[Posted: November 27, 2019]

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Sorry for the delay on this one. This picks up right where Distant Desires left off, so here's that smut I so rudely keep from you all. Enjoy.

Warnings: Nationverse. Explicit Sexual Content. Romance. Angst. Possessive Behavior. Gentle Sex. Oral Sex. Comfort Sex.

The bedroom was dark and cold when Ivan led Gilbert into it. He flipped the light on but dimmed it slightly to provide just enough light to see. One could say it seemed like mood lighting and that thought occurred to Gilbert as Ivan pulled him over to the bed. Ivan turned him, pushed on his shoulders to make him sit, and in sync with each other they moved back onto the bed until Gilbert was at the pillows with Ivan between his legs.

There was something about the situation that made Gilbert's breath more shallow. Maybe it was the romantic environment, the mystery of what Ivan had planned for him, or perhaps it was the look of adoration in Ivan's lavender eyes that Gilbert tried so desperately to ignore. He'd seen that look in Ivan's eyes before but he wasn't sure how he felt about it. All he did know was that it made his heart flutter.

Ivan started with Gilbert's shirt — a simple button-up that he undid every button off before he removed it and let it slip through his fingers to the hardwood floor. Ivan kissed between his pectoral muscles and began a series of soft kisses around the area. Gilbert tilted his head back and bit his lip, covered his eyes with his forearm, and tried to relax.

He couldn't. Ivan was being too gentle. This was how you treat a lover, not someone you just fuck around with. Gilbert hated it, but he loved it at the same time, yet he said nothing; did nothing to stop Ivan.

Continuing, Ivan reached down with both hands and began to undo Gilbert's belt. He knew what he did next would likely cause Gilbert to panic, so he proceeded slowly as he began to pull his pants down. As soon as they pulled down an inch or so, just enough to reveal his underwear and hipbones, Gilbert made a noise and grabbed Ivan's wrists, then Ivan leaned back and sat between his thighs. Gilbert didn't have to speak for Ivan to understand what he was saying. He lifted one of Gilbert's hands and kissed the back of it.

"I know you hate losing control, but let me do this, please," he pleaded against his skin. "I won't hurt you, I promise."

Gilbert covered his face with his arm again in uncertainty and a bit of shyness that was creeping up, which he hated and didn't understand. They had been sleeping together since the late 1700s — one-night-stands, heated embraces in their rooms after meetings and treaty signings, nothing official or romantic, just lust. Despite that, Gilbert almost always refused to get completely nude. Part of it was because he felt self-conscious in his body, but mainly he felt so vulnerable when naked; he had nothing to protect himself with, but with even just one piece of clothing, he felt like he was in control of his body and felt safer, despite Ivan never hurting him or making him feel like he was in danger. It was all in his head.

After a few seconds, Ivan felt Gilbert's body relax somewhat. He knew that Gilbert had trouble with emotions and always struggled with saying what he wanted or liked. Ivan knew how to read Gilbert and knew that his silence meant that he would allow him to continue, but he still didn't want to push too much. He tugged Gilbert's pants down, removed his loafers, and tossed the clothing to the floor, then rubbed his hands up Gilbert's sides until he reached his hips where his tight black underwear hugged him nicely. Ivan was relieved to see the small bulge in the front of the fabric; that just a small amount of attention had affected him. Ivan moved on and pulled his underwear down and slipped it off his knees, but still watched and prepared for if Gilbert said anything, but he didn't.

He had to lean back for a moment and just study his body. Gilbert had many scars and marks from wounds over the centuries, but he had a sort of grace and beauty along with an admirable strength that Ivan had always been jealous of and craved to control. He knew it was selfish — wanting to monopolize him and keep him for himself, but that didn't stop him. Gilbert had already given himself to him in one way or another. Gilbert was an advisor, if nothing else, with no nation to call his own, but Ivan wanted his love along with his lust and strength.

Ivan wanted so badly to tell him how beautifully strong he was and kiss him on the lips as they rarely did, but he noticed that Gilbert had been watching him the entire time and his face was etched with worry and trepidation for Ivan's plan, so he smiled and laid down beside Gilbert and started to rub his belly in a gentle manner.

"What's wrong?" Ivan inquired and kissed his forehead. Gilbert grunted.

"I'd rather you just fuck me, get it over with," Gilbert spoke bluntly but still with a waver in his voice — he didn't believe what he was saying either and Ivan could tell immediately. It was all too soft, too nice, and too romantic for him and Ivan understood that it was new for him.

"Not tonight," Ivan said and kissed his cheek softly. "I told you I wanted to do it differently tonight."

Gilbert didn't reply or resist so Ivan continued to gently kiss his temple and rub his belly, chest, and arms. Eventually, Gilbert sighed and through a lot of effort on his part he relaxed somewhat; he didn't know how to be touched without it being physically demanding of him or hurting a little, and he'd gotten so used to the hurt that he was scared of it being anything else.

