Toad and his sister, Toadette we're running through the fields excited.
Toad: Hurry, sis! It's almost time for the joust!
Toadette: Right begins ya, bro!
They stop in front of a cardboard castle with a sign saying "Medieval Moments". A toad blows a trumpet upon their arrival, and the door lowers.
Speaker: Welcome to Medieval Moments. You're just 20 wizard's paces away from swords, sorcery and bad hygiene.
Toad and Toadette run in. A toad in a guard costume awaited them.
Guard: Right this way, please.
Toad: Excuse me, my good man, I believe thou meant to say "Righteth this wayeth".
Both giggle.
Guard: *groan* Some day, but not today.
Inside the castle, Toad and Toadette took their seats in the audience. The latter was chewing on a mutton.
Toad: How's that mutton, sis?
Toadette: Me thinks it's mutton-tastic!
The trumpet sounds and the scene shows two Shy Shys dressed as a Medieval King and Queen. But the King was asleep.
Queen: Morrie, you're supposed to announce the jousting tournament!
The king immediately woke up and began announcing.
King: Good evening, fair patrons of Medieval Moments. By royal decree, we ask that two audience members come forth and participate in the, uhh, royal joust.
Toad and Toadette get excited and raise their hands as high as they could.
Toad and Toadette: ME! ME! PICK ME!
King: Oh, alright. It appears that those two young ones in the front are our lucky contestants tonight. Hooray.
Toad and Toadette: YAY!
They got out of their seats and into the battlefield.
Toad: Isn't this exciting, sis? To think, we'll be watching the joust this close up!
The guard stops them and hands them their outfits and weapons.
Guard: You won't be WATCHING the joust, you're IN the joust.
Toad was boarded onto a Red Yoshi, while Toadette boarded on a Blue Birdo. Both were already regretting this.
Toad: Uh… Toadette, do you know how to ride a beast?
Toadette: Nope.
The riders went in opposite directions.
Toad: Um… Mr. Yoshi, sir. You're gentle on beginners, right?
The Yoshi didn't listen and started charging at the Birdo. The Birdo began charging as well.
Toadette: Toad! HELP!
Hammer Bro: Take her head off!
Toadette closed her eyes and braced impact.
Toad: I don't suppose now would be a good time to ask for a bathroom break!
They collided and Toadette went flying out of the stadium, screaming.
Toad: TOADETTE!
The Yoshi flinged Toad out of the stadium as well. Both Toads landed face first on the ground and got up.
Toadette: Glad that's over.
Suddenly an army of Toads in suits of armor and swords, riding Yoshis approached the Toads.
Toad: Look, some employees from the restaurant came to help us!
Knight: Arrest these traitors for committing the act of witchcraft by falling from the sky!
Toad touches the sharp edge of one of the swords.
Toad: Whoa, they really go that extra mile for authenticity. Salutations fellow knights.
Knight: Silence, heathen!
He slices off the top half of Toad's helmet hat.
Toad: Ah! I get the point.
They are both tossed into the dungeon.
Dungeon Master: Good night, ladies! You'll have many more in here.
As the Dungeon Master left, Toad looked around the many stuff around the cells. Most of which were skulls, and execution tools.
Toad: Gee, sis, these props sure are convincing.
Toadette: I don't know, Toad. I have a feeling they could be more than just props.
Toad: Don't be ridiculous, Toadette. The Dark Ages ended over 500 years ago. The only way this could be real, is if we somehow traveled back in time.
They both suddenly heard bad clarinet music and turned to the source of the noise. It was coming from another cell mate in the dungeon.
He was a jester in red and orange clothes, wearing a hat of the same color. He had elf-like ears, a cone like chin, a jagged black mustache, a pink pointy nose, and brown hair. The man looked like Waluigi.
"Waluigi": Oh, blast this confounded instrument! If I never play with ease, may my own great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandson be cursed tenfold!
Toad: Waluigi? What are you doing here?
"Waluigi" looked confused.
"Waluigi": Dost thou talketh to me?
Toad: Ha! Good one, Waluigi! "Dost thou talketh to me?"
"Waluigi": Scoff not, young squire. Thou hast mistaken me for another. I am Wally, the king's royal fool. Or at least I was until I royally messed up.
Toad: Wow, what'd you do?
Wally: I'll show you.
The jester started singing and dancing.
Wally: I was the king's favorite fool.
I made merry mirth and laughter.
Then I told one bad joke and the king had a stroke,
Now I hang from ye olde rafter.
Toadette's stomach rumbles.
Toadette: What does a girl have to do to get some mutton around here? I'm starving!
