Mirage
Summary: After a devastating conflict that took the lives of many, Iruka is trying to cope while still continuing to live his life. [Iruka X Kakashi]
Iruka's POV
"Kakashi, move over, you're hogging the bed," I playfully groaned stretching out my arms and legs.
He grinned at me, conceding his precious space on my tiny bed.
Slowly, I rolled over to his side. The sheets felt warm from the morning sun peeking through the window. Grasping his pillow in my hands, I deeply inhaled his scent.
"Even if everything is wrong, everything is right with you here," I murmured contently. "I wish I could stay in bed with you forever."
Peering over, I snuck a glance at my devoted partner. Even when just waking up, he was perfect. His silver hair, although unruly, looked flawless. Even with his mask, I could still see his love for me radiating from his beautiful eyes.
"Fine, fine, I'll get up," I sighed, responding to Kakashi's prodding.
Strolling to the kitchen, I quickly snagged an apple for breakfast before grabbing a stack of student papers, carefully placing them in my backpack.
"Kakashi, I'm heading to the academy. I have to finish grading some papers before class."
He smiled back, giving me one of those lazy half-waves. Who knew what kind of mischief he would get into today.
I arrived at the academy, quickly situating everything at my desk. Pulling out the papers, I thoughtfully organized them in alphabetical order before proceeding with feedback. Thankfully, these papers were able to distract me from my wandering thoughts. I was about halfway through when I heard a soft knock at my door.
"Iruka-sensei. I thought I'd check-in on you. You know, make sure everything is okay?"
Pausing, I looked up to see a pensive Naruto standing in the doorway of my office.
"Hok…Hokage...I…I didn't expect to see you. What a great surprise!" I stuttered in disbelief.
"I just wanted to check in on you and check in on the students. I know some of them lost their parents and we can both relate to that."
"The students are fine…For the most part. Even though this incident happened over a week ago, it still feels quite fresh."
Nodding, I could see Naruto agree.
"Do we know what happened on the mission? What went wrong? I saw the files have been sealed."
"Unfortunately, it was a highly classified mission. All I can say is that without Kakashi-sensei there, the casualties would have been much higher."
I figured…Beneath that olive green jonin jacket was one of the most thoughtful and genuine hearts I had the honor of knowing. Kakashi was always willing to disregard the mission if it meant saving a friend or comrade.
"Well, Iruka-sensei…If you or any of the students ever need anything, you know where to find me."
Thanking the Seventh Hokage, I watched as he left my office, once again leaving me alone with my thoughts and papers. I wish I knew what had happened on that mission. What was so important that the Seventh needed to risk so many ninja lives? Was it worth it? Why was there so much destruction and death in this life?
Shaking my head, I needed to remember that among all the death and destruction, there were always glimmers of hope. One of which was a new group of students vying to become genins. Walking to class, I thought about all the great ninja who had graced these halls. From Naruto, to his father Minato, to Kakashi, to my mentor Hiruzen, and even me. I wish these hallways could talk so they could share their stories and secrets.
"Iruka-sensei, what are we learning today?" asked a young genin innocently pulling on my sleeve.
"The Clone Jutsu. Everyone line up! I'll call you each by name and you can demonstrate your mastery."
As each student performed their Jutsu, I couldn't help but reminisce about Naruto and his "Sexy Jutsu." What a privilege it was to have known and trained our current Hokage. He was definitely a ray of light in these dark times.
After multiple attempts by each of the students, I dismissed the class. Smiling, I watched each student depart to be reunited with their family. As I turned to leave, I noticed one student still remained.
"Chiyo. Let's go. Class is over."
"Iruka-sensei, I don't have anyone to go home to."
Grimacing, I knew that Chiyo was one of my students who had lost their parents. Slowly I walked over to her, sitting down in a nearby desk.
"You know… I lost my parents when I was very young. And I lost other important people in this recent conflict too. Death, unfortunately, is part of life."
"But it's just not fair. I'm six…I don't know anything, I'm just a kid."
Taking Chiyo's hand, I led her to my favorite ramen shop. Like chicken noodle soup, ramen always had a way to soothe the soul.
As Chiyo softly slurped on her noodles, I began telling her my story.
"My parents were killed by the nine-tailed fox, which attacked our village many years ago. It also took the life of the Seventh Hokage's parents."
I noticed the slurping had stopped as I looked down to large, wide, brown eyes.
"The Seventh Hokage grew up without parents?"
"Yes," I smiled. "The Seventh Hokage, like myself, was quite mischievous as a child. Did you know he graffitied the Hokage Rock? You know, the one with all the faces."
"No…" responded Chiyo in disbelief.
"Quite ironic since his face is now up there," I mused chuckling softly. "My point is even though you may feel alone, this village is a family and we will always be here for you."
"But what should I do when I'm missing my parents? Or when I'm feeling sad?"
"Do you have a favorite memory of them? One that always fills you with warmth and happiness? For me, my parents used to always have a candy drawer with mint lifesavers. I used to always try and steal the candy, but they always caught me. It quickly became a game and tradition in our house."
"Yes! We used to go to the lake every summer. I remember fishing with my father and sunbathing with my mother. If I close my eyes, it's like I'm there."
