Lena is staring at the view she has from the balcony of her penthouse. She likes to do that sometimes. It calms her down. Helps her to center herself. To feel grounded.
It's been a couple of hours since Kara has come clean to her about her identity. Something she'd never thought Kara would do ever since she'd found out the truth about who her best friend really is.
Lena kind of refuses to admit it to herself, but seeing Kara in tears, so scared about losing her turns her heart and every inch of her being upside down.
That makes her want to forgive her. To start anew. A fresh clean start. A new beginning. Something that could make their friendship even deeper than it was when she didn't know that Kara Danvers and Supergirl were one and the same.
Lena feels more conflicted than she's ever been with herself. As if there were two parts of herself fighting within her, trying to overtake the other.
On one side, there is the Luthor part, the one she despises so much and would like to get rid of. The one that tells her to do things she would rather much not think about. The one that refuses to forgive the betrayal, and the pain that Kara has inflicted on her. She's a Luthor. Luthors don't forget. They don't forgive. They take revenge over those who wrong them. At least, that's what she's always been told. That's what everyone in this city probably thinks of her. Besides Kara.
Kara who's always believed in her. Always believed that she was a good person. Kara who's always been there for her. Kara who's been able to break the walls that she had always built to protect herself from the outside world. Kara who's rescued her emotionally while Supergirl rescued her physically. Kara who makes her feel safe and warm even after the pain of the betrayal had crashed over.
Which brings her to the other part, the one that wants to allow her to forgive Kara. Because Lena does know that being without Kara would be like missing a limb. It would be like having her heart ripped out of her chest over and over again.
The thought of spending the rest of her life without Kara in it is enough to make tears well up into her eyes. Until she feels someone's presence behind her. Until a feeling of warmth and safety envelop her surrounding.
She blinks several times to chase the tears away, and swallows thickly, hoping to get rid of the overwhelming emotions that keep building up within her.
Emotions that are starting to be too big to be kept neatly in their boxes. And with the weight she feels on her heart, Lena realizes that the boxes she'd thought she could always count on are slowly crumbling down. Crashing over her with a force that she didn't expect.
Lena spins around, facing Kara, or Supergirl. She doesn't even know. All she knows is that Kara's presence or Supergirl's have always made her feel the same way. As if nothing could happen to her as long as this woman was by her side. She also always felt the need to protect both of them. Even that time she's been angry with Supergirl, she'd spent days in her lab working on projects to keep National City's Superhero safe.
Lena internally shakes her head at herself as she stares at her best friend, wondering how the genius she is hasn't been able to put two and two together. Perhaps that's because she didn't want to realize that Kara who's never hurt her before could lie to her face every single day since the two of them met.
The two best friends gaze profoundly at each other, as though they weren't sure how acting anymore. As if something has changed forever between them. And Lena knows that it's the case, and from the way Kara is looking at her, she knows her best friend knows it as well.
After a while, Kara finally breaks the silence that has made the atmosphere around them rather thick.
"Lena, I can't tell you how much it means to me that you were there tonight, that you're even willing to talk to me at all."
Here comes again, the vulnerability and the glistening blue eyes that Lena hasn't been able to stop thinking about since Kara has told her the truth earlier on.
That makes the part of herself that wants to forgive Kara taking an advantage on the other. But she can't forget. She can't act as if she hasn't felt utterly betrayed by the most important person of her life.
Lena knows she wants Kara in her life. But she also does know that she doesn't want things to get back exactly to what they were. They both deserve better than that. That's what Lena thinks before she starts speaking.
"Thank you for telling me the truth, but, Kara, things can't be like they were before. Do you understand? There can be no more secrets between us. I have to be in on everything."
"You will be." Kara assures with a smile. "That's actually why I'm here." She continues, showing Lena a watch. "You know everything now. And if you ever need me, all you have to do is call."
Lena looks down as she takes the watch. She brushes it with her fingers. She looks up at Kara, and for the first time in weeks she gives her a genuine smile.
Kara smiles at her in a way that causes flutters to her heart. In a way that gives her the need not only to forgive Kara, but also to be honest herself about everything that happened lately.
