Prompt: "You aren't acting like yourself."
Takes place six months after Frozen I
Author warning: mentions of self harm

Stressed

The gusting breeze bitterly caressed the blonde's face as she shut the window. It wasn't the cold for why she did this, but she preferred not to have rain pouring valiantly into her study room. She had the knowing foreboding that the winds would soon grow and fuse into something stronger. She turned away, blue eyes glinting in the faint luminosity that shone on the window. She listened to the rain slamming mercilessly into the glass of her window before she clenched her fists and ambled gingerly back to her desk, sitting down to eye the documents before her.

Elsa didn't feel like doing paperwork right now—but somebody had to do it, and if not her, then who? The wind whistled in a melancholy melody outside, as though protesting against her antics of shutting the window. She clenched her fists and dropped her head into her hands, feeling overwhelmed. Most of the letters sent to her were meaningless, but it would be unprofessional not to reply back to the sender.

She slammed her hands down on the desk as the wind howled more furiously outside, hastening relentlessly. The blonde looked at her trembling hands and folded them together. She was stressed, and the smallest things were making her frustrated. She shook her head at herself and picked up a quill.

A knock on her door caused her to startle; she dropped the quill and watched droplets splatter hopelessly onto the parchment. She hissed in frustration as she recognized her sister's secret knocking, not bothering with the amusement that Anna still used the code now. It was more of a remembrance of the past, really. Realizing she hadn't replied, she quickly muttered, "Come in."

Beginning to attempt at wiping some ink away, she watched in dismay as it smeared on the parchment. She groaned—that was a dumb decision. She almost forgot Anna was outside the door when she hurriedly opened it. Elsa jumped again, frowning as she picked up the quill and slowly sitting it back in the ink capsule.

She sensed her younger sister about to speak, so she quietly said, "Anna, I'm trying to work right now," and frowned. She sighed in defeat as she gave up on the parchment and crumpled it up, tossing it away.

"I know, but—" Anna's enthusiastic voice faded as she seemed to see her sister's stressed gestures and ambled closer to her. Elsa hadn't glanced up from her documents to look at her sister. The ginger tried again, "I—uh—are you okay, Elsa?"

Elsa quietly exhaled against her frustration, "I'm fi—I'm fine, thank you," she replied flatly, staring at the letters in front of her of other countries wishing to do trade or offering pointless business implications. She ripped the letters up and shoved them aside. Her sister's presence began to agitate her, feeling as though she were hovering. Elsa turned to look at Anna.

"I said I'm trying to work," she said flatly, trying to read her younger sister's expression. She got back a mien of confusion and concern. Elsa's brows hardened—why was she concerned? She was fine. She didn't need Anna hovering over her in a fit of worry.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Anna, I said I was fine, now please leave," the blonde replied coldly, exhaling slowly.

"Okay," said Anna as Elsa turned back to her documents, though the blonde felt a diminutive pang of guilt as she detected the hurt in her younger sister's voice. Before she could say anything, Anna closed the door quietly behind her and left Elsa in a thick silence. She sighed, feeling as though she couldn't please anybody—especially not herself.

Quietly, Elsa read through the documents, but the words barely processed. She hissed angrily and tossed them aside, only to knock parchment off of the desk—the desk shook and the lantern she was using toppled over, flying to the ground and shattering—the ink capsule managed to stay intact. She grunted impatiently, sitting the ink on her bookshelf while she cleaned up the glass.

Once she had finished, the blonde stacked the remaining letters on her desk neatly and threw away the ripped parchment. A bright flash of luminosity startled her outside. Lightning split the sky eerily, and a rumbling, threatening crack of thunder followed. Elsa looked warily out the window, almost unable to see, as the rain poured onto her window in rhythms with the direction the wind blew. She narrowed her eyes, wrapping her arms around herself and turning away from the thunderstorm sight. She wasn't still scared of thunderstorms, of course not. That was childish. However, she gingerly walked out of her study and looked around the dimly lit hallways, seemingly performing a shadow play with the flames dancing upon candles on the wall. The bright fire licked at the wall as Elsa turned down the corner and walked, watching the dark wood as it shook against the thunder.

Lighting split again, flashing in what seemed directly at her. She leaped back, horrified, pressing against the wall before realizing it had only been a trick of the windows and the flames. She gritted her teeth, furious at her behavior. Pull yourself together, Elsa.

With that, she quietly began to walk down the hall again until she reached her room. She was about to step inside of it before she sensed something whisk behind her, buffeting air over. Dainty footsteps echoed around the walls. She whirled around, preparing to face an oncoming offender, but nothing was there. The hallway remained empty, casting eerie, foreign shadows upon the wall. She shivered despite herself as she listened to the increasingly loud pouring of rain upon the roof.

Turning away, the Queen hesitated as she turned her doorknob. Her blue gaze flitted down the corridor, in the direction of Anna's room. If she were to admit it to herself, she felt a bit bad about snapping at her sister. It seemed Elsa broke her sister's spirits about something; Anna had sounded happy when she'd entered her study room, but mournful and slightly regretful as she exited.

