Nobody asked for this, but I wrote it anyway. Here you go.

Edit (4/11/2020): I changed the title, cause I found the perfect pun after publishing. How annoying.

Mishima was confused. Happy, but confused.

He had at first been ecstatic to meet the girl Akira had apparently set him up with - a cute one, he had said! And wow, Mishima knew that girls thought he was a little bit desperate, but that didn't stop him from getting his hopes way up before the meeting.

Then he stepped into Crossroads and all his ideas came shattering around him.

Her attitude was a complete turn-off. She hadn't been interested in him at all! It was "Phantom Thieves" this and "Phantom Thieves" that. Was this how the others felt whenever he went on about the Phansite? If so, he owed them an apology, because wow this was fucking annoying.

At least she was cute. He couldn't help but notice how plump her lipstick made her lips look, or how her long legs looked crossed one over the other (and God damn were those jeans tight). What he wouldn't give to suck on her pale neck until it was dotted with hickeys, or to wrap those legs around his neck and just go to town on her clit. God, now he was getting horny, and if he kept up the train of thought, there was no way she wouldn't notice.

(Did she just make eye contact with him after he was checking her out for a solid five minutes? Fuck!)

By the end of her brutal interrogation, Mishima wanted nothing more than to go back home so he could jerk off and continue to be a complete and utter failure with women.

But before he could go, she got up from her seat and sat down next to them.

Close as she was, MIshsima could smell the alcohol on her breath, though it seemed she was only tipsy and not fully drunk just yet. She leered at him in a way that made him completely uncomfortable - what other questions could she have? And what made it so that she had to be right next to him?

"So, Mishima... have you ever gotten a blowjob?"

Mishima's eyes went wide. Holy shit. That was out of nowhere.

She appraised him, then, and this time her gaze was sultry rather than probing. He felt his face flame up as he belatedly made the realization that yes, he was in close contact with this girl, and yes, she was still cute as hell. Probably even hot, if Mishima had to be honest.

That look combined with her boldness and her body set Mishsima's lower body to attention.

"Oh?" Her grin was teasing, playful, and oh so sexy. "Getting hard just from a little body contact and a question like that?" She got closer to him, close enough that their fore heads were touching and he was sure that she could see right into him. "You've definitely never had a blowjob before."

He summoned up whatever courage he had. "Y-yeah, you're right. What about it?" He looked to the right, hoping to avoid eye contact with her.

"Wanna change that?"

Mishima held fast. He couldn't look at her, couldn't give her attention. This - this bitch, she really thought she could be an asshole to him all night, then try to seduce him, and he'd be all for it?! Who did she think he was?! Some desperate, unlucky, horny bastard?

Mishima almost yelped as he felt her hand start rubbing his hardness through his uniform pants. "Come on, Mishima. Let me pay you back for helping me out tonight."

God dammit, it felt good. Really good. Better than masturbating, and she was only rubbing him with no skin to skin contact. What would it feel like if she…?

No! No, he was stronger than this! He didn't have to stoop this low just to get a girl to pay attention to him. All he had to do was get up and leave.

Then why, oh why, was he still here?

She moved her mouth to his ear and whispered. "Don't you wanna cum in my mouth, Mishima-kun?"

Fuck, Mishima-kun?! He didn't know he had needed to hear something so badly in his life, and his body agreed. He couldn't help himself anymore - he started to moan softly.

Clearly Ohya had been waiting for him to crack, because as soon as he did, she cackled. "Oh, there we go. I wanted to see how long you'd last before I finally got you to admit that you want this."

He chanced a look at her and in her eyes he saw a mischievous twinkle. Where had the insensitive, indecent, rude girl he met gone to? Why had she left this seductive temptress in her place? Whatever the reason, Mishima was glad it had happened.

"O-Ohya…" She leaned forward and kissed him then. Mishima moaned into her lips - so this was what it felt like to make out with someone. She was taking his breath away with every little thing she did. It was like she already knew exactly which buttons to press.

Mishima whimpered as she pulled away after what he thought was too short a time. She chuckled at his expense before finally pulling down his pants. "I love how animated you are, Mishima-kun. Your reactions are worth it on their own."