Lena's smile fades as she looks down. She starts nibbling at her lips before pressing them together. She doesn't know how bringing up the conversation she wants them to talk about. The one that could be the final step towards their new beginning.
"You okay?" She heard Kara asking in a genuinely concerned tone.
Lena looks up. Saying that she's okay would be starting everything on a lie again. She doesn't want that. But she also hates being vulnerable. Even though she'd opened up to Kara for years, old habits die hard, and she feels stuck. She doesn't want to stay stuck though.
She sighs. "I don't know. I mean, I'm not sure I'm okay."
Kara steps slightly closer to her, but she still keeps a safe distance between them. As if she were afraid to startle Lena if she were to get any closer. "Do you wanna talk about it?"
Lena furrows her brow. She wants to give in to Kara, she wants to tell her everything she feels. But she doesn't even know where to start. She shakes slightly her head. "I don't want to bother you."
"You're not." Kara smiles. "If you want me to go, I will. But I'm here for you. For anything."
Lena shifts her weight from one foot to the other as if that could lighten the heavy weight that presses painfully on her heart. She swallows thickly. "Can we go inside?"
"Of course." Kara smiles.
Lena smiles slightly at her best friend. She steps closer to her and takes Kara's hand in hers. She doesn't know why she did that. But it feels good, warm and comforting. It gives her courage and strength. It makes her feels that she's gonna be okay. That they're gonna be okay. More than okay even.
She pulls them both inside, and they sit down on the couch, their bodies in such close proximity that their knees are touching. That contact alone in enough to send shivers run down through Lena's spine.
Kara smiles kindly at her, waiting for her to say something.
Lena inhales sharply and exhales heavily. "I already knew you were Supergirl. I've known for weeks."
Kara's eyes widen in what Lena assumes to be shock and surprised. "You? Wha-what? A-and how?" She stammers.
Lena squeezes her eyes shut for one second and breathes out. "Lex told me. He showed me a video, and told me that I was a fool. That was just before he died."
Kara furrows her brow. "I'm not sure I understand…"
Lena swallows thickly. "Can we talk about this later?"
Kara nods. She doesn't want to push Lena to talk about something she doesn't feel ready to talk about. They have enough to talk about anyway. But they stay in silence for a couple of seconds.
Kara sighs deeply and looks down. "Rao! I should have told you the truth that day. I knew I should have..." She rubs her temple and closes her eyes, trying to calm down her breathing.
Lena furrows her brow, but she waits for Kara's breathing to slow down.
"What do you mean?" she asks.
Kara looks up at her, and Lena meets vulnerable glistening blue eyes again. "That day, when we went to Kaznia. When we were on our way back... you started talking about how much you felt guilty for putting me in danger. At that moment, more than ever, I couldn't stand lying to you. I needed you to know that you didn't have any reason to worry about me. That you hadn't done anything wrong. So, I stood up, I took off my glasses and put my hands on my hips, trying to stop my body from shaking. But then... you started talking about how much everyone around you has betrayed you, and I... Selfishly I didn't want you to lump me among the people that hurt you. And... because you mean the world to me... I didn't want you to be hurt because of me. Which I know was stupid, because even though that was the last thing I wanted to do... I hurt you anyway." she says, her voice breaking at the end of her speech.
"At least you're the only one who didn't hurt me on purpose." Lena smiles sadly.
"Does that really make things better?"
"Actually, yes it does. I really want to forgive you completely. And I do know that I will, but maybe that's gonna take some time."
"I know." Kara shudders.
Lena puts her hand on Kara's knee. "I meant what I said earlier. You will always be my best friend, Kara Danvers." She smiles. "And you will always be my hero too."
Kara smiles, a tear rolling down her cheek.
Lena gently catches the tear with her thumb and sweeps it off.
Their gazes are locked together. As if they were hypnotized.
"You're my hero too." Kara says, her voice dripping with honesty.
A surprised expression spreads over Lena's face. "What?"
