Somewhere off the coast of the Atlantic...
Deep in the bottomless, blue ocean lies the mythical city of Atlantis where the merfolk dwell, secretly away from the air breathers. Ruled by King Poseidon, Atlantis lived for centuries in peace and prosperity and awaited the day when Poseidon's sole heir, Prince Ariello, finds a royal bride and carry on his father's duties as king.
The only problem is that the little prince preferred the company of mermen than to mermaids, which caused quite a conflict within in the castle. After a heavy, heated argument with his father, Ariello swam away to the cave of his aunt, the sea witch Cursula.
Arriving at Cursula's underground grotto, the little merman discovered the sea witch stirring her bubbling cauldron. Her long gray hair drifted along the sea current as the tentacles on the hem of her sequent, designer dress by Cthulhu Klein's Butterflyfish, swayed along with the flow of the water.
"If you wanna take the bait, put a hook on it...Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh...," she sang. Deeply entranced in her song, she barely noticed her nephew swimming toward her.
"What are you doing, Aunt Cursula?" he asked. "Casting a spell?"
"Ariello, didn't see you there!" she gasped. "No just jamming to Betta Ray and making a large pot of clam chowder? Want some?" She slurped the ladle before breaking into another song in delight. "Poor unfortunate clams. Once alive, adding chives…"
"Nah, I'm good," he replied. "But I do need some advice. I got into another fight with Father concerning my sexual orientation and my royal responsibilities as heir to the throne of Atlantis."
"Here we go again," Cursula sighed. "Did that stubborn brother of mine want you to partake in an arranged marriage with that sea-horse faced princess from the neighboring kingdom of Sea World? I heard she was a real bitch!"
"No," answered Ariello. "He was actually being progressive and said I could marry a merman if I wanted to after he learned that some ocean life can reproduce asexually. The whole gay thing seems obsolete at this point."
"That's wonderful!" Cursula squealed in delight. "So, what's the problem?"
"That's just it," he told her. "I found my Mr. Right but he's way out of my league. Like 20,000 leagues under the sea."
"Nonsense," she reassured him. "No one is beyond your reach. I'm a sea witch and a total fish hag! I can cast love spells to ensure that no merman can resist you, especially someone as darling as my favorite nephew!"
"I'm your only nephew," replied Ariello, stating the obvious. "It's more complicated than that, Aunt Cursula. He's not exactly a merman. He's a human."
"By Neptune's beard!" She clutched her chest. "Ariello! Merfolk and humans don't mix. Besides they don't believe we exist. They're total barbarians, walking on two legs thinking they own the land when eighty percent of the Earth is surrounded by water. Have you seen what they did to the water maiden? She's now the logo of Starbucks! My advice is to forget this guy and take your chances with some eligible merman. As a matter of fact, my hairdresser Sebastian is single. He even sings Calypso music..."
"I can't get him out of my head, Aunt Cursula!" Ariello moaned. "He's the most beautiful man I've ever seen. He's a blond surfer that I've seen cruising the beach at night and I think I'm in love with him. I just can't see how the world above can be so bad, especially up where they walk, up where they run, up where they play all day in the sun. Someday I'll be...I wish could be...part of that world..."
"Okay, okay, just stop singing!" She pleaded covering her ears. "Man, you may have the lithe swimmer's build of a twink flounder, but hell you can't sing a song to save a siren. Here's what I'll propose."
"I'm listening."
"On the evening of the full moon I will cast a spell to make you human," Cursula explained. "You have up to four hours until midnight to seduce your human, make him fall in love with you, and return with him here as your life partner in Atlantis."
"Aunt Cursula! Thank you!" Ariello rushed toward his aunt, embraced her, and showered her with a thousand kisses. "When can we start?"
"Why right now! The full moon is up!" She dipped a fossilized sea urchin shell into the cauldron and handed the soup to Ariello. "Drink this. It has a bit of sea cucumber for extra kick."
Ariello gulped down the chowder. He knew his aunt was an amazing cook, but this dish was like nothing he ever tasted. The warm liquid shot through his body, down his stomach, finally finding the bottom of his fish tail that slowly split into two limbs. Scales transformed into human flesh complete with two human legs. In addition, she added that special "part" that determines his anatomy.
The ocean current pulled him up toward the surface of the water as the waves assisted him toward the shore. He crawled to the beach, naked, fatigued and exhausted then laid on his back to stare at the stars and full moon in the sky, releasing a bit of laughter in his human form. That is when he heard it. The music.
