A/N: This is my first attempt at writing for Quinntana, so off the bat, I am sorry if anyone seems OOC. Secondly and more importantly, this fic will contain HOMPHOBIA from Russell. There is also a TRIGGER WARNING for small amounts of emotional abuse.
Chapter One
Power and control, I'm gonna make you fall, Marina and the Diamonds, Power and Control
Quinn Fabray couldn't remember a time in her life when perfection hadn't consumed every single fibre of her being. For a Fabray, it was almost a compulsory personality trait to be totally and utterly obsessed with power and control, be that over oneself, a situation or the people around them. No matter what, a Fabray must find themself on top.
A desire for these things had been thrust upon her and her sister, Frannie, around the same time that their mother had taught each of them how to walk and talk. Yes, for the Fabray family, being the best of the best was and always would be that important.
Quinn and Frannie were always told that being perfect and maintaining power was the key to a truly happy, successful life. It seemed to have worked for their parents, they had been the 'it' couple of their high school, the head cheerleader and the quarterback of the football team, they had stayed together all through college and had been together for the best part of thirty years now and had spent twenty of those years married and had brought two beautiful daughters into this world.
Yes, Russell and Judy truly were the perfect love story.
Quinn had never been given any reason to question their parents theory on power and perfection being the only way to achieve happiness. So instead of questioning, she had clung to this theory with a vice like grip, holding it close to her and allowing the words to manifest in her brain as everything she could ever want.
To everyone on the outside world looking in, the Fabrays truly were the picture-perfect, clean-cut, all-American family. A perfect family. Just like the one Quinn would have one day.
Control. Power. Perfection. Happiness.
The four things that any Fabray wanted most in life.
However, Quinn had quickly learned as a child that you couldn't have four people, all of which were vying for control, living under one roof as equals. She soon discovered that there would always be the weakest link, that one of them would always break under the pressures put upon them from the others.
In Quinn's family, this person was usually her. Sometimes she found it easier to go along with her elder sister, or what her mother and father wanted for her rather than what she really wanted. It had saved her from countless arguments over the years.
Of course, having said that, she had also learned that on the other end of the spectrum, there was always one person that would win control, and would have power over everyone and everything.
One puppet master, pulling all the strings.
One person who would always win.
In the Fabray household, that one person had always been her father, Russell. He was the biggest control freak and perfectionist Quinn had ever met. He was harsh, strict, cold, and was often irrationally angry, all of the things that didn't make for the most lovable and approachable of parents. But the fact remained that he was a parent, he had fathered two children, and had raised them alongside his wife.
His two daughters. The apples of his eye and his proudest achievement.
The Fabray girls were as alike as two new pins; they were both strikingly beautiful, with the same hazel eyes, blonde hair, and porcelain skin that made them look like mini versions of their mother, Judy. The only difference with their looks was the softness of Quinn's features, compared with the harshness of Frannie's sharp, angular features.
Both girls were the very definition of the word perfect in their parents' eyes. They could not have wished for more, they were smart, talented, kind, and to top it all of they were beautiful.
Judy had always tried to teach her daughters the importance of perfection and maintaining their beauty from a young age. She had tried to drill it into them since early childhood that perfection was just as much a part of them as anything else was. That being perfect was a part of being a Fabray. As was their faith.
Setting strong Christian morals and values had been a huge part of Russells plan to make sure his daughters had the perfect life. He was a devout Christian man, who believed in going to church every Sunday, (unless one had good reason), he believed in praying before meals was a big advocate for pro-life and celebacy. He had taught his daughters the importance of saving themselves for marriage.
So much so, that he had persuaded his daughters to join the celibacy club at high school and had always encouraged them to look for a good, well to do, Christian man who shared their values and beliefs. He had often suggested they date boys who went to the same church they did, to ensure that they were with someone with the same morals as them.
All her life Quinn had tried so hard to listen to her father and take heed of his lessons, trying desperately to be the perfect, dutiful daughter, always trying her hardest to maintain some semblance of control, just like her parents had wanted her and Frannie to do. Just like all Fabrays could.
