One day Mario was snorting some coke with the boys when he got a runny nose. He then collapsed and had trouble breathing. His boys were very worried. "Call an ambulance!" said Shaggy.
"Got it," said Sheldon from Big Bang Theory.
When Mario got to the hospital, Doctor Who walked into the room and said, "I am afraid I must diagnose you with coronavirus, Mario. Since you don't eat very well, there is a large chance you will pass away."
"But I exercise all the fucking time!" said Mario. "I should be in great health!"
"Unfortunately," Doctor Who said, "you eat so much pasta and pizza that your carb intake vastly outweighs outweighs any amount you could possibly hope to burn off exercising."
"Ah, shit," said Mario.
But then, something strange happened. Doctor Who began coughing up blood, and collapsed to the floor. A pool of bodily fluids made its way across the floor, as Dr. Phil ran in, and screamed, "Corona!"
"Oh no, not the Mario!" said Mario.
MEANWHILE
"Excellent," said Thanos, as he watched the scene on camera.
"The first step of our plan is in motion!" said Plankton.
"Now we must take this to Phase 2," said Saruman.
"Yes," said Jafar, "we must... bring out the big guns."
MEANWHILE
"We have to help the Mario!" said Shaggy, as he intentionally breathed in paint fumes to get high.
"We gotta ask around... if you know what I mean," said Mike Wazowski.
So they went to the CDC and busted down the door. "Alright, we want the deets, NOW!" screamed Sheldon Cooper.
"Okay, okay!" screamed Meredith Grey from Grey's Anatomy. "We have evidence that another country planted coronavirus here!"
"Which country?!" demanded Shaggy. "Texas?!" (note that this takes place in an alternate universe where texas became its own country in 1972)
"We don't know!" said Dr. Phil.
"Well you better find out," said Goku, "cause our boy Mario is betting on it."
"Mario is dead," said Grey. "He was among the first casualties this morning, along with Peter from the Bachelor and Tom Brady."
"NO!" screamed Homer Simpson.
MEANWHILE
"Excellent, we have the first casualties," said Lord Farquad. "Are they ready?"
"Yes," said the Ender Dragon. "Our plan to restart the Spanish-American war is finally in full motion!"
Chapter 2 coming soon.