Wally: Don't hold thy breath! We'll be lucky if we get fed again by the 12th century!
Toad: They sure do take their role-playing seriously around here.
An explosion is heard outside, startling the three and shaking the room.
Toadette: What was that!?
A large dragon resembling Yoshi wreaked havoc all over Mushroomia (Medieval Mushroom Kingdom) destroying many building as the folks ran. As this was happening, Wally sang another short song.
Wally: The evil wizard's dragon is here.
See the townsfolk scream with fear.
See the townsfolk try to run.
I can tell this won't be fun.
The dragon will torch everything.
Everything in the valley.
Hospitals, schools, retirement homes,
And even ye olde bowling alley.
The dragon approached "Ye Olde Bowling Alley".
Citizen: Not the bowling alley!
The dragon destroyed it, leaving the citizen to grieve.
Toad: Knights, jesters, dragons, medieval bowling alleys, 12th century? You're right, Toadette! We really are in medieval times!
Toadette: How are we going to get back home?
The dungeon master opens up the Toad's cell. He looked like Wario, only he was wearing a dark tan mask over his head, and purple shorts.
Dungeon Master: The king wants a word with you two.
Toad and Toadette walk out of the cell.
Toad: Wait, we don't leave without Wally.
Dungeon Master: Why should I take him?
Toad: Because, umm, Wally has thought of some brilliant songs for the king and he just HAS to hear them. Isn't that right, Wally?
Wally: Absolutely!
He started to play his clarinet, but Toad stopped him.
Toad: Wally, uhh, maybe you should wait for the king to hear that.
Wally: Suit thineselves. Thou dost not knoweth what thou art missing.
And with that, Toad and Co. began to walk over to the king's castle.
At the King's castle, the king was crying due to recent events. He wore a light blue shirt, and purple-blue overalls, along with a red King's robe and a royal crown with an "M" insignia. He had blue eyes, a large nose, a black mustache, and brown hair. He resembled Mario.
Comforting him was his Queen. She looked very similar to the Mushroom Kingdom's modern ruler, Princess Peach, only she had a larger crown with more jewelry, and her dress was a darker shade of pink.
King Mario: Woe is me. Woe is me. Woe is me. What to do? What to do?
Queen Peach: Calm down, honey. We'll defeat him soon. I know of it!
Their daughter, the Princess, walked over to them. She had brown hair that was shorter than her mother's, cerulean eyes, freckles on her cheeks, and was just a little shorter than her father. She wore a tall cone-shaped princess hat with purple and lavender stripes, and a long pink dress that goes up to her feet. She appeared to be but a young child. She resembled Princess Aqua of the Lake Kingdom, who was a good friend of Toad and Toadette's.
Princess Aqua: Father, what art thou going on about now?
King Mario: Oh, just the same ol' thing, dear daughter. It's that wretched wizard Bowsamor! His insidious dragon's destroyed half the kingdom. Soon, there'll be no citizens left, and our kingdom will fall. Not one of my best knights have been able to defeat him.
The King then has a stroke and his wife catches him.
Queen Peach: Honey, remember your blood pressure. I only have a few 1up mushrooms left.
One of the king's henchmen approaches, and he sits back down in his throne.
Henchman: Your highness, the dungeon master has brought the prisoners you asked for.
King Mario: Well don't just stand there, send 'em in!
Henchman: Sure thing, your highnessssssssss.
The King and Queen just stared at each other blankly. Toad, Toadette, and Wally entered.
Toad: Hi Mario! What are you doing here, too?
The King was already offended by the way Toad spoke to him and got angry.
King Mario: How dare you bark at me in that tone, knave! I am the feared ruler of this kingdom and will be addressed as such!
Queen Peach: Tryeth not to make his majesty angry. He's been through a lot of stress lately.
Toad sweatdropped, realizing he made a bad first impression.
Toad: Sorry.
The King's attention was then brought to Wally.
King Mario: And why have you brought this fool back into my throne room?
Wally was a bit nervous, but wanted to be back by the king's side.
Wally: If your majesty may be so kind, I think I have a song that will answer all your questions.
The King hesitated for a bit.
Queen Peach: Maybe we should give him another chance, honey. Perhaps he's learned from his mistakes.
The King facepalmed and sighed.
King Mario: Ohh, alright, alright! But this is your last chance, fool.
Wally: Oh, thank you sire. Thank you! You won't be disappointed.
Wally started singing another song.
Wally: Oh hear me king for I must sing,
How you are the greatest at everything.
Those first two lines made the king smile.
Wally: Like letting a dragon burn down our city,
A horrible sight that wasn't pretty.
'Twas all your fault and 'tis a pity,
The King's smile faded into a frown.
