NOTE: THIS IS A SEQUEL TO ELA AND JÄGER GO TO RAMRANCH.IN THIS SEQUEL JÄGER AND HIS IDIOT FRIENDS RETURN TO RAMRANCH
READ THE ORIGINAL AND PREQUEL FOR CONTEXT
Tuesday,June 5th 2018,Jasper Canada,Ramranch 7
It was the day the Marines finally raided Ramranch,Rainbow didn't even know Jäger and Ela even returned,or that Prince [REDACTED] was not even here.The 36 cowboys were unaware of what tragedy was about to come.Shawn saw Ford Raptors pulling up and helicopters landing near them, they got their Cock Winchester Rifles and Cock Colt Revolvers ready to fire, hoping they would overpower the advanced Cock M4A1 Rifles the Marines held.The First Cumshot flies past a Young Cowboy we will call Clyde,Clyde ducks and fires his lever action cock rifle,hoping to at least hit someone.The siege last for about 11 minutes,the cowboys in the shower have learned that the yard has been taken,the Marines have the upper hand and advance toward the showers and begin to rape their victims,Clyde,The 18th Naked Cowboy in the Showers If Ramranch is left limp and presumed dead.The shower cowboys drive out the Marines and is left with victory,at a cost.Shawn takes roll call and realizes that there is only 35 of them left,Clyde's body is no where to be found,only Rainbow Team knows.The cowboys cry and mourn in defeat,for they have lost a cowboy.
Tuesday,March 5th 2019,1 Day After Ramranch 105,Rainbow Base.
For the past 9 months,everything to Jäger was a blur,it felt like a week after the "incident",the only consequence was Ela and Iq's friendship falling apart, and the pregnancy,and his growing penis size.Jäger was going to be a dad today,a almost 40 year old dad,as Ela has gone into labor.It all happened so fast,Ela wouldn't talk to Iq for 9 months straight ,Jäger had to get help from Blitz to help him take care of Ela."This is all because of my autism"he thought.Jäger jumped as Ela screamed in pain,Jäger reacted negatively by shrieking so fucking loud it quieted Ela.Iq embraces Blitz to prepare for what is coming to her the second Ela sees the baby.Ela sees this and gets very pissed off and is tremendously cheered up by her child,she smiles but the moment is ruined when she remembers Iq."Don't think I haven't forgotten about what you did to me you German Whore".Ela hands the baby to the nurse and tells Jäger and Blitz to follow her.Ela surprising gets up with blood covering her pussy,she surprisingly kept energy while giving birth,it was more of building up energy.Ela launched herself at Iq with the switchblade she hid,she screamed "IM GOING TO MAKE SURE YOU NEVER TOUCH A PENIS OR DICK AGAIN YOU WHORE"soon followed by a maniacal laugh.Iq grabbed a weird ass candy,possibly gum ,it's color was blue and was in the shape of a thick stick,possibly in the shape of a cigar.Iq took a swing at Ela with the ridiculous weapon,Ela attempted to cut the Gum Cigar in half but the gum was so thick it only made a dent."Damn, that gum stick is as thick as my ass""Shut the fuck up you German Whore". Iq began to stuff 5 Gum Cigars up Ela's ass real bad which she retaliated by shooting all 5 Gum Cigars towards Iq's face,perfectly hitting all 5 shots,leaving only shit,blood and gum aroma lingering. her face.Before shit could escalate,Ash(Leader of Forward Operations and CEO of Fucking Black Men) and Mira(Director of RD) stepped in,forcefully separating the two.They had to stay in the hospital for another day,Only Jäger saw his son,Jakob.Jäger and Ela both decided on the name.
