his throat.
"We're a dyad in the force." He didn't know why he said it. It slipped out of his mouth before he thought it through, but he needed Padmé to understand that Rey wasn't her grandfather. "Rey—she's—do you know who she is?"
The corners of Padmé's mouth curved up again. "Yes. I know who she is. I also know she can't help that she's related to Palpatine any more than you can help that you're related to the man who becomes—became—Darth Vader." She spoke the name as if it left a bad taste in her mouth, the sadness returning to her eyes.
He swallowed, nodding as relief flooded him that she understood.
"I'm so sorry." The words came out on a rasp. He wasn't even sure what he was apologizing for. For turning out just like Anakin? For believing the same lies? For ripping her family even further apart?
Tears filled Padmé's eyes, her lips pressing together as she shook her head. "No. I'm the one who's sorry. Sorry that I can't stop Anakin from turning to the dark side. Sorry that I'm not going to be there for your parents, for you." She swiped at her tears. "Maybe if I were stronger, things could have turned out differently."
Ben didn't know what to say in response. He wanted to offer some comfort, but what comfort could he give?
He glanced around again. "Maybe you can change it."
Padmé smiled sadly. "I can't. If I change it, then you'll never exist. Rey might never exist." She shook her head. "I don't know what horrible things might happen if things don't unfold the way they already have."
"But they could also be better." Ben didn't particularly want to gamble with his existence, but he had been ready to die for the galaxy if it meant Rey got to live. Padmé pulling him into this place had saved him, but what if he never needed saving in the first place. What if Padmé could bring Anakin back, could lead the Rebellion with her family, with her children by her side.
As if she could see the thoughts running through his head, she shook her head. "I'm not strong enough to change it."
He didn't respond at first, glancing down at her stomach. "It's soon, isn't it. You're going to die."
She didn't answer, nodding as she wrapped her hands around her stomach. She paused a moment before raising her head.
"It's time for you to go back."
Ben glanced behind him, at the doorway, where Rey sat weeping. His heart squeezed, seeing the sorrow breaking her apart.
He looked back at Padmé, wishing things were different, that he could save her and save himself.
Padmé rushed forward, wrapping her arms around his waist and squeezing tightly.
"I'm so happy I got to meet you, to see the legacy I'll leave behind."
Ben hesitated a moment, feeling a strange sense of loss for a woman who would soon be dead—who had been dead long before he was born—before he wrapped his arms around her as well.
After a long moment she pulled away, tears in her eyes. "Never forget, Ben, that your family loved you. Your father, your mother, your uncle, they all died to save you. I'm going to go back knowing my own death will help in saving you as well." Ben sucked in a breath, holding it as he tried to hold tears at bay. "And know that you're worth it, worth dying for, to give you the chance to atone for what you've done, but also to finally be free of the shackles you've worn your entire life."
She smiled as tears fell down her face. "You and Rey, you can end the cycle. You can heal the damage done by Palpatine."
"I wish—" Ben cut off, not knowing how to verbalize his feelings.
"Me too." She took his hand, squeezing it as she inhaled deeply. "Now go back. Go to Rey."
Ben nodded. Padmé dropped his hand as he turned back to the doorway. Rey was sniffling, starting to stand, to dust herself off.
He glanced back once more, trying to memorize the face of his grandmother, and then stepped back through the door.
A/N: Thanks so much for reading! Reviews always Welcome!:)