MA MUA O KOU HELE MUA - BEFORE YOU GO
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or the characters.
A/N: One shot - Coda to S10E14 - I Ho'olulu Ho'ohulei La E Ka Makani - I absolutely loved this episode. So many emotions. Both Steve and Danny were drowning in their own sadness. Then I figured why not extend the episode a little so that the boys could be there for each other. Here's my take on the episode. All mistakes are mine.
Before you go; When you hurt under the surface. Like troubled water running cold. Well, time can heal, but this won't.
MCGARRETT'S HOUSE - 5329 KALANIANAOLE HWY – HONOLULU - OAHU
McGarrett opened his fridge and grabbed a beer. He popped off the cap and walked back to his living room. Adam had taken place in the brown leather chair and was chatting with Tani and Quinn. Talking and sitting there as if nothing ever happened and as if he had never left. Except Adam did leave, and things did happen. So there wasn't one single cell in Steve's body that trusted the man that he once used to call his friend. Maybe in time, Adam would earn back that trust, but for now, Steve would play along.
"Here," Steve handed Adam his beer, and he accepted the Longboard. Steve was trying to find the right words or to say at least something. Only nothing came to mind. "Well," he started, but Steve's ringing cell phone interrupted the uncomfortable situation. He eagerly pulled it out of the pocket of his dark blue jeans and glanced at the caller ID. "Sorry, it's Duke," he hit the answer button. "McGarrett."
"Steve, sorry to bother, maybe it's nothing," the elder officer sounded concerned and paused. It alerted Steve immediately. "but is Danny with you?"
Steve felt his heart drop as Duke said his name. "No, he's not. Why'd you ask?" He asked uncertainly and out of curiosity.
Duke sighed wearily from the other side of the line. "Dispatch just received an emergency radio call from Detective Williams, requesting an ambulance."
Fear gripped Steve's heart, and instant panic crossed his mind. "What? How bad is it?"
"Sorry, I don't know the specifics. I tried calling Danny, but it went straight to voicemail. That's why I am calling you to check-in and give you a heads up."
Worried sick by those facts, Steve valued the call nonetheless. "I appreciate that, Duke. What's the location?"
"Paramedics, along with the HFD and an HPD patrol car, are en route to Waianae Valley Road, about a mile past Haleahi."
Steve kind of knew the location, but had no clue on what his partner would be doing there. "All right, I'll head over there. Thanks, Duke." He disconnected the call and ran his hand over his face. With a profoundly distressed frown, he looked at the people around him, but in return, they all stared questionably at him.
Tani rose from the couch. "Boss, what's going on?"
Steve shoved his phone back in his pocket. "I'm not sure. Dispatch received a radio call from Danny, asking for an ambulance."
Adam put his Longboard aside. "A radio call? What happened?"
Steve rushed over to the desk, standing in the study. He pulled his badge and gun out of the drawer and secured both items onto his belt. "I'm guessing he didn't have any signal. It's a pretty remote location." He walked back to the group when he eyed Eddie looking at him. Steve sighed; he didn't want to leave his buddy after all that happened today. Yet his heart was pounding in his chest, deeply concerned about his partner.
Quinn probably noticed his struggle to decide. "Don't worry, go check if he's okay. We'll take care of Eddie." She kindly offered.
Tani snatched the car key off the coffee table. "I'm coming with you."
KALANIANAOLE HWY – HONOLULU - OAHU
"And?" Steve questioned, changing lanes trying to go as fast as he could.
Tani held her phone up to her ear. She had been trying to call Danny time and time again. "He's not answering. It's still going straight to his voicemail."
"All right, keep trying." Steve floored the gas pedal while he passed the car driving in front of him.
"I will, but I mean there's probably nothing wrong with him, right? He just doesn't have a signal like you said," Tani concluded, but Steve could tell that theory didn't convince her. He was right when she admitted her concerns. "Well, none of that helps. I'm worried anyway."
"So am I, but I also know, Danny himself called in for help, so theoretically, he should be fine." Steve tried to comfort the youngest team member. He had been surprised she wanted to come along. But ever since Danny had taken a bullet to the chest, the bond between Danny and Tani had grown stronger, and they cared for one another. Steve admired their mentor-like friendship.