"You are my hero, Lena Luthor." Kara smiles. "I'm serious. You saved the entire world so many times. And you saved me. I couldn't be more thankful for having you in my life. You are the most wonderful best friend I could have asked for. The most incredible person I have ever met."
Lena feels tears brimming into her eyes. She knows that Kara is truthful in her words. But she's not sure she deserves them. Not sure she deserves her.
"You might want to reconsider that fact." She sighs.
"I don't think I ever could." Kara says with the same honestly.
"I'm not perfect, Kara. I've done things I'm not proud of. I thought of hurting you when I found out the truth. I wanted you to be hurt as much as I was." Lena swallows thickly.
Kara covers Lena's hand that's still placed on her knee with hers. "I can't blame you for that. And that doesn't change anything I just said."
Lena inhales and exhales deeply, trying to calm down her racing heart as Kara's words and the softness of her hand over hers brings that familiar warmth swirling into her, causing goosebumps on every inch of her skin. Not able to keep her tears at bay, they spill out of her eyes slowly.
Instinctively, she gets closer to Kara, and it doesn't take long for the blonde to wrap her in a strong but soft embrace. Lena snakes her arms around Kara as her best friend rubs slow circles over her back as her other hand runs leisurely in her dark-hair.
"It's gonna be okay." Kara whispers softly before giving a kiss into her hair.
Lena tightens her hold onto her best friend as another flood of tears that she held back for too long are silently released freely and without any fear. At that very moment she doesn't care that she might appear weak or vulnerable. She knows that Kara would never judge her. She knows that Kara would always hold her. Would always be there for her. Just like she herself would do the same for her best friend.
Nestled into Kara's warmth, Lena's breathing calms down as her sobs stop. She holds a little while longer onto her best friend, until she slightly pulls away to look at her, their bodies are still in a tight physical contact as they are seated on the couch.
"Can you stay me with tonight?" Lena says.
Kara brings her hand to Lena's cheek, caressing it softly. "I'm not going anywhere." She smiles.
After Lena has loaned Kara one of her pajamas, the two best friends climb onto the bed.
"Oh, Rao!" Kara sighs blissfully as she sinks into the mattress. "Your bed is so... comfy. As comfy as this awesome pajama."
Lena chuckles as she slides under the white cotton sheets. She turns on her side and faces her best friend. A smile sweeps over her face.
Kara turns on her side to face her as well. She looks at her in a different way. In a way that's even more intense than usual.
"I love seeing your smile." Kara says, getting closer to Lena.
Lena feels a blush coloring her cheeks. She doesn't know if that's caused by Kara's words, or the way she's looking at her. Perhaps it's both.
"You're even more beautiful without makeup." Kara smiles as if she were awestruck at the sight in front of her.
More than a blush, Lena feels every inch of her skin burning at her best friend's words and the way her gaze is locked on hers.
As if she's just realized the words that had come out of her mouth, Kara's eyes widen. She clears her throat. "I mean... um. I'm not sure what I mean actually." She looks away from Lena.
Lena feels disappointment pinching her heart. She wants Kara to keep looking at her, talking to her. She feels the need to share physical contacts with her best friend. The only person with whom she likes being touched by, even ever so slightly.
"Kara, can I ask you something?"
Kara looks at Lena again. "Of course." She smiled.
"Would you mind telling me about your life on Krypton?"
"Um... I..." Kara starts chewing on her lower lip.
"You don't have to if that makes you uncomfortable. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked."
"No, that's fine." Kara smiles. "I've been dreaming to open up to you for years, Lena. Just like you did with me."
"What was your name before you came on earth?"
"Kara Zor-El." she says with a slight nostalgia in her voice as every time she pronounces this name.
"That's a beautiful name. It suits you." Lena smiles, unlike Kara previously, she's perfectly aware of the words she said.
And this time, it's Kara's turn to blush. Something that Lena finds utterly adorable. Something that makes another box crumble. But for the first time, she doesn't mind. She's ready to admit what she feels for her best friend. Even if it's just to herself, for now.
"What else do you wanna know?" Kara asks, taking Lena out of thoughts that caused her heart to do more than fluttering.