But unlike her family, Quinn had always found it hard to keep control of herself. No matter how hard she tried her impulsive nature would usually get the best of her in some way or another. All she wanted in life was to make her parents proud, just like her sister seemed to be doing.
Frannie was turning out to be something of a success story for her mother and father; she had graduated high school with honours, at the top of her class with a 4.0 GPA, was studying law at Harvard and had a suitable, Christian boyfriend on her arm (who came complete with a purity ring on his finger). Yes, Frannie was every bit as perfect as their parents had wanted them to be.
Quinn had heard them countless times praising her sister. She was well on her way to becoming the perfect wife and mother, just like Judy had trained them to be. Quinn knew that it was only a matter of time before those things happened for her. She had been with Cal since her freshman year of college, their parents were already in the talks of making an announcement in the local papers and organising the most amazing photoshoot for when the inevitable proposal came, Quinn knew that could be any day now.
She could see everyday just how proud their parents were of Frannie.
Quinn wanted to make her parents proud, she wanted to show them that, like Frannie, she could be perfect. She knew that she could be the good Christian girl they had raised her to be, she could get good grades, go to college majoring in something that she would probably never use ever again. She would marry well and be a good devoted wife and mother, just like her own mother was.
That she too, could be perfect.
A perfect Fabray, in control of her life and her home, in control of everything around her.
But Quinn had already lost count of all the times she had lost control growing up. No matter how hard she had tried in her life not to, she would always wind up doing something that her mother and father would hate, for no reason other than she wanted to. That was how Quinn took control of situations; doing whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted with whoever she wanted. It had gotten her into her a lot of trouble in her life.
As alike as they were in looks, Frannie and Quinn could not have been more different in their personalities. Frannie was calm, collected and always managed to control herself so effortlessly, even when they were children. Will power and self control had always been a strong point for Frannie, she truly was the perfect Fabray.
Quinn was sure that her elder sister had never lost control, not even once in her life. As a child she had never lost her temper, she had always been able to keep her cool, she had never even so much as scuffed one of her shoes in the playground.
Frannie was always neat, tidy, calm. Perfect.
As far as Quinn knew, Frannie was still yet to lose control even in adulthood, she was confident, that despite her three year long relationship with Cal, she was still holding on strong to the cardinal rule her mother and father had drilled into their heads all their lives.
The one thing that their parents had told them was the true test of control.
No sex before marriage.
Frannie had taken this lesson and had clung to it her whole life, she wanted to save herself, wanted to be with one man and one man only. She did all she could to keep control of herself and her urges.
Quinn however, couldn't say the same for herself.
She had fully intended to wait until marriage, had wanted to, she had always listened to her parents' teachings, to what she heard in church and at Sunday school, what she had read in the bible as a young kid. She, like Frannie, had wanted to be with one man and one man only.
But as she got older, she found it harder and harder to do this. She had started to think that, celibacy, while it seemed to be the right choice for Frannie, was definitely not for everyone.
It was definitely not for her.
Despite being the perfect daughter of Judy and Russell Fabray, she had lost control.
In her sophomore year, she had given herself to her then-boyfriend, Connor. They'd been dating for a while and Quinn had felt urges; it hadn't taken her long to listen to them and, as her parents would have seen it, lose control.
For Quinn, the worst part about her loss of control was that she had enjoyed it.
She had enjoyed it so much, had wanted more, had wondered how something that felt so good, could be so wrong. She had loved every second of it. Ironically, in her moment of promiscuity and 'weakness' she had never felt more in control in her life.
She hadn't regretted sleeping with Connor, not one bit.
After they'd had sex, their relationship hadn't lasted too long. They'd broken up within a few months, but still, Quinn had not regretted her first time. She hadn't regretted any time that they'd had sex.
She'd enjoyed it, every single time she had loved it and was glad that she'd done it. In fact, once she'd had sex, she didn't really see the point in waiting for marriage or why people wanted her to, or even why it was such a sin to have sex before marriage.
