It should have been embarrassing.
It should have been embarrassing and yet, once the light had cleared up and they found themselves back in their own beloved classroom, Ayumi didn't hesitate for a second as she dived at Yoshiki. She knocked into him, mindful to keep his injured head off the ground as she wrapped her arms around him and cried out in what could only be called pure ecstasy.
She didn't mind his wide eyes and blush, didn't mind the sound of Naomi and Satoshi all cuddled up behind her because for the moment, she couldn't find it in herself to give a damn.
She was back and she was safe and so were her friends and she was just so relieved. Ayumi was sure that if someone walked in right now and scolded, maybe even suspended them for being at school past closing hours she wouldn't have minded at all. They had made it out alive and that was all that mattered.
Ayumi didn't think much of Yoshiki's lack of response, moved on rather quickly, in fact. She let go of him before he could give a proper reaction, heading for Naomi and little Yuka next and unceremoniously knocking them away from Satoshi as she smothered them in her relief but she didn't care because as of right now, she just wanted to show affection for all of her remaining friends.
And she'd be damned if she allowed things like unrequited love, jealousy and rocky relationships stop her. If that cursed school had taught her anything then it was to appreciate the people and the relationships she had now instead of focusing on the ones she wanted to have.
It was the sole reason she had managed to survive in there after all.
The four of them had grown closer than ever, Satoshi and Naomi more so everyday, and it didn't go unnoticed.
Ayumi had thought she would hate it, that she would let her silly feelings and her growing jealousy speak for her until it would be impossible to turn back. She'd thought she wouldn't be able to stand it, seeing them that close together, thought that she would end up resenting Naomi for it all and if Ayumi was to be a hundred percent honest; she was scared of it.
She didn't want to hate her friends, not after what they'd been through, not after already losing three of them. Ayumi wanted to live her life freely with the people that were still with her no matter what it took.
So imagine her relief when in the end, upon witnessing the pair all cuddled into each other, she didn't feel a thing.
Coincidentally enough, Yoshiki had been with her that day; had spotted the pair a little before she had, in fact. He'd frozen in place at the sight, causing Ayumi to knock into his back at the sudden halt.
"Maybe, uh, maybe you shouldn't- shouldn't, uh, look, Shinozaki…" he'd said, an uneasy look on his face that was only seconds away from a full-blown cringe.
It had already been too late though, she'd already spotted Naomi resting with her head against Satoshi's chest before he'd even been able to finish his sentence. Not that it mattered much, his tone and the look on his face would've tipped her off otherwise.
She'd been dreading the sight at first, simply standing there and staring at the two of them with a blank expression on her face, waiting for the inevitable flood of negativity that was sure to come. Yoshiki was frantically trying to catch her attention, likely to distract her, but she'd been too entranced, like watching a car crash happen, waiting for the incoming disaster but being unable to look away.
And then it stopped.
Satoshi leaned into the touch and Ayumi felt….happy. She felt happy for them.
It'd only been a couple of months since the incident, with little to no sign of recovery from Naomi, so seeing them all cozy together like this...with Naomi looking this peaceful….
Ayumi could genuinely say that she felt happy.
So she reached out towards a still worried-looking Yoshiki, grabbed hold of his sleeve and with the biggest, genuine smile that she could muster she told him she was fine and that she honestly thought that they deserved each other. Her silly little crush was over.
Yoshiki had seemed oddly happy to hear that.
And that was another new thing.
Yoshiki.
Her closeness to him especially had been the center of attention for a short while, garnering even more attention than Satoshi and Naomi had. It seemed like their classmates were simply unable to wrap their heads around the idea of their prim and proper class president being that comfortable with their resident delinquent. They would never understand of course, and frankly, Ayumi couldn't find it in herself to give a damn.
She could stand the rumors, could stand the weird and often unwarranted looks the pair of them got. She could stand it all because if it hadn't been for him, she sincerely doubted she would be here today. Yoshiki had saved her countless of times, had put everything on the line for her even more times. He had helped her through her frequent possessions - which was, to say, a lot. Ayumi honestly had the feeling that out of all nine of them, she had been a victim of possessions the most - had risked his life for her by jumping into a pool to save her despite being a weak swimmer or facing ghost children just so she wouldn't have to. He had been her literal knight in shining armour and she was ever so grateful for that; enough for her to ignore the crude whispers about them.
