Hey guys! Ahhh, this is so scary: my first fan fiction! Critiques and reviews would be much appreciated, as I'm just getting used to the feel of writing on this site :p Hope you guys enjoy! I tried to get the characters as accurate as I could.

BTW: this will be a multi-chapter story, this is just chapter one, though.

Okay, without further ado: here's my first fanfic!

Beastboy was tossing and turning in his bed, unable to find sleep amidst his nightmares. For the past few days, whenever he closed his eyes and tried to rest, his mind was plagued with the most disturbing and fear-provoking images he had ever seen. The Titans falling victim to Slade, Raven not returning after becoming the portal, but most of all, every night when he closed his eyes, he was met with the heartbreaking sight of Terra.

He couldn't help but feel as though he held an incredible amount of responsibility in her fate, and his insecurities were always there to remind him of this when he tried to close his eyes. Usually, when this happened, he would just try to ignore it and go back to sleep, but not this time. Beastboy knew that the more he tried to delay the thought of her, the harder it would come back when he was in a vulnerable position. The changeling had long since recovered from the wounds she left on him, and he had come to terms with his feelings and had begun getting over her, but the psychological distress left on him couldn't be solved by accepting it with open arms. No matter where he went, he feared he would always be followed by the guilt of what happened to her.

It had been 6 months since she had died. For 6 excruciating months, Beastboy had been met with immeasurable guilt, immeasurable pain when he thought of her. The Titans had tried their best to help him, but how can he depend on them when he felt as though he couldn't even depend on himself? The way he saw it, Terra was a symbol that nobody could rely on him, and the more he believed in that thought, the bigger the emptiness inside of him became. In his eyes, he had failed Terra, and there was nothing to stop him from failing anyone else who got as close to him as she did. Sighing, he ran a hand through his tousled hair and stepped out of his bed.

His door slid open. The changeling was wearing a loose white t-shirt and grey sweatpants as his pajamas, and as he walked into the common room, he suddenly wished that he had attempted to look a little more presentable.

Raven was sitting on the counter in front of the stove, waiting for her tea kettle to boil. Her head was faced forward, staring at the wall, seemingly unfazed by Beastboy's presence. She looked exhausted; the kind of exhausted that no amount of sleep could fix. The sorceress turned her head to look at Beastboy, and their eyes locked on each other. The changeling heard his breath hitch in his throat. Raven was wearing a black tank top and dark grey sweatpants, with her light purple hair pulled back into a low ponytail. Eye bags graced her face, and her big, violet eyes stared into his emerald ones, studying him. The two stayed in a tense silence until she finally spoke.

"What are you doing up so early?" She asked him casually, her eyes returning to their front-facing position. Beastboy glanced over at the clock: 2 in the morning, it read.

"I could ask you the same thing." He said, a light smirk spreading across his face. The corners of Raven's mouth seemed to turn up ever so lightly, and she turned back to look at him.

"I asked you first." She retorted, getting the hissing kettle off of the stove and pouring herself a cup. Raven cradled the tea in her hands as she sat back up on the counter, facing Beastboy this time.

"Bad dream." He said simply, eyes downcast to the floor. It was obvious something was wrong, and with Raven being an empath, she quickly picked up on it. She opened her mouth to say something, to inquire as to what the dream was about, but decided she didn't want to press him. Their relationship was complicated and fragile and, although the two had come to each other about serious matters such as these before, Raven didn't want to overstep any boundaries with him.

"Same here." She replied, sighing a little. Beastboy's eyes lifted from the floor and traced her face. God, she's beautiful, he thought, exhaling. He didn't know where to take the conversation from here, which was uncharacteristic of him. Usually, he would crack a joke to break the silence, or impishly pester her to open up to him, but he knew that this was a different situation entirely. It was obvious that both of them were fighting demons of their own, and such a matter wasn't one that could be joked about.

"What about?" He risked, his eyes never leaving her. Beastboy immediately regretted asking when he saw her face change: it was as if he could see her putting her mental walls up. To his surprise though, Raven just sighed and looked at the ground, her lips pursed. Obviously, something had been draining her emotionally and physically, but the fact that she didn't even have the energy to resist his attempt at opening her up alerted Beastboy that something was seriously wrong. He walked closer to her and sat down on one of the stools next to the counter, watching Raven's face the whole time. She turned her head and looked at him, completely blank, and then looked away.

"It's a little hard to explain," she said finally. Beastboy tilted his head so he could get a better look at her. "It's a number of things if I'm being completely honest. We've all been through a lot these past few months."

Beastboy smiled on the inside. That was so like her, to give him a vague answer and then make up for it by maximizing everyone else's issues. He bit his lip and gave a slight nod. Raven's face looked empty as she gave him a side glance. Beastboy picked up on it and knew it was his turn to share.

"That's kind of the same situation I'm in. You're right: these have been a pretty trying few months." He said, propping his head up on his hand. Raven shifted to see him more clearly. She had never see him be so serious, so obviously broken. She appreciated how open he was being, especially with her.

"At least we're all in it together." Raven remarked, almost to herself. It sounded almost bitter, as if she didn't really believe it. She sipped her tea and looked at Beastboy. He met her eyes and gently reached out to touch her hand. She gave him a small smile, almost forcing it. The changeling stared at their hands and finally spoke.

"I know you don't like sharing stuff about yourself, especially not stuff like this. But I am pretty good at reading people; I have animal senses, after all. I can tell something's up and if you don't want to talk about it then that's ok, but we're all here for you." Beastboy paused and then sighed, releasing her hands and leaning back in the stool. "We've all got demons, Raven. But they're a lot easier to fight when you tell people that they exist."

Raven hesitated, a little surprised at his speech. She chewed on her lower lip and stared at the counter, gently tracing its edges with her fingers. Her tea had long gone cold and was placed next to her. She was now sitting lotus position on the counter and, after a minute or so, was able to face Beastboy.

"It's a little harder for me to talk about mine. I don't want any of you to feel as though you have to worry about me, because the fact is that I'm not the only one with problems. I can handle my issues by myself; it's just how I prefer to do things. But if you're really that concerned then I suppose I can tell you a few details." She said, exhaling a little. Her eyes had returned to the counter, unable to make eye contact with the green boy next to her. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see his emerald eyes staring at her, waiting for her to continue. God, she hated talking about this. Beastboy seemed to have already known what she was talking about, and reached out to graze her hand again.

"Trigon?" He breathed quietly, terrified that he had overstepped. Raven stiffened a little. She wanted to pull her hand back and turn away from him; she could feel herself getting upset. But she just took a deep breath and gave a slight nod. Beastboy gave her a sympathetic smile.

"I appreciate you opening up to me, Raven, I really do." He thanked her, deciding to give her a few seconds before pushing for more details. She gave him one of her small smiles, and he felt his heart skip a beat. He wanted to tell her about his nightmares of Terra, about how scared he was that Raven wasn't going to come back when she became the portal. There was so many things he wanted to say, but something about how Raven was looking at him made him feel as if she already knew. She smiled a little when he met her eyes, and then turned to look at the clock. The two had been there for an hour, and they had hardly gotten to the root of their issues. Somehow, the two had said so much in the last hour, but so little at the same time. Raven turned back to say something, but Beastboy interrupted her.

"I'm glad you're here, Raven." He said, his eyes staring into her violet ones. He heard her heartbeat quicken and saw a blush rise up to her face. She turned away from him until it disappeared and then stared right back at him.

"So am I, Beastboy." She said, smiling softly. "So am I."