Lily remembers things. She remembers a lot of things that most people do not remember. She remembers sleeping a lot when she was a baby, indulging herself with those lovely vivid images and faces that have been with her since she was born. The landscapes, the scenes, the people, they all hold an ethereal beauty that Lily craves. For months she has slept without ever opening her eyes because they were Lily's and Lily was theirs.
Then, Lily notices that Lily is not supposed to be with them. Someone else is. Not Lily, but a girl with beautiful black locks and deep dark eyes that glows red when angered and spins like a wheel. However, even though Lily knows that she is not the one the people want, she still dreams of them whenever she closes her eyes and when sleep comes to drag her to the depths of her mind.
She is not Lily, but she is called Lily. Lily belongs here at this house, and she belongs somewhere far far away, in a different time, in a different place, in a different dimension with the people she loves.
Lily jumps happily out of bed before cleaning up and heading downstairs to eat breakfast. Her platinum blonde hair flies behind her as she runs through the halls of Grace Field Orphanage, her feet hitting the dark oak floor as she dashes. Her sherbet pink eyes light up, seeing the caregiver.
"Good-morning, Mama!" she says grinning and jumps up to hug her.
Mama's laugh is light and soothing to Lily's ears. The purple-eyed lady kisses her head, "Good-morning, Lily."
Lily is a big girl, now at the age of three, so Mama asks her to help set up the table. She does, placing all the cutlery neatly on the pristine white napkins before taking her place beside another kid. The dark-haired boy beside her doesn't say anything even after she says good-morning, making her frown.
When the food comes out, everyone prays before Lily takes enough food for herself and eats, watching the rest of the kids engage in conversation. Glancing at the boy beside her, she notices the little food on his plate, so she slips food onto it before leaving and placing her dishes in the dirty dishes cart. After cleaning up, Mama tells everyone it is time to take their daily test. Everyone moves to the classroom and sits at a desk with large screens on them, putting on headphones. The lights turn off, a buzzer rings, and everyone starts completing their test.
"Age 3, type 4. Answer each question within 17 seconds. We will now begin."
Mama has told her that everyone does tests at the age of three to replicate school in real life. Depending on age, it gives a different amount of time. Everyone starts taking their quiz at three, and after two years, they will get a new type of test. So, when Lily is five-years-old, she will get examination type 3 with 15 seconds to answer each problem. Lily remembers this test is like the IQ test, mixed with arithmetic and logic.
Moving swiftly, Lily scans the barcode for each of her answers and finishes the test with relative ease, but makes sure to get a few questions wrong. When it's over, everyone goes outside to play.
Lily doesn't know very many people at the orphanage. She knows Mama because Mama takes care of her, but she doesn't know anyone else. She doesn't have many friends because the other three-year-olds cannot talk and can barely walk. The older kids don't seem to want to hang out with her either.
Thus, Lily decides she will go for a walk. She steps in a straight line going at a slow and steady pace with her short legs before she stops in front of a river. Hopping on rocks to get over, she eventually reaches a low fence. The fence is short, only reaching her hip. Mama says to stay away from the barrier because it protects them from wild animals, but Lily starts to question how it can if it is so tiny. She begins to think and concludes that it cannot be true, so she climbs over it and continues marching.
Many trees past her and to Lily, it feels as if she has been wandering for forever. Lily briefly wonders if she's going to get lost, but thinks against it. Mama will find her for sure! After a few long minutes of strolling through the woods, a barrier stops her. The wall is tall, ten times taller than her, concrete, and seems to wrap around the orphanage farther than she can see. Walking up to it, Lily runs her hand against it, feeling how smooth it is. She then uses it as a guide for her trip and comes across a gate. It has thick, high, iron bars and red brick walls. It's pretty, she thinks to herself.
"Don't go near the gate. It is dangerous." Lily recites Mama's words.
Looking around, she sees the dark-haired boy from earlier, humming a tune while reading a book. The melody is soft, holding a kind of bittersweet beauty to it. Taking a seat under a tree where the boy cannot see her, she closes her eyes, enjoying the tune.
