Yo, readers! This is my first fanfic. And a particularly difficult one to start, since I really didn't know how to begin this. I have a ton of ideas in my brain for what may happen once the story proceeds, though. I hope you enjoy reading this.

If you like it, please follow/favorite it and leave a review. Those would really help to motivate me to write. Constructive criticism is really, really appreciated, since I've just started writing.

Oh right, here's the disclaimer. I do not own Gintama or Naruto. Gintama is owned by Hideaki Sorachi, Bandai Namco Pictures, etc. Naruto is owned by Masashi Kishimoto, Studio Pierrot, etc.

-Gintama Universe-

Gintoki was having a odd day so far. He had a very good breakfast- some leftover Uji-Gintoki don and a fuckton of strawberry milk. He was looking forward to his weekly Shonen Jump. But somehow, no one had come by to nag him, empty out his fridge, ask him to join the Jouishishi-wait, didn't that last one happen like decades ago?

Gintoki had grown old. At least by his standards. He was around fifty now. Or was it sixty? Come to think of it, didn't the doctor tell him that he had Alzstein's or something two days ago?

Well, whatever his age was now, Gintoki never thought he would have lived this long in this insane universe. It was a wonder that he even lasted this long, after getting his chinko removed and crushed, getting concussed due to a giant dog biting him in the head, losing his soul from eating Otae's cursed Tamagoyaki, and the rest of the cursed shit that kept happening with him.

Plus, there was his diabetes that he had to worry about.

Gintoki wasn't really scared of dying though. He thought that he would probably go to Soul Society and become a badass shinigami like Ichigo. He didn't think what could happen otherwise, because it was too troublesome to think about. But, he would prefer it to not be painful.

Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, Gintoki descended from the second floor of Snack Otose, the building that had been his home for decades now. He mounted his scooter, which now had rocket boosters, a cup holder, autopilot and a GPS (Gorilla Positioning System), and set off to the bookstore to buy his Jump.

Gintoki was feeling something very heavy in the atmosphere today. He was having the feeling that Author-san did not know how to kill him off. Maybe Author-san had not yet decided where to send him after he died.

Suddenly, something very strange happened. Strange even for this insane universe. A Super Electric Matsui Stick RX was coming flying towards him. Gintoki saw it coming. He really wanted to dodge. But he panicked and accidentally activated the rocket boosters, which caused his scooter to scoot towards the WMD at the speed of sound. The stick (or rather arm), in question, broke through the front of the scooter and struck his crotch.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" he screamed, grasping his bloody crotch, "Curse you, author, you chose the most painful way to send me off! Time machine, somebody bring out the time machine!"

Unfortunately, there was no time machine or Universal Clock which could turn back time and save Gintoki. The only guy who heard Gintoki grabbed his own crotch and ran off. Soon, Gintoki bled out to death.

A few blocks away, a mysterious figure was crouching in a shady alleyway, because villains tended to use alleyways for nefarious purposes, and he thought that killing the protagonist placed him pretty high up in the villain rankings. "Mission accomplished!" he cried out and dissipated into thin air.

Meanwhile, at the other end of Edo, another old man stopped dumping mayonnaise into his coffee for a moment and wondered, "What happened to that old Matsui stick of mine?"

But then he quickly snapped himself out of his thoughts, and went back to doing more important stuff, which was to drink more of the abomination he had made.

-The Day the Kyuubi attacked Konohagakure, Naruto Universe-

It was the 10th of October. In the outskirts of Konohagakure, a red-haired woman had given birth to her son, and after that, some douchebag wearing a weird one-eyed mask came and ripped out a giant nine-tailed fox that had been sealed in her, which led to lot of shit taking place.

Meanwhile, in the Konoha Hospital, a silver-haired woman had given birth to an equally silver-haired, permed brat in the morning, and died in the process. Said woman's husband, who was a chunin had also perished due to the fox's attack as well. The brat in question had been sleeping when he was born, and had almost scared the doctors into thinking that he was stillborn.

After Gintoki had eventually woken up and realized that he had become an infant, the first thing he had done, was to somehow check his crotch with his little infant hands. He sighed in relief, when he saw that his chinko was still in one piece. One piece, as in intact, not the manga, you bastards.

Next, he had tried to deduce which Universe he had been transferred to. "Surely, it's a Jump Universe..?" he wondered. He tried to think about it more, but was drowsy and fell asleep.

The next thing he knew, the hospital he was in had almost turned into rubble. Everything above the maternity ward had been (even more conveniently) destroyed. Gintoki saw a huge-ass beast some distance away from the hospital, and started counting its tails.

"Ichi, ni, san, shi, go, roku, shichi, hachi, kyuu..." he counted, "and it's a huge fox. So they dropped me into that Universe. I think it's called Beruto or something."

Hey, cut him some slack, it had been a long, long time that he had read that manga. Plus, the MC's son ruined everything.

"I wonder if I should change anything that happened, or maybe I should keep it intact." he thought. Suddenly, a ball of condensed energy almost hit and blew him up.

"NAH, FUCK IT, I'LL DO WHATEVER I WANT TO!" he screamed in fear, but everyone just heard the cries of a baby.

Alright, in later chapters(if I continue this) I'll probably include author's notes or something like that. For now, here are some words or phrases you may or may not have heard before.

Uji-Gintoki don: One of Gintoki's favorite meals, a bowl of plain boiled rice with lots of sweet red-bean topping.

Super Electric Matsui Stick RX: A cleaning stick that somehow evolved into a cyborg arm due to a powerful alien AA-sized battery.

Chinko: Penis, Pole, Vlad the Impaler, Stick, Filthy bit of wood, Long Wang, Ding Dong, etc.

Beruto: A reference to another Gintama/Naruto crossover.