"Remember those memories and hold them tight," I encouraged as I dropped Chiyo off at her house and watched her skip inside.
Glancing down at my watch, it was approximately 7:30 PM. I was late. Instead of turning towards home, I began walking towards the large, black memorial stone, where our village celebrated the lives of those killed in action.
As I approached the monument, I could see familiar silver hair gently billowing in the wind.
"Visiting Obito again?" I called toward the figure.
Kakashi frowned and nodded. His eyes drooped, looking both sad and tired.
Standing beside him, I began tracing the name of every loved one I had lost beginning with my dear mother and father.
"Kakashi, today was difficult. I had to counsel a student who lost her parents. Even though I have lost so many people in my life, it was still such a hard conversation to have. Immediately I thought about us and Naruto since we all grew up without parents. No child should have to grow up alone. Why can't we achieve peace in this world so families aren't broken out of needless conflict?"
"Iruka-sensei? Are you okay?"
Turning I could see Sakura approach, a look of concern on her face.
"Who are you talking to?"
"Just Kakashi, he's right here," I responded gesturing to the man standing next to me.
"Iruka-sensei…There's no one there. You're alone."
Choosing to ignore her, I turned my attention back to the memorial stone. Slowly I began to trace the name "Kakashi Hatake" as memories flooded my senses.
Approximately One Week Earlier
It was well past midnight when I received an abrupt awakening. Someone was aggressively pounding on the door to my small apartment.
"Iruka-sensei! Wake up!"
"Choji, what's going on? It's like 2 AM."
"Captain Kakashi and his unit are back. I thought you'd want to know."
"What?" I gasped. "Where?"
"Massive casualties have been reported. All wounded and dead are being assessed at the hospital. I heard that's where Kakashi is."
Immediately I pulled on my green jacket and followed Chijo to the hospital.
"Kakashi? Where? Where is he?" I roared, grabbing Lady Tsunade by the shoulders.
"Iruka! Quiet! I need you to calm down. Breathe!"
Swallowing, I tried to calm myself with little success. "Please, Lady Tsunade, tell me he's okay."
"Iruka, I need you to focus. He's heavily sedated and on a ventilator. We are hoping that by controlling the pain and helping his lungs breathe, we can buy him some time."
"Where is he? I need to see him…please," I desperately begged.
Following Lady Tsunade, I watched as she pointed to the last door on the left.
As I peered through the doorway, a hard lump rose to my throat as I choked back tears. He looked so small in the hospital bed. His pale skin blending in with the white sheets. Sitting beside him, I slowly stroked his cheek as I assessed his wounds. He had sustained massive injuries, specifically in his chest and abdomen. Some of his bandages were already red, suggesting they could not stop the bleeding. Gently I placed my hand on his chest. I could feel his labored breathing and how his chest moved unnaturally on the vent.
"You can't die," I softly whispered. "You know, I'm nothing without you."
Around 5 AM, he coded, flatlining. Even though Lady Tsunade and Sakura did everything they could, it still wasn't enough. At 5:13 AM, Kakashi Hatake was pronounced dead. He had suffered from massive internal bleeding and sepsis. There was nothing that could have been done. At least he was comfortable in death.
After all the medical personnel left, I slowly crawled into the small hospital bed with him. Carefully, I removed the ventilator tubing from his mouth as I gazed at the beautiful unmasked face of the man I loved. Lightly, I kissed his cold lips before gently resting my head on his chest. Instead of hearing the strong heartbeat I was accustomed to, I was greeted with silence.
Present Day
"I know Sakura. I know he's dead. I watched him die… It's just that I see him and it's like he's still here…Living, breathing, communicating with me."
"He talks to you?"
"They're more like one-sided conversations…But when I talk to him, I can feel him."
"Iruka," whispered Sakura softly as she placed her hand on my shoulder, "I'm not sure that's healthy."
"It's how I'm coping…I can't wake up in the morning without him beside me. I can't tell students that everything is going to be okay when things aren't. How can I be strong when I can't breathe without him?"
Taking Sakura's lead, I sat down on the stone slab, leaning against the giant rock.
"I remember when I first met Kakashi-sensei. He terrified me because I was mesmerized with his power and skill. He helped me recognize the importance of teamwork, and for that I will always be grateful. I couldn't have asked for a better mentor, teacher, sensei, and most importantly friend. It was a privilege to have known him."
"Sakura, don't make me cry. You know Rule #25, a shinobi must never show their tears," I sniffed, hiding my eyes behind my hands.
"Correction, Rule #25, a shinobi must never show their tears during a mission. It's just us Iruka, sitting here remembering an honorable man," replied Sakura, purposely looking away. "When I lost a friend, a wise man once told me to think of a happy memory, one that always fills you with warmth and happiness."
Pushing away the tears, I began to tell Sakura our love story. As I neared the end, I watched you again do your signature half-wave, with a smile on your face, before slowly vaporizing into the cold night air. Even though you're gone, I know you'll always be with me…
Author's Note: Hopefully you enjoyed reading this story as much as I enjoyed writing it. This is dedicated to everyone we have physically lost, who still live in our memories. Reviews are welcome.