The following day, she continues to stalk the boy in the forest. Lily studies him as he gazes at the children play before he makes his way to the gate. As she expects, the boy sits under the same tree as yesterday, as well. She watches as the boy opens an oversized book larger than his body as his eyes study the lines as if he was burning the information into his mind. He reads through pages and pages before he takes a break and stares up at the sky.
Lily watches as his expression becomes solemn; his eyes become hollow and dull, his lips turn downwards, and his eyebrows furrow. She feels as if she is intruding on something personal, but she remembers reading from a book that people can learn a lot about others by watching them when they are alone. The blissful tune from yesterday persuades her to stay, but to respect the boy's privacy she turns away from him and lies down.
Closing her eyes, Lily realizes that the boy is around her age, so what could be bothering him? Children are too inexperienced to know about anything that could cause worry. At the house, Mama makes sure that everyone sleeps well, has warm clothes, delicious food, and enough time to play. Life at the orphanage is better than how she remembers them in her old life.
The music ceases, causing Lily to look up at him from behind the tree. His forest green eyes have returned to reading his book, having a livelier look to them again.
Lily smiles at the fact and heads inside for lunch.
Today, Lily decides that she wants to observe her new subject, the boy at the tree. During breakfast, Lily takes a seat in front of him to sneak glances at him and finds that in general, he prefers not to eat much. When it was time to take their daily quiz, she sits beside him and sees him stare intensely at every question. When playtime finally comes, Lily rushes in front of everyone to reach the tree before he does and climbs up, hiding in the leaves. To her delight, he arrives under the same tree again. In his hands, he holds two different books: one about mechanics and another about intelligence.
What odd books for a kid, she thinks to herself before giggling.
The process from the past few days repeats itself, and after a few minutes, the boy looks into space, deep in thought. His deep green eyes become glazed over, and the song vibrates through the air.
Something that Mama said before pops into her mind. "Humans need other humans to develop and grow. Children need someone to support them and teach them. People need friends or family to ease their loneliness. Human connections are vital. Even if an introvert likes to be alone, they still need at least one person they can go to."
The boy is lonely, Lily believes. He sits alone every day by himself, not saying a word, deep in thought. He may not say anything, but Lily could feel his emotions washing over her, drowning her in a pit of pain. Jumping out from the tree, she lands softly in front of him.
"Why are you sad?" she whispers, trying not to disturb his peace. The boy jumps, eyes widening before he composes himself.
"What are you doing here?" He replies, ignoring her question. His voice is defensive, reminding Lily of an angry kitten.
Lily pouts at this. "I asked you first. Why are you always by yourself?"
"Because I like it?" The boy's eyes twitch in annoyance, but Lily could see the way they light up with life compared to the dull, dead look that is usually there.
She huffs, placing her hands on her hips. "That's a lie, but if you don't want to tell me now, that's fine. I'm Lily, and I'm three-years-old. We're friends, so what is your name?"
"Who said we're friends? I don't need to be friends with someone so stupid they're going to die."
"I'm not stupid! I'm super smart! Even Mama says so! And how do you know you're not dumb? Stupid people are too stupid to know if they're dumb, you know?" Lily sticks out her tongue, childishly. The boy sighs before gesturing to the book. "That's easy. Even I can read that."
He sticks out the novel, swinging it in front of her face. "Prove it, then." Words fly out of Lily's lips fluidly as she pronounces everything flawlessly. To be honest, though, the book is rather difficult. The boy's eyes widen in surprise before smirking. "Impressive. I may consider letting you be my friend after I see more of what you can do, but for now, my name is Ray, a four-year-old."
"Ray..." Lily whispers, testing out the name. "I like it." She says after a while.
"As if I care if you like my name or not," he grumbles, but Lily could see the slight red at the tips of his ears as he turns away.
She moves to sit beside him, handing him his book back and singing. "Can I call you big brother?"
"No."
Ray knew from the moment a little girl jumped out of a tree, asked him a question about his feelings, and decided that he was her friend that she was an odd one. His first impression of her was that she was dumb, naive, loud and that she would probably die by the time she reached the appropriate age, of shipment. However, a few minutes after he thought he defined her perfectly, Ray discovered that he was incorrect.