After being escorted out of the Rainbow Team hospital,Jäger's Problems finally settled down,he tried to process what just happened these 9 months while Jakob was crying because of Ela and Iq yelling at each other."Where the hell do I start,oh no,the disastrous wedding" The wedding and the party did not go smoothly,Blitz cried so fucking loud and ugly that he vomited all over everyone,Iq was fucking worse,she was starting to go fucking insane on how her dreams came true,even though she somewhat forced it,even though Jäger and Ela has been secretly dating ever since Ela joined Rainbow.The Party is where things have gotten downhill,EVERY.SINGLE.RECRUIT.CAME.ALMOST.ALL.OF.THEM.GOT.DRUNK.The Drone operators started allowing bets on who's will survive in their own FUCKING DRONE FIGHTING TOURNAMENT,Lion ended up winning most of the matches because the drone ended up raping the others.Thatcher got so fucking drunk and mad,he wouldn't stop being a stereotypical baby boomer and talking about his Reddit status,and raped Dokkabei because "taht goddam tik tok hore won't stahp talking about her lagic bamb!" Mute attempted to blue ball Thatcher but he ended up raping poor Mute because"He betrayed the stopping electronics cause"This caused them to get therapy,which helped greatly.Tachanka and the rest of the Spetsnaz where in charge of cooking.But when Jäger came to check up on them,Finka was performing a Slavic Suck(Succ) on Tachanka ,a move where a partner(male or female)has to do squat kicks while blowing a dude.When Finka finished off Tachanka,The Lord Tachanka said,"alright,who's next?"but then noticed Jäger and announced,"SHIT, SCRAM"Jäger was briefly traumatized, thankfully no damage was done.The Most damage done was the Recruit orgy,about 100 people were in that room having intercourse(yes,female Recruits),anal and oral.In the room that Ela and Jäger would go to if one of got tired or if Jäger got drunk(not that Jäger would since he has presumably Autism).Since Ela got tired,they went to the only to be shocked by grown people possibly in their 20 to 30s having sex.Guess who was in the crowd?Ash got very brave and started confessing her love to Castle and ended up losing her virginity,but at a cost,you see,it has been canonically confirmed that Ash and Mira have a rivalry,you would think Mira would attempt to ruin Ash's moment,right? she fucking filmed them having sex Yes,you've heard me,Mira risked her position as ydirector,to film in a crowded orgy,just to film weird shit Ash said during that moment,so much for blackmail.She ended up presenting the blackmail like this,orgy has finished,all the major operators are waiting for the wedding video,Mira announces,"Well it looks like Eliza Cohen and Miles Campbell have made a tribute video to our newly wedded couple"."What the hell is Mira doing?"She plays the most embarrassing sex tape of the decade,goes like this,"HARDER C-AAAASTLE,FFF-UCCK YEAH,FILL ME LIKE A T-TWINKIE WITH THAT BIG BLACK 7 INCH COCK OF YOURS *moan,remember Miles,I'll always be your Jewish Slut".Plenty of people are shocked at what they have just saw,some get a good chuckle,Ela cringes in embarrassment and regret for not stopping Mira,Mira starts laughing and pointing at Ash saying,"So,are you going to be Castle's Jewish slut and suck his dick?" "Fuck no" Mira forces everyone to chant "Suck his dick"Unfortunately,Ash did and after she was finished,she grabbed a whole pack of beer to cry like a bitch in the restroom.After that incident,Mira told Alexa to play Despacito,everything was just pure awkward silence except for Alexa blasting Despacito full volume. When that finished,Jäger blurted our,"Wow,Ash swallowed Castle's one eyed snake,Elwa does the same with my one eyed snake!" Jäger didn't realize how awkward he made it now,he thought he was trying to be cool but made things worse when "Infact, Elwa does a wot of things to my snake,she wubs it when it gets vewy hard,like wight now"Jäger reveals Ela's hand on his dick,rubbing it fiercely only to be interrupted by embarrassment,Ela shouts "JÄGER I SWEAR TO GOD,YOU ARE SUCH A BRUH MOMENT YOU AUTISTIC BITCH!" Jäger begins to cry like Meatwad from Aqua Teen Hunger Force Forever.Everyone is silent. Ela decides to end the party after the cake cutting,it went well surprisingly.
