Hey guys!
Enjoy another little drabble about Lucifer and Trixie's special friendship.
„Lucifer?"
„Mhm."
„Are you awake?"
„No, I'm talking to you in my sleep."
„Really? That's so cool!"
„..."
„Lucifer?"
„No."
„But I didn't ask anything yet!"
„I'm quite certain that the answer is no."
„It's not a yes or no question."
„Every question is a yes or no question if you really want it to be."
„...I'm confused."
„Of course you are."
Silence. Trixie was sitting on the coffee table swinging her legs in the air, across the couch Lucifer was lying on, his eyes closed and his face emotionless. Her parents were stuck at work and she found her favourite Devil sleeping on the couch after her best friend's mom drove her home, much to her delight. She didn't want to wake him, she really didn't. But some questions just couldn't wait.
„So... can I ask you something?"
For a while, the only answer she got was a deep inhale and an even deeper sigh as Lucifer rubbed his hands across his face. Once he let them down, his eyes opened and he turned his head towards her.
„There's nothing I could say that would stop you from doing so, spawn, I'm certain of it."
After a short pause, Trixie decided that this technically wasn't a no. So she sighed deeply, slightly afraid of the answer, but asked anyway.
„Are you going to die?"
The Devil's mouth opened, then closed shut, and then his eyebrows furrowed together. That escalated quickly. Being the Devil that he was though, he chose not to take this question seriously and went back to staring at the ceiling, giving her a sleazy answer.
„That's a yes or no question, and a ridiculous one, child, even for you. The Devil's immortal, I thought I stressed it enough."
„Yeah, but..." The little girl's voice trailed off, and there was something in her voice that Lucifer couldn't identify. Not that he cared... „Michael said that someday there will be lots of wars and sick people, lots of bad things happening, and then God is going to kill you."
The Devil shot up from his earlier position, making Trixie jump as he pushed himself into a sitting position and stared at her in utter horror.
„When did this happen? Where's Michael now?" The little one looked at her in shock, her small mouth opening but no words came out. „Well don't just sit there, child, make yourself useful! Come on, where can I find my feathery disgrace of a brother, where did you meet him?"
„At school..." She finally replied, her little eyebrows furrowed together. „But he wasn't... feathery..."
„Well I suppose he hid his wings, humans aren't supposed to see the devine and all that..." He stood up, fixing his jacket with a firm tug. „Child, I've got an errand to run but I strongly suggest you don't go anywhere, your mother would murder me-"
„You're not staying?" Her voice was filled with endless disappointment, and for a brief second an unusal warmth spread across Lucifer's chest. He thought a bit asof what to say before quickly collecting himself.
„I shall be back in a considerable amount of time. Just make sure you don't let strangers in-"
„But how can Michael be your brother? He's only a year older than me..."
The Devil stopped in his tracks.
„Excuse me?"
„Michael Taylor, his mommy drives me home sometimes when my Mommy can't. He's real nice but sometimes pulls my hair when we're playing and it hurts. I don't like much when he's like that."
Lucifer just stared at her for a few seconds before rolling his eyes and slapping a hand over his forehead.
„Bloody hell, Urchin! Why didn't you start with that?!" Trixie jumped at his raised voice and watched cautiously as he slammed himself down onto the couch, back to his original position. „You gave me a heart attack for no bloody reason!"
„I'm..." The little girl's voice slightly trembled. Lucifer was mad at her, and that made her really sad. „I'm sorry."
The Devil let out an annoyed sigh, shaking his head in disbelief and once again remembered why he hated children. Rambling all the time, leaving out all the important details, not to mention they're sticky, loud, annoying... and then he made the mistake of taking a glance at the Detective's spawn.
She looked... sad.
Her eyes were slightly watery and she was stiff as a rock, asif she was afraid something bad would happen if she moved. She was watching him cautiously, and he had to think a bit before it dawned on him. He yelled at her.
Dear Dad.
He had to look down, biting his cheeks inside. He didn't mean to scare her and after all, she was not to blame. She never technically told him it was his brother she was talking about, he was the one who automatically assumed Michael was that Michael. In his defense, his brother Michael was someone that would be a problem, were he walking the Earth. Lucifer heard a little sniffle and felt a pang go through his heart. Another emotion? What's happening to him?