Ray wasn't stupid, and everyone knew it. Having a brain capacity to remember things since he was in his mother's womb and reading books far superior to those kids four years his senior read, proved his point. He knew a lot of things, and he also knew that three-year-olds could not speak the way Lily did. Three-year-olds spoke in crisp, primary level sentences. So, when Lily was able to read the book even he had difficulty understanding, he knew she was some sort of genius.
For the past month, Lily had been following him to his favourite spot and had not left him once, no matter how many times he had tried to get her to leave him alone. She never spoke, and whenever Ray glanced at her, all he saw her doing was closing her eyes while she lays down. It was a stark contrast to how she first introduced herself; sometimes, Ray did not even notice she was there.
"Lily," He called out one day. His book laid forgotten at his side while he eyed the blonde beside him. Pink eyes revealed themselves as the girl flipped onto her stomach. "Why are you always here, idiot? Shouldn't little kids like you play with their friends? Don't three-year-olds enjoy tag or something?"
"You're only a few months older than me, Ray." Lily crawled up to him and sat beside him, leaning her back against the tree. "You want me to leave you alone?" He doesn't reply, so she continued. "I don't enjoy being surrounded by loud noises very much, but this is an orphanage full of young kids. I also do not enjoy being by myself. Mama is the only person I know. Despite how much I love them, they always ask me to do one thing or another, and I have a hard time saying no to them when I just want to sleep."
"So you use me as a way to sleep more and not be lonely?" He asked, slightly offended.
Lily's expression grew a mischievous smirk. "Why? Did I hurt your poor feelings?" She teased.
"As if."
A smile graced her lips as she shifted to sit in front of him. "I enjoy your company, honestly. You can be quiet, and you usually are, but conversing with you is always fun too. Though, if you rather be alone, I don't mind."
Ray searched through her deep coloured orbs, trying to find anything that indicated a lie. He could not find anything in them, however. A solid wall blocked his view from finding anything within. Something tight grew within his chest, but he ignored it and spoke. "It seems you've grown on me, but you still aren't anywhere near being my associate." Lily pouted at his comment, making him smirk inwardly. "I do have a way for you to prove you're smart enough to be my friend, though." He waited and watched as the girl bounced up and down like an excited puppy. "You have to get perfect on a test."
Lily's eyes shone with amusement and radiated a vivid pale pink from the sunlight, reminding him of lemonade. However, what threw him off was how keen the look she gave him was. It was as if she was catching every single one of his reactions. She noticed the smallest things from the twitch of his eye to the furrow of his brows. It reminded him of earlier when he could not find anything in them. He read somewhere that people could detect things in the eyes that the body did not reveal. They can choose to show all their emotions through them, can block all sentiment in them, but cannot fake anything with them; that means that earlier she hid something from him, and right now he could see everything. He discovered two things about her in that one moment: one, her mind was old, older than many adults' lifetimes put together, and two, she didn't realize how old she was.
Yes. There was something that made Lily different from everyone else, and Ray could not wait to learn why.
"Wake up, everyone!" A loud voice calls out in the morning.
Lily stirs awake from the noise before looking around. Pink eyes stare tiredly at the orange-haired girl she has for a roommate. Emma is one of the other four-year-olds at the orphanage and is only four months older than her. Despite this, Lily cannot recall ever having a conversation with the girl.
Bright green eyes peer at her excitedly. "You're Lily, right?" The blonde nods slowly, dazed after just waking up. "I'm Emma! Since you are another kid in my year, I was wondering if you wanted to hang out with me and my friend, Norman. Do you want to sit with us for breakfast before you decide?"
The girl hums in agreement and follows the older to get ready. She yawns along the way.
A bonk to her head clears her mind. "Wake up, sleepyhead."
Looking up, Lily sees a dark-haired boy smirking at her. "Ray!" she whines. "Why do we always have to wake up early?"
"This wouldn't be a problem if you would stop sleeping all the time in the morning. Then you would be able to get some sleep in the night." Ray eyes the orange head beside her. "Who's this?"