Tani nodded and glanced aside at Steve. "That's true, and you said you guys spoke this morning, right?"
"We did," Steve recalled the conversation.
"Did he sound off or anything?" Tani wondered, still calling Danny.
Steve shrugged his shoulders. "Not really, we talked about Eddie. I asked if he wanted to grab a bite later today. He declined, saying he was sitting in a bar with a woman. That's it."
Tani lowered her phone abruptly. "A bar? You didn't think it was strange he was at a bar in the morning?"
Now it was Steve's turn to look aside. His aneurysm face presented as he didn't think anything about it. "No, not really?"
Astound, Tani responded. "Not really? Who goes to a bar before noon?"
It indeed might be a weird thing to do, but Steve figured his partner had a legit reason for it. "Well, maybe he needed someplace quiet to think. Or what most people do at a bar, get a drink."
Tani went along with Steve's suggestions. "Could be, but did he say why he was meeting with that woman?"
Steve shook his head. "He didn't have a meeting. She came up to him, that's all I know." Suddenly that thought became unsettling. He really liked to believe in love at first sight, but he had been let down too many times to know it wasn't always like that. Steve turned on the sirens and went even faster.
WAIANAE VALLEY ROAD - HONOLULU - OAHU
The GPS on his phone told Steve to make a right, so he did. Steering onto the new, but a remote road, blue lights flickered in the distance. Driving ahead, a different kind of fear crept into his mind. Something horrible had happened; he could feel it in his gut. When he received the call, he had no idea what to expect, and he had tried to stay positive. Only now that Steve picked up its speed, it felt as if he was driving toward a crime scene. Closing in, he was no longer sure he was ready to find out the truth.
Two HPD vehicles, along with a single HFD truck and an ambulance were parked in the middle of the road. They blocked Steve from going any further, so he pulled over his red truck as close as he could get. Steve inhaled deeply, opened his door, and got out. Both him and Tani slammed their doors shut and jogged toward the fuss. Firefighters were running back and forth between their truck and the side of the road. So the Five-0 coworkers went in the same direction.
Coming up to the side, Steve stared down the steep incline. Despite all the firemen and police officers that worked the scene, his eyes locked on a car wreck. A silver-grey mid-sized vehicle was completely caved into the surrounding nature. Firefighters were busy cutting off the jammed passenger door with jaws. The rest of the car was a total mess. The hood, crammed into some trees and the windows shattered. Absorbing the damage done to the vehicle, Steve figured it had crashed off the road and down the gradient. Scanning the crash site, Steve's gaze landed on something familiar. A grey duffle bag. Danny's grey duffle bag to be exact.
Steve searched desperately for his friend or for anything that could indicate Danny had been in that car. By now, the first responders had removed the door and tossed it aside. From where Steve was standing, he couldn't tell if it was Danny sitting in the car. However, it was clear to Steve that the firemen tried to extract a person from the wreck. Worried about his partner, Steve started to make his way down to the car.
"Danny?" Steve shouted his friend's name with the hope he would get a reply. Only it stayed silent. Steve felt the panic tighten inside him. The rocks shifted underneath his feet, making it more challenging to continue, but it didn't stop him. Managing to get down there, Tani had followed him and bumped into him as Steve suddenly froze. The ground disappeared from underneath his feet when he noticed the body bag. Two firemen lifted the heavy bag and started walking toward Steve and Tani. The heaviness of the bag made it evident that there was a body inside.
"Oh my god," shocked, Tani put her hand up to her mouth. "Is that…"
"The female passenger; she, unfortunately, didn't survive her injuries." One of the police officers notified.
Steve briefly closed his eyes and swallowed the fear that had closed his throat. "What-um-what about the driver?"
A fireman carrying equipment turned and faced them. "You mean the man that lost control over the wheel and crashed his car off a cliff? Killed an innocent woman in the process?"
Tani's eyes widened. "Excuse me?"
The man continued. "He's a detective. Would you believe that?"
