Quidditch Reserve League, Season 1, Round 3: Rarepairs

Position: Chaser 1

Prompt: Choose your own pairing for [The Trio era]. I chose: Pansy Parkinson X The Mermaid Portrait from the Prefect Bathroom.

Optional Prompts: 6. Naked, 7. Diaogue: "Pretend that didn't happen.", 10. Towels,

Word Count: 1,123

~End of Author's Notes~

Pansy's seething turned to ranting as she slammed the door to the Prefect's bathroom shut.

"I don't need him anyway!" she barked at the dimly-lit room, her voice bouncing from wall to wall. She tore off her robe, tossed it to the side, then hurried back to the door and blocked it shut with one of the towel holders. "Oh, yes, he wants me to stroke his hair when he wants it, but then all of a sudden it's brooding time! It's time to sit in that little bathroom with Myrtle, the snot-nosed runt, can't even be alive properly, and chat!"

As she vented, Pansy stripped out of her school robes and punctuated her speech by tossing a shoe at the nearest wall. It made a thunk that satisfied her all the way to the warm embrace of the bathtub, the bubbles that filled it from edge to edge with the wonderfully soft scent of pansies.

Then she thought of how she'd been rejected and screeched at the bathroom. Her hands slapped the water and sent a cascade of bubbles over her head, rendering her visage quite similar to that of a half-melted snowman. She had just managed to wipe the bubbles away from her eyes when she spotted the mermaid cast in stained glass, who was watching her and giggling behind her hand.

"Hey! Stop that!" Pansy ordered the mermaid, who simply turned her head away. "I can see your shoulders shaking! I said stop it, you...you fish!" When that didn't work either, she started paddling to the other end of the pool. Unfortunately, getting soap in her eyes and being too angry to co-ordinate herself meant that her thrashing mostly served to stir up bubbles than actually get her across. But she did, eventually, and lifted her head from the tub to find the mermaid innocently brushing her hair. "I'm talking to you!"

The mermaid paused, threw her hair over her shoulder, then pointed at herself.

"Yeah, you! You think you can just sit there and judge me? I'm Pansy! Pansy Parkinson!"

The mermaid tilted her head.

"You think you can look down on me? Just because you're sitting there with your perfect hair and your perfect makeup every day, don't even have to put it on, looking all pretty and not even having to do anything to do it?" Pansy yelled. "Some of us have to put in the work!"

The mermaid smiled coquettishly and waved the comment away.

"That wasn't a compliment!" Pansy hiked her leg up to the edge of the bath, then thought better of herself. She was dignified; she wasn't going to crawl like a crab to confront the patronizing piscine portrait. She grabbed a towel from the nearest rack and wrapped it around herself as she emerged via the nearby steps and strolled right up to the portrait. "You know why I'm here?" she challenged, narrowing her eyes at the mermaid.

The mermaid shrugged.

"You've been rude! I'd take house points, but...do mermaids go to..." Pansy frowned. Of course they didn't. She'd have seen them, and they probably weren't even Purebloods. "So apologize!"

The mermaid tilted her head at Pansy, then put her hands together and bowed her head.

"Do it n-" Pansy bit her lip. "People don't normally do that."

The mermaid shrugged beatifically and blew a kiss to Pansy.

Pansy stared for a second, feeling suddenly more inclined to not rage at the innocent portrait. She did, however, make sure that her towel was tightly knotted.

"Not that it's your fault..." Pansy muttered. "It's all Draco's fault. I gave him my undying loyalty for years, and what does he do? What does he do?"

The mermaid leaned in curiously.

"He abandons me! So he can lurk in bathrooms with Moaning Myrtle! Nobody likes Moaning Myrtle!"

The mermaid considered the statement, then nodded in agreement.

"She doesn't even keep his secrets! I'd never share Draco's secrets, but her? Oh, she came right up to me while I was in the bathroom! You'll never guess who's been talking to me," she said in a shrill imitation of Myrtle's voice. It didn't sound different. "Both of them can vomit slugs for all I care! I don't need him!"

The mermaid nodded vigorously, then held up her palm.

Pansy just barely avoided high-fiving the glass and slowed her hand to a more reasonable speed. Their palms touched and, for a second, Pansy thought she could feel some warmth coming from the glass. She peered into the mermaid's soft blue eyes and beheld her for the first time. Her simmering auburn hair, her perfectly-sculpted features, the scintillating scales of her tail…

"But...he's going out with her even though she's not fleshy..." Pansy said as she adjusted the top of her towel. "I guess that's fair..."

The mermaid nodded gently.

"So...fleshy and non-fleshy...it's okay to have a girlfriend who's one even if you're the other."

The mermaid put a thoughtful finger to her lips, then nodded.

"Yeah." Pansy nodded, determined. Draco wasn't the only one who could have a girlfriend from the past. She kept one hand touched to the mermaid's palm, let her towel fall, and leaned in to kiss the mermaid's lips. Her eyes were closed, she could feel the touch on the other side of the glass, her very first kiss! Her heart soared, she leaned back, and saw...that the mermaid had retreated a couple of feet to the side, her eyes wide.

"Mermaid!" Pansy whined. "What are you doing over there! Don't you like me?!"

The mermaid held up a warning finger, then pointed to the other side of the bathroom with her other hand.

Pansy span, snatching her towel in the same motion, but...there was nobody there.

"The door's closed!" Pansy said, ready to lash out in humiliation, but the mermaid kept pointing, the angle of her finger a little lower. Pansy followed its point to what was in front of the door. Namely, her school uniform.

"Oh." Pansy scowled and glanced back at the portrait of a mermaid. "I'm not an adult yet."

The mermaid nodded sympathetically.

The scowl didn't leave her face, but that justification made sense. It wasn't that she was ugly, or crazy for trying to kiss a stained glass mermaid, she was just too young!

"Okay." Pansy inhaled. "Okay. Pretend that didn't happen."

The mermaid gave her a thumbs-up.

"But I'm coming back here the second I'm eighteen, okay?!" Pansy snapped.

The mermaid made an okay sign.

"Alright...good..." Pansy did let her towel slip again, but this time so she could resume her bath. Nobody would be able to make fun of her for losing Draco now that she had a future stained glass mermaid girlfriend from the past.