"I'm Emma! I'm four-years-old! Are you Lily's friend?
"Mhmm!" Lily jumps up and down. "My best friend ever!"
"No." Ray's fist hits Lily's head again. "Who would want to be friends with this idiot?"
Emma laughs, making Lily pout. "Come sit with us!"
Before Ray can protest, Lily grabs his hand tightly and follows after Emma, not wanting to be left alone with her. Emma seems nice, but she is a bit too loud for her taste in the morning. Ray and Lily sit side by side as usual, and Emma sits in front of them, soon being joined by a boy with white hair and blue eyes.
"This is my friend, Norman!" Emma exclaims.
"Good-morning, everyone." He says politely. "Are you going to play tag with us?"
Lily and Ray share a glance, sharing their lack of enthusiasm. However, Lily knows that they do not want to play for different reasons. Ray does not want to befriend children who he deems are not intelligent enough for him. She, on the other hand, simply wants to catch up on sleep.
A bright smile reaches her face. "Maybe! I want to do something with Ray first, so can we play after lunch?"
"Of course, Lily!"
Mama soon says the morning prayer and everyone joins along filling their plates with food after. Emma and Norman chat, while Lily continuously dumps food on Ray's plate.
"You should eat more." She mutters to him quietly while pretending to eat. "Mama says that kids who eat a lot grow to become super smart and strong!"
Ray's expression grows dark. "You believe everything she says, don't you?"
"Of course I do," She replies, munching on a piece of bread. She makes a quick kick at Ray's feet. "She loves us all a lot, so why would she lie?"
Ray kicks her after, holding back a groan. "How do you know that?"
The blonde glances at Ray. He knows something.
"I don't know," is all she says before continuing to eat. "but good question, Ray. I now have something to investigate for fun."
Surprise appears on his face, but he settles soon after. "Do whatever you want."
The blonde walks outside the orphanage doors, feeling the chill of the November air.
"Ray," Lily calls as they make their way to their usual spot. "Why do you think we have numbers embedded into our necks? Or why is there such a high wall surrounding the orphanage? Why do we always have to wear white, and why do we not get to meet the people that might want to adopt us before we accept?"
Ray glances at the smaller girl. "Where did this come from?"
"I've been thinking about for a while, but I never had anyone to talk to about this. I do not particularly believe the other children are suited for this topic, but seeing how you asked me about Mama makes me think you do. So, why do you think our life is like this?"
The two sit side by side against their tree. Ray hums a sweet tune before he answers. "I think that this place might not be an orphanage."
"Then what is it?"
Ray stares at her, wondering if he should tell her what he thinks. Would she believe him? Is she reliable? Can Lily keep herself from telling anyone? He starts to doubt if she can. He has only known her for a month. It is too soon for her to know anything. She should live in ignorant bliss until it is the time for her to escape. If she does happen to figure out the secret from his hint earlier, then she is bright enough to survive without his help.
"I don't know." He lies, but something flashes in Lily's eyes that makes him think she does not believe him.
The two sit in silence until Lily brings up another topic.
"Will you hang out with Norman and Emma later?"
"Sure," He replies, indifferently. The shriek that comes next makes him smirk.
"What? Why!" She whines. "I had to follow you for days until you let me stay with you without you trying to get rid of me!" She is only joking, of course. It is good that Ray is willing to meet new people. However, Lily could not help but feel the slightest bit of envy from creeping up to her heart.
"That's because you are an idiot and Norman isn't. Norman is the smartest kid in my year and Emma is a fast learner."
"I'm in your year too, dummy." She says, looking away.
An incredulous expression appears on Ray's face. "You are?" A nod is all he gets. Grey-green eyes stare at the smaller figure but does not say anything.
Lunch comes, and Lily has not said a word to him. Even when Ray protests about the amount of food ending up on his plate, she continues without a word. It is now the time for all the children to go outside to play. Emma bounces up to the pair excitedly with Norman trailing behind her.
"Hi, Lily! Hi Ray!" The sunny girl grins. A smile instantly appears on Lily's face, making an irritated feeling bubble in him. Norman greets Ray as well, but he does not respond. Emma drags the younger girl with her into the field; Ray and Norman follow behind.