Slowly, he sat up and looked Trixie in the eye. His expression softened as she saw her lower lip tremble, but it also filled him with terror. He didn't know how to snap her out of her current emotions, and so he did what he always did, he told her the truth.
„Please don't cry, Urchin." He said softly, trying not to sound like he was begging, when in fact he was. „I wouldn't know what to do if you did and I really don't want your mother to see you this way. I didn't mean to yell at you. I..." He took a deep breath before swallowing his dignity whole. „I apologize."
The little girl sniffled once again before hopping off the table and slowly walking closer to Lucifer, whose heart started to race not knowing what her next move would be. Apparently though, she wasn't going to move; she just stood there in front of him, and it took him a few seconds to read her eyes. She was asking for a hug.
Now, normally, he would've ran. The little hellion, when cheerful usually surprised him with enormous hugs, sometimes almost knocking him over and he couldn't help but cringed at the unwanted attention. Sometimes he just wanted to ask why. Why couldn't she keep her hands to herself? Why did she insist on making physical contact? And, why, oh why on earth did she even... like him?
This time though, he had to admit, he brought this on himself. He upset the child, and now it needed comfort. He could either give it to her or make her even more upset by rejecting her. It was clear he didn't have a choice.
Locking eyes with her, he slowly nodded and took a deep breath before opening his arms for her. Within a second, she crashed into him, holding him tightly around the neck. Lucifer stiffened at first, but finally wrapped his arms around her.
She is so tiny. Fragile, even. And so, so... so very... well, tiny.
He was actually afraid of squeezing her too hard, so instead he just ran a hand through her hair, the other one resting on her waist. Trixie was quiet, so Lucifer assumed the hug was working, but wasn't brave enough to let go of her. He'd let her be the first to pull away.
Long seconds, maybe even minutes passed, and somehow the Devil felt himself... let loose. His anxiety seemed to vanish as he breathed in the sweet scent of the little girl's raspberry shampoo-smelling hair, and her small heart beating steadily against his shoulder calmed him. The hug was becoming... comforting. For him! He didn't need comforting! Or so he thought... he was enjoying this embrace, he couldn't deny it. Maybe hugs weren't that horrible after all...
At that moment, Trixie pulled away and Lucifer studied her face briefly. Her tears were gone and she seemed much calmer, but there were still wrinkles of worry on her forehead that he didn't like the least bit. He resisted the urge to reach out and smooth her skin down with his thumb.
„Are you alright, Urchin?"
Trixie bit down on her lip, looking up at him. She seemed to struggle to find the right words for a little while.
„So... you're not going to die?" She finally asked.
Oh. Ooooh.
Now he got it, the reason she was still worried. He hadn't exactly answered her question. And why didn't he? Well... because he genuinely didn't know.
„You have nothing to worry about, Urchin. I'll be around for a long, long time."
He should've known this wouldn't be enough of an answer. Certainly not after that little snot Michael planted the beautiful picture of Armageddon in her head...
„But how long?" She pressed, and he sighed deeply. He wouldn't lie to her, but he didn't want to break her either. „The Bible says the truth, you told me before! Michael says his mommy read it in the Bible... that God would kill you..."
The Bible.
Lucifer bit down on his lip. How was he supposed to explain it to her when even he couldn't make sense of some of its content? He'd have to be careful with his answers.
„Come, child." He eventually said, to buy himself some time, and maybe – just maybe – to make the little miscreant a little more comfortable. He patted the seat next to him. „Sit with me."
Trixie didn't need to be told twice, and soon she was on the couch right next to him, her small leggs pulled up to her chest. Lucifer turned towards her before taking a deep breath.
„Lots of things in the Bible are true, child. I was there for a lot of it. But the truth is, I don't know everything either."
Well, that was a blow to his ego, but he'd have to suffer through it if he wanted to stay truthful. And he always did.
„You see, my Father... God... He has a lot of secrets. Secrets he wouldn't share with anyone, not even Amenadiel or Azrael. Let alone me..."
„Not even Jesus?" Trixie asked, her eyes showing nothing but pure innocence.
Wow.
Would it do any good if he tried to explain to her that God was the only one who fully knew his own plan, but that God was actually the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit all at once too? That he was Jesus as well? That the Bible says not even Jesus knows the Plan, but then again, God is essentially Jesus?
