School and Year: Mahoutokoro, Year 3

Theme: Trackleshanks Locksmiths - Look at those trapped in a situation due to doing evil deeds or the evil deeds of another (desperation, addiction, getting caught)

Main Prompt: [Genre] Horror

Additional Prompts: [Song] Run Boy Run! and [Action] Getting kidnapped/kidnapping

Word count: 3261

Rated M for torture/violence and alcoholism.

AN: AU where Sirius and Remus found James and Lily together, so that they knew it hadn't been one of them. Also Wolfstar.

Thank you Liz for beta reading this :) You're the best beta and friend ever!

Remus sat at the counter of a Muggle bar, another shot staring up at him. He hesitated not even a second before downing it in one go, and dropping the glass back on the counter next to the others.

He gestured to the bartender for another round, but the young woman frowned.

"Why don't you take it a bit slower?" she said kindly, sliding him a beer instead of the requested shots.

Remus didn't hear her, not really paying attention to what drink she gave him, only seeing the swirling liquid in the bottle. He took a long draft of it and swallowed. It was bitter, but in a good way. A painful way.

It had been a little over a month since that fateful night. When him and Sirius had entered the ruins of the little house in Godric's Hollow, only to find their two best friends dead. James, lying pale and cold, eyes open and unseeing. Lily on the floor, bright red hair splayed out around her.

Remus remembered everything with terrifying clarity. He remembered stepping through the broken doorway and seeing James, hearing Sirius' screams of pain and fury. He remembered leaning against the wall as he made his way to the nursery, whispering the same words over and over again.

"Not Lily and Harry, not Lily and Harry, not Lily and Harry."

Then he turned and saw her. Her bright green eyes, identical to her son's, were open and staring like James'. Sirius was sobbing uncontrollably, begging Lily to wake up.

"Lily, please," Sirius had pleaded. "Lily? Lily, please wake up, please. Ha-Harry needs y-you. P-Please, wake up."

Remus had been silent. This couldn't be real. It wasn't real. He'd wake up soon, and it would have just been a horrible nightmare. James and Lily would still be alive, they'd have their weekly family dinners like usual, they would all play with Harry, everything would be okay. Everything would be normal when he woke up.

But Remus never woke up.

Instead, the nightmare had just continued on, getting worse and worse and more unbearable with every passing day, hour, and minute. Hell, every second seemed less bearable than the last.

Now, about five weeks later, the chill of December descending, Remus sat at the counter of the bar, drowning himself in alcohol and unshed tears. He swirled the beer around in the bottle, already to the final dregs of it. He'd drank almost the whole thing without even noticing.

As he took another swallow, song lyrics filtered in through the thick fog hanging over his mind. It came from a small radio, sitting at the other end of the counter. For some reason, the words were pulling him from his stupor, and as he blinked, looking up and listening to the tune, he realized why.

… this world is not made for you

… they're trying to catch you

… running is a victory

… beauty lays behind the hills

In less than twenty-four hours, Remus would be chaining himself up, preparing for a painful transformation. The world wasn't made for him or creatures like him. The nightmares, the fear, they were trying to catch him, bring him down. Running… running wasn't even an option. And as for beauty… well, he highly doubted that there was any beauty in the world for him.

Tomorrow is another day

And when the night fades away

You'll be a man, boy!

But for now it's time to run, it's time to run!

Now it seemed like the lyrics were taunting him. Tomorrow wasn't just another day. It was the day, the one he dreaded every single month. And when the night would fade away, he'd be hurt, bloody, achy. More scars would be littering his body, nobody there to help him, hold him, or clean his wounds when he was back in human form once again.

He had nobody anymore. He was alone.

Remus shook himself. He'd done this so many times now, that the process of getting drunk was seeming to take him longer and longer. He drained the last drops of beer in one swallow before dropping the bottle to the counter again. Remus was smart enough to know his limits. He always made sure to remain the tiniest bit sober, so as not to accidentally splinch himself while apparating home. After all, he had Firewhisky there. He could go home and drink himself into oblivion before locking himself up in the attic the next day.