"Let's play tag!" Exclaims Emma. "I'll be it, so you run away from me, okay, Lily?"
"Okay!" Lily cheers. Ray eyes the girl suspiciously, but he cannot detect anything in her.
The game of tag continues for around an hour without any problems. Lily is often it because her younger body is more vulnerable, Emma seems to be the fastest out of the four, and Norman seems to be trying to apply strategy to the game to make up for his weaker body. Norman would often try to put a barrier in between the person so he could run around them. Ray, however, has not been tagged the entire game. His physical body is decent for a four-year-old, and he also happens to use trickery whenever Emma is it, pointing in surprise at something before dashing off.
When it is time to go inside, Norman runs up to him. They walk side by side with Norman's hands clasped behind his back in an approachable manner.
"So, Ray." He drawls, "How did you find the game?"
"I suppose it was amusing and a suitable way to pass the time." He responds, glancing at the snowy-haired boy. The two arrive in the dining hall and sit beside each other at the table. "What brought on the idea to invite Lily and me? We have never spoken to each other once, and you two already have the two other four-year-olds as friends."
Norman speaks in a polite tone, but his vocabulary is advanced for a typical child. "I suppose it is because Emma noticed how you two never interact with others and wanted to make sure you were not isolated. You seem smart as well, so perhaps you may provide a fun conversation once in a while."
Ray snorted. He notices Lily and Emma sitting together in front of them. Lily glimpses at him briefly but ignores him. Ray furrows his brows.
"You okay?"
"I guess."
Lily lies in her bed, deep in thought. The thought of Ray not seeing her as an equal, how he does not trust her, keeps replaying in her head. She knows that telling a three-year-old a secret that could kill him is not reasonable, but she is not a normal kid, and Ray knows that. Despite this, Ray outright pretends he does not know anything even though she could see the way he blocks off everyone is his way of making sure he does not get attached to people Ray cannot save. Lily is not blind. She has an idea of the reason why the orphans have to wear white clothes, why there is a giant wall, why they have numbers tattooed on the side of their neck. She knows and wants Ray to let her in so that he will not have to carry the burden of truth by himself. He does not trust her. He is lonely even when she is right beside him because he does not acknowledge the fact that she is his friend, and the thought makes her heartache.
What is even worse is how it took her days for Ray to stop telling her to leave him alone, but when Norman and Emma asked, he accepted in little time. She is starting to feel a wee jealous of the two.
Her arm moves to lay onto her eyes, but water seeps through the material. Lily sits up, touching her warm cheeks. The flurry of thoughts stop. Her mind falters at the realization that she is crying. Water trickles down her face like an endless stream, without showing any sign of stopping. Despite how she tries over and over to wipe it away, it never ceases. The sound of ragged breathing escapes her mouth and echoes in the silent room. Why? Why is she crying? He is just some kid she befriended on a whim. He is nothing she should worry herself over.
The shifting of the duvet beside her hits Lily's ears, forcing her to lie down and muffle her cries in her pillow. The person's feet hit the cold wooden floor, and it waddles towards her.
"Lily?" She hears a soft voice question. "Are you okay?"
Pink-eyes meet a brilliant green that glows under the moonlight. "Emma..." She replies weakly. Lily internally cringes at the rough sound. "Sorry I woke you up."
"It's fine!" The older exclaims. "What's wrong, Lily? You can tell me since we're friends now, so if you want it to be a secret, I promise I won't tell anyone."
Lily's breath shudders before she sits up and forces out a playful smile. Taking Emma's hand into her own, she shakes her head. "I don't want to bother you with my problems." She watches as Emma's smile falters. "But can you sleep with me, please?"
A bright grin appears. "Of course!" Emma rushes back to her bed to get her pillow, soon slipping under the covers after. "If you need anything, tell me, okay? We're friends now, so you have to call me whenever you're sad or mad or happy."
"So I have to tell you everything?"
"Yup!"
Lily laughs a little. "Good night, Emma."
"Good night!"