It felt like a joke. A rather cruel one. Lynn had thought Marlene had at least liked her when they started going out. It lasted four months. Four months of under-the-table hand-holding, kissing is locked rooms, secret smiles, and late night conversations. Four months of it all being an experiment. A fucking dumb teenage experience for Marlene. Lynn could clearly remember the day it ended, how Marlene sat her down, telling Lynn that she wanted to talk to her about something important. Nothing was suspicious or off. In fact, Marlene was… especially bubbly. Lynn had thought that maybe, just maybe, she wanted to go public with Lynn. The thought used to (still) make Lynn feel an unusual surge of happiness.
- The day it ended -
Marlene grabbed Lynn's hand, leading her through the hallways of Dauntless, a large smile on her face.
"Hurry up, I wanna tell you something," Marlene whined as she pulled Lynn's arm.
"I'm hurrying," Lynn grumbled, a smile creeping up her face.
"Ok, in here," Marlene said, pulling Lynn into a room, locking the door behind them. Lynn was used to this, but usually it was planned and not so… impromptu. Usually when they just wanted to talk or kiss they came here.
"Sit," Marlene commanded, pointing to the bed.
"Oh, so now I'm the one taking commands?" Lynn teased.
"Yes, yes, you are," Marlene said, sitting down and grabbing Lynn's arm to pull the girl down with her.
"Woah!" Lynn yelped as she was pulling down.
"Ok, I have some news," Marlene said, grabbing Lynn's other hand tightly.
"Yeah?"
"I," Marlene paused, thinking, before she squeezed her eyes shut and sighed happily. Lynn tensed up slightly, trying to anticipate what Marlene was going to say. A small thought entered her head, a happy one. They could go public. They could tell everyone that they were a thing.
"Uriah asked me out!" Marlene squealed happily, squeezing Lynn's hand tightly. Lynn's smile fell from her face and she forced her expression to go neutral.
"Oh," Lynn choked out, "cool,"
"I know!" Marlene said, slightly oblivious to exactly what Lynn was feeling.
"Ok," Lynn said, ripping her hands from Marlene's grip and placing them on her own lap.
"Are you ok?" Marlene asked, finally realizing the Lynn was most definitely not.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm cool,"
"Thanks for giving me this experience. I mean, we all try things out when we're young. Like, you know, just an experiment," Marlene said with a shrug. Lynn's neutral facade gave away and pain stained her features. This was 'just an experiment' for Marlene. Nothing more. Nothing less. Marlene didn't like her. Marlene didn't love her. Big. Fucking. Deal.
"Glad you had fun. No string, right?" Lynn said, letting out a somewhat bitter laugh as she stood up and turned to the door.
"Lynn, are you going to be ok?" Something in Lynn cracked with that line. She turned around, facing Marlene with the coldest look she'd ever given.
"No, Marlene, I'm not. But that doesn't fucking matter, right? I'm just a damn experiment!" Lynn said, her voice slowly raising to a yell.
"I thought-"
"You don't lead people on,"
"Lynn, I-"
"You don't fucking tell someone they were what you've always wanted and then call them an experiment," Lynn said, her voice cracking as she yelled.
"I'm not gay, Lynn! I'm straight! I can't control my sexuality!" Marlene cried.
"You seemed pretty gay when you had your hand up my shirt. You seemed pretty gay when you asked me to go out with you," Lynn screamed. Marlene went silent, her face falling.
"But, I get it, you're straight, right? Have fun," Lynn said, unlocking the door and storming out.
- Present Day-
Lynn cursed out loud, curling her hand into a fist as she sat on the edge of her bed. She hadn't talked to Marlene in.. a while. In fact, the only person she'd really had a conversation with since it had happened was Shauna. She hadn't told anyone about Marlene, so that left all her friends guessing why she was pissed off so much more than normal. It made them wonder why she went to the training room, throwing knives and shooting targets for hours on end.
Part of her wished she didn't care. Part of her wish it didn't hurt like hell. But it did and she would just wait until her feelings numbed over.
If Marlene thought of her as 'just an experiment' there was probably someone better for her, right? Anyways, there were plenty of other girls in Dauntless. There were plenty of girls who eyed Lynn and smiled at her. Fuck Marlene. For all Lynn cared, she could become factionless, right? Fuck experiments. Fuck everything that's dragged her down for the last month. She didn't give two shits about anyone or thing, right? Right?
Wrong. Maybe she could slowly start reincorporating herself into her friend group again. Maybe she could start smiling at her friends again. Maybe she could smile at Marlene (even when she saw her holding Uriah's hand). Maybe she should start making sarcastic comments again whenever someone did something stupid. Maybe she should apologize to Marlene. For blowing up. Even though it wasn't completely her fault. Even if it just about killed her heart to accept that she would always be just a friend. But it was the right thing to do. Right?
So, that's what Lynn did. Her friends noticed her sudden change in mood and laughed at her snarky remarks. No one asked her if she was ok, they all just accepted that she was better now. She teased Uriah and Marlene, calling them out for the PDA, all while secretly wishing she could take Uriah's place. Then, finally, when Marlene finally left the table, Lynn got up, pulled her to the side and apologized. Like that, all was forgiven and Marlene was all smiles around her again. Perhaps that apology made Lynn feel worse. Marlene didn't say sorry. But it didn't matter, right?
A/N: Ok. Um, I don't know I kind of just started writing. From what I've seen, there isn't too much LynnxMarlene content and because I suck at writing romance this was more ?sad? Feedback would be appreciated. Also, comment or dm me questions and the next time I write a one-shot I'll answer them (and you'll get a shoutout).
-T
P.S.: Once again, I didn't proof-read, sorry for any mistakes :(