No, it definitely wouldn't do any good. Besides, he was just as confused about it as Trixie would have been.
„I'm not sure, child." He admitted, and again, that was a low blow to his ego. He knew he didn't know much, but to say it out loud was a completely different thing. Then again, it also felt strangely relieving...
„Then how does Michael's mom know God would kill you?"
Part of Lucifer wanted to raise his voice again and tell Trixie to stop asking questions. It wouldn't be hard to scare her, then again, he knew he couldn't bear it if he lost her trust. Not to mention he'd lose the Detective's trust too... who sent him here to take care of her child.
„Because the Bible says so." He replied, but Trixie's face fell again and he panicked. „But the Bible also speaks in metaphors a lot of the times..."
„What are metaphors?" She asked curiously.
„Like... fairy tales that didn't actually happen, but have a lesson. Like the Beauty and the Beast..."
„Oh!" The little girl nodded, understanding. „So God killing you is a metaphor? What's it a metaphor for?"
Oh, bloody hell.
How many more questions? How many more blows to his ego? How many times does this little punk want to remind him of his own helplessness?
Ouch.
„I'm not sure, child." He answered again, trying to stay calm. „The Bible says my Father's going to destroy all evil."
„Really?" Trixie asked, suddenly excited, making the Devil frown. „Lucifer, that's amazing!"
„Oof!"
She'd thrown herself at him, and he caught on reflex. His confusion deepened as he heard her laugh. What was it with this strange little creature?
„Child?" He kept his arms stretched out, unsure of what to do. „Why do you say that?"
„Don't you see?" She let him go and grinned at him, hopping around on the couch. „God's not going to kill you! You're not evil!"
The Devil froze.
Could... could that be true? He never thought of it like that... he mostly tried not to think about it at all.
He watched the child giggle and jump around in happiness, and suddenly, tears came to his eyes. He couldn't think of a single reason why... if he was being dishonest with himself.
Because he knew. It was Trixie. And her pure, sweet, innocent heart.
„Lucifer?" The little one suddenly stopped and sat down next to him. „Are you okay?"
No. He was not okay. He was far from okay.
„Child..." His voice trembled slightly and he quickly cleared his throat, but he couldn't make the tears disappear. „How do you know I'm not evil?"
Trixie seemed shocked at the question. The wrinkles on her forehead returned and for a moment, Lucifer thought he'd hurt her again, which made him feel horrible.
„Because you love me." She replied, and Lucifer actually had to bite back a sob. But the little girl wasn't done. „And you help Mommy catch bad guys, and you make her smile and laugh. And you play Monopoly with us and bake cookies with me and chase my bullies away. You saved Mommy and me from that really mean guy Malcolm. And you let me sleep in your bed when I had a nightmare once. Bad guys don't do that. You're not a bad guy."
Lucifer's heart felt lighter than a butterfly and more tears welled up in his eyes, making a few teardrops fall on his face, but he was smiling. His lower lip trembled. He felt weak. He couldn't speak.
„Lucifer?" She carefully edged closer to him and he looked down at her, hoping he didn't scare her. Trixie looked at him innocently, and asked him carefully. „Do you need a hug?"
He let out a laugh, but it sounded more like a sob. He wanted to tell her „that's preposterous". He wanted to make a snarky comment, anything that sounded even slightly devilish. But if there was one thing that was devilish, it was honesty. Never before did he feel like he needed a hug. But right now, he was craving one. And the Detective's little girl was ready to give it to him.
Since he couldn't speak, he only nodded. Trixie stood up and walked over to him before hugging him tightly; it felt different though. He wasn't the one comforting her, she was the one comforting him. And she knew that very well.
Before Lucifer knew it, he pulled the little one onto his lap to be able to hug her tighter. Trixie had one arm around his neck and the other one was on the back of his head, urging him to lay it on her shoulder. Reluctantly, he did. Just a second later, he felt her tiny fingers brushing through his hair and stroking it gently. He couldn't hold his sobs back anymore.
The little girl didn't say a word; there was no need for them. Right now, he just needed somebody to hold him. And Trixie was happy to be the chosen one, because Lucifer had a long overdue lesson to learn.
Even the Devil needs a hug sometimes.
Thank you for reading! Thoughts?