A/N : Hi there lovelies ! I'm nova aka one of the MANY people obsessed with Jolex . This is my first ever fanfiction so you'll have to bear with me here ! I've been toying with ways to write a fix-it since the horror we witnessed of 16x16 and with the help of a very good friend i was able to write this , it's a little short but that is because it's the prologue , further chapters will be longer . This IS a multi-chapter book and i will try my best to upload weekly .

also: please note that request and ideas are always welcome !

Disclaimer: I unfortunately don't own Grey's Anatomy. If I did Alex Karev would still be happily married to Jo :)

Breath Again

I. prologue

I don't want to never see you again

I'm not going anywhere except home with you

Marry me again, Jo

The question in any story is; how did we get from point A to point B? What went wrong, and what went right?

I went to a lawyer and signed divorce papers

I'm in love with Izzie

I'm not coming home, Jo

She'd known something was wrong , she'd known the second she had found out he wasn't in Iowa . But , seeing the papers with petition for dissolution of marriage written out with Alex's messy signature scribbled at the bottom didn't stop the aching that shook her to the core . It leaves her breathless, like when she's running on a treadmill at the gym , or rowing away as if some ghost from the past was chasing her. There is burning in her lungs as she desperately tries to draw in enough air to sustain functionality. She's tired — her muscles are giving out and she just can't anymore. But she has to, and she does, and it just takes five more minutes to realise this .

She slips her lab coat over her navy blue scrubs , she picks up the digital chart from the nurses station and she works . She works with the head of cardio ; Maggie Pierce , to save a heart , ironic right ? Fixing someone's heart while hers was all the way in Kansas .

"Dr. Karev"

Someone is calling out for her but all she can think about is ; is that even her name anymore ? Jo Karev ? She'd taken his name because it'd been if someone who'd loved her , but now ? Now what ? Would she have to go back to Jo Wilson ? Did she want to ?

"Dr. Karev !"

Her head snaps up and she finally registers the urgency of the voice calling out for her . Schmidt is standing in front of her looking slightly out of breath , his hands clasping his knees in front of him , bending over to control his breathing . Though she sees him glance at her with pitiful eyes , she has to look away . It hadn't been a day , hell it hadn't been a full five hours and word had already spread like a wild fire . Soon the whole god damn hospital would know she was mailed divorce papers.

" What glasses " she snaps

" Uh , sorry . . sorry ! Trauma needs a general assist , they're headed to OR 3 , GCS 8 in the field, bp 80/60, pulse 120 . "

Would this day get any easier ?

Four hours later she's outside the loft , keys stuck in the lock while her hands , shaking , wiggling the key until she hears the click of the door unlocking . She takes a minute , Link had thrown the offer of his couch and alcohol out many times throughout the day when he'd been able to grab her in between surgeries .

With a pit in her stomach she'd told him no

she needed to do this .

Finally she slid open the arched oaken door ribbed with iron bands , a gleam of light shinning through from the hallway giving her a clear view of the vacant loft . She closes the distance between herself and the open room , stepping over the threshold .

Closing the door , she flicks the light switch on allowing light to fill the open structured space .

We should have our own place . Just us .

You are my home and you are my heart .

Let's make a baby .

Her hands quivered with sadness and anger just as her lip had when she was in the car starring at the mini garbage bag hanging down from her secret department . And as their life before . . before the letter entered her mind , melancholic waves commanded her body to stop , stop thinking , stop reminiscing , just ..

Stop .

She dropped her bag on the couch , her fingers long and slender swept over the material of the couch . the nights spent curled into alex's side , fresh chinese still on the table in front of them as they snooze away the sleep deprivation from their surgical schedule that week . Then she was headed to the bed , walking like her shoes were too tight , making short little strutting steps like a clockwork shoulder . She sat so stiffly against the bed it was almost if it wasn't her bed .

It didn't feel like it . Not anymore .

she brought the pillow his head had always touched into her lap , clutching the material in her trembling hands . The tears burst forth like water from a dam , spilling down the general surgeons face . The sobs punched through , ripping through her bones , muscles , and gut . It takes her all of thirty minute to calm herself down — she'd have to get used to that now — and when she did , she made the mistake of fishing her phone out from her jackets pocket .

She finds his contact , and for awhile her thumb hovers over the call button .

Holding back tears that felt like lava running behind her eyes again , she shuts her phone off and instead Jo buries her head in her hands .

Breathe . In one , out one . Repeat .