She knew that if her parents, or even Frannie, were to find out about her and Connor they would see things so much differently to her.
Immoral.
Sinful.
Were just some of the things that Quinn was sure her mother and father would call her.
She definitely wouldn't be perfect.
But Frannie would always be their perfect little girl.
She knew that's how everyone saw her. Perfect. No matter how hard she tried to compete with her sister, she never seemed to be able to reach the heights that Frannie had.
Her parents would compare them in anyway that they could, Quinn had soon learned that she was usually second best.
She often found herself wondering if other siblings felt like this, did every sibling in the world feel the need to compete with their brothers or sisters? Or was this simply all down to how she had been raised? To be perfect.
She never felt good enough when it came to her and Frannie, she always felt inferior somehow. Of course, her mother and father's words never helped her.
Don't do that Quinn.
Take more pride in your appearance Quinn.
Why can't you be more like Frannie, Quinn?
Those were her mother's three favourite things to say to her. Of course, her mother always focused on the more shallow and materialistic aspects of life. She was forever smoothing out Quinn's clothing when she was younger, even now sometimes when they had family photos. She would always try and tame Quinn's hair that, as a child, always seemed to grow out rather than down.
By the time she was twelve, she had become obsessed with her looks, as a result of only hearing comments about her features, her appearance, but never her personality.
So pretty.
Pretty little thing.
Gorgeous.
Beautiful, Quinn Fabray.
She'd heard them all her life from various different people. Her parent's friends at the country club, older women fawning over the way they looked, putting them on pedestals, almost idolising their beauty, Quinn would be lying if she said she hadn't liked it at first. At one time or another it had built her up and made her feel confident about her image, but as she got older, she longed for a compliment that ran deeper than just her looks.
Her father's friends were worse.
They, like their mother's friends, seemed to be fixated on how the Fabray girls looked, the only difference was, when their father's friends said these things, they seemed to hit Quinn in a different way, sending shivers up and down her spine. They had always seemed like so much more of a threat to Quinn.
The words tumbling from scotch-drenched lips, the words seemed to mean something different coming from men old enough to be her father, and some even older still, but she was always taught to smile politely maybe even giggle as business men and men of power who her father longed to work with said these words.
Her father had her, her sister and her mother to win the hearts and votes of people around him. The comments had always made her feel sick to the pit of her stomach. It happened everywhere they went.
Somewhere, during Quinn's life, it had entered her mind that maybe, all a woman needed to be was pretty. That's when the obsession began to take over Quinn, she had been a mere twelve-years-old when vanity had consumed her.
She would never have called herself shallow, she had never cared how people looked and she would never judge someone else for how they looked, she had been judged for her looks way too much in her life.
Which, only played on her obsession with her own looks, she always felt the need to make sure that she was primped to perfection. Just as she had been raised to.
You must always look your best.
Be on your best behaviour.
Well behaved, beautiful, perfect Quinn Fabray.
If you are not these things, how will you ever find a husband, Quinn?
A husband.
The one thing any Fabray woman needed. A wealthy, attractive, impressive and powerful husband, whom she would devote her entire life to, protecting and loving him no matter what, always receiving the same back, plus a life of lavishness and being a kept woman.
Never having to work for anything at all.
Simply having a husband.
A husband.
Sometimes, when she was younger, Quinn would catch herself thinking that maybe, just maybe she wanted more from life than just that. She wanted marriage and kids, of course she did, but she wanted more than that. She wanted an education, a career, she wanted to work for her own money and make a name for herself the same way her father had.
Russell had worked hard his whole life, graduating high school and college at the top of his class, straight A student, and now had a successful career in politics, a loving devoted partner and two children, Quinn wanted that for herself.
She didn't want to sit in the wings cheering her husband on, living for nothing else.
She didn't have an issue with women who had this life, staying at home with the kids, being the perfect Stepford wife, no she respected women who did it - if they wanted it. If a man or a woman truly wanted to stay at home while their spouse worked, Quinn was happy to support people with that life.
But it wasn't what she wanted. It was what people expected of her.
