It had not taken long to figure out who to avoid while working at the Embassy. I'd only needed a day to figure out that you wanted to have Kathy, the office manager, in your corner. If she liked you, things were great. If she did not… well, it sucked ass to be you, I guess. She could make your working life absolutely miserable and I was glad I'd spent my short time in orientation with her making sure to pay attention to what she said and all the office procedures. I followed the rules without complaint, which was, apparently, all I had to do for Kathy to like me.
The other fact that had become quite obvious after a few weeks in the Embassy was that there was a killer in the office. Well, not literally, but there was certainly a lady killer: Javier Peña. He was a DEA agent, and it was an open secret how he worked some of his more personal informants. Somehow that didn't dissuade many of the other women in the office from tasting the proverbial forbidden fruit.
The man was sinfully attractive, the dark brown eyes full of deep-felt emotion, the dark hair, the strong nose and that jawline were aesthetically divine, in my opinion. He would have been the tall, dark and handsome stranger in any romance novel.
Somehow, thankfully, I had slipped his notice so far. I didn't need him noticing me to know all about why I should avoid Agent Javier Peña. Since I was not "involved", as my friend Joan had put it, I had somehow become the shoulder every single one of those women came to cry on. I'd heard more than I ever needed to about how great he was in bed from Anne a couple weeks back and I was still blushing. The man was fun, sure, but didn't seem the type to stick around, and I wasn't really interested in that.
So, I was a little surprised when Agent Peña had placed himself in front of my desk late in the afternoon on a Thursday with some paperwork that needed notarized.
"I never got a request from management for this," I said, looking over the paperwork before frowning at Agent Peña over my glasses. "I need to have this signed off on by your manager to process, Agent Peña."
"Call me Javi, and can't we just ignore that bit of paperwork?"
I stared at him aghast. "I didn't get my job by ignoring government procedures, Agent Peña. Kathy would skin me alive for pushing this through without proper authorization."
"And that is exactly why I'm asking you," Javier explained. "Kathy loves you and isn't going to question why you signed off on this. If she does, she'll just blame me for corrupting you."
I could not even formulate a retort to such an insane idea. Also, when had he formed such an opinion of me? It was one thing to be complimented for your work ethic and morals, but he said it as if I was a goodie-two-shoes. Perhaps I was to some extent, but heaven help this man if he implied I was a kiss-ass, as well, that I wouldn't forgive.
Javier must have seen my silence as a sign that I was starting to cave, so he doubled down.
"This will help protect one of my informants. They have valuable info on the cartels that'll help multiple investigations we're working right now."
It clicked into place a moment later then I would like to admit. He needed this for his 'informant'. I wonder if he knew the office had started to use the word "informant" as an euphemism to refer to someone they were sleeping with. Probably if Lee had anything to say about it, and goodness knows Lee had a lot to say about everything.
"I don't know…"
"You'll be saving a life by signing that paper," Javier said, becoming more intense and less flirty. "Don't think I don't repay favors. Do this for me and I will help you out with something, whatever you want."
There were times my brain failed me, and other times it was brilliant. I was not sure which of the two my first thought was, but I had, to be honest, the guilting was not the only thing driving me. I was also curious.
"A name for a date," I said lightly as I signed my first name and passed the paperwork back over to Javier.
"A date?" Javier blinked owlishly for a moment before smirking. Oh god, I might have made a mistake.
"I'll pick you up at seven tomorrow night," Javier said, flashing me a 100-watt smile, which had my traitorous stomach flipping as he turned to walk away. He had only gone two steps before he glanced down at the paper in his hands.
"Darling, you didn't finish signing," he said, his frown turning into a smirk as he came back to my desk. Javier obviously thought he had gotten me so flustered that I'd forgotten my own last name. My annoyance over that assumption gave me the pep to follow through with my impromptu idea.
"You only asked for a name for a favor, not my full name," I said crisply as I turned back to my real work.
"What's the second favor, princesa?" he said, turning on the charm as he slid the paper back over to me. This was the kind of game he was used to, but I was not.
