A/N: welcome! it's three am for me as I post this, and I wrote this first chapter very quickly. It's short, to the say the least, unlike my other fics. I'll probably be keeping things short for this one, so I can slam out chapters. Very slice-of-life, you could say. I hope you enjoy!

She's been here hours, now. She's tired, her throat is sore from all the talking she's been doing, the portraits are watching her and whispering, and there's a new tooth in her mouth. An enchanted tooth, one that had taken the place of a molar she'd gotten pulled two years ago. Poppy had been scared shitless at first, and is probably still a little bit scared. However, the opportunity to learn magic while she's in this universe? Undeniably awesome. And now, the bones in her jaw and ear wouldn't be shifting out of place from her missing molar!

The two wizards in front of her - wizards! How cool! - have just finished discussing how they're going to proceed with their research in how to return her to this universe. Honestly, Poppy wouldn't mind if they never figured it out. What was waiting for her back there? Friends? Not recently. Family? None that she spoke to anymore. A job? Not one she found remotely interesting. Magic? Nope!

Plus, the fact that she doesn't know any magic at all, despite undeniably being a witch somehow, means that she can't even help them in their research. All for the better, she supposes. She's always been too good at research; had she been able to help, she'd be back in her boring, magic-less universe by dinner time.

"Miss Vincent," said the old Gandalf-like fellow, who had introduced himself as Albus Dumbledore before, "does this sound adequate?"

Poppy nodded eagerly with a grin, rubbing her wrists and glad she was no longer magically constrained to a chair. The truth serum they'd dosed her with, though, is still in effect. "Oh yeah, definitely! Learn magic along with a bunch of kids, try not to rip apart the universe, and keep my head down! Can do, Headmaster, sir!"

The other wizard, the one dressed in all black and looking quite like a vampire, scowled. Severus Snape, she'd come to understand in their short acquaintance, was a bit of a Debbie Downer.

"Try not to blow up the school while you're here," he drawled. "I'd rather not file the paperwork needed if I should have to kill you."

He sounded very serious, but she didn't mind. "I'm sure my ghost would help you out, Professor. Now, someone said something about me getting a wand?"

Dumbledore chuckled good naturedly, his eyes twinkling. She wondered if that was a him thing or a wizard thing. She wanted to twinkle her eyes. "I will accompany you to Diagon Alley tomorrow morning, Miss Vincent, as all the shops would be closed at this hour. For now, Severus shall show you to your quarters where you will be staying until the start of term; while you are here during this summer, he will act as your guardian, so do not be afraid to come to him with any questions."

Poppy found the disgusted face Severus made amusing, before the Headmaster's words sunk in. "Until the start of term, sir?"

"Why yes," he said, a conspiratorial smile on his face. "Come the first of September, you will be a First Year student, after all. You'll be joining your yearmates in whichever dorm you are sorted in."

Poppy gaped. "I… I have to stay with a bunch of eleven-year-olds? Oh dear."

"Perhaps you'll gain a few brain cells that way." Snape sneered.

"Or lose a couple thousand," she replied absently, and sighed. "Well, as long as I get to learn some magic! I can handle kids."

The savage smile Snape bore was almost more like baring his teeth.

Meet Poppy Vincent! 21 years old, muggle in almost every way, and delighted to have the ability to make sparks out of a wand.

Chapter 2 shall be her shopping trip with Dumbledore, and the inspiration for the fic title.

What do y'all wanna see? Maybe a Snape POV? Dumbledore POV? Harry POV? Sorting Hat POV? I'll write whatever, this is the funnest thing I've written in a bit. Lighthearted for now, but if I end up writing it for long, like, say, into CoS, things will have to take a more dark turn what with the happenings. Magic isn't all sunshine and rainbows, after all.