Elsa shook her head and softly padded to Anna's room. She heard silence beyond the door and she quietly knocked—no reply came.

"Anna?" her voice echoed in a ghost-like manner through the empty halls as she opened the door and stepped inside the dark room. Outside, the thunder raged and rain poured furiously against the window. No candles were lit in her younger sister's room, no lantern flickering patterns upon the wall. She stepped slowly inside the room, biting her lip. Obviously, her sister wasn't in her room, which was a bit odd. It was almost time for supper, yet Anna didn't dress up for casual occasions. Neither did Elsa, actually. Anna usually talked to Elsa when there was a thunderstorm because she claimed there was "nothing to do." Ironic, for they lived in a huge castle.

But she did try to talk to me, the blonde thought resentfully, and I snapped at her and hurt her feelings. We were doing so much better . . .

Elsa frowned. She'd taken her anger out on her sister. She ambled forward in the shallow darkness and peered out the window. When the rain flew at the window, she flinched slightly. The downpour pirouetted in rhythmic patterns, sometimes blowing to the left, then the right, and then softening up before letting out a storm of anger again. Squinting to look across the fjord, she spotted murky, lower-hanging clouds lingering over the waters. Waves tossed ships and disturbed them slightly, but it was nothing major.

Shaking her head in defeat, she exited her sister's room and headed back to her study, deciding she really didn't have anything to do at the moment. As she neared the door, she heard shortened gasps, as though somebody was struggling to breathe. Their breath hitched as they tried to take in steady breaths. She padded closer skeptically, hearing, more clearly, sniffles.

Confused, she gently eased open the door to her study and peered inside. A fire was now peacefully crackling in her fireplace, and the light of a lantern flickered behind the bookshelf at the edge of the room. She heard shuffling parchment and rasping breaths. Elsa hurried inside and stepped on a stray piece of paper. When she looked around, she realized there was paper scattered everywhere, as though carelessly thrown.

Hurrying forward, she saw a familiar figure, hugging her knees to her chest and burying her head in her knees. Her shoulders were quivering. It was Anna—she rushed over to the familiar figure and went to touch her shoulder, but then thought better of it. She looked down to see a pile of papers strewn across the floor in front of her sister.

"An—Anna?"

Anna raised her head to look at Elsa with teary eyes, and the blonde was surprised to see her face splotchy and red. She'd been crying. Immediately feeling guilty for earlier, she crouched down next to her sister, who flinched back. Rattled that Anna moved away from her, Elsa sucked in a breath, unable to stand watching the tears slide down her sister's face.

Anna dropped a piece of paper, her hands trembling, and broke down more. Elsa slowly took the paper and reached out for her sister, but the ginger flinched back from her again. The older girl looked at the piece of paper in her hands. What could have a piece of paper done to make Anna so upset? She unfolded it and inhaled sharply, seeing a letter from almost five years ago that she'd hid away. In soft, faded writing read:

December 25

I'm sorry you have to find out this way, but if you are reading this, then I have succeeded. Please don't be sad. It had to be for the better; I was only a burden for everyone. Anna will make a great queen. I thought today would be a good day because, well, you guys would be distracted by the good cheer. Please tell Anna I wish her a Merry Christmas and to you guys.

I love you,
Elsa

Dear Lord, no. Not this letter. Why did Anna find this letter, of all things? Why didn't she burn this letter?

Anna let out another wet sob, looking up at Elsa with red eyes. The betrayal and utter sadness in her expression broke Elsa's heart. She tried to move forward again, tentatively, but Anna tensed and pressed against the bookshelf, looking at Elsa.

"You—you were g-going t-t-to k-ki—" she whimpered, burying her face in her hands. She seemed unable to suppress her cries any longer. Elsa felt tears beginning to prick in her eyes, blurring her vision, hating to see Anna so broken down.

"Sh, it's okay—"

"It's n-not okay!" Anna shouted, looking up, surprising Elsa. "It's-s not okay to ki—kill—" she seemed unable to say the dark phrase as she cried. Elsa couldn't take it anymore; she pulled her sister close to her, even as she struggled slightly, though seemed to have made herself weak from crying.

The older sister caressed her sister's arm softly, hoping to get her sister to calm down, "That was years ago, Anna. Everything's okay now. I'm here with you. Nothing bad happened."

Anna dropped her head against her sister's shoulder, "I d-don't kn-know what I w-would do without y-you, Elsa," she whimpered. Elsa made soft shushing noises to calm her little sister, who clung to her as though she may disappear at any second. "I love you, Elsa. Please don't sc-scare me like that ever again," she whispered as she began to relax.

"I love you, Anna. I won't," Elsa said, whispering a quiet "I'm sorry" for earlier. She didn't know if Anna heard her or not, but she betrayed a soft smile.