Tani stormed over to the fireman. "Hey, you don't know what happened exactly," she pointed her finger at the guy almost jabbing the man's chest. "You shouldn't run your mouth if you don't know what you're talking about." She snapped.
Steve put himself between Tani and the fireman, creating some distance. Steve picked his coworker's side though. "She's right. You shouldn't do that, especially if you don't know who you're talking to. The detective you're talking about is my partner, and we're Five-0," he clipped his badge off his belt and almost shoved it in the fireman's face. "Now, where is he." Steve demanded.
"I'm sorry, I didn't know," the fireman apologized. "He's up there," he nodded in the direction of the road. "The paramedics are taking care of him."
Steve ignored the apology. He put his hand on Tani's shoulder. "Come on."
Steve went first and climbed back up the sheer slope, grabbing trees as guidance. Tani was just behind him, so Steve gave her a hand out when she almost reached the top. He pulled her up over the edge but didn't waste a second longer than necessary. Steve jogged in the direction of the ambulance. The emergency vehicle was positioned with its back facing Steve. However, he didn't see his friend just yet. The way the female paramedic was standing blocked Steve's chance of relief.
A second later, the paramedic stepped into the back of the rig, giving Steve a clear line of sight at his best friend. Danny was sitting on the step at the back of the ambulance. His shoulders fallen, submissive to the gravity of the situation. It squeezed Steve's heart together to see his best friend hurt like this. His gaze fell on Danny's dirty tank top as he slowed down, trying to process the terrible view. The shirt used to be white, but right now, it was littered with bloodstains. Steve figured that most of the blood didn't belong to Danny himself. Otherwise, they would've rushed off to the hospital by now. However, it didn't make it any less horrible to look at him.
Stepping closer, Steve noticed that Danny's hands were covered in dried blood and dirt. His jeans were smudged with the same mixture. Danny's blond hair, usually neatly combed, bore the telltale signs that his bloodied hands had been run through it in distress. Steve was looking at the posture of a defeated man, and it hurt him in a way he never thought was possible.
"Danny," Steve said as he approached him, but Danny didn't even flinch. He just stared ahead; his face drained with an expressionless stare like Steve wasn't even there. So he placed his hand on Danny's left shoulder and squeezed gently. "Hey, you okay?"
His partner's baby blue glossy eyes shot up at him. His eyebrows snapped, confused together. "Steve?"
"Yeah, you okay, buddy?" Steve asked, worried as he scanned his friend for injuries. He didn't detect any severe ones, but Danny was a mess. Several minor glass cuts littered his face, and the cut above his left eyebrow was still actively bleeding. With Danny's left hand pressed against the right side of his chest, Steve figured he probably had some busted ribs. Even though his friend appeared physically to be okay, Steve still had no clue on what caused all this.
"What happened?" He inquired.
Visibly pained by that question, Danny stared ahead again. He cleared his throat, but to no avail because his voice faltered anyway as he spoke. "She didn't make it."
Steve was no real detective, but he had learned a thing or two from Danny, so he had figured it out by now. "The girl from…"
"…the bar? Yeah…" Danny looked down, his stare glued to his bloodied and dirty stained hands.
Tani's sorrowful eyes met briefly with Steve's before she glanced down at Danny. "That's awful. I'm so sorry, Danny."
Danny tried to give a comforting smile, but his lips barely twitched. "Don't be. It's not on you." He sighed as he pressed his left hand back on the right side of his ribs. Pain contorted his face as he tried to get up.
"Whoa, sit down, buddy." Steve grabbed Danny's bicep and gently helped him back on to the edge of the ambulance.
"No, m' fine." Danny pushed Steve's hand off his arm and staggered to his feet anyway.
The EMT climbed out of the ambulance, probably concerned that her client would runoff. "Detective, you really should let me take you to the hospital. Just to get an X-ray of your chest to see if your ribs are broken or not." She tried.
Steve watched Danny wave the offer away. "No, it's fine, doesn't even hurt."
"What about your ankle?" The woman wondered out loud as Steve's gaze landed on his friend's feet. He hadn't noticed an ankle injury, but Danny had been sitting the whole time, so he possibly couldn't have.