I felt cowardice flood over me and I couldn't hold his gaze, my face flushing and eyes falling back to the paper between us as I added my surname.
"I-I'll have to figure the second favor out," I said, and it was the truth. Now, I could see why so many women had fallen for him over and over again. He was magnetic and I felt that pull and I did not know where it was going to lead.
When Friday night rolled around the next day Javier arrived punctually at seven and rang my apartment from the main intercom at the entryway. He looked more relaxed in jeans and a patterned shirt that was, of course, unbuttoned at the top two buttons. To be fair, the whole day had been so sweltering I'd forgone trying to do any heavy makeup for it would have slid right off my face. So I had stuck with some blue eyeshadow my friend Natalie said looked good on me and a dash of pink lipstick. It wasn't like I was trying to impress him, right? Ok, that was a lie, and the moment I heard the intercom, I regretted the blue eyeshadow. I could only be grateful that my glasses did obscure some makeup sins.
Javier said we were going to a club he thought I would like as we got into his vehicle, on the opposite side of Bogotá. His warm tone brought life to the Spanish words that I'd just never been able to pick up myself in school. I knew I sounded like a gringo and that wasn't going to change, but Javier was like listening to amber honey personified.
"So what brought you down to Columbia?" he asked, starting a conversation off immediately as he pulled into the city's nightlife traffic with ease.
"The overwhelming need to prove my parents wrong?" I offered, the words coming out naturally. While Javier might be everything the office gossips said he was, the man also had the natural ability to make me feel completely at ease, like I was the absolute center of his attention. It was catnip to me.
He chuckled at my answer, and I saw a dimple form on his cheek when he smiled.
"You're a long way from home to just prove them wrong. Bogotá is a long ways from… were are you from in the states? You don't sound like you are from Texas."
"We moved around a bit when I was growing up, mainly around the east coast, but my parents and my siblings are all living in Pennsylvania, near Maryland," I explained.
"Ah, I didn't think you were an only child." He gave me a side-eyed glance that looked almost mischievous. "Let me guess, you're the oldest? Or, at, very least oldest daughter?"
I bit back a laugh myself. "Yep, I'm the oldest of four. Me, the two boys and my sister. Dare I ask, how you guessed that?"
He looked at me as he slowed down for a bit of traffic. "Oldest girls tend to be responsible, caring and ambitious. It seemed to fit you from what I hear around the office."
I raised an eyebrow at that. Since when was I a topic for office conversation?
"Well, let me guess…" I considered his face for a moment, trying very hard to divine something about his family life much to his obvious amusement. "I'd say you're the youngest and you have older brothers."
That gave him a visible start and now he was looking at me with a raised eyebrow.
"Dare I ask?" He asked, quoting me with a bemused look. I must have been correct.
"Not sure, you just have a similar energy to my baby brother. He's the social one of the family and great with people." I shrugged. "So, was I right about the older brothers?"
Javier scoffed at the 'baby brother' comment which amused me.
"Two older brothers, and, yes, I'm the youngest. I can't believe it's that obvious, though." He tried to sound huffy, but the rueful smirk on his face ruined the effect.
"Your family all in Texas, still?" I asked, flipping the conversation to better include him.
"Mostly, Pop and Mom are still on the ranch. Manuel is in Forth Worth and Eduard moved out to Tucson a few years back with his wife and kids."
"Oh really? Two of my grandparents live south of Tucson, in Green Valley. My parents would ship one of us kids off to stay with them in for a few weeks in the summer when I was younger."
"Small world," Javier replied. "They ever take you to Mission San Xavier del Bac? My brother and his family gave me the grand tour when I visited."
"Every single trip," I said with a laugh.
The drive was only about twenty minutes, but it seemed both very short and much longer at the same time. It was surprisingly natural to talk with Javier and I was grateful for it. An awkwardly silent car ride would have been awful.