Then, Ivan's lips found his nipple and he heard a sound he never heard Gilbert make before. His entire body tensed and shifted, and Ivan had to force himself to not smile. Encouraged, Ivan moved one hand up to the other nipple and began to touch it, rolled and pinched it gently as Gilbert slowly started to loosen up and squirm more. Taking a glance down, Ivan saw proof that his touches were making Gilbert more aroused than usual.

Gilbert was stunned. Usually, sex felt like a continuous pressure in his body before a release of stress, but this felt different; Ivan wasn't penetrating him but he felt nervous. Ivan knew that he was but he kept going and made him hotter and more aroused. The gentle strokes, the kisses and licks, the occasional suck — it all made Gilbert realize that this was what sex was supposed to be; it wasn't supposed to be a chore or hurt at all.

Then it occurred to him — Ivan wanted to make love to him like a real lover would and was showing that to him in that very moment, and to Gilbert's surprise, that only made his groin twist with more arousal and he blushed at the mere thought as his mind ran with the implications. Suddenly he felt so overwhelmed.

Ivan took notice of Gilbert's erection then, completely at full mast much quicker than usual. He was surprised how well Gilbert reacted to soft touches, but maybe that's why he always rejected them — Gilbert hated being treated soft as if it made him lesser or weak, but Ivan was learning that he craved it more than anything.

A hand slipped down Gilbert's body, his skin twitched along the way, and Gilbert let out a quiet whimper as Ivan's fingers wrapped around him. He hated how his voice sounded and how his body shifted at the touch, but his thoughts suddenly focused on Ivan as he squeezed his cock and started to kiss his neck.

All the kissing was very new and Gilbert found himself unsure of how to react so he stayed unnaturally still, until Ivan touched him in one way or another that made him shift or grunt. There was rarely any foreplay with their sex since Gilbert always rejected any of it, often preparing himself before even meeting with Ivan.

After a minute Ivan moved his body down and began to kiss Gilbert's nipples again. Sucked at them until they hardened and bit them softly as it earned a weak noise of pleasure from Gilbert, who tried to suppress it, but with Ivan still slowly stroking his cock he just couldn't help some sounds from spilling out.

It was beautiful to see Gilbert like that, and it filled Ivan with pride.

"Why..." Gilbert muttered. Ivan pulled back to look and Gilbert had once again covered his face with his arms, but he could see the grit teeth and red cheeks beneath. "Why are you doing this?"

Ivan moved up and without any hesitation, he kissed Gilbert's lips. Gilbert's eyes widened in shock and Ivan saw it as he pulled back, but smiled at him.

"We always rush. Never take our time. Even though it's been so long, I rarely see you fully naked like this. You're so handsome, Gilbert, I want to explore your body and make you feel good instead of how we usually do it."

Gilbert whimpered as Ivan sucked on his nipple, but then grabbed his shoulders. Ivan pulled his lips off and halted all his movements, even removing his hand.

"You don't like it?" Ivan asked.

"I...don't hate it..." Gilbert told him with embarrassment.

"Then what?"

Gilbert hesitated.

"I'm just not used to being touched like this, not by you, or anyone..."

"That's why I'm doing it." Ivan kissed his chest. "I hate how we usually do it. It feels bad, like I'm forcing and hurting you. So even if it's just for tonight, please let me treat you good. I won't do it ever again if you hate it, but please..." Ivan pushed his forehead against Gilbert's chest, defeated and hoping that Gilbert would allow him to be vulnerable as well, as Ivan hadn't told him about any of it until then; he was desperate as well. Gilbert blushed and looked at the ceiling, contemplating his decision although it was hard to refuse at all when Ivan was putting his heart on the line.

'You dumbass...' Gilbert internally called him. Hesitantly, he wrapped his arms around Ivan's shoulders with one hand placed onto the back of his head.

"Gilbert?" Ivan questioned with wide eyes and a small blush on his cheeks, still against Gilbert's chest.

"If it means that much to you... Just for tonight," Gilbert agreed to it and Ivan was still for a moment before leaning up and kissing Gilbert's lips softly. Already Gilbert felt overwhelmed by Ivan's touch, but he continued to treat him the same as he moved back down his body. His hands caressed down, squeezed his waist and ghosted his fingers over his hip bones. Gilbert writhed a bit as Ivan kissed his belly, then his groin, before he gasped at a soft kiss to his cock.

It was strange since Gilbert wasn't used to receiving the sort of treatment from Ivan. If anything, Gilbert typically gave him oral if there wasn't time for sex or if they were feeling lazy. Ivan didn't seem shy or inexperienced, just entirely focused on Gilbert, but his heart was pounding in his chest.

At first, it was little kisses to his skin as he held Gilbert's length in one hand while the other rubbed his thigh and hip. It felt good but deep down Gilbert was telling himself to refuse the softness; that it would be better if Ivan just did it normally. If it hurt. Still, he did not attempt to change the situation and so Ivan continued.