He was a bit dizzy and stumbled a bit as he stepped out into the cold evening air a minute later, but he regained his footing quickly enough. Walking over to the alley beside the building, Remus glanced around. A second later, he was gone with nothing but a slight pop.

The next day, Remus didn't leave his house. Instead, he prepared the attic of his little rundown cottage while nursing a hangover. Sometimes, he just wished it would all end.

Sirius was sitting in the corner of his cell, staring blankly at the wall, just as he had done these past weeks. For a few days after he'd been convicted as a murderer, he'd been distraught. Tormented. He had felt grief and loss so strong that he couldn't imagine it ever fading. But eventually it did. Or maybe it was just buried. He wasn't sure anymore.

"Hey, Pads."

The soft voice scared Sirius and he jumped. The emotional voice in the midst of despair and inner chaos was shocking.

"R-Remus?" he croaked. He hadn't spoken in days, weeks even. He swallowed and coughed slightly, trying to get past the coarseness of his throat as he blinked his eyes.

"Hey," Remus said again. He crouched down so that he and Sirius were on eye-level.

Sirius shuffled towards the bars on his knees. "Remus, what –– what're you doing here?"

The two friends were face to face, only some inches between them. But despite the physical closeness, the iron bars and the knowledge between them made them feel as though they were still an ocean apart.

"I wanted to see you," Remus said. He tried to smile, but Sirius could clearly see the pain behind it. Remus' hands were closed tightly around two of the bars, and Sirius lightly laid his own hands over them.

"You shouldn't be here," he croaked out. Tears were stinging his eyes; the sight of his friend was stirring the well of emotions he'd drowned.

"Why not?" Remus said. He sank to the ground, the fabric of his robes sending up a cloud of dust. Nobody ever said Azkaban was clean.

"I know what the dementors are doing to you," Sirius said. "Don't keep up the facade for me."

His heart broke as he saw the mask flicker and finally fade from Remus' face.

Sirius bit his lip. "I'm sorry I –– I'm stuck here and not with you and Harry."

Remus looked down.

"Moony?" Sirius prompted. "What's the matter?"

Remus looked back at him tentatively.

"Pads, I –– I didn't get custody of Harry."

"What?" Sirius gasped, outraged.

Remus winced.

"What do you mean, you didn't get custody of Harry? You were to be his guardian if something ended up happening to me as well!"

"Dumbledore," Remus sighed. "Apparently there's some sort of blood protection that he possesses. Only if he's living with a blood relative will he have that protection."

Sirius was silent for a moment. No, it couldn't be.

"No," he said. "No, Remus, don't you dare tell me that my godson is living with that sister of Lily's! With those Muggles! Those are the last people James and Lily would want Harry with."

"I tried, Sirius," Remus said, his voice desperate. "I tried so damn hard to get custody of Harry, but Dumbledore wouldn't budge."

"There's got to be something we can do, Remus," Sirius said. "Dumbledore can't make these decisions for us. He's not the law, he's not our teacher anymore, he's just a man. We have to stand up for Harry and do what's best for him. What does this blood protection matter anyways? We're wizards, we can protect him much better than they can. But more importantly, Harry needs to be in a place where he's loved."

"At least… at least he'll be safe," Remus muttered.

"Don't be daft, Remus," Sirius said, using the bars to pull himself to his feet, wincing as his aching joints and limbs popped and stretched. "You know what the Dursleys are like, you met them at the wedding. They weren't there very long, but you saw the way they looked at all of us, as though we were freaks. Sure, we laughed about it then but how about now? They'll treat Harry the same way, mark my words."

Sirius started to pace around his cramped cell.

"I ––" Remus' trembling voice broke the torrent of thoughts in Sirius' mind. "I –– I don't know what to do, Pads." He was still sitting on the dusty floor, eyes hollow.

Sirius closed his eyes at his own stupidity. Of course Remus was feeling just as guilty for what had happened. It was one of his rare flaws.

He went forward, crouching down again in front of his longtime friend and partner. He put his thin hands over Remus' scarred ones.

"I'm sorry," he said in a hushed tone. "I'm not mad at you, I –– I just don't know what to do either and I took it out on you. I'm sorry, Moony."