Do you think they are dating?
Of course not, she would never go for him!
Then why are they so close? Do you think he's blackmailing her?
Her patience, however, was running thin.
Ayumi stared out in front of her, pencil in hand, eyes hazy.
She'd been sketching in the middle of class, just a simple doodle to keep her mind busy since she had already finished all the reading and homework the teacher had assigned them. She'd gone through them like a breeze, the material practically drilled into her head by now so when she showed off her finished work, even her teacher had said she was free to do whatever as long as she didn't disturb the rest of her class.
Her initial thought had been 'as if I ever would.'
Her current thoughts weren't so sure.
She'd been sketching, drawing out a simple character she'd thought up a few nights before but somewhere during the process she'd lost control of her hands and they'd started drawing on their own.
That's how she ended up like this, staring blankly at the piece of paper that now held a familiar pair of cruel, childlike eyes.
And just like that, her mind was flooded with images, with memories she never wanted to experience again. She saw Mayu's corpse gruesomely splattered all over the wall, thick blood, organs and pieces of viscera slowly dripping to the floor. She saw the video of Morishige finally losing his mind and jumping out the window over and over on constant repeat.
She saw the corpse of Ms. Yui, so clear and so horrifying despite the fact that she had never actually run across the body itself while they had been in there.
Ayumi heard the ecstatic laughter, the pained cries, the horrified screams, the sound of blood and organs squelching, the sound of murder.
Ayumi was faintly aware of her surroundings, faintly aware of the urgent calls of her name but to her it sounded like nothing more than hushed static. She was hugging herself, her nails digging into her own arms and she had to be drawing blood by now but it wasn't like she was able to stop herself. She was trapped. Back in that school. Back in the face of death. All on her own.
That's when she felt a hand on her shoulder and on instinct, Ayumi stood from her chair and lashed out with a high-pitched scream before she saw who it was and came back to her senses.
Satoshi was staring back at her with worried, saddened eyes, his hand still hovering in the air from where he'd touched her. Naomi was right behind him, tears in her own eyes because out of all of them she would know what Ayumi was going through the best considering her own frequent trips to the mental hospital as of late.
Finally there was Yoshiki, standing furthest away from her because his seat was all the way across the room from hers and yet he hadn't hesitated to rush over immediately.
People were staring at her, her teacher calling out to her but she stood frozen. The tears quickly started overflowing and she realized that, despite it all, despite all their efforts, it wasn't over. It would never be over because each of them would go on and live with this trauma, with this burden for as long as they lived.
And it was all because of her.
So even with Satoshi right there, even with Naomi reaching out for her, Ayumi ran straight past the both of them and dived for Yoshiki as soon as she got close enough.
He wrapped his arms around her immediately, not an ounce of hesitation in the act and for once, he didn't seem all that flustered by her sudden actions. His face was like steel as he stared down at her, gently caressing the back of her head with a sort of affection not many people got to see him with. Yoshiki shared a brief glance with Satoshi and Naomi, looked around the room filled with peering eyes once, and announced that he'd be taking her to the nurse's office. He took off before he could hear any protests- not that he would have listened to any.
They never ended up going to the nurse's office of course. They could never properly explain the cause of Ayumi's outburst, for one, and he didn't really think it would be smart to take the distraught girl there considering the cause of her distress. Mayu's last moments had been in a nurse's office, after all.
So he took her to the roof, unceremoniously kicking the door shut behind him before picking out a secluded spot to sit down. Ayumi kept crying through it all, head in his chest, her breathing turning short and hurried and before she knew it, she was hyperventilating.
All of a sudden she was back in the basement, watching the second set of murders through Yuki's eyes. The ominous snipping of the scissors, the sound of Ryou's and Tokiko's pained screams and desperate cries for their mothers.
The feeling of those dull scissors being driven into her eye-
"Shinozaki!"