"Everything you're willing to tell me. I really wanna get to know you, Kara."
"You already know me, Lena. You know me better than most people who have known that I'm Supergirl for a long time."
"Really?"
Kara nods, sliding her hand up to brush Lena's. "You are the only one I've allowed myself to be vulnerable with."
Lena's breath hitches. "I can relate to that." She whispers.
Kara smiles as she interlaces her fingers with Lena's softly.
They stare at each other in the dim light of the bedroom. As if they're realizing that the dynamic of their relationship is slowly shifting in the best way. As if they were slowly becoming what they both feel they're meant to be.
Lena closes her eyes when a tiny yawn escapes her.
Kara brings her hand to Lena's cheek, taking a strand of dark-hair away from her face to tuck it behind her ear before resting her palm over her best friend's cheek. "How about we make a deal? We get some sleep, and tomorrow, I will tell you everything you wanna know."
Lena stares at Kara, wonderstruck at the fact that her best friend, the woman she's in love with is in her bed, about to spend the night with her. "Deal." She breathes out.
After Lena's switched off the light, their bodies slowly find themselves being pressed together in the darkness of the room, as if they were looking for each other's warmth.
As light shimmers slightly into her bedroom, Lena starts waking up that morning. Strong protective arms are wrapped around her as one of her arms is draped across toned muscles. Her head is lying over the softest of surface she's ever slept on. Her eyes flutter open, and a beaming smile spreads on her face.
As it's been happening frequently since the day Kara had told Lena that she is Supergirl, Lena wakes up settled between her best friend's arms.
Months have passed by since that day, and the two best friends have become closer than ever.
Close enough to sleep in the same bed, tangled into each other's arms as if they were dating. Something that got Lena thinking that maybe her feelings for Kara aren't one sided.
She's always been able to feel how much Kara cares about her, but it has become deeper since the blonde can now be completely herself with her.
Their hugs and their eye-contacts are now lasting longer than before, and they have become even more touchy-feely than they were before the reveal happened.
She also often catches her best friend staring at her in a way that no one is supposed to look at their best friend. She doesn't mind though. Quite the opposite. Because she knows that Kara sees her for who she truly is. She knows that Kara sees through anything she shows to the rest of the world.
As Lena is about to search for a subtle way to ask Kara out on a real date, she feels a movement underneath her as her best friend starts caressing her arm.
"Good morning," Kara says, running softly a hand through Lena's hair.
Lena smiles, straightening her stance to look at Kara. "Good morning."
She gazes at Kara's lips, fighting her desire to kiss them as she's done countless time these last years. She shakes slightly her head, trying to shake her inappropriate thoughts out of her mind at the same time. But that doesn't help that Kara is staring at her in awe.
Lena exhales, trying to distract herself. "Breakfast?"
"Yeah," Kara breathes out.
With Kara's super-speed, pancakes and coffee are ready in no time.
Lena smiles as she sits on the couch. She's gotten used to see Kara using her powers with her. And it makes her happy to know that her best friend feels safe enough with her not to hide parts of herself anymore.
Her heart melts and flutters as she takes her breakfast with Kara. She's done it a lot for these past couple of months, and every time it gives her the feeling that she's living a domestic bliss. A domestic bliss with someone she's not even dating.
Something she hopes to change very soon.
Lena puts down her cup on the coffee table. She clears her throat. "Kara, I wondered if you were free tonight… to have dinner with me?" She chews on her lips, alternating from one to the other as she waits for Kara's answer.
Kara's face lights up with the happiest of smile. "If no one decides to wreak havoc on our city, I am."
Lena chuckles. She knows how much Kara loves the fact that she doesn't have to lie anymore about her whereabouts. "Let's hope criminals are going to take a night off then."
"Yeah, let's hope so." Kara smiles, scrambling to her feet. "I have to go. See you tonight."
"Yeah," Lena says before tugging her lower lip between her teeth. It's not the first time she's gonna have dinner with Kara. But that's the first time she's determined to confess her feelings to her best friend. She's nervous, although she's almost certain that Kara feels the same way about her.