"It's okay," Remus replied. He looked up, and Sirius felt even guiltier when he saw the tears in his partner's eyes.

"Remus," Sirius said, sitting down fully and crossing his legs, without lifting his hands from Remus'. "I'm sorry you have to see me like this. You shouldn't be here... Please, go and –– and leave me alone. I know you mean well, but…" His voice broke.

"What are you talking about?" Remus asked in disbelief. "Sirius, we need each other... Now more than ever…"

"Don't visit me again, Remus. It's for the best, for both of us." Sirius swallowed as tears of his own started to pool. He hated to say the words but he had to.

"Sirius, what's going on? Where is this coming from?" Remus asked.

"I know what the dementors are doing to you," Sirius said. "But more importantly, I ––" his voice cracked but Sirius didn't bother trying to steady it. "I don't want you to see me like –– like this."

"But I don't mi––"

"But I do," Sirius interrupted. "Remus, please. Just go. Get away from the Order, from Dumbledore. Or keep fighting. I don't care, just be happy, okay? Be happy and safe."

Remus jumped up, tears of anger instead of sadness falling down his face now.

"And how do you expect me to be happy without James and Lily? Without Harry? Wi-without you?" he said, his voice cracking too.

Sirius stood up, reaching through the bars for Remus' hands. "I'm sorry," he murmured, his own tears finally overflowing and trickling down his face into the thin beard that was slowly growing out.

Remus took a shaky breath, wiping a hand over his face as he let Sirius hold the other.

Sirius held it tightly, bringing it to his face as he kissed the scars on Remus' knuckles. "I love you, Remus. I always will. But you should go."

He cast curse after curse, hex after hex, throwing them faster than lightning at his attacker. As a bolt of bright red passed within an inch of his leg, Remus had to admit that his opponent was skilled.

He was trapped in an abandoned Muggle warehouse. He'd been tracking a rogue Death Eater, but apparently the man had had a companion disguised under a Disillusionment Charm. They'd lured him in, then caused explosions, trapping Remus inside. Yes, he could apparate but that would give the Death Eaters time to escape and he wasn't going to let them get away again.

Looking back, Remus verbally cursed himself into oblivion. He shouldn't have let them lure him in. He had just been so elated to have finally caught up to the Death Eater that he'd been tracking for two weeks, that he hadn't stopped to think about if he might have had an accomplice.

Now, he was trapped in the old, asbestos-coated building, cornered behind a tall shelf. The Death Eater he'd been tracking, Crowley, was fighting him. He wasn't sure where the girl, Crowley's companion, had gotten to.

Remus quickly ran through a list of scenarios in his head, and though he didn't like asking for help, he quickly figured out that his best chance of getting out of this mess would be to call for backup.

Maybe Alastor or Kingsley would be able to come to his rescue. No question, they'd scold him for going into this situation alone, but he could deal with that. He scrunched up his eyes and, after casting a Shield charm around himself, tried to focus on a happy memory. Sparks of silvery mist shot out but they were small. The wolfish shape he hated so much never fully formed.

The memory Remus had been concentrating on was his first kiss with Sirius when they were sixteen. The way it had felt and the way James had yelled "Finally" when it had happened.

That was always the memory he'd thought of before, and it had always worked, but things had changed now. He threw another curse towards Crowley, then took out a flask of Firewhisky. He took a quick drink from it, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes. Then he sighed and threw another curse, pocketing the flask again.

The next thing Remus knew, his Shield charm flickered and he was falling.

Remus awoke with a start. Instinct told him to reach for his wand but as he tried to move his hand, he found it stuck. Remus blinked, taking in his surroundings. He was laying on some sort of table, flat on his back and unable to move. For a second, his mind was blank as to what had happened but then it all came flooding back.

The failed Patronus, his Shield charm falling, and Crowley finally succeeding in hitting him. Briefly he wondered why he wasn't dead, but as he sensed another presence near him, he put the curiosity on hold.

A man came into view. It was Crowley, Remus was sure of it, and behind Crowley was the girl. He squinted, but the room was dark; Remus couldn't get a good look at either of them.

