Ichigo's Guide To Dating A Mermaid

Dear Reader, if you find yourself in a relationship with a gorgeous woman whose beautiful legs turn into tailfins whenever they come in contact with water or during any other circumstance whatsoever, then congratulations, you are so screwed! Sincerely, Ichigo Kurosaki

Disclaimer: I don't own bleach and I don't want to :P (but despite the horrid ending, I'm still doing this.)

INTRODUCTION

By Ichigo Kurosaki

I'm not even sure how to start this but I figured that this may just turn out to be beneficial to future generations who may or may not end up in the situation that I'm currently in right now. So first off, this journal is as it says, a GUIDE TO DATING A MERMAID.

Now, I'm sure one or two or most of the lines below have crossed your mind:

1. That's not fucking possible!

2. Mermaids don't fucking exist!

3. This guy must be crazy or high as fuck on something.

4. Why would I even read this fucking thing!?

5. This must be fake as fuck.

6. How the fuck would this guy know anything about that!?

And if that is the case, then, it's a good thing I don't really care about what you fucking think! But let's just say, for all intents and purposes, that the contents of this guidebook are based on actual experience so they're pretty accurate to say the least.

Okay, just so we're clear, let me just say that dating a magical creature is NOT easy. Sure it sounds interesting and it can really be amazing... at times. But, I highly recommend that you DON'T push through with it if you are not ready for the responsibility and the consequences that come with it, especially if you are not very good at handling confusing and stressful as hell situations because I'm telling you right now that you're going to encounter those A LOT. This is not even a fucking joke. It can literally drive you insane (to the point that you decide to write a guidebook just to cope with it).

However, if for some reason you do decide to go with it, because in a way you are a masochist, then lucky for you, someone has already been there! And that's ME (unfortunately). And I'm here to share with you all that I know on WHAT TO DO and WHAT NOT TO DO (because God help you if you do something wrong) when you've decided to date a magical creature. And in this case, we shall focus on having a relationship with a MERMAID.

Disclaimer: If you're dating a magical creature other than a mermaid, I'm not judging, but I cannot guarantee that this guide would apply to you or whatever you're going through but you're still free to read it for some extra knowledge... Hopefully you'll still find it helpful in some way.

And to formally start this thing, here's a little background on Mermaids.

What is a Mermaid?

As defined (and simplified) by I. K.

Mermaids are basically half human and half sea creature. They have different and somewhat unique abilities/traits that can be found in generally most of them (ex. strangely good looking, has a strong connection with sea creatures, etc.) but they also have those that are considered "special" abilities that can only be possessed by a certain type of mermaid (I'll discuss those later on). Some people consider them "gods" and worship them for having abilities unlike that of a mere human but there are also those who wish to capture them for their own personal gain because mermaids, as I said, can be quite magical and powerful. These creatures also have the ability to turn their fish tails into human feet when dry and of course, the opposite happens when their legs come in contact with water.

By the way, before I forget, "Rukia" is the name of the mermaid that I'll be talking about in the next pages.

And because she keeps bothering me about it as I write this, she wants you to know that she'll also be making content contributions to this guidebook because she thinks that it's unfair that I'm the only one contributing (even though it's technically mine to begin with—even has my fucking name on the title) and giving tips / guidelines on how to date her. Well, not her per se but her "kind" because obviously she's with me so you're free to go screw some other half-fish or half- whatever your fetish is, because here's the most important rule that you must always follow no matter what...

RULE NO. 1 (THE GOLDEN RULE)

Never ever enter a relationship with a mermaid named Rukia Kuchiki.

...unless you are ME, Ichigo Kurosaki.

A/N: So I wrote this at 3 am. I'll be going to sleep now. Let me know what you think. *yawns and cuddles comfortably under her blanket* Just kidding! As mentioned in my latest TEP chapter, I cannot help but obsess with this pairing once again and while I'm still clawing myself out of the Ichiruki pit, here's something new... well, new for me at least. A new story and a different style of writing— it's told from a first person POV, but I'm sure I'll still try to stick in a few third person POV writing here and there. Anyway, I figured this would be a great way to practice my writing. You see, the best avenue for my obsessions has always been writing however, with my current state of commitment to my stories, I need something that doesn't pressure me to update constantly because of some thick plotline. This will just be something updated whenever. The story itself would be unveiled throughout the entries but mostly, it would just be something for you to enjoy every once in awhile, hopefully without feeling some sort of major cliffhanger every chapter. Anyway, since a lot is different in this new story, I'll end this by saying hope you guys liked it. Review and stay amazing :)