Note: This is IStillHopeForSophex speaking.
Hi there!
This story is a collaboration between IStillHopeForSophex and A very obsessed fangirl to proudly present a crossover between two of their infamous OC's(well, as infamous as you can get on here anyways), Gtatemp Guy from Keeper of the Lost Cities: Wanderling, and the crowd from Swan Song! Both of these OC's like to insult their authors, have developed a personality, and brought laughter to the denizens of this fandom. Today, they crossover in an insanely funny story, brought to you by the DocX system, (Inefficiency patent pending), written by both authors! IStillHopeForSophex is writing the odd-numbered chapters and intros, and A very obsessed fangirl is writing the even-numbered ones. This chapter is written half-and-half. So brace yourselves, because there will be blood-colored mallowmelt.
Also, review. By reviewing on this story, you are eligible for the Mallowmelt Reserve Gold™ program, where you review more and we are very happy.
Now, on with the story!
Part the First
At the sophexcave:
Me: (Working on computer) There! My report is finally finished! World war one was started by sharks with lasers. Totally accurate! Now, time for the ceremony! (walks up to podium)
(We see a banner that says "Starcocave grand opening")
Me: Ladies, gentlemen, and wombats! This is an extremely crowded event, I know, so I'm glad you could make it. Welcome to the grand opening of the Starcocave!
(Crickets chirping)
(We see only a couple people in the crowd. GT and Stina are in the front row, holding hands)
GT: I can't believe this is where my first date is happening.
Stina: Well, it's romantic enough. He did put candles out.
GT: Those are wax Fitz replicas screaming in eternal agony.
Stina: Oh. Well, at least it's technically a triple date!
(The other couples in the audience are Sophie and Dex, and Star and Marco)
Me: All my ships are here! I'm so happy. Recently, I watched the amazing show Star vs. The Forces of Evil-
Marco: We're from a show?
Me: Shut it, Diaz, or I'm calling in Janna.
Marco: (whimpers) Whatever you say.
Me: Anyways, I have a new OTP, Starco! So, I'm dedicating the cave right next to the sophexcave to starco! May I present… The Starcocave!
(No one applauds)
GT: (claps erratically)
Me: (gasps) GT! Did you just clap the Gravity Falls theme song?
GT: What's gravity falls?
Me: WHAAAAAAAAT! WHAT DID YOU SAY?
GT: I don't know what that is.
Me: YOU MONSTER! YOU HAVE INSULTED EVERY FIBER OF MY BEING! YOU WILL DIE!DIEDIEDIEDIEDIE!
Stina: GT, maybe you should run.
GT: Relax, he says that, but he never really-
Me: (Turns into the inedible hunk) YOU CAN NEVER EAT ME! I'M INEDIBLE! ALSO, DIE! (yeets GT off the cliff of cliffhangers)
Me:(changes back) Now, where were we?
In the weird abyss of the cliff:
(Things are flying past GT. We see a copy of chapter fourteen of wanderling fly by.)
GT: Well, I'm going to die. It's been a weird life.
(We see a sign that says "Now approaching My-Author-Sucks-Land")
GT: What the- oof!
(Lands on a bounce house)
GT: Where… where am I?
Part the second:
(Meanwhile, in the dark void of A very obsessed fangirl's chromebook, we see what looks like the Colosseum. Spectators watch as she attacks her enemy.)
Me: *Whacking someone/something with a stick* DIE! DIE! DIE!
(Who is her opponent? Well it is none other than...
WRITER'S BLOCK!)
Writer's Block: But I'm not writer's block! I'm that annoying guy in her fifth period class with a sign that says 'writer's block' taped to my head!
Me: YOU ARE THE BEST PERSONIFICATION OF WRITER'S BLOCK THAT I COULD GET ON SHORT NOTICE! NOW SHUT UP AND LET ME DEFEAT YOU!
(A very obsessed fangirl removes a pen from her pocket. She then proceeds to stab "Writer's Block" with it.)
Writer's Block: OH MALLOWMELT! OH THE AGONY! OH, I'M DYING!
Me: Drama quee- oh wait, you really are dying. My bad.
Writer's Block: You killed me! With- with a pen!
Me: Huh. I guess in the case of writer's block, the pen really is mightier than the sword. Next!
(Surrounding the arena is an audience of all the enemies of an author. A very obsessed fangirl surveys them before making her choice.)
Me: WORD COUNTER! GET ON UP HERE!
Word Counter: What did I do?
Me: YOU TELL ME LIES! I write millions of words, but you lie to me and say "oH, tHaT wAs OnLy FoRtY sEvEn!"
Word Counter: Everything I say is completely accur-
Me: *Whacks word counter with stick, then again with pen* LIES!
Word Counter: Ow!
Me: Now, how many words did I write?
Word Counter: Um... seventy five thousand, six hundred and eighty eight.
Me, realizing it would have been easier to type 75,688: That's more like it! Off you go! NEXT!
(Again, she surveys the audience. The next decision is quick.)
Me: Silent readers!
Silent Readers: *Gulp*
Me, whacking them with a stick: WOULD! IT! KILL! YOU! TO! REVIEW!?
(The silent readers do not answer, for they have been killed.)
Me: NEXT!
(As she looks at her spectators, her not teal eyes fall upon her eternal enemy. A very obsessed fangirl cracks her knuckles.)
Me: Crowd. Come and meet your doom.
Crowd: Okay! Like someone as pathetic as you could beat-
(The crowd's sentence is cut off my a fist landing on their face.)
Crowd: Ow.
Me: *Begins beating crowd with stick* YOU ALWAYS INSULT MY WORK! YOUR SOLE PURPOSE IN LIFE IS TO BE A VOICE OF DOUBT IN MY MIND. WELL, I'M SICK OF IT!
Crowd: Wait, but-
Me: *Suddenly gains super strength* *Picks up crowd* You're not a fan of my cliffhanger-y stories? WELL, HERE'S A LITERAL CLIFFHANGER!
(As the crowd is thrown from A very obsessed fangirl's arms, they sail towards the cliff of Chapter Endings.)
Crowd: No! Not the cliff of Chapter Endings, anything but-
(As they fly over the cliff of Chapter Endings, only their fingertips keep them from falling into the dark abyss.)
THE END.
Me: Wait! I kind of need to continue this chapter... so, um...
CHAPTER TWO POINT FIVE:
Crowd: Come on, A very obsessed fangirl! You need me for comic relief in your crappy sto- um, I mean, great story!
Crowd: UGH! WHAT TERRIBLE WORDS HAVE FALLEN FROM MY METAPHORICAL LIPS!
Me: It is a great story! And I can always get a new crowd!
(Abandoned by A very obsessed fangirl, the crowd loses more hope every day, until finally, their fingers slip from the edge of the Chapter Endings Cliff. They scream as they fall into the dark abyss.)
Crowd: AHH! It's worse than a cliffhanger! It's... a clifffaller!
Spellcheck: Um, that's not a word.
Crowd: Don't tell me what is or isn't a- *Sentence is cut off by hitting the ground*
Crowd: Where... where am I?
(As the crowd looks around, their question is answered. Right in front of them is a sign, proclaiming "Welcome to My Author Sucks Land!")
THE END. (FOR REAL THIS TIME.)