It was what her grandmother, her father's mother had done, it was what her mother was doing now, and she knew for a fact that she second Frannie got married, any education she'd gotten for herself, any career she could have possibly built for herself, would be pushed to one side, to make room for children and the life of a stay-at-home mom.
Quinn could never see herself having that life.
Waiting at home for her husband to finish work, preparing his meals and washing his clothing? Quinn wanted none of that. In her life she wanted a partner, someone who could be a teammate and who she could take on the world with, not an overgrown child who couldn't do anything for themself.
She wanted so badly to stray from the path her mother and father were laying for her, she wished there would be a fork in the road that she could run down and never look back. She longed to break free from the strict confines of the world her parents had built for her.
But she couldn't. She had to maintain control, she had to keep the image of the perfect daughter, especially now, especially with the move to Ohio and her father's plans of running for office.
Russell felt that he needed to be in a more conservative state; California's views on abortion and same sex marriage didn't quite measure up to his or the ones he had imposed on his family over the years.
Her father had strong views on a lot of things, but homosexuality was the thing that Russell Fabray tolorated least of all. Throughout the years Quinn had listened to many lectures about 'those' people.
The ones who lusted after the same gender as themselves.
She'd heard her father's harsh words about them countless times in her life.
Disgusting. Sinners. Deviants.
Were three of the things he liked to call them most of all. These words had been drilled into Quinn's head countless times, as well as various bible scriptures.
If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon them. (Leviticus 20:13)
She had seen it on so many signs, heard it spill from the lips of angry people whom she always felt had nothing better to do than protest against the most natural thing in the world. Love.
She hated it all the more when her father had dragged her to anti-same sex marriage rallies over the years, proudly talking about how he felt same sex marriage was an abomonation.
She didn't know how anyone could be so proud about being so openly bigotted.
But he was. He was so proud to talk about these things around his friends, to use words like this in the safety of their own home, where he knew no one dare speak out against him. Not his friends. Not his wife, nor his daughters, no matter how much they might disagree.
Every time her father would say cruel things about people who had abortions, or gay people, she would have to take a deep breath, clench her fists so tight and purse her lips to keep herself from saying something, no matter how much she wanted to, she knew she had to keep those thoughts to herself.
Control yourself Quinn.
She would warn herself every time the words left her father's mouth, every time she wanted to stand up for people who were different to them, for minorities, which was something that Russell had never done in his entire political career.
He was very much for the one percent, and had tried to raise his daughter's to be the same. It had worked, for Frannie, she shared all the same beliefs their mother and father had, but some things just didn't seem right to Quinn.
She didn't have the same strong conservative beliefs as her family, but of course, at just seventeen, she couldn't really do much about her political views. So instead of saying or doing anything, she played the part of the dutiful, daughter perfectly, just as her parents had wanted.
She was always in control of herself, and her true feelings to her father's campaign, even when it meant sitting in a room full of bigotted, boring, white men, who seemed to thank themselves as masters of the universe.
Her time would come, when she could speak out against her father, his campaign and his views, but until then, it was all about controlling herself and their family image.
And so there Quinn was, sitting in the back passenger seat of Russell's classic red BMW, in control of her nerves of starting a new school and the anger she had for her father for making her move.
Her nails, make-up, and hair were all done to perfection, ready to once again play the role of the dutiful and devoted daughter. Her mother had always told her in order to play the part, one must look the part.
Therefore, if Quinn wanted to be the best at her new school, and she definitely did want to be, even if just for the purpose of going to an amazing college and to have an amazing career, then she needed to look the best.
Perfection and having control were second nature to a Fabray. It was all Quinn had known her whole life, even if sometimes she had to hide her true feelings on certain subjects, to be seen as perfect by her family.
Thank you to anyone who read this first chapter, again, this story does come with TW's as things will get more detailed as the story progresses.
Big thank you to my girlfriend for checking over this chapter for me and being my beta reader and editor, she has written a few stories now for DANTANA, so if you like that ship you should really go check them out. Her user name is Shananigans402.