Hedwig ancient owl!
Hedwig Was no ordinary owl, born in 1575 BC she was now the last of the once proud white owls. The most magical and wise owl race that ever existed. Now she sat in a tree thinking about her very long life.
Flashback:
In 54 BC Julius Caesar invaded Britain, 40 000 of Romans who quarrelled and made noise on her island. Hedwig did not like it, so she pooped on Julius head. The stupid Romans took it as an omen when a snow-white owl pooped on their general, it meant that the war would fail and everyone left the island immediately, 100 years of calm followed.
In 489 she met Merlin and the prat prince Arthur. Merlin was not as she had expected. Greatest wizard ever scrubs the floor with a broken brush. She left a gift on Arthur's pillow. Later, when she saw that the animosity between Merlin and Morgana increased, she decided to intervene. Leave flowers on Morgan's bed, stealing their clothes at different times when they are close to each other. Make sure Uther Pendragon disappears without a trace so Merlin can process Arthur in peace to accept magic. Morgana and Merlin got married and Hedwig stayed with the couple for 500 years. That's when she started flying with letters between different households in England. This was soon copied by other magical households. Especially love letter between Salazar Slytherin and a muggle-born witch named Rowena Ravenclaw.
In 958 Hogwarts was founded. The founders could not decide whether to paint the castle green, red, blue or yellow so it became a bit of each. The result was awfully ugly. Hedwig was so shocked that she fainted and was unconscious for 70 years.
In 1066 William the Conqueror Won the Battle of Hasting against the Saxons and conquered England. This time Hedwig had the same plan as 1000 years before but when the soldiers saw her, they thought she was a message from heaven promising victory, so they rushed into battle and defeated the Saxons. The aftermath, however, was not so bad. The church declared her a sacred being and the nobility fed her with bacon and other goodies for the following ten years.
In 1215 The Magna Carta was signed with a feather pulled from Hedwig as she slept on a branch near King John. Whoever took the feather from her ended his days rich and happy, but the poor king was not in good health after Hedwig found her feather in his hand Her claws and beak are not to play with.
In 1314 she chased mice in a Scottish field when a lot of Englishmen barged in. Furious that the hunt was interrupted the magical owl attacked. The Battle of Bannockburn had begun, 25,000 Englishmen against a furious owl. 10,000 did not leave the field. The next day, Robert de Bruce wondered what the fuck was going on here. The freedom of Scotland was won for a time.
In 1588 Hedwig was in such a hurry with a letter that the wind from her wings caused a storm. The Spanish Armada who tried to invade England lost half of their ships and had to give up all attempts at invasion.
In 1805 she hitchhiked with Victory. When cannons began to rumble, and 60 ships shot at each other like madmen she flew away and bit Napoleon because he caused so much noise and in 1815, she stole his secret plans and gave them to the Duke of Wellington
Just to end the noise once and for all.
In 1945 She stole the Elder wand from Gellert Grindelwald when he failed to give her bacon after a delivery of letters. Albus Dumbledore did not make the same mistake so he could defeat his old friend in the following duel.
Present:
Early summer 1981, Lord Voldemort had gathered his Death Eaters for a meeting to evaluate their latest project of becoming an Animagus to gain benefits in battle. So far, the project has been disappointing. Wormtail was a rat and was able to spy on the enemy but Malfoy.
"Really Malfoy! An earthworm, I had low expectations, but this is ridiculous! Bellatrix you are next and dare not make me angry"!
Bellatrix wasn't quite as crazy in 1981 as later, she swallowed nervously and changed shape for the first time.
"A turkey! What in Merlin's pink panties should I do with a turkey. Well, it's almost dinner time. Avada Kedavra"!
Severus Snape had had enough of this madness and turned into a bat and flew away thinking. I can probably support myself by selling magic potions on mail orders in Australia. My second plan to go to Dumbledore is probably not good, imagine if he forces me to teach a lot of dunderhead's potions.
"It is obvious that it is I, Lord Voldemort, the greatest magician ever who must show you how to do it"!
Lord Voldemort closed his eyes and looked inside to find his inner Basilisk or at least king cobra. He felt his magic and changed shape into a little white mouse.
Dinner! Hedwig had only one thought in her head when she saw the appetizing little mouse. She swept down from the tree and caught Voldemort in her claws. The last Lord Voldemort thought before he became owl food was, I should have made those horcruxes after all.
In this way Hedwig ended the war. Dumbledore never realized where Voldemort was. The Death Eaters tried to take over the wizarding world but failed miserably. Wormtail tried to get back to his old friends but they knew he was a traitor. He met his end in the hand of a furious Sirius Black who flayed him with a rusty butter knife.
10 years later, a young boy who was not known as "the boy who lived" was visiting Diagon Alley with his parents James and Lily Potter. It was time for Harry Potter to start at Hogwarts and they were there to purchase school supplies. James had decided that Harry would get an owl so he could send home many letters from Hogwarts, and that they could exchange suggestions for jokes against Slytherin. He slipped away to the owl store when Lily turned her back to surprise Harry later. It was July 31 today and Harry's birthday.
Hedwig had decided to be sold for the 297 time to a wizard family. It was often interesting to see what could happen. And only one family in history had tried to treat her badly. That meant the end for the Malfoy family in 1990, when Draco Malfoy insulted her. Take the warning! Don't insult a hippogriff, or an overly intelligent aggressive owl named Hedwig.
James Potter saw a majestic white owl sitting on a golden perch, and like the rich snob he was, he thought it was good enough for his son and paid without blinking the 10,000 Galleons Hedwig cost. Or that was what he thought, the price was 10 galleons he had only seen the number 10 and drawn his own conclusion.
And that was the story of how Harry and Hedwig met for the first time. The future of Hedwig promised a lot of chaos at Hogwarts and lots of yummy bacon. James got to sleep on the couch for six months after spending 10,000 on something that would cost 10 and Sirus Black laughed until Christmas when he heard about the story of Hedwig and Dumbledore's beard.
The end.