Wally: You are bad, you are to blame,
Now hang your kingly head in shame.
La la, la la, la la, la la, la la, la la, la la, la la!
Wally shook his butt during the la la singing and the King was starting to get angry. Toad and Toadette giggled and started singing along.
Wally, Toad, and Toadette: The king is bad, the king's to blame,
He hangs his kingly head in shame.
La la, la la, la la, la la, la la, la la, la la, la la!
The King was really mad now, his teeth clenched, veins visible on his forehead, and his face red, which made the Queen concerned for his blood pressure.
Queen Peach: Um, honey?
King Mario: GUARDS!
A trio of guards showed up behind the two toads and Wally and grabbed them by the arms.
King Mario: Send these slanderers to the GUILLOTINE!
A curtain opened up, revealing a tall machine with a heavy blade operated by a gorilla resembling Donkey Kong. He pulled the lever, and the blade sliced open a pineapple to demonstrate. Toad, Toadette, and Wally screamed at the thought of getting beheaded.
Toad: Wait, you don't understand! We're not from here!
King Mario: That's because you're WITCHES who were sent by Bowsamor to destroy me!
Toad: No, we're time travelers!
The King doesn't listen and gets more angry.
Toadette: I don't think he knows what that is, Toad.
King Mario: Ok, I'm through playing around. Guards!
He makes a hissing sound while sliding his finger across his neck, giving the guards the signal for the beheading. The guards take the prisoners to the guillotine for their execution. The Princess runs toward her parents.
Princess Aqua: Wait! Mother! Father! You must spare them. Hast thou forgotten about the prophecy?
King Mario: What prophecy?
Princess Aqua: The one right above your head!
She points up to a glass depiction on the window at the top of the throne room. It appeared to be telling a story.
Queen Peach: How long has that been there?
Princess Aqua: The story tells of two brave knights who fall from the sky, and are sent by the king to rid the lamenting town of the evil dragon controlled by the koopa wizard. Father, don't you get it? It's them! These strangers have come to rescue us, like in the prophecy.
When she finished telling the story, said Yoshi dragon broke through the walls of the castle, destroying the window. It roared loudly.
King Mario: How dare you defile my house, demon!
The dragon breathes fire on the King and Queen. Knocking out the Queen, but the King was still standing. The dragon then grabs the Princess, and she screams.
Princess Aqua: FATHER!
King Mario: Princess Aqua! I'm coming sweetheart! Prepare to meet thy maker, foul beast!
The King tries to fight the dragon, but he just flicks him away.
Meanwhile, Toad's head was strapped to the guillotine, about to be beheaded. Toadette and Wally were next in line, being held by guards. Toad looked up at the blade, scared for it to cut off his head. He started to cry.
Toad: Well, I guess this is it, Toadette.
Toadette: I guess so. I'm gonna miss you, Toad!
She breaks down into tears.
Toad: I'll miss you too, sis!
But before Toad could get beheaded, Mario crashes into the guillotine, destroying it and freeing Toad. Mario gets up and witnesses his daughter being taken away by the evil dragon.
Princess Aqua: Daddy, help!
King Mario: AQUA!
The king begins crying once again.
King Mario: Can no one stop this madness?
The sun's light shines upon Toad and Toadette, blinding him a bit. But then he approaches them.
King Mario: You two, my apologies. Most noble and valiant warriors.
He bows down and kisses their feet as apology.
Toadette: I guess this is what you call the royal treatment.
Mario: May Grambi grant you safety on your perilous journey to the evil wizard's castle to which no one has escaped alive!
Toad: We're going on a perilous journey?
King Mario: Well, of course, you're the chosen ones.
The King notices a fractured piece from the window that he never noticed before and picks it up.
King Mario: Huh, what's this? A lost piece of the prophecy? Hmmm…
Toad: Lemme guess, more praise for our heroic stature?
King Mario: Actually, it says I'm supposed to kick you out of here.
The depiction shows the king kicking the heroes out of the castle.
Toad: Say no more, Your Majesty. Us knights are so tough, we kick ourselves out of places. Come on, sis!
Toad kicks himself out of the castle with his own foot.
Toadette: Look out, trouble!
She does the same thing. Wally then comes to the king.
Wally: Well, so much for their company.
He starts playing his clarinet, making the king flinch and stop him.
King Mario: On second thought, you better go with 'em. They could use the entertainment.
Wally: Have it your way.
Wally follows and the King waves goodbye.
King Mario: Good luck, strange ones!
Will Toad, Toadette, and Wally be able to save the fair princess from the evil wizard and his dragon? Find out next time on Toads and Dragons!