After Jäger thought of the Wedding disaster,they finally arrived to his unit's house,They finally would have a restful sleep after 9 months,but it was going to be short.He suddenly remembered that Doc took a sample of his semen for one of his "projects". March 14th Thursday 2 Days After Ramranch 107 and 2 Before Ramranch 108 Jäger woke up to a sharp pain on his ass and something heavy on him.He turned around and it was Thatcher caressing his body."Thatcher what the fuck are you doing?"He realized Ela or Jakob wasn't in the room with him. "Damn Jäger,that's a tight little man pussy you have"A familiar giggle was heard,it was Dokkabei entering his room,she was followed by Caveira then Montagne then Maestro and Allibi.They all had one goal in common,they were all going to fuck him.They began to tear his clothes down and proceeded to fornicate with the German.Jäger screamed in pain and try to escape,he quickly grabbed the pistol under his pillow and shot it,it hit no one,but it stunned everyone in the room.He took the opportunity to run and discovered he was the only one here(besides the messed up operators), he heard a helicopter in the distance,as it landed,2 people exited the vehicle it was Jackal and a recruit with their dicks hanging from their bodies."Don't worry Jäger,we won't hurt you,we just want your meaty cock"Jäger realized the others were catching up, He was now sandwiched between them,he decided to go into the forest,as he exited the forest,He found Blitz's car speeding up towards him only to come to a halt,it was Harry."Jäger,get in the car,I'm getting your ass out of here,don't worry your wife sent me"
They arrived at Rainbow's base,Jäger had no idea what the hell was going on,but that didn't matter,he wanted to know if his wife was safe.Inside the base was the rest of the SAS,GIGN,BOPE and every other Organization that wasn't horny as hell.Jäger hugged and kissed Ela when he saw her,Ela was relieved to see Jäger again."I'm so sorry We didn't get you out of the house before "they" came,now go take a shower and put some clothes on,you smell like semen and pussy juice"After Jäger took a shower and got ready he went over to Harry to see what the hell was going on,he found him along side Lion and Finka.Lion and Finka seemed scared and worried about something ,he approached them,They all looked at him,Lion looked nervously towards Harry and said "should we tell him?",Harry nodded."Ok umm,how do I explain this,wel-" "your semen has a virus". Jäger is dumbfounded at what Finka just said,and is very uncomfortable."After you "visited" Ramranch,your genitals started developing a virus,causing your penis to grow after maturity and boosting everyone's sex drive for anyone who comes into contact with the gentials or semen." "The only person who touches my penis is Ela,how did it spread?"Doc kicks busts in the room and says "It was me,I did it" "How though?" Doc explains to Jäger that he had been using and cloning his semen to make special gun rounds and how he made recruits test out the rounds."I was aware of the disease but I didn't know it would develop this badly."Harry dismisses The 3 other operators to calm the disease."Jäger,there is a cure for this disease,the Cowboys have the antidote,you didn't have Ramranch membership dumbass" "Don't call me a dumbass,call that bitch Iq one,she's the one who got all of us in this mess!""Sorry about that" "Ok"
Harry calls a meeting with the remaining operators,he publicly announces that there has been a secret Vietnam like war going on in Canada,an explanation for the shortage of recruits.He tells them that White Mask are trying to take over Ramranch,luckily the casualties are 100% injuries.He assigns operators into 3(maybe 4) squads,Team Blue consisting of Jäger,Ela,Blitz,Bandit,and Iq,Orange Team will consist of Tachanka,Buck,Pulse,Glaz and Rook while Team Omaha will consist of Finka,Lion,Doc,Frost,Mira and Ash. Ash is shocked at her team placement and demands to go with someone else
,but Harry denies.
To everyone,this was Bizzare,but to Jäger,it was just a another adventure.
To be continued(Jojo's Arrow)
This is the first chapter of Jäger's Bizzare Adventure more chapters will come out but it will take a long time.this chapter took almost a month of thinking and school to complete,due to the caronavirus,this might be faster to right.After this story,I might do a spin-off of this series,maybe a cinematic universe? :3