Lucifer was heading to bed when he heard muffled voices coming from inside the nursery. He leaned closer to the door, and heard Trixie talking to her sister.
You like birds," continued the witcher. "But that doesn't stop you biting the necks of people of both sexes, does it? You and Nivellen, indeed! A beautiful couple you'd make, a monster and a vampire, rulers of a forest castle. You'd dominate the whole area in a flash. You, eternally thirsty for blood, and he, your guardian, a murderer at your service, a blind tool. But first he had to become a true monster, not a human being in a monster's mask."
"What kind of stories are you telling, Urchin?" Lucifer asked as he walked into the room.
"Oh, hey dad!" Trixie said as she put down her book, "I was just reading Lily a chapter from 'The Last Wish'. It's part of The Witcher series".
"Oh bloody hell, not those books".
"What's wrong with the Witcher?" Trixie asked, confused.
"What's wrong is my brother visits one struggling author and gets turned into a bloody franchise! I visit plenty of people and the only book I get mentioned in is the Bible!".
"Wait..." Trixie started, "which brother? I didn't see anyone at Lily's birthday party that looked like Geralt of Rivia".
"Oh that's because he wasn't there!" Lucifer told her," You see, Ophaniel is the angel over the moon and it's cycles so he tends to not get out and mingle often".
"Can you invite him over? Pleeease Dad?".
At the sight of Trixie's patented puppy eyes, Lucifer relented. "Oh bugger, I guess it couldn't hurt having one more featherbrained sibling over. But not tonight, you and Starlight need to get to bed".
He leaned over the crib and kissed Lily on the cheek, turned out the lights, and proceeded to carry a giggling Trixie piggyback to her own room.
*
A week later Lucifer, Chloe, their children, along with Ella and Michael were gathered into the living room.
"Now are you sure that Ophaniel got someone else to take over Lunar cycle duties for awhile, Micha?".
"Yes," Michael said, " Duma and Puriel planned to split the work".
"Well then, time to give our greetings," Lucifer clapped his hands together in prayer and shouted "PHANNIE GET YOUR FANNY DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!".
Chloe facepalmed while Trixie muttered "smooth, Dad".
A new voice sounded from the balcony, "FOR THE LAST TIME LUCIFER, DON'T CALL ME PHANNIE!".
"Whatever you say, Phannie dear," Lucifer purred.
A beautiful, yet extremely annoyed angel stepped into the living room. Ella gasped at how much he looked like the guy who plays Geralt of Rivia on TV. The only differences were he was slightly paler, his hair went down to his waist, and he had electrifying purple eyes. His wings were pure silver and gave off a metallic sheen in certain lighting.
"Was there a particular reason you wanted me to visit, besides insulting me, brother?" Ophaniel asked.
Lucifer brought Trixie forward, who was staring at the new angel with her mouth open. "My little urchin here has been reading those Dad-awful books you inspired and asked to meet you".
Ophaniel knelt down before the awestruck girl. "It's a pleasure to meet my brother's offspring".
"Did you really give the authors of the Witcher their ideas?" Trixie asked.
"I did. I even helped with some of the quotes when I was able to visit".
"Really?!" She squeaked, " which ones?".
Ophaniel thought for a moment before he spoke."I manage because I have to. Because I've no other way out. Because I've overcome the vanity and pride of being different, I've understood that they are a pitiful defense against being different. Because I've understood that the sun shines differently when something changes. The sun shines differently, but it will continue to shine, and jumping at it with a hoe isn't going to do anything".
Ella swooned."Oh, he is just magical".
"Pfft, he's not that magical," Michael muttered under his breath.
Just then, Ophaniel noticed the winged baby in Chloe's arms. "Is this the little néphillim I've heard so much about?".
"Yes," Chloe said, "this is our youngest daughter, Lily Jane ".
Lily giggled at her newest uncle as her eyes flashed red.
"I see she has your eyes, brother ".
"Among other things," Lucifer grinned smugly.
*
Ophaniel was given Maze's old apartment on the third floor for the next few weeks. Everything was going fine with the visit except for one thing.
Lucifer was jealous.
It started with Trixie. She'd hung onto the silver angel's every word since he'd arrived, giving him what Lucifer could only describe as 'living heart eye emojis'.