Eventually, his mouth opened and Gilbert moaned as he slid deep into Ivan's mouth. He could take the full length and hummed happily around him, which sent subtle vibrations through Gilbert's body that made him whine and grip his fingers into Ivan's ash-blond hair. It was warm and wet and the soft suction felt so good that he couldn't help a few quiet grunts from leaving his throat as saliva built up and forced him to swallow. Ivan blushed when he heard Gilbert; he was reacting so much better than he usually did, and knowing that he could pull those pleasured sounds out of Gilbert rather than the more guttural grunts he was used to made Ivan's heart race with pure elation.

At that moment, as much as Ivan wanted to do everything he'd ever thought of doing to him, he wanted to take it slow and show Gilbert the type of sex they should be having. Keeping his movements slower, he sucked as he bobbed his head up and down in a rhythm, spurred on by the little moans Gilbert tried to stifle by biting his lip.

After a minute or two, Ivan felt Gilbert clench both hands in his hair, his fingers tangled and tugged on his locks in a way that made his scalp sting slightly.

"Ivan, stop— W-Wait—" Gilbert's pitched voice came out in one hasty breath, then choked on his words and grunted, grit his teeth tight and tilted his head back, eyes squeezed shut with pleasure. Ivan used his tongue to tease just under Gilbert's tip before taking him deeply again and giving a tight suck.

Gilbert grunted and his fingers clenched in Ivan's hair as he orgasmed. His entire body felt prickly and hot with sweat and a wave of relief and calm washed over him. Finally, he thought. Finally, he felt the stress drain from him, even if just temporarily.

Ivan moaned and pulled his mouth off with a squelching sound, Gilbert's cock went limp against his groin, then he covered his mouth and swallowed. Afterwards, Ivan just watched as Gilbert breathed softly. He looked so peaceful then; so much different than the look he usually had after sex. However, after but a minute, Gilbert opened his eyes and looked at the other, a small frown took his lips and he narrowed his eyes.

"Are you done?" he asked with a shake in his voice. He looked irritated but couldn't hide the embarrassed blush as he realized that Ivan just swallowed him; something he had never even done.

Ivan kissed Gilbert's belly and tasted his skin and sweat.

"No, I'm not," Ivan said and bit Gilbert's hip. Gilbert responded with a groan and pushed on Ivan's chest.

"Stop, I have to finish my work or else I'll—" Ivan suddenly pushed him down, hands pressed into Gilbert's shoulders and held him still.

"I'm sorry, I can't let you. You can finish it tomorrow." Ivan's eyes were darker and his words almost felt like a quiet threat. But then his expression softened. "I'll help you, okay? I feel guilty for taking you from your work, so..." Gilbert rolled his eyes; he knew Ivan's personality so well by now and he should have seen it coming a mile away.

"If you're gonna feel bad about it then why'd you do it?" Gilbert questioned him.

"Because you needed it," Ivan answered. "But now I'm just being selfish. I want you to stay with me tonight." Despite knowing he was being cruel, Ivan couldn't help it; he wanted to monopolize him and keep him for himself, even if just for the night.

Gilbert let out an irritated groan but still appeared a bit shy.

"Fine, you big baby," Gilbert acquiesced and relaxed his body, then turned onto his side.

Ivan smiled and laid behind him in a spooning position, and then wrapped his arms around him. Gilbert felt a bit awkward when Ivan's erection poked at his back but he ignored it; he was too tired to deal with it and Ivan didn't make any attempts to force him to.

"Don't feel bad..." Gilbert muttered after a few moments of silence. He turned his face into the pillow in embarrassment. Ivan lifted his head a little to look at him and saw how red his face and ears were. "I came here on my own, you didn't force me or anything. You never have."

"You don't have to say things to make me feel better, Gilbert, it's okay if you—"

"I wouldn't mind," Gilbert abruptly interrupted him, "If we...did this again, I mean." His words stunned Ivan, but then his frown turned into a happy little smile.

"Good," he hummed and cuddled Gilbert again. "I prefer it this way."

Gilbert pouted to himself as Ivan held him so sweetly and covered him with a blanket. The warmth was new and it made Gilbert think about the romance of it all, although he tried to force that thought down again.

Deep inside, however, there was a voice that made him want to agree; to say, "I prefer it too," because he really did. It felt so much better like this, but layered on top of that truth was centuries of repression, fear, anxiety, insecurity, and embarrassment. All types of weak emotions that Gilbert tried desperately to hide and ignore in an effort to appear strong.

He supposed it wasn't awful, though, if just one person saw him at his most vulnerable; if he let one person in that understood him and didn't ask questions or judge him.

It was okay if that person was Ivan.

Thanks for reading!
Remember to leave a comment if you enjoyed! Thank you! 💕

Yay for soft gentle sex and Gilbert letting himself be loved on.