The club Javier had picked was one I had heard of, but never been to. They had drinks and good music and seemed a popular but not overly crowded place. They had some great mixed drinks and I ordered a Dirty Banana (loved the drink, hated the name) while Javier ordered a Rum and Coke.
We chatted on and off the whole time and I was enjoying myself immensely. I couldn't lie, it was addictive to be the main focus of a charismatic man's attention in a club full of absolutely gorgeous women, even if I had sort of bought said attention for the night.
I was put at ease until Javi pulled me towards the dance floor. The warmth of his hand on mine, which was still cold from holding my drink, sent an almost electric tingle through me. I was never the biggest dancer, but with Javi that didn't matter. He knew how to lead a dance partner and I felt I would have been fine with him as a partner even if I had never danced a day in my damn life.
It was around 3 AM when Javi's car parked on the street near my apartment. He offered to walk me back and I did not refuse. I was never out in Bogotá alone at this time of night, and I was not particularly comfortable with the idea of walking back by myself, especially since I was a little tipsy.
As we came to the apartment doorway our conversation came to a quiet end and large warm hands settled at my waist as Javi pulled me closer to him. I knew he was going to kiss me and I didn't want to stop him, my eyes closing automatically.
The kiss was not what I expected and yet Javi could have had my very heart out of my chest at that moment if he had asked for it. He was almost tentative at first, as if he was afraid of scaring me off. The spicy musk of his cologne, the tickle of his mustache, and the feel of his touch overwhelmed me and I heard myself let out a small whimper as I kissed him back. My hands found resting places at his cheek and in his hair as Javi deepened the kiss, his mouth becoming searing against mine. He tasted like the Rum and Coke he had been drinking but something deeper, as well. My stomach clenched when he growled quietly in frustration as we had to pull part to catch our breaths, his forehead almost resting against mine.
"So, what's the second favor, princesa?" Javi murmured against my lips, our breaths mingling together in the humid Columbian night. He was fire against my skin and I felt like he was going to consume me entirely. Heart, mind, and soul. I would have nothing left after he was done.
I did not remember opening my eyes to look into his brown ones, but I knew my choice the moment he had asked even as I looked into those eyes. Smiling sadly, I let my hand linger on his cheek for a moment longer. It was painfully self-indulgent of me, so I forced my hand to fall as I gently pulled away. It was easier this way.
"I had a great night, Javier, thank you," I said as I took a step back, leaving his touch behind. I busied my hands with finding my keys in my purse, trying to not think of the feel of his skin on mine. His mouth on mine. "The second favor is just telling the truth about what happened and didn't happen tonight to anyone in the office who asks."
God, the lines etched on his forehead only got deeper when he was confused and all I wanted to do was smooth them away and that was something I could not see myself being given the privilege to do.
"What are you saying?"
"That tonight was a great night." I reaffirmed.
"Was?" he parroted.
"Yes, was. You stay safe on your way home." I said, trying to be gentle with him even in the awkwardness as I unlocked the main apartment entrance door. Javier Peña was obviously not used to being left at the doorstep of a woman's abode. I knew if I let him in the apartment I'd end up making a choice that would hurt me.
So, I whispered goodnight to Javier and slipped into the building, leaving him in the night.
The weekend was rough after Friday night. I was full of anxious energy paired with an overwhelming sense of loss. A loss over a relationship that had not even been. It was just the idea of one and that seemed an absolutely ridiculous thing to mourn. The connection I had felt with Javi — no Agent Peña — had just been the result of his charisma and that was it.
Even as I ruthlessly scrubbed at the gross inside of the oven in my tiny apartment, a chore I had never even done when I lived with my parents, I knew I had made the right choice for me. It just felt crap to force yourself to keep from falling. Something in the back of my mind whispered that I already had fallen, but I drown it with cleaning the grout in the kitchen next.
When Monday rolled around, my apartment was spotless and so was my mind. I had stopped things before I gotten in over my head, I now knew my limits better and what I really wanted out of a relationship so I would grow from this. I had learned a valuable lesson about myself which I had always sort of questioned, that my money was where my mouth was. I wanted a relationship with a partner, not a one-night stand. Even if said one-night stand had soulful brown eyes, always seemed to wear partly unbuttoned shirts in the Columbia heat and also seemed to have the sinful ease of seeing into my very being.