From the distance, he could see a small fire on the beach and sitting near the hearth was the blond surfer wearing a hoodie and board shorts strumming his guitar and singing. Ariello began to sing to himself, as well.
Now I've got a junk, toes and some feet
Add in some fingers, arms to make it complete
Wouldn't my Grindr profile
Say I'm the guy with everything?
Look at this pic, gay twinks galore
Do you prefer a leather daddy whore?
Searching around here for kink
I'm into everything!
I've got gadgets and handcuffs a plenty
I've got whips, chains and sex toys galore
(You want poppers? I've got many!)
But like Britney says, Gimme
Gimme More! I wanna be in a Pride Parade!
I wanna march, wanna march down Hollywood,
Walking with those
(What do you call em'? Oh, Drag Queens!)
Spilling some tea, throwing some shade
A death drop is required while dancing,
Tongue popping and shablamming and
(What's that phrase again?)
Gurl, scream!
We are all here! We are all queer!
Fuck y'all, we won't disappear!
We are all free!
Get use to it as part of your world!
Looking for a hook-up
With a bear or even an otter!
Maybe a fem queen or
Masculine gym dude to go?
Say that it's so, come werk this ho!
Perhaps it's daddy issues from my father,
Snatch my wig up, tuck my stick up,
Beat my face and providing all the kiki
Servin' true fish like,
Show em' off, hunty!
Lookin' for trade with a
(What's the word?)
Dick pic. Do something sick-ening!
Remember we'll here!
Remember we're queer!
Bitch, we won't disappear!
Cause', we're part of your world…"
Obviously, the nearby sea gulls heard Ariello's voice and flew away.
You know haters are gonna hate!
From far away, the blond surfer saw the handsome man coming toward him. Blood began to pump in his veins from the sight of the beautiful stranger, coming out of the water. Plus, it helped that little merman did not have one stitch of clothing on. He smiled as handsome fellow kneeled in front of him.
"Are you okay?" asked the surfer. "Do you need some help?"
"No, I'm fine," answered Ariello. "What is your name?"
"Randy," responded the surfer. "Yours?"
"Ariello," the young prince replied.
"Do you always swim naked?"
"Usually."
"I'm a regular around this beach. How come I've never seen you around?"
"I probably swimming when you're not surfing," grinned Ariello. "Do you want to kiss me?"
The blonde surfer named Randy did not take long to answer, while he set his guitar down on the sand. He was used to cruising for guys in public restrooms, but beaches were a different matter, especially at night. And this, stranger in the night, was confident and took the initiative. He admired that.
The two kissed and a good time was had by all.
Later…
Staring at his new lover, Ariella smiled at Randy the realization hit. Midnight would be approaching. Ariello grabbed Randy's hand and directed him toward the water.
"Let's go for a swim," suggested Ariello.
"But it's high tide," said Randy. "We might be caught in a rip current."
"It's okay. You're safe with me," the young prince promised him.
Randy felt Ariello's reassurance as they swam far away from shore. At this point, the merman made his move.
"Do you love me?" he asked the blond surfer.
"What?" answered a confused Randy
"I asked do you love me," Ariello repeated.
"Uh...um...sure."
"Excellent. Now, we'll live happily ever after."
Randy had no idea what Ariello meant by that statement while he treaded water. For in that moment a large wave overtook them pulling them down into the ocean depths. Magical light illuminated around Ariello's human's legs transforming them once again to a fish tail allowing him to grab Randy's hand and pull him away from the undersea current. Once safely out of harm's way, Ariello and Randy swam across the ocean floor toward the underground grotto belonging to Aunt Cursula.
"Aunt Cursula!" exclaimed Ariello. "I did it! I got my human partner to fall in love with me and promise to stay with me forever under the sea! Now we're getting married and my father, the king, will be so happy. Isn't it wonderful?"
Cursula, who had been watching Atlantis Got Talent on her flat-shell screen, turned around to see her nephew hugging his human lover. She hated being the bearer of bad news.
"That's great nephew, but I'm afraid there is one thing I forgot to mention," she commented. "The magic works only on merfolk, not humans. Humans cannot breathe underwater, hon. Sorry, my bad."
Ariello wondered what she meant.
He looked toward a lifeless Randy, completely blue and floating motionless underwater.
"Aww shit!"
THE END.