She got down under the table then, and Mishima's breath quickened. This was it. She was going to blow him. Years of watching porn still hadn't prepared him for this moment, where his cock sat close to Ohya's face, her grinning up at him all the while, her eyes half-lidded and devilish. She knew exactly how nervous he was, and as she slowly began to lick up the underside of his shaft, he knew that she was milking it for all it was worth.

When she reached the head of his cock, there was a brief moment of respite. Then, with a complete lack of urgency, Ohya wrapped her lips around the head of his cock.

Mishima sucked in a deep breath. Holy shit! He clenched the soft leather of the booth they sat in as he tried to hold back. He wanted so badly to yell yes, God yes Ohya, keep doing what you're doing! Instead he had to settle for the same nearly-inaudible groans and moans. Pleasure rocked through him each time he felt the wetness of her tongue lash against the tip of his dick. She was a pro at this it seemed, even if he had no real objective comparison. All he knew was that it felt good and dammit he wanted her to keep going.

After what felt like an eternity, she started to move her head down his member, eyes on him the whole time. He wanted her to speed up and take her time simultaneously - while he didn't want to pop too early, he also felt a primal urge to grab hold of her hair and force her to pick up the pace. Luckily for him, she made the decision on her own, and she started to go faster and faster.

If he listened closely over the smooth piano Lala had going in the background, he could hear her moaning too. He could only assume that the cause was the hand she had hidden from his sight underneath her, and God that was hot to think about. Here he was in public, getting a blowjob from a hot girl while she stared directly at him and got herself off at the same time.

The speed she was going at now was almost unbearable for Mishima. He knew he was risking their getting caught by panting so loudly, but fuck! She was so good.

"Ohya!" he whispered. "I'm so close…" And he was. He knew he was. He could feel that familiar pressure building up, waiting to be released into the world. He knew that if she didn't stop, she'd have to swallow what he gave her.

She raised an eyebrow at him and gave him a look. Was it a hint? It seemed like it, but for what? His pleasure-addled brain almost missed it, but then he remembered - what had she said when she was teasing him?

"Don't you wanna cum in my mouth, Mishima-kun?"

Oh God, he did. He really fucking did.

He reached out to grab her hair, and he let go of any semblance of self-control he had left. Ohya's eyes rolled in the back of her head as he forced his cock down her throat over and over again. It hadn't been a conscious decision on his part to make her deepthroat him, but the pleasure that raged within him told him to fuck fuck fuck her face until she was taking all of him.

Her hand was moving even faster now, and her moans were a little bit louder. He knew she was close, too. He didn't know what it was about him that was helping her get off, but he wasn't about to take it for granted. The view he had of Ohya, spittle dripping down her chin as he ravaged her mouth with his cock and the red flush on her face as she masturbated to it all was just too fucking much.

He raised one hand to bite down on as he climaxed in silence. The other hand went to the back of Ohya's head, forcing her mouth to touch the base of his pulsating cock. He felt her shudder and moan against his groin as he spent himself, pump after pump of his seed coating the inside of Ohya's mouth.

Finally he was spent, and with a sigh he let go of the woman's head. She came away from his dick with a pop, and he flopped back against the seat. He was almost too tired to pull his pants up, but rationality got the better of him. It was one thing to be caught going at it - being seen after you had finished was somehow worse in his mind.

Ohya came up from her place below the table. "So, whaddya think, Mishima? Not bad, am I right?"

He looked at her, and other than her slightly-red skin and her tussled hair, there was absolutely no sign that he has just spent the last few minutes fucking her face silly.

God, this woman was something else.

"Not bad?! That was amazing, Ohya." How could she underestimate herself like that?

She cackled again, a sound that Mishima found fit Ohya perfectly. "Well, I guess I've had some practice." She paused then, seemingly in contemplation. Mishima was content to watch the expressions on her face change from uncertainty to confidence and back to the sultriness she had had on display all night. "Hey, lemme see your phone real quick."

He gladly handed it over without a second thought. At this point, he'd kill someone if she asked him to. She fiddled with it a little bit, typing in something he couldn't quite make out (not that he cared to at the moment).

"There. Now you can call me when you want to return the favor."

Whatever lethargy Mishima had left instantly vacated his body. She had given him her number? She wanted to do this again?! Holy shit.

"Holy shit."

This time, he was sure even Lala heard Ohya's laughter.