So, when Natalie cornered me at the fax machine telling me to spill the beans at work, I gave her honesty.
"It was a good time. I enjoyed going out with Peña, but he isn't worth the inevitable heartbreak." I was able to say without malice. It had been a fun night, after all, and an important one for me. "We are obviously looking for different things, it wouldn't have worked out well."
"Wait…" Natalie said her face a mix of confusion, relief, and concern. "You guys didn't…you know?"
"No." I said, feeling embarrassed now. "I just couldn't without becoming invested, I know myself too well."
What neither Natalie or I knew was that the office gossip, Lee, had overheard our conversation.
That first week was the hardest. With Lee going around the whole office the very first day, I knew that word had gotten around that Agent Peña had failed in a conquest. Those where some fun conversations to be the subject of, not.
It quickly became obvious things had not gone…as smoothly as I had thought Friday night? I didn't see hide nor hair of Agent Peña that week. His partner Agent Murphy, however, had been over twice as often for office supplies from Kathy or needing correctly processed paperwork to be notarized by myself.
It was quite obvious that Peña was avoiding me and that pissed me off. We had a fun night, sure, but we were both adults, right? If this was because I didn't put out, fuck him. I was really only able to hold onto that anger until Wednesday when the self-doubt came to visit. Was I that uninteresting? No kind of a fight at all? Yeah, that stung.
I did not like either option and tried not to think about it too much as I made plans with Natalie. Her cousin had shipped her a home care package that included familiar snack foods and a new VHS tape of Romancing the Stone which had come out the other year. Natalie's husband was on a business trip this weekend so we could have a girl's night. I just didn't expect to start fucking crying over a romantic comedy starring Michael Douglas. But here I was, a mess eating chocolates and drinking a homemade wine spritzer with my dear work friend who probably thought I had finally lost it. I wanted to be that hopeful romantic, but right now I felt like the very hopeless type. Thankfully, my tipsy crying and girl talk with Natalie really helped. Peña could "go choke on a spoon" as she put it and that had actually been able to make me laugh through the tears.
During the second week, Agent Murphy was the only one of the DEA agents our department saw, but, other than that, it was relatively normal. That was, until I returned back to my desk from the bathroom to find the other girls frantically typed away and Kathy looking around with a glare that wanted to find a victim.
I quickly sat down and got back to my paperwork even as I asked Natalie in a hushed voice, "What the fuck happened?"
Natalie looked over her shoulder and saw Kathy had gone back to work herself, so we were in the clear.
"I think Kathy just ripped Agent Peña a new one, but no one overheard what she said. It was awful, Kathy was so angry she wasn't even yelling."
"Oh god," I said, paling. It was one thing when Kathy blustered, it was another when she got quiet.
"Yeah, she pretty much told him to get the fuck out of her office. We were able to hear that much, at least."
"Fuuuuuck."
"Yep." Natalie said popping the 'p'. "Murphy is going to be pissed."
Murphy was indeed pissed. Lee reported that he had "overheard", but we all knew he had probably followed them around. Really the CIA should probably hire Lee to find out information on the cartels if only he could keep the information to himself. According to him, Steve lay into his partner later that day, yelling something about Peña acting like a teenager. Agent Peña told Murphy to "it wasn't his business" and to "fuck off" before he stormed out of the embassy. Yeah, that was a fun week.
The office was in an absolute uproar which always went silent whenever one of the DEA agents came into a room. It didn't matter if it was a meeting room, the cafeteria, a hallway, you could track the DEA boys by the eerie silence that followed them around as everyone waited for the next blow up.