"It will be fine. Don't worry about it." Danny winced as he took a step. He clearly was having some discomfort in his ankle.
Steve agreed with the paramedic; a doctor should thoroughly examine his partner. Steve pressed his hand on Danny's chest to keep him from walking away. "Danny, just let her take you to the hospital."
Something changed; Danny's eyes hardened with anger, with grief. "No, I'm not letting her take me to the hospital," he pushed, once more, Steve's hand away. Danny's gaze drifted off somewhere past Steve. He turned and watched the body bag getting loaded into the medical examiners' van. Steve looked back at his friend. "I'm going wherever they are taking her." Danny stated.
Steve should've known better; he had recognized the pain and the guilt from a mile away. He had been there himself, too many times lately. So he knew exactly how hurt and destroyed Danny must be. Steve could tell the actual shock had already turned into the weird feeling that there was more to be done. Or things Danny wanted save. Only there was nothing left to do. Except wait for the guilt to settle, but looking at his friend Steve knew it was eating him alive. He briefly let his head down as he sighed.
"Okay, okay. I understand," Steve held up both hands and let his partner go. Danny limped towards the M.E van, his body visibly searing with pain each time he took a step.
The EMT stepped out of the back. "Commander, promise me you'll keep an eye on him."
Steve nodded, appreciating her concern. "I will, I promise. Thank you."
MEDICAL EXAMINER'S OFFICE - DOWNTOWN HONOLULU - OAHU
Danny approached the body lying on the examination table. Noelani had neatly covered the corpse with a white sheet. Now that Danny was standing there, the medical examiner gently removed the sheet exposing the woman's face. Danny could hear Noelani say he could have all the time he needed, but that was too late. Hours ago, he would have wanted all the time in the world with her. Right now, he just wanted to see her once more. To touch her once more. To say goodbye once more.
Danny's warm hand fell softly on her cold skin. He placed his hand over her chest; it didn't rise or fall because it no longer contained a beating heart. Tears welled up in his eyes, but he quickly wiped them away before they would come streaming. He didn't deserve to cry over a woman that he didn't even know that well. He didn't even know her name. So how could he be this upset over a woman he had known for less than a couple of hours.
None of that mattered because losing her did hurt. It made him angry, but most of all, it made him sad. Sad that he would never see her eyes again. Sad that he would never hear another of her sarcastic jokes. Sad that he didn't get to spent more time with her. Sad that he failed to save her. It made him feel as if he was drowning in his sadness. So devastated that his heart that used to beat with love was still and his mind that usually felt so many emotions were blank.
Standing there, Danny caressed her soft cheek, soaking in every detail of her face. Closing his eyes, Danny actually could still feel her delicate lips on his. The ones that consistently had a faint smile since the minute he had met her. He'd somehow been magically drawn to her awe-striking features. Her smooth dark brown hair with soft curls fell just past her shoulders. Her face, slightly lighter than ivory with a rose-colored tint to her cheeks. Her green eyes were lively and shimmered with a radiant bliss when she smiled. Those bright eyes had made it impossible for him not to be held prisoner by them.
Danny was not sure if he'd said it out loud that she was classically beautiful, but he should've. He should have told her so much more. He could have talked for hours, telling her all the things he wanted to say to her. Only it was too late. It was clearly another lesson he had to learn the hard way. Danny stroked her curly brown hair gently one more time. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He whispered.
With that, Danny left. He walked with a limp into the office. Noelani was seated behind her desk, and Steve in one of the chairs standing in front of the desk. Steve turned in his seat and stared sympathetically at him. Danny hated it if his friend looked at him like that. He didn't need his support or compassion. He didn't deserve any of that. It was his fault, so there was no need for Steve to be like that.
Danny cleared his throat and looked at Noelani. "Could you give me a call if someone from her family shows up?"
Noelani nodded, understanding. "Of course."
Danny briefly glared down at Steve. "Let's go."