"So what do we have here?" Crowley asked. His voice sounded normal, but there an air of menace there that always sent chills down Remus' spine. As Crowley came nearer, Remus saw that he was still masked.

The girl came forward behind Crowley, still wearing her own mask as well.

"Now then," Crowley began, clapping his hands. "I see introductions and formalities as a waste of time; mightn't we just get straight to the point?"

Now, one stood at each of his sides. They stared down at him, and even with their masks on, Remus could sense the evil they carried with them. He could also hear it. The adrenaline pumping through their veins at the prospect of having caught a member of the Order of the Phoenix. The upbeat heart rate, a symptom of excitement.

As he absorbed these observations, Remus tried to move again. Anything, a finger, a toe, but nothing moved. He realized that he must be locked in a full body-bind curse. Thank Merlin he was able to blink and breathe at least.

"Crowley, shall we begin?" the female Death Eater said.

Crowley looked from Remus to the girl. "Certainly. Would you like to do the honors, Ruby?"

Remus could only imagine the leering smile lingering on Ruby's features as she turned her masked face towards him.

"We will kill him at the end, won't we?" she asked, sounding almost excited.

"Of course we will," Crowley replied. "Do you really think we'd torture a member of the Order of the Phoenix and then not kill him?"

Remus' eyes glanced between Crowley and Ruby anxiously. But he wasn't particularly anxious for himself, for he knew something they didn't.

He'd been tracking Crowley all afternoon and when he'd gotten trapped, it must've been around seven o'clock in the evening.

Which meant that soon, very soon, the moon would rise. A full moon. He could feel it already.

Ruby was raising her wand, flourishing it, showing off, before plunging the tip of it into Remus' chest.

If he could've screamed he would. There was no warning, no preempt, just sudden, white-hot pain spreading across his chest like fire. His eyes watered, tears sliding down into his hair. And there was something else. The pain. It was triggering.

Images flashed through his head once more. James and Lily dead, Harry being taken away by Hagrid, the way Sirius had told him to go, to stay away from him. To never visit him and move on with his life.

"Oh, starting fast are we?" Crowley said, speaking as a commentator at a Quidditch match would.

"Well, didn't you always say it had better results?" Ruby asked, removing her wand after a moment. As the pain ebbed somewhat, Remus swallowed and closed his eyes. The images faded too.

It was obvious that this was no unusual occurrence on a Saturday evening for Crowley and Ruby. There wasn't a single flinch, not a second of hesitation. Nothing. Just dry, cracked humor interspersed with torture.

"Again," Crowley said plainly.

Ruby eagerly plunged the tip of her wand into his chest again. Remus felt like he could explode. The scream wanted to rip through his chest. He bit his tongue and the metallic taste filled his mouth. He could feel his veins yelling, his heart racing as the images spun through his mind again. This time, older memories. His first transformation as a child, his parents dying, Sirius, half-dead, showing up at James' house, beaten and bloody.

"What's happening?" Crowley asked suddenly.

Ruby took her wand off Remus, backing up slightly.

Remus wanted to sob as the pain lifted and the images disappeared again.

His hands were slowly turning into something more like paws, he could feel his teeth growing longer, he could feel his whole body changing. From human into something else.

The body-bind curse was useless against werewolves, and now, Remus was more wolf than man. He leapt up from the table, snarling with anger, and yet howling with pain.

There was no use in fighting it. He let the rage pour into his transformation. His anger and pain, his grief, his suffering, everything that had been tormenting him over the last few months, he poured it into his werewolf form.

Crowley and Ruby had fallen back, ripped their masks off, and were now staring at Remus with horror.

Remus could barely sense what he was doing now. Another part of him was awake, tuning the human part out.

Everything was a blur now. Wolfish instincts on high, limbs strong and powerful, the creature ran. He ran through trees and over water, past old buildings like the one he'd just left, not even seeing them, blood dripping from his jaws.

He didn't stop till he reached the top of a hill, miles and miles away from the warehouse no doubt. He arched his back and howled. A howl full of despair and torment. The howl of a broken heart.