She gets up to her feet as well. "Be careful, please."
"Always," Kara smiles, changing into her suit and walking to Lena. "Have a nice day, babe." she says, connecting their lips in a quick kiss.
Lena has barely time to register what's happening that Kara is already pulling away and flies through the windows of her penthouse.
She stands for a while in the middle of room. Her brow furrows in confusion as she wonders if they have already started dating without realizing it. A smile lights up her face when the fact that Kara has just kissed her on the lips made its way into her mind.
It's safe to say that Kara's kiss has been the only thing Lena's been able to think about for the all day.
Early in the evening, she sits down on the couch, and waits for Kara to arrive. She's eager and nervous. Her lips are still tingling from the kiss of this morning. Warmth still whirls into her. Her heart is still fluttering. And if she hadn't been already certain that she was in love with her best friend, all these feelings that are merging together would have been enough to make her realize that fact at this very moment.
She spins her head to the balcony when she hears a whooshing sound.
Kara lands with a smile and waves at her.
Lena smiles back as she stands up and stroll to open the windows.
Kara looks down as she steps into the room.
"You okay?" Lena says, worries settling into her.
Kara looks up, her eyes are glistening slightly. "Yeah, um... I'm sorry, Lena, for this morning. I don't know what's gotten into me. I just... I'm sorry."
Lena furrows her brow. "What are you apologizing for?"
Kara inhales and exhales. "For kissing you. I'm sorry. It was totally inappropriate. Even more so, since that I haven't even realized what I did before Alex pointed out to me that I had lipstick that obviously didn't belong to me on my lips. That's when the memories of what happened, of what I did before I left hit me."
"Would you like to do it again?"
"Do what?"
"Kissing me." Lena chuckles.
"I... um..." Kara licks her own lips, staring at Lena in awe.
Lena steps closer to her best friend. "Do you wanna kiss me, Kara?" She smiles.
Kara beams at her. "Yeah," she breathes out.
Lena smiles as she cups Kara's cheeks softly. She leans in, brushing her lips against Kara's before capturing them with gentleness. Her heart is beating so fast that she's pretty sure Kara could have heard it even without super-hearing, and she's also mildly afraid that it might burst out of her chest. But she's definitely not going to pull away now that she's finally getting what she spent years dreaming of. She feels Kara placing her hand on her hips before wrapping her arms around her waist, pressing their bodies together in the most perfect way as their lips slide against each other.
In sync, they open their mouth at the same time, deepening the kiss when their tongue meet for the first time.
Breathless, Kara pulls away first. "Rao, that's exactly like in my dreams. Except that it's even better 'cause it's real and… Wow!"
Lena lets out a laugh. "What?"
The most adorable blush color Kara's cheeks and the tip of her ears. "I've already dreamed of you and me, doing... that."
Lena smirks and raises an eyebrow. "How many times?"
Kara's blush deepens. "Once or twice... every week."
"It's even better than I thought." Lena beams.
"What?" Kara chuckles.
"I love you, Kara." Lena says, not wanting to keep these feelings for herself any longer.
Kara's eyes glisten with unshed tears. "I love you too." She breathes out.
Lena's face lights up with a beaming smile as one tear escape from her eye at these words.
Kara slides her hand up to Lena's cheek and sweeps the tear away with the most profound tenderheartedness. She rests her hand on Lena's cheek and leans in for another mind-blowing kiss.
Lena smiles into the kiss as Kara's soft lips and tongue caress hers. When they slowly pull away, she opens her eyes that she can feel are brimming with tears.
"Am I still your best friend?" Kara chuckles.
Lena nods her head up and down. "And something more."
They share a smile as they both lean in at the same time to connect their lips in another kiss that feels even better than the others.
They rest their forehead together, their eyes are closed until they feel the need to lock their gaze in the most intense eye-contact they have shared since they met.
Lena is absolutely certain that she's never been happier, and from the loving way Kara is looking at her at this very moment, she is sure of one thing...
This is only the beginning.
Thanks for reading! :)