Ayumi looked up at the call, Yoshiki's figure clear yet blurry through the tears. He was frowning at her, the sorrow evident on his face and normally she would have hated it. She would have hated feeling this helpless, would have hated having to rely on anyone- having to rely on a boy because she was too incompetent to get by on her own.
But that was under normal circumstances, and by all means, this wasn't normal.
So she reached up. Ayumi wrapped her arms around Yoshiki's neck and buried her face further into his chest, trying her best to calm both her breathing and her heart to a more regular pace. "I-I'm sorry," she sniffled, tugging him in as close as he could get.
"Don't be," his voice was soft, gentle, his hand still running down her back in slow, soothing strokes. "It's normal after what happened. I'm actually impressed you held out this long," he stated, looking down at her trembling form with a half smile. "I know for a fact you held out the longest out of all of us."
"That's not true, you didn't break down like this."
"But that's what you think," Yoshiki's smile turned sad, his fingers toying with one of her pigtails yet his eyes remained focused on hers, not wavering for a second. "I lost it pretty much the second day we got back, and my sister was there to witness it, too." He chuckled dryly, not an ounce of humour in his voice yet he went on. "It was honestly pretty messy. I was freaking the fuck out and the poor girl had no idea how to deal with it or how to help me. It wasn't like she could go and call our parents either since she wasn't even allowed to see me."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be," he repeated, lightly tugging at her hair with a frown. "There was no way you could have known what was going to happen, Shinozaki, and I'm not going to keep telling you this. None of us blame you, so neither should you."
"But they died."
"And we lived."
"Kishinuma-"
Yoshiki lifted her face, leaning down until his forehead was touching hers and he was close enough for her to feel the brunt of his next words. "We made it out of there because of you. You did your best in there, tried your hardest to find the way out and bring everyone with you. Hell, you even went back when we first made it out, just to get the others out, too. That's amazing, Shinozaki. I know that I, for a fact, didn't even think of going back until you asked me to."
Ayumi couldn't help but chuckle a little. "You didn't seem all that thrilled, no."
Yoshiki scoffed. "Are you kidding?"
"You went back anyway," she said, snuggling further into his chest and for the first time since that day started, Yoshiki seemed bashful.
His cheeks reddened and he looked away, voice lowering. "It- it wasn't like I could just- just leave you there on your own or anything…" he mumbled.
"You did a lot for me, back then," she said, almost wistfully. "You put so much on the line for me and all I did was complain and push you away. I don't know why you even put up with me."
Yoshiki stilled, something flashing in those pretty gray eyes of his. The corner of his lips quirked up into a nervous smile. "Do you actually want me to tell you? Because I'm pretty sure you've already figured it out by now."
She lifted her head, staring back at him with dried tears and a small smile. "I have," she said cheekily. "But it would still be nice to hear it."
"You're going to cause me a lot of trouble, aren't you?"
"Are you complaining?"
"No," he leaned down, faces close, noses touching, whispering the few words she had asked to hear. "I love you."
Ayumi surprised the both of them by leaning into him, their lips brushing just barely before he hurriedly pulled away out of shock. He stared at her with his face so red and his eyes so wide, she couldn't help but laugh.
"I love you too, you know," she finally clarified, secretly relishing in the way he was staring at her stupidly, completely stunned into silence. Her sadistic streak, it seemed, wasn't limited to just horror stories.
"You actually mean it?" He finally asked, apparently still unable to believe it.
"Mhm," she hummed, reaching out for him again, her heart throbbing as he didn't pull away this time. "I wouldn't say it if it wasn't true.
And it was. She really did mean it because honestly? She doubted there was anyone in the world who would love and care for her as much as the blond did. Ayumi was naturally wary of men, with Satoshi and Yoshiki being the only exception and considering she didn't find herself willingly snuggling into Satoshi as easily as she did now, her feelings spoke volumes on their own.
He was her support, was what kept her going, and she wasn't afraid to show it.
Yoshiki leaned in this time, Ayumi meeting him halfway. There was no room for past memories, no room for sorrow, because in that moment, it was just them.
And that was more than enough.