[Posted: November 13, 2019]

Been feeling a bit stressed lately so here's a short self-indulgent destress drabble. 1,309 words, written in like…2 hours, not revised much.

Mainly Gilbert centered, but Ivan shows up and there are sprinkles of RusPru.

This wasn't written with the intention of being the "beginning" of my Memories series but it fits really well as one of the parts of it, so I added it to the series.

Warnings: Nationverse. Angst.

Gilbert stood there completely bare as the day he was found so many centuries ago. Same as back then, alone and cold. Yet all around him were bright blue flowers. Cornflowers, luminous and dark toward their core. He turned on his heels slowly to inspect them, spinning around and for miles as far as the eye could see the fields of blue went on and on until the image blurred into a haze. The ones closest to him seemed to be looking at him, their centers aimed at him. Gilbert blinked, eyes closed for several seconds before he opened them.

In the distance there was a light, something shining far away from him yet it felt...warm, welcoming. He turned his head to look behind and saw that the sky had darkened. The blue almost faded to a deep gray, the flowers far away from him began to rot and slowly creep towards him. Looking back ahead of him, that bright golden yellow light seemed to shine brighter and brighter.

A pit appeared in his stomach and he began to walk forward. Fingertips ghosted gently over the cornflowers as he picked up speed, their silky petals smooth against his skin. Despite being surrounded by the flowers he felt no resistance as he moved through them. They shifted and moved to his body almost in a way that felt sentient, but he paid no mind to it and eventually was running towards the light.

Slowly that light, bright like the sun got closer and closer, there was a warm that spilled over his skin and filled his cold body with a glowing warmth that comforted the anxiety in his gut.

Then, the cornflowers shifted, faded to dust as new flowers began to pop up. Gilbert slowed his pace and that worry reinstated itself. The light was still there, however, so he continued to walk, but the sight of all the dead flowers — the faint blue rotting to a crusted dark purple, was frightening and filled him with dread. As he ran towards the nearest blooming flower, directly in front of him, its pedals sprung outwards and he was face to face with a tall sunflower, big and bright and acted as a beacon for him.

It felt familiar and warm, yet a cold sensation was clawing at his back. He took a glance over his shoulder and saw the dead cornflowers gripping onto him. He shouted but no sound came out. The dead flowers began to wrap around his legs and arms, and in his mind, he swore he heard a voice whisper "stay" to him in a crawling, grating voice. But that wasn't him, he didn't want to stay, not with these dying flowers. He turned to the sunflower framed by the bright light in the distance and bolted off as fast as he could run.

As he ran, more and more sunflowers popped up, creating a hallway of light and warmth for him that led him towards the light in the distance. Behind him, he saw the cornflowers almost reaching out to him but they were slow and dying and fell further and further behind. The warmth got stronger and felt like he was being hugged by nothing, and his heart beat faster.

"Come back, please," he heard a voice again but it was entirely different from the previous. It sounded familiar. Soft and warm, pleading for him.

He was near the light now. It was so big that it spanned his field of vision but it didn't hurt his eyes at all to look at, instead, it felt warm, safe, and soothing. Around him now all the sunflowers bloomed bigger than any he'd ever seen before. They circled him, moving unnaturally. Vines of green wrapped around his bare arms and slithered up his legs and thighs and circled his waist and chest. To his surprise, it wasn't uncomfortable in the least; it was soft and comforting like a hug. Glancing down, a small bud began to bloom over where his heart was. It pulsed until bright yellow petals were revealed and spanned over his chest as if it represented his heart.

"Gilbert, please..." the voice said again, still soft and sad. A wave of nostalgia washed over him as he recognized the voice. His heart pounded and the sunflower on his chest pulsed and seemed to emit light.

"Ivan...?" Gilbert spoke and this time his voice came out. He heard a noise but was unsure of what it was.

The world around him began to grow darker and darker and in a panic he ran towards the light once more, reaching his hand out as vines slithered up and around his fingers and wrist. His hand gripped something soft and warm, but then everything went dark.

.

The next thing he could hear was beeping but it was warm around him and soft like a cushion. He struggled to open his eyes but he forced them open, blinking as he squinted when the light entered his eyes. Then Gilbert realized that his hand was wrapped around a person's wrist. At the edge of the bed to his left was Ivan, sitting in a chair and leaning partially onto the bed, Gilbert's fingers clasped on his arm. Big lavender eyes stared back at him in shock and maybe even some fear. Gilbert could only look in shock and confusion.

Then, tears began to stream down Ivan's face. "Gilbert?" he questioned as if it wasn't really him.

"Ivan?" Gilbert spoke but his voice was hoarse and weak. "What happened? Why are you here?" he asked. Looking around he saw that he was in a hospital room.

Ivan sucked his lips in and tried not to burst into a sob.

"You don't remember?" Ivan asked. He felt Gilbert's fingers tense on him.

"I...died... Right?"

Ivan lowered his head.

"You've been asleep for 2 years," Ivan said then shook his head. "2 and a half years, it's been a long time..."

Gilbert's expression dropped and he looked terrified.

"No... You're lying," Gilbert refused but Ivan shook his head in an apologetic way.

"I'm sorry."

Gilbert suddenly sat forward and grabbed Ivan's shirt by the collar.

"What about Ludwig? What happened to him? And Germany? What's going on? Why am I back? Where am I?" he asked frantically.

Ivan reached up to touch Gilbert's hand but stopped just an inch above it; he knew Gilbert didn't want to be touched despite the man grabbing him and he knew his place.

"Your brother is fine, and you're in Berlin, but... East and West are..." Ivan paused and looked down at Gilbert's hands, noticed they were shaking and he didn't want to tell him any more of what was happening to his culture. "Gilbert, I think you're East Germany."

Gilbert's hands fell from Ivan's body and he stared aimlessly at his lap.

"And why are you here?" Gilbert's voice was monotone and somehow scary.

Ivan swallowed hard. He didn't want to tell him.

"As ordered... If and when Gilbert Beilschmidt wakes up, he is to travel to Moscow, where he will remain..."

"You're kidding me..." Gilbert growled. "I died and you're dragging me to Russia!?"

"Not me," Ivan clarified and shook his head sadly.

Gilbert had a hard time looking beyond his history with Ivan, especially as the memories began to sink in, but at that moment Ivan looked so exhausted and drained like he'd been beaten and battered. He began to wonder what happened to him over the past 2 years but couldn't focus on it. Gilbert looked down at his hands after pulling away from Ivan. He felt weak and empty, but if he was back it meant he represented something and that something was aligned with Ivan again.

Somehow they kept coming back to each other, after all these years.

Thanks for reading!
Remember to leave a comment if you enjoyed! Thank you! 💕

The sunflowers are symbolic of Ivan being there for Gil when he wakes up, but also it's all symbolic of Gilbert's true feelings about Ivan that he can't ignore in his dream-state like that, the warmth and comfort he feels that pulls him back to the living, etc.