Week three in, things seemed to tapper off. Murphy was still the only DEA agent Kathy let in our office. It was obvious that, while Steve was glad Kathy had not developed a hate for him along with Peña, he was also growing tired of having to do every single menial task that he should be splitting with his partner. He looked rather run down by Thursday while I notarized a whole stack of affidavits. It was obvious he was avoiding going back to his office at the moment, but I was not about to comment.
Finally, though, it was Friday again. Everyone was ready for the weekend and for drinks. Natalie had invited me to go out with her and some other friends of hers and her husband. It would be good fun and I needed to not…dwell on Javier like I was still doing sometimes.
That was until he dragged Steve into our area who looked a right mess. Steve had somehow gotten some chemicals in his eyes and they needed the eye washing station, did anyone know how to use the fucking eye washing station?
In fact, no one except Kathy knew how to use the eye washing station. It was there because of OSHA, but heaven forbid we all actually know how to use the damn set up.
I, like everyone else, had stood up at my desk and was watching the whole debacle happen as tiny Kathy forced Steve's head down over the station and insisted he keep his eyes open as she turned the unit on. It was like watching a strange modern renaissance painting come to life. Somehow, the energy of the moment reminded me of a painting by Artemisia Gentileschi of Judith Slaying Holofernes. Just with less blood.
The scene was so odd I didn't even notice Peña at my desk until he had already been talking for a good little bit. I blinked at him owlishly, his words not at all computing. So I came up with a very witty remark — not.
"What?"
He seemed frustrated, but started over.
"I said I only have three minutes. Steve only gave me three minutes. Will you sign this paperwork for me?"
This didn't actually make any sense to me. Why did Javier need paperwork signed when his partner was being drowned by my office manager?
"I mean, I can, but is Steve ok?" I asked as I automatically got my pen and finished up the paperwork. It was easy enough since everything was in order and properly signed off on.
Javier tapped the place I had signed, the first name and then the last with a grin.
"Dinner and a movie?" he said, starting out as if it was a statement but he ended up cracking and it came out as a question.
I looked at him in confusion, the Javier Peña I knew did not sound vulnerable.
"What?" Again was all I was able to get out, the situation too removed from what I thought I knew about the man for me to understand it.
"Two favors. Dinner, and a movie." He explained again. "I promise no strings after that, but…"
God damn, was he was turning red?
"I want to get to know you better," Javi blurted out, looking almost perturbed with himself.
Oh dear lord, I had lost it. This was all a bizarre dream, no, maybe a nightmare? I couldn't even answer Javier and I just stood there gaping like a fish. The silence between us stretched on as the scene with Kathy and Steve continued to play out for the rest of the office.
It was the perfect distraction. He had planned this and gotten Steve to somehow agree to the absolutely stupid idea to distract Kathy from seeing Javier.
Only Natalie, as my desk mate, was paying attention to us. "Give the man an answer, hon." she whispered as she went to go help Kathy keep Steve at the eye washing station, but not before tossing a warning glance at Javier. I knew Natalie would support me no matter what choice I made, but she also would kill Javi if she needed to do so.
Instead of answering him, I had a question. "Why Javi? Why me?"
"Fucking…" he looked like he would rather have his skin peeled off than answer, but he could tell I wasn't going to back down. "You make me feel…seen."
"You make me feel the same way," I said softly, even as our hands slightly touched over the paperwork that we had both forgotten about.
We stood like that until we both heard Kathy bellow at Steve that he could not stop flushing his eyes for a total of fifteen minutes and it had not even been five.
Javi grimaced as we both looked back over to the chaos of the scene we had forgotten about for a moment.
"Shit, Steve is going to kill me later. I promised him just three minutes…I better go try and rescue him."
"Yeah, you probably should." I agreed. "He is a really good friend, isn't he?"
"He is," Javi said with a smirk. "Even when I'm acting like a "goddamn teenager". Will seven be okay again?"
"Sounds good," I answered with a grin that matched his own as he winked at me and ran over to try and rescue Steve from Kathy and Natalie.
This was going to be the talk of the office for weeks to come.
I looked down at my desk and couldn't help but laugh. Javi had forgotten to take his paperwork.