MCGARRETT'S HOUSE - 5329 KALANIANAOLE HWY – HONOLULU - OAHU
After coming home to Steve's place, Danny had withdrawn himself to the guest room. Not that he'd said a word on the drive over, but Steve had let him. Danny even barely said a word when Quinn asked how he was doing. He excused himself and had gone upstairs. Quinn had stayed, expressed her concerns, but shortly after, she left the boys alone. Steve slumped heavily into the leather couch. Eddie rested his head on Steve's lap as the commander finished his cold beer. It had been an exhausting and strange day.
Little later, Steve started making dinner. He heard the shower getting turned on as he was cutting some tomatoes. Meaning Danny had left his room, which was a good sign. However, he didn't come downstairs for dinner nor for some time after that. Steve had put the leftovers in the fridge in case his friend got hungry. And he should eat at some point because Steve figured Danny didn't even have had lunch today.
Returning home from a short walk with Eddie, Steve spotted his partner outside, sitting in one of the chairs by the water. Danny had cleaned himself up, the blood and dirt washed off, and he'd put on different clothes. Steve grabbed two beers from the fridge and went down there himself. He sat down in the empty chair next to Danny as the sun was beautifully setting. Steve handed him the beer in complete silence, saying nothing, allowing his friend to stay lost in the moment a while longer. He leaned back and watched the sea, lost in the rhythmic percussion of waves on the sand. With his eyes focused on the horizon, his face was aglow with the last orange rays.
Minutes went by before Steve looked aside at Danny. "You okay?" He finally asked.
Danny pouted while staring straight ahead. "Devine okay for me."
A small smile appeared on Steve's face. "Actually, pal, that's my line."
Danny locked eyes with Steve; one eye closed as he probably was blinded by the orange sunlight. "I know, that's why I said it."
They remained silent for a bit until Steve sighed. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"I don't know. Not sure if there's anything to talk about," Danny leaned forward. His arms were resting on his knees as he peeled at the beer bottle label. "She asked me if I was always unlucky," he took a swig of his beer and swallowed hard. "Never thought I'd be this unlucky."
Steve could hear the pain in his friend's voice. "I don't think this has anything to do with luck."
Danny looked up at him. It was horrible. "No? 'Cause first I meet the girl of my dreams, then she dies right in front of me without knowing her name," he paused "I call that bad luck,"
Steve let his eyes down. He'd nothing to say in return, nothing that could ease the situation.
Danny sighed. "You know, I keep thinking about all the things I should've said to her. She'd completely thrown me off my game in the bar. I didn't know what to say like I was back in High School or something. And in the end, I keep thinking if there was something I could've said to make it all stop hurting?" he cast his gaze onto the ground, and his eyes darkened. He glanced back up at Steve. "Honestly, I didn't think I would actually lose her," his voice sounded more saddened than anything. "And now that she's gone, all I hear are the words that I should've said."
It killed Steve to see how his friend's mind was making him feel so worthless. Steve would do anything to take that away, but only time could do such a thing. "You did everything you could, Danny. I know you did."
"It won't bring her back though." Danny leaned back again. Doing so, he grimaced and tried to suppress a small groan that escaped his lips. His left hand shot up to the right side of his chest.
Steve could see the physical pain lingering on Danny's face. "Those ribs bothering you?"
"A little," Danny admitted to Steve's surprise.
Steve jumped on his feet. "All right, I know you don't want to, but we're going to the hospital."
"Fine," Danny rolled with his eyes. "What about Eddie?"
"He's sleeping. The meds finally kicked in. But I'll text Tani, see if she can come over," Steve fished his phone out of his pocket. He quickly sent Tani a text. She immediately replied, saying she was on her way. Reassured with the fact that Eddie wouldn't be alone, Steve put his phone away. He reached out his hand so he could pull Danny up from the chair. "Come on. I'll drive."
"You'll have to, 'cause you wrecked the Camaro last week."
"Hey, it was not my fault, you know that," Steve argued against his partner. "Wait, give me a hug first." He opened his arms so that Danny could embrace him.
Danny wrapped his arms around Steve. "Thanks for showing up, Steve."
"I got you, buddy."
-THE END-
A/N: I hope you enjoyed it. Always love to hear what you think. Thank you for reading and until the next one.