Then his wife started doing it. Ophaniel would make Chloe give off the most undignified giggles...sounding even worse than a demented witch on crack.
The last straw was Lily. She was teething again, but before Lucifer could pick her up, his brother had beaten him to it.
"Now, brother, she'll only calm down for me in this state so perhaps you should..."
But Ophaniel started singing a strange angelic tune and Lily instantly calmed down. Lucifer nearly had a fit before he dived off the balcony.
Ten minutes later, he was bursting into Linda's home, yelling "STARLIGHT HAS BETRAYED ME!".
"Luci, I'm sure it's not that bad," Amenadiel told him.
"Oh yes it is, brother, because Phannie is trying to muscle in on my girls. He has got to go!".
Michael, who was there to see Charlie, put an arm around his twin's shoulders. "They're just fascinated because he looks like the guy from that book. Give our brother a chance, I'm sure it will all die down".
Lucifer sighed, "I'll try, Micha".
*
A week later, Michael was stomping into Lucifer's penthouse.
"Ophaniel has got to go!".
"What happened to giving our brother a chance?" Lucifer asked.
"That went out the door when he stole my Ella!".
"What?" Lucifer asked confounded.
"Ella invited Ophaniel to go to that sci-fi convention with her," Michael whined,"I wanted to go with her ".
Amenadiel and Raguel landed on the balcony with similar complaints.
"Linda canceled our lunch date to give Ophaniel a free therapy session...she doesn't even give me free therapy and we're married!".
"Yeah," Raguel said, "and Genevieve barely paid attention to me when that guy was visiting Chloe at the precinct".
"So it's clear then...we need to stage an intervention with our wannabe Casanova of a sibling and get him to leave".
The other brothers all agreed with Lucifer.
*
The next day, Ophaniel was sitting on the couch in his guest rooms when four of his brothers walked into the room.
"Alright, you Arnold Benedict..."
"Pretty sure it's the other way around, Luci," Amenadiel whispered.
"Whatever...point is you, Phannie, have overstayed your welcome. Leave now and stop stealing all our women!".
To their shock and slight guilt(that Lucifer will never admit to), Ophaniel burst into tears.
"I just knew this would happen!"
"Knew what would happen?" Amenadiel asked.
"It's these stupid Lunar powers," Ophaniel sniffed," something about them draw women to me like crazy".
"And you're complaining about that because..." Lucifer trailed off.
"I don't even like women!"
"Ooooh..." the other three brothers said at once.
"My job is lonely enough as it is, but it's near impossible to flirt with a guy if his sister is trying to hump me. Then you invite me here, and I think, finally, I might find someone...but all the females in your life want to cling...except for the baby, anyways".
"Wait a bloody minute, Phannie! I saw you calm Lily with that stupid song of yours".
"For five minutes," Ophaniel said," but the minute you left the room she screamed bloody murder, flew out of my arms, and then decided to pee on my head!".
Amenadiel, Michael, and Raguel gave their brother a look of solidarity over that one.
Lucifer sat down next to Ophaniel and put his arm around his shoulders. " I think your problem, Phannie, is you've kept dating strictly towards the human variety".
An idea struck him then. " How do you feel about demons?".
*
"That was a nice thing you did, setting up a house here in LA for Ophaniel and his new boyfriend," Chloe said as she and her husband cuddled on the couch.
"Well, he always was too flamboyant for hell," Lucifer mused," I mean seriously, what self-respecting demon calls themselves Dandelion?".
"Apparently he does," Chloe chuckled," so will you stop being jealous now?".
Lucifer looked at her sheepishly. "Noticed that, did you?".
"Yeah, I did, and you don't have to worry. There's only one angel for me, and that's the Devil".
He smiled before leaning down to kiss her. "I love you, Chloe".
"I love you, too, Lucifer".
Before they could get friskier, Trixie came in carrying Lily.
"Hey, is there room for us in that cuddle?".
"Always, my little doves". Lucifer lifted the arm that wasn't around his wife so the children could snuggle in. Once everyone was settled he opened his wings wrapped them around his girls.
His brother may have inspired a hero